How Motherhood Alchemizes Us with Carly Ely M.Ed, Ed.S

How do you navigate the unique challenges of parenthood with a brain that's wired a bit differently?

In this episode, Carly Ely gets real about her journey through motherhood, her late diagnoses of ADHD and autism, and how they affect her parenting. Carly is a school psychologist turned pediatric sleep and parenting coach who is passionate about helping moms parent consciously and authentically.

We talk about how she navigates the complexities of being a mom with neurodivergence. From feeling overstimulated by your kids to finding beauty in the chaos, she opens up about her experiences and dives deep into the inner work moms have to do to heal themselves.

Tune in to this week's episode of the Unperfected Pod as Carly encourages us to embrace the alchemy of motherhood and allow the magic to unfold, transforming the everyday challenges into extraordinary moments of self-discovery and empowerment.

[00:00 - 09:14] Introduction

• Brooke welcomes Carly and reveals how they’ve met

• Carly talks about her family, her work, and what it’s like to launch her podcast

[09:15 - 21:32] From Overwhelmed to Empowered: Embracing Neurodivergence in Motherhood

• Carly explains her role as a school psychologist, focusing on assessing kids for disabilities and determining IEP eligibility

• She expresses frustration with the inflexible nature of the school system in addressing the needs of children with potential issues

• She gets candid about her own late-diagnosed ADHD and autism, highlighting the irony of not recognizing it despite her psychology background

• There’s a trend of late ADHD and autism diagnoses in women due to historical diagnostic criteria based on white males

• She reflects on the unique challenges neurodivergent mothers may face, such as heightened sensory experiences and difficulty processing the demands of parenting

• She emphasizes the potential to rewire our brains, offering hope and empowerment for those who are in their neurodivergent paths

[21:33 - 39:45] The Journey to Awakening and Healing

• It’s easy to feel helpless after being diagnosed with ADHD and autism, especially with the lack of adequate support and treatment post-diagnosis

• Medications help to an extent but there needs to be a more holistic and transformative approach

• The challenges of parenthood, coupled with guilt and a desire to be a good mom, lead Carly to explore the roots of their emotional responses and triggers

• It's essential to break down the stigma surrounding neurodivergence and recognize it as a source of strength, particularly in the profound compassion exhibited by neurodivergent individuals

• Carly transitioned from being a child psychologist to a pediatric sleep specialist, driven by personal experiences and a realization that traditional approaches to mental health lack depth and understanding

• Addressing basic human needs, such as sleep, is a foundation for uncovering higher-level emotional and psychological issues

• Healing is not about putting a band-aid on wounds but engaging in uncomfortable, introspective work and breaking free from the box we put ourselves in

[39:46 - 51:15] Overcoming Generational Challenges in Parenting

• Carly delves into the concept of the "mother wound" and how her own mother's parenting may have left unmet needs and impacted her sense of self

• Difficulties in parenting that arise from not having a clear reference point for certain emotional needs, especially if it’s not part of our lived experiences

• We can transmute our traumas into positive parenting and focus on self-awareness, compassion, and owning up to our mistakes

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