How Do I Keep Being Successful at Not Choosing Porn‪?‬ Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)

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I had a call with one of my clients today and he asked a really interesting question.  He had just been called into the bishopric as a councilor, he’s not chosen to view pornography for about 6 months, he is a business owner, a husband, and a father.  
He said, I have 2 things on my mind but let’s start with this one. “how do I get my mind right with all the stuff coming down, all the different roles and actions that need to be taken?” 
What was weighing on his mind is adding this new, demanding challenge of being in a bishopric to his life and he’s worried that he might fall back on old coping strategies to deal with his increased responsibilities. 
I think a lot of people have this come up, especially as they find that they are more successful at not choosing pornography.  How do I position myself to continue this success? Is essentially what he is asking and what you might also be asking. 

So, today, I’d like to share with you what I shared with him.  While this may not be the exact right answer for you, or for every situation, I think these are universal ideas that can help almost anyone and will probably help you, as you put pornography behind you and start creating the life you want and Thriving Beyond Pornography. And if you are ready to put the things that we talk about in the podcast into practice and are committed to not simply overcoming pornography now, but also building or rebuilding your relationship, then sign up for a free consult at zachspafford.com/workwithzach.  

One of the biggest reasons men and women struggle with pornography is that it has been a reliable way to mitigate and manage emotions, stress, and other discomforts.  

So, when my client asked me the question of how to keep his mind right as he takes on new roles and responsibilities, it was pretty obvious that his concern was that he didn’t want to fall back on his old ways of dealing with new stressors.  

When new stressors come into our lives, our old ways of dealing with stress can easily come up as our mind tries to figure things out.  Having taught him the key skills that he needs to address when his mind offers him pornography with his old urge patterns, it seemed likely to me that, while he had started to become master of the behaviors he had previously turned to, he wasn’t yet creating a fulfilling life. 

Creating a fulfilling life is one of the surest ways to move beyond your old patterns and never go back. 

Think of an old job you had, that met your needs financially, but that was maybe too easy, not fulfilling or even horrible for whatever reason.  When you leave that old job, finding one that better matches your skill, helps you feel fulfilled and drives you to be a better employee by challenging you to grow and learn and solve problems in new and interesting ways. 

When that is what your job situation looks like, it’s pretty unlikely that you will want to go back to the old work environment. 

The same is true with your old habits.  Going back seems silly, when you’ve created a more fulfilling and enriched way of living. 

So, to assist in building this new life, I want to offer 2 simple habits that will help you build a more fulfilling life. 

The first is to say, “No”

That might seem too simple or even counter to creating a fulfilling life.  A lot of us were taught that service is the highest ideal and doing everything we can to serve will be meaningful.  I would simply say to that, yes, and saying no to doing everything you’re asked to do can help create balance in a busy, stressful life. 

I like the phrase, “If it's not a...