Holding Women Through Grief | Miscarriage, Still Birth, Loss, Death, Grief Support Group

Tasha Cofer | Bereavement Doula, Grief Educator, Author
  • 5.0 (7)
  • SOCIETY & CULTURE
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Do you ever feel unseen by the world — like your loss has become something no one wants to talk about? Do you wonder why it feels like everyone else is moving on while you’re standing still? Do you struggle to find the right words when people don’t know what to say — or say the wrong thing? Are you trying to support a partner who grieves differently while carrying your own pain? This podcast is a soft landing space for honest, heart-centered conversations about life after pregnancy and infant loss - where grief and healing can coexist, and we learn to live with both love and loss. Hi, I’m Tasha — a bereavement doula, educator, and advocate for women learning to live after loss. I created this podcast because too many women are carrying their grief in silence. After walking beside families through miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss, I’ve seen how often society avoids what feels uncomfortable — leaving grieving parents unseen and unsupported. This space was born from a simple truth: healing begins when we name what feels invisible. Here, we talk honestly about the ache of loss — the guilt, the questions, the moments when the world keeps moving and you can’t. But we also talk about love, memory, and what it means to rebuild a life that still holds both. My hope is that each episode feels like sitting with a friend who understands — someone who helps you breathe a little deeper, remember your own strength, and know that you are not alone. If you’re looking for gentle truth, comfort, and a place to be seen in your grief, you’ve found it. Let’s walk this path together — one soft, steady conversation at a time.

  1. 5D AGO

    #17| Why Does Miscarriage Grief Feel So Overwhelming? Understanding the Weight of This Loss

    Have you ever thought, “Is this normal? Am I being dramatic?” Do you feel jumpy, foggy, tight-chested, or like your body can’t settle down? Have people said things like “at least it was early” — and it made your grief feel worse? Are you carrying this quietly… and wondering why it feels so lonely? In today’s episode, we’re answering the question so many women whisper but don’t say out loud: why does miscarriage grief feel so overwhelming? Because it can feel like whiplash  one moment you’re numb, the next you’re furious, then you’re crying in waves and wondering if something is wrong with you. Let me say it clearly: you are not being dramatic. You’re responding to a real loss. By the end of this episode, you’ll have: a simple explanation for why the grief feels so intense language for what your brain and body are doing and one practical tool for when the overwhelm hits Because understanding doesn’t remove grief… but it does remove shame. When the grief comes in hot, try this: Step 1: Name it (one word). “This is grief.” “This is panic.” “This is longing.” “This is shock.” Step 2: Place it (where is it in your body?). “My throat.” “My chest.” “My stomach.” “My shoulders.” Step 3: Soothe it (one small action). hand on chest + slow breath step outside for 60 seconds drink water feet on the floor + press down text one safe person: “Today is heavy. I don’t need advice. Just closeness.” When the grief feels too big, say this: “This feels overwhelming because it mattered.” Say it again. Let it land. This is not because you’re weak. It’s because it mattered. If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next Episode: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like — if you feel like you “should” be further along Episode: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible — if other people’s silence is making it heavier Episode: What I Wish I Heard After Losing a Baby — if you need language that doesn’t minimize your grief If miscarriage grief has felt overwhelming, I want you to leave with this: you’re not grieving too much. You’re grieving something real. Next Step If this episode helped you feel less alone, share it with someone who’s silently drowning after miscarriage. Sometimes all a person needs is language — not advice.   Website   This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

    10 min

  2. APR 6

    #16| Is This Grief, Mourning, or Bereavement? Understanding What You’re Feeling After Loss

    If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I grieving wrong… or am I just stuck?” this episode is for you. In plain language (no fluff), we break down the difference between bereavement, grief, and mourning so you can stop second guessing what you’re feeling and start understanding your body, your heart, and your healing. You’ll also get a simple 3-step tool to use on the days your emotions feel too big, too fast, or all over the place. For more support beyond this episode—tools, coaching, and a gentle place to land—visit my website : Holding Women Through Grief. Disclaimer: This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. I’m also not a doctor or licensed healthcare provider. If you need professional mental health support or have questions about your physical health or pregnancy history, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or your doctor/midwife/medical provider.

    9 min

  3. MAR 30

    #15| How Can Women Better Support a Grieving Friend? What Actually Helps After Loss

    Have you ever wanted to show up for someone in grief… but froze because you didn’t know what to say? Have you watched a woman lose her baby… and then slowly lose people too? Are you the grieving woman wondering why support feels so hard to come by — or how to ask for what you need without feeling “needy”? Do you want to be a safe person in someone’s grief story — not the person who disappears? This episode is for two women at once: the one grieving, and the one trying to love her well. Because here’s the truth: most people want to show up but grief is a language we were never taught. So we freeze. We go quiet. We say “let me know if you need anything” (and we mean it), but the grieving woman often doesn’t have the energy to manage support or ask for it. In this conversation, I’m giving you a different approach: presence over perfection  and practical ways to show up with consistency, not clichés. We talk about how silence can feel like safety to the supporter… but abandonment to the person grieving. And we talk about what actually helps: simple messages, steady check-ins, remembering names and dates, and being willing to stay.   In This Episode Why “perfect words” aren’t required but presence is Better phrases to use instead of “let me know if you need anything” A simple Support Styles framework to help you show up in a way that fits you What not to say and what to say instead (without making it about you) How to offer long-term support (because grief gets lonelier over time) What to do if you already disappeared and how to repair it One-sentence scripts grieving women can use to ask for support If this episode met you here… You don’t have to be eloquent. You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be willing. Send this episode to one person. If you’re supporting someone and don’t know what to say  send it. If you’re grieving and want your people to understand you send it. Let it be a bridge. If you want gentle reminders and support you don’t have to explain join my email community.  Stay Connected Website   This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

    12 min

  4. MAR 23

    #14| Why Do People Say Hurtful Things After Loss? How to Respond When Their Words Sting

    Have you ever smiled and nodded while your insides were screaming? Has someone minimized your loss with an “at least…” and you felt punched in the chest? Have you felt like you’re not just grieving… you’re also managing other people’s feelings? Do you freeze in the moment and only think of what you wish you said later?   Today we’re doing something a little brave. A little raw. We’re talking about the hurtful things people say after loss — not always because they’re cruel, but because they’re uncomfortable, ignorant, or trying to protect themselves from the reality of grief. And if you’ve ever thought, “Why am I having to comfort everyone else while I’m the one shattered?” I need you to hear this: you’re not crazy. You’re exhausted. This episode is different from Episode 13 (Ask a Bereavement Doula). That one was Q&A. This one is about how to protect your heart when grief meets other people’s mouth. Inside this episode, I give you: the 3 categories most hurtful comments fall into a simple 3-step response framework (so you don’t have to think on the spot) scripts in three tones: soft, direct, and spicy and what to do if you freeze, fawn, or explode afterward — because yes, that’s part of grief too.   This weeks Journal Prompt: “What comment has impacted me the most — and what do I wish I could say back?” If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next Episode 13: Ask a Bereavement Doula — Real Questions, Honest Answers — if you want more truth-with-love Q&A Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible — if silence and minimization have made grief heavier Episode 9: When Loss Changes Your Relationship — if grief has you navigating other people while you’re hurting   Send this episode to someone who’s grieving and keeps getting hit with comments that make them feel crazy. Not because it fixes the pain — but because it gives them words and boundaries. If you want quiet support like this in your inbox — reflections that don’t sugarcoat grief — join my private email community.  Website: www.holdingwomenthroughgrief.com   This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

    12 min

  5. MAR 16

    #13| What Does a Bereavement Doula Actually Do? Real Answers to Common Grief Questions

    What do you really want to ask someone who supports grieving families for a living? No sugarcoating. No Pinterest grief quotes. Just honest answers to real questions — from “Am I crazy?” to “How do I handle people who say the dumbest things?” If you’ve ever listened to an episode and thought, “Okay but what about MY weird thought?” …this one is for you.   Have you ever thought, “Am I doing grief wrong?” Do you feel numb one day and wrecked the next — and wonder what that means? Do you want to scream when someone says “everything happens for a reason” or starts a sentence with “at least…”? Have you ever had a grief thought so “unhinged” you didn’t even want to admit it out loud? Real answers we talk through Why you still feel sad when others have moved on: Because they moved on from the moment — but you’re still living the reality. You lost a person, a future, a dream. Jealousy after loss: No, you’re not awful. You’re heartbroken. You can be happy for someone and grieving for you — both can be true. What to say when someone says “at least…”: Respectfully? “At least” never helps. Swap it for: “I’m so sorry.” and presence. (And if you’re the grieving one? You’re allowed to set the boundary.) How to know if you’re healing: Healing isn’t the absence of pain — it’s the return of presence. Sometimes you don’t know until one day you breathe a little deeper… cry a little softer… laugh without punishing yourself for it. When people ask when you’re trying again: Your womb and your timeline are not community property. You’re allowed to say: “That’s private.” Full stop. Bonus truth: Yes, you can stop trying to be okay. You have nothing to prove.   This weeks journal prompt :  “What would it feel like to stop performing your grief — and start honoring it honestly?” If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next Episode 12: Jealousy After Loss — When Pregnancy Announcements Hurt — if comparisons and triggers hit you out of nowhere Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like — if you keep wondering whether you’re “doing this right” Episode 9: When Loss Changes Your Relationship — if grief has shifted how you and your partner connect     This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

    11 min

  6. MAR 9

    #12| Jealousy After Loss — When Pregnancy Announcements Hurt

    Have you ever smiled at a pregnancy announcement while something sharp hit you inside? Do you feel guilty for not being able to feel “pure happiness” for someone else right now? Have you wondered, “What kind of person feels this?” Do pregnancy announcements, baby showers, or Mother’s Day posts feel like a wound getting touched? Today we’re talking about something so many women feel after loss… but almost no one says out loud: jealousy. That silent ache when someone else has what you wanted. The sting when a friend posts a sonogram. The way your body reacts before your brain can catch up ,heart racing, cheeks hot, phone flipped face down ,and then the second wave hits: “Why can’t I just be happy for her?” If you’ve ever judged yourself for feeling that, I want you to hear me: jealousy after loss doesn’t make you cruel. It doesn’t make you selfish. It means your heart is wounded ,and a pregnancy announcement becomes a mirror of what you expected, what you hoped for, and what you lost. We talk about why jealousy shows up (without shaming it), how it often arrives with guilt, and why naming it actually softens it. And I remind you of something that matters: You can love someone and still feel envy. You can root for them and still grieve for you. Both can be true. This episode is permission to stop beating yourself up and start meeting your emotions with compassion. Listen Next Episode 8: Why Valentine’s Day Can Hurt After Loss  Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like  Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible    If this episode gave you language for something you’ve held quietly, share it with a grieving friend especially someone who’s been pretending they’re fine when pregnancy announcements hit. Sometimes sending an episode and saying, “This explains what I couldn’t say,” is the bridge. This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

    10 min

  7. MAR 2

    #11| 1 in 4: Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss — Why It Happens, What It Means, + What to Do Next

    You’ve probably heard the phrase “1 in 4”… but behind that number are real women, real grief, and real silence. If hearing statistics makes your stomach drop — or pulls you right back to that moment — I want you to take a breath with me. This episode is a gentle space to talk about what the numbers actually mean, why miscarriage and pregnancy loss are more common than anyone talks about, and what healing can look like when your world has changed. Have you ever thought, “I didn’t know this was common… I thought it was just me”? Do you find yourself replaying the “what ifs” and wondering if you caused it? Have you felt like the statistic validates you… and yet somehow still makes you feel erased? Do you need someone to say, clearly: this isn’t your fault — and you don’t have to earn the right to grieve? In this episode, we’re taking the “1 in 4” statistic and putting a human heart back inside it. Because when no one talks about pregnancy loss, you don’t just grieve the baby — you start grieving your confidence. You start questioning your body. You start carrying shame that was never yours to carry. We talk about what the stats really say, why pregnancy loss happens (especially early loss), and why so many women blame themselves for things that weren’t in their control. And I say this plainly in the episode, but I’m going to say it here too: You didn’t cause this. This isn’t your fault. And you don’t have to earn the right to grieve. We also name something important: sometimes “common” doesn’t feel comforting — it can feel infuriating. Like you’re being turned into a number instead of honored as a mother with a story. So we talk about how to let the information validate you without letting it erase you. And then we move into the part so many women need next: what healing can look like (no timelines, no pressure), how to get out of the “what if” spiral, how to ask for what you actually need, and when it’s time to reach for professional support. What You’ll Hear in This Episode what “1 in 4” actually means and why it matters why miscarriage and pregnancy loss are more common than people talk about a grounded explanation of common causes of early pregnancy loss (without blame) myth vs truth for the thoughts that shame loves to use (“I caused it,” “my body failed”) what healing can look like in real life (not Pinterest healing — real healing) simple, one-sentence ways to ask for support when you don’t even know what you need   This Weeks Journal Prompt “What does hearing these statistics make me feel about my own loss — or the losses of women I love? What do I want to say to myself right now?” If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next Episode 1: The First Days After Loss — What No One Prepares You For — if you’re still in shock or early survival mode Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like — if you feel like you “should be over it by now” Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible — if the silence from others has made everything heavier If you know someone who has ever whispered, “I thought it was just me,” send them this episode. Not because it fixes anything — but because it names the truth. And naming the truth is how shame starts to loosen. If you want quieter support between episodes, I’d love to welcome you into my private email community — gentle reflections, reminders, and support that doesn’t require you to explain yourself.  Pick one friend you know has experienced loss (even years ago) and send this exact text with the episode link: “I thought of you when I listened to this. No pressure to respond — I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.”   This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. I’m also not a doctor or licensed healthcare provider. If you have questions about your specific health or pregnancy history, please reach out to your doctor, midwife, or medical provider. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

    10 min

  8. FEB 23

    #10| The Love That Stays — Keeping Your Baby’s Memory Alive

    Grief changes, but love never leaves. This conversation is a quiet space to talk about memory — not just what fades, but what stays. If you’ve ever worried your baby might be forgotten… or wondered how to keep their presence close in your life… this episode is for you.   Have you ever worried that, as time passes, fewer people remember your baby? Have you felt the ache of being the one who still remembers the date, the name, the little details? Have you wondered how to carry your baby’s memory in a way that feels loving and personal — not performative?   In this episode, we’re naming a fear that doesn’t get talked about enough after loss: not just the pain, and not just the sadness — but the fear of forgetting… or being the only one who remembers. There’s a sentence I hear again and again from grieving mothers: “I feel like I’m the only one who remembers my baby now.” And behind that sentence is something so sacred. Not a need for attention. Not a need for performance. Just love asking to be witnessed. We talk about how remembering your baby doesn’t mean you’re stuck in grief. It means you’re still connected. Grief may change shape over time, but love stays — and memory can become one of the places that love continues to land. I also share quiet, real-life examples of remembrance: a mother who lights a candle each month on her baby’s due date, and another who wears a bracelet with her baby’s initials that no one else understands… but she does. And that’s enough. If you’ve ever questioned whether your way of remembering “counts,” this conversation is your reminder: There is no right way to remember. There is only your way.    What You’ll Hear in This Episode Why the fear of your baby being forgotten can feel just as painful as the silence itself The difference between remembering and feeling “stuck” in grief Gentle, personal ways to keep your baby’s memory close in everyday life Validating reminders for when the world has moved on but your love hasn’t A journal prompt to help you explore memory with tenderness   Tools, Prompts, + Resources Mentioned These are not obligations. They’re invitations. Speak their name: Even if it’s only in the car, in the shower, or in prayer — their name matters. It existed. It still does. Create a gentle reminder: This doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be yours. Light a candle on milestones Write a yearly birthday letter Place a stone somewhere meaningful Visit a place that feels close to them   Include them in your family in quiet ways: A Christmas ornament A whisper during a blessing A flower tucked into a bouquet Grief may be invisible… but remembrance doesn’t have to be.   Carry them in a way only you know: A ring, bracelet, tattoo, or keepsake A note tucked into your wallet Sometimes the most sacred memory is the one no one else sees.    Journal Prompt “What does it look like for me to carry my baby’s memory with love — not pain?” Take your time with this one. Let it be honest. There is no right answer.   If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next Episode 6: Am I Still a Mother After Loss? — if you’re carrying questions about identity, motherhood, and being seen after loss Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible — if the silence from others has made your grief feel harder to hold Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like — if you’re trying to understand how love and grief can continue together over time    Connect + Next Step Share this episode with one person — a friend, sister, or another mom who may be quietly wondering if her baby still matters to the world. This is one small way we can say: Yes. Always. If you want gentle support between episodes, I’d love to welcome you into my private email community — a quiet space for soft reflections, stories, and reminders that you are not alone.  Disclaimer This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

    8 min
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About

Do you ever feel unseen by the world — like your loss has become something no one wants to talk about? Do you wonder why it feels like everyone else is moving on while you’re standing still? Do you struggle to find the right words when people don’t know what to say — or say the wrong thing? Are you trying to support a partner who grieves differently while carrying your own pain? This podcast is a soft landing space for honest, heart-centered conversations about life after pregnancy and infant loss - where grief and healing can coexist, and we learn to live with both love and loss. Hi, I’m Tasha — a bereavement doula, educator, and advocate for women learning to live after loss. I created this podcast because too many women are carrying their grief in silence. After walking beside families through miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss, I’ve seen how often society avoids what feels uncomfortable — leaving grieving parents unseen and unsupported. This space was born from a simple truth: healing begins when we name what feels invisible. Here, we talk honestly about the ache of loss — the guilt, the questions, the moments when the world keeps moving and you can’t. But we also talk about love, memory, and what it means to rebuild a life that still holds both. My hope is that each episode feels like sitting with a friend who understands — someone who helps you breathe a little deeper, remember your own strength, and know that you are not alone. If you’re looking for gentle truth, comfort, and a place to be seen in your grief, you’ve found it. Let’s walk this path together — one soft, steady conversation at a time.

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