Horror Movie Talk Horror Movie Talk: Horror Movie Review

Cocaine Bear never forgets his lines.































Synopsis







Cocaine Bear is loosely based on a true story of a bear that finds and consumes cocaine air dropped by a cocaine smuggler in 1985. In this movie, instead of dying immediately, it does what everyone imagines in their head when they hear the words “Cocaine Bear”. It goes on an unhinged coked up rampage across a state park. 







Along the way, Cocaine Bear’s, or as his friends call him, Pablo Escobear, crosses paths with drug dealers, thugs, rangers, children, and a mom. These people fare about as well as you would expect against Cocaine Bear.







Review of Cocaine Bear







The movie is structured basically as a slasher in that the characters are mostly there as fodder, and they are all trying to escape an unhinged, all powerful killer.







However, even for a slasher, these characters have super thin development. None of them have what I would call an “arc”. Not even Cocaine Bear.







The cast is serviceable with Kari Russel, MArgo MArtindale, Ray Liotta (RIP), and a bunch of newcomers. They just aren’t given much to work with.







Really the most valuable and enjoyable thing that this movie gives you is the title. It’s going to be talked about in knowing tones by the same people that mention Sharknado movies without having actually seen it.







To it’s credit, it doesn’t shy away from the gore, and earns it’s R rating, but doesn’t go crazy. 







Overall, it’s ok. There are enjoyable moments, and the concept is novel early on, but it loses it’s edge very quickly and it becomes just a waiting game for the obvious ending. It’s a B movie with a 35 million dollar budget. I didn’t expect much, and it perfectly met my expectations







Score







4/10

We watched Scream 6 and were impressed with this incredibly fresh new take on the otherwise stale genre of slashers in 2023!























@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website









https://youtu.be/h74AXqw4Opc









Synopsis







A year after the events of Scream (2022) where the Woodsboro murders decimated the group of plucky, woke high school students, we find ourselves in college, in New York City.







In a super weird turn of fate, our young heroins Sam Carpenter (Melissa Barrera) and her sister Tara (Jenna Ortega) are being stalked by none other than Ghost Face himself.







As the friend group pulls together to try to figure out who the new killer might be, they also become suspicious of each other.







As it turns out, this killer follows the rules of horror movie tropes, and could easily be one of their closest friends, if these Stab movies are to be believed.







Will the friends figure out who the new killer is? Will Ghost Face say some quippy line? Who will be stabbed, and who will come out on top?















Review







I just asked a bunch of cliff hanger questions at the end of my synopsis. And Scream is known for it’s meta takes and twists. Here’s a meta twist for you - I don’t give a shit who comes out on top AT ALL!!!







I stopped caring about Scream the moment the second movie started in 1997. It’s always a slightly diminished crew of last year’s protagonists looking at each other and figuring out what movie trope they are breaking that will get them killed. If only Ghost Face would just hop off of the screen and do me so I don’t have to sit through another one of these cash grab installments.







Is Scream 6 bad? No, it’s fine. It’s fan service. But everything is fan service now. Fan service has replaced originality in favor of safety.







Do you want safety? IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? Yes. As it turns out, you do. Or at least that’s what your wallet says when you pay to go see the new Scream, or Halloween Ends, or The Purge 8: Unlimited Bulimia. 











Watch Scream 6Buy or Rent on AmazonClick here to Watch























Sometimes you just need some nostalgia in your life, and this is that. It’s not going to blow you away, or make you wish there were more Scream movies. It’s going to pelt you with ‘member berries. 







I will say that this version of Ghost Face might be the strongest in my memory, even if my memory for this is pretty bad. He is wiry, and powerful, and frantically hateful. His acts of violence are gruesome and gross.

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It's a magical evening folks. Every year the HMT academy gets together and chooses the best moments and movies of the year. Join us and celebrate another year of horror cinema.































Best ad









* Buffalo Bills Weight Loss Center - The Silence of the Lambs







* Kurt Russels Mustache Rides - Bone Tomahawk ep







* Loch Lomond death - dog soldiers ep







* Normal Activity - Paranormal Activity Episode







* Discount Dentures - Drag Me To Hell Episode







* Billy Zane - The Mummy







* Centipede Twister - Human Centipede 2 ep







* Estrogen Network - MEN ep









Best Guest









* Fart Simpson (The Wailing/Resolution)







* Dustin Goebel (The Sadness)







* Max Allen (The Mummy)







* Bryan (Cabin Fever)







* Annie Hardy (Dashcam)







* James Jude Courtney (Halloween Ends)







* Keith (Scream 2022)









Most Sexual Moment









* Kinsey Scale - firestarter 2022 episode







* Should we get naked - Cabin Fever Episode







* Zombie Jacking - Resolution Review







* Be careful what you wish for - stranger by the lake episode







* Poison T**s - hostel ep







* I'm About to Cum - The Sadness Ep









Most Problematic Moment









* What a Dumb Bitch - The Mummy







* Gypsies -Drag Me To Hell Episode







* OOPS - Constantine episode







* Don't use the n-word - Get Out







* DAvid's a little racist - Dog Soldiers Ep









Most Psychologically REvealing Moment









* David Hates Horses - Nope Episode







* Bryce's fear of electronics - the ring







* Bryce's brain is too strong - smile ep







* The Real Bryce - Bone Tomahawk Ep







* TAke it Back - texas chainsaw massacre 2022 episode"







* Listening like God - The Possession of Hannah Grace Episode







* I can Talk About TikTok - Orphan First Kill ep









Worst Movie We Watched this year









* Puppet Master (1978)







* 13 Ghosts







* Buffy The Vampire Slayer







* Halloween Ends







* Studio 666







* Orphan: First Kill









Best Movie We Watched this year









* Silence of the Lambs







* Paranormal Activity







* The Fly (1986)

We dig the 80's and here's proof. What are your favorite 80's horror movies?















@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website

The Descent is more than a decent movie, it's phenomenal. It doesn't play it safe by making just a straight ahead monster movie, it delves into many different kinds of phobias along the way.































Synopsis







The Descent starts out similar to my favorite porn, with a team of international women out in the woods. They go caving in an uncharted cave system in the Appalachians. Quickly their expedition goes sideways when a cave in happens and they are stuck in the caves, short on supplies. The film quickly turns terrifying as they find out that the caves are full of goblin monsters hell bent on eating them, which happens to be my least favorite porn.







Review of The Descent







This is a fantastic horror movie that hits a lot of different beats of horror. It deals out claustrophobia, dread, jump scares, interpersonal drama, all while passing the Bechdel test. A rare accomplishment in any horror film.







The unique setting of the film and the deliberate slow burn draws the audience in, in a way that most monster films don’t. By the time we are introduced to the main antagonists of the film, we have already seen the protagonists crushed with the fatigue and uncertainty of whether they will ever find a way out.







Although dark and disorientating, the film has some really great creature design and gory special effects.







It let up even in the end, and is a really unique viewing experience.







Score







10/10







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