The non-diet, intuitive eating podcast to help you stop dieting and find wellness without the obsession.
Ep 135 - The problem with Noom
Welcome to how to love your body! Today’s episode is all about Noom, how it’s different, how it’s not and the trouble with pretty much everything they’re doing!
Note: You may notice our new podcast art! Don’t be alarmed it’s just us with a fun new cover by DrawnbyMary on Instagram!
This episode is brought to you by our 5 Day Mindset Boost Series that you can get at bit.ly/undietboost . This will help you work on releasing the dieting mindset which is a hugely important part of the UnDieting process.
Alright let’s Noom it up.
For those who don’t know what is Noom?
From my understanding it is a diet app created by psychologists - and it’s most defining feature is that it is psychology based.
It’s branding is very strong and people really see it as something totally different from other diets. I was at a networking event once and someone asked me what I do, I told them I was an intuitive eating counsellor and I help people stop dieting and have a healthier relationship with food. Their response was - oh like Noom??//??? Forehead slap.
As I did a bit more research for this episode Noom was actually created by 2 engineers, not psychologists. Yes perhaps they consult with psychologists but that’s not who created it.
This app has 50 million users and to quote “The company aims to help reinforce positive decision-making to improve the lives and health of its users.”
Where does the psychology come in?
Let us take you through the journey on their website it says - find out what's possible with Noom’s psychology based evaluation and your 2 choices are Get fit for good and lose weight for good. (Yeah okay sure)
You then have to enter your weight and height (AKA BMI) - seeing the psychology yet? Yeah me neither.
It then asks ME what my ideal weight is (aka pick an arbitrary number ) - I deliberately picked a weight that is underweight for me to see what they’d say, the response was congratulations you set your first goal!
Then as I click through it says Noom creates long term results through habit and behavior change, not restrictive dieting… yeah okay, you know what behavior they want you to change? Eating food.
Then it says -
Women in their 30s who want to reach an ideal weight between xxlb. and xx lb. (numbers that are too low for most grown women) especially tall women. Need a different strategy depending on their current lifestyle and then they ask me if i'm active have healthy habits (what the hell does that mean)
Then As a Woman in your 30s, the specific combination of foods you eat can have a huge impact on your ability to burn fat. Which of the following best describes your typical lunch?
As I go through the quiz they say Sticking to a plan can be hard, but Noom makes it easy - how? Nobody knows - this is no different than any diet ever.
They claim I can lose 50 lbs in 6 months (and keep it off HAHA)
Then I answered a few more questions and they moved my 50 lb weight loss up by a month - what the hell
Oh wow answered a few more questions now I’m going to lose 50 lbs another 2 weeks sooner!
Now we get to the first mention of psychology and it says they'll send me articles? And that there are no good or bad foods, just green and red foods - oh ef off!
Everyone falls off the wagon sometimes, we’ll help you get back on track
They claim to use cognitive behavioral therapy and they are asking a bunch of questions in order to help me “control my triggers” to eating.
And they use the TRUE findings that yo-yo dieting results in weight gain over time.
This is so manipulative, if they mention it then THEY must be different but what’s different here?
From people we’ve talked to they almost always recommend 1100-1200 calories for everyone no matter what you answer to all these questions and it’s supposedly personalized.
The onboarding process seems so promising, it really does look and f
Ep 134 - Diet Thinking and Byron Katie
Welcome to How to Love Your Body - today we are talking about a concept that was created by Byron Katie - it’s all about questioning our thoughts and figuring out who we would be/ what would we feel like without the thoughts that cause us misery and suffering. This relates perfectly with our thoughts about food and our bodies.
It’s about questioning these thoughts and asking yourself if they are true. A big reason humans endure so much suffering in their thoughts is because they think things “should” be a certain way. It’s most likely because we were taught it should be this way or that the person next to you is doing something so you think to yourself that it should be this way for you too. This happens in all areas of our life - by this age I should have this and be this … I should look this way, I should eat this way, I should, should, should… it’s all a bunch of shoulding on yourself -- so how can you stop shoulding on yourself?
Let’s dive into a few common thoughts that may hold you back from truly being able to live your life as an Intuitive Eating and UnDieter.
1.Who would you be without the thought ...I need to lose weight?
Is the answer peace/Freedom? If so you most likely aren’t suffering because you actually “need” to lose weight - you are suffering because of the THOUGHTS that you have. So what to do? Question these thoughts and shift them.
Is it true you really need to lose weight? According to who? Is it that you need to lose weight or is it the pressure from society to meet certain standards to look a certain way? “I need to lose weight” has no depth - it is an empty “requirement” - how much weight do you need to lose? How can you actually put a number on it ? A lot of our “should” thoughts are completely random and we plucked them out of the air (or picked them up from what someone said) and decided they were true.
The truth is we can’t control our bodies - we can’t decide that x amount of weight “will be the answer” - it’s not about pursuing weight loss.
It’s about listening to your body and letting it do it’s thing. It’s about living a life without rigidity and obsession. It’s about doing things that feel good to you - your body will land where it’s gonna land regardless, it will ebb and flow throughout life -
Who would you be without the thought...I shouldn’t eat that?
Is the answer at ease with food? A person who can just eat what feels good and move on? If so you most likely aren’t suffering because you actually shouldn’t eat that - you are suffering because of the THOUGHTS that you have. So what to do? Question these thoughts and shift them.
What if “eating that” is the very thing that is actually best for you and your body? What if eating that cookie will give you pleasure, joy, and a clear mind that isn’t filled with restriction. What if allowing yourself to eat what you want gives you a sense of empowerment which turns into listening to your body and finding a natural balance? what if you naturally eat a variety of foods with all different levels of nutrients that feel good to you? Without the thought “I shouldn't eat that” you can be free and at peace to trust your body and live your life.
Who would you be without the thought...If I gain weight I’ll be unhealthy/ or if I don’t lose weight I’ll be unhealthy?
Is the answer at peace in your body? If so you most likely aren’t suffering because you actually will be unhealthy if you gain weight - you are suffering because of the THOUGHTS that you have. So what to do? Question these thoughts and shift them.
What is healthy? What is unhealthy? Can you really be one or the other? When does one cross over and become healthy? When does one all of a sudden become unhealthy? There is not one way to define health - anyone can be on any par
Ep 133 - Why balance isn't the answer
Welcome to How to Love Your Body - On today’s episode we are going to be talking about why balance isn’t the answer. It seems to be a common misconception you can stop dieting and just be balanced - what a healthy and sensible answer to our food issues! This actually is just another way to control.
When you think balance you may think - never eat too much or little. Instead of restricting the dessert, allow yourself to have a little. Eat but make sure you “watch what you eat.” It may not be extreme restriction because you are allowing but it still is all about limitation - and limitation - and forcing yourself into a perfectly balanced place will still cause bingeing. Obsession. And we can bet there isn’t that feeling of freedom around food. Trying to force yourself into balance isn’t food freedom - it’s dieting. Diet culture is getting sneakier - they sell a “gentle” diet and call it balance.
If humans could just limit what they ate and find “balance” - that means diets would work - but scientifically we know diets don’t work.
Pursuing balance is actually counterproductive. It is still a form of restriction - causing you to retaliate against the rules, keeping in that screw it attitude when you mess up.
We know - you may be saying, but I want to feel balanced with food. I want to be able to allow all food and give myself unconditional permission to eat and I also want to care about my health - I want to eat nutrient dense food I want to eat the rich pasta dish and the salad. I want to eat veggies with some of my meals and eat the dessert.. Isn’t that balance? How do I achieve this?
Balance is a great place to land and that’s where we feel we live and many clients we have worked with have ended up.
NOTE: Balance is not something that is now perfectly in the middle. It’s not a forced place where you are never too full or never too hungry - it’s not the center. There’s an ebb and flow to balance in the UnDiet world - It’s a sway - on any given day you may eat more, you may eat less, you may eat anything in between. Balance is, yes, eating the pizza and the salad but it is also eating just the pizza on certain days because that’s what sounds the best to you and your body and then on other days it might be eating just the salad if that’s what feels the best to you - there is no diet mentality attached and all decisions are made from a place of how your body feels - certain days COULD look like “traditional balance” where you have some of everything without swaying too far from the middle but it could also look like swaying far to the left or right of the middle - that is IE / UnDieting and balance / that is how you live a sustainable life because there’s lots of room to sway.
But when you pursue balance, it’s forced, it’s fake, it’s a diet - it’s still rules, there’s still shoulds.
It seems counterintuitive but you need to forget about balance in order to naturally find balance. Meaning - if you are totally fine with eating as much chocolate as you want, anytime, any amount - there are no rules, shoulds or anything to retaliate against and your body has permission to find balance within that freedom, leaving you FREE and balanced.
This doesn’t mean you always only have a couple bites but it means that it’s just a food that fits into your life with ease and flow.
True lifelong balance can only come with giving yourself complete freedom and go from there. And of course this won’t happen on day 1 but it does come.
Here are some ways you can work on finding balance as an UnDieter.
-Spot all or nothing thinking around food - this is not about living in the world of extremes anymore. See where you can spot yourself thinking - I can have it all - OR - I can have nothing. I either have to be good OR bad. I have to restrict it all OR eat it all. There is no in between
Ep 132 - How does eating more help with binge eating?
Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on this week’s episode we are going to be talking about bingeing. Bingeing is a very common side effect of dieting - why? The number one reason is due to restriction. Where there is restriction - either mentally or physically - the bingeing will persist. We know, because we were in the restrict/ binge cycle for 10 years each.
Before we dive in - we wanted to share with you about a couple exciting things we have coming in early 2021. One of those things being our documentary called Behind the Before and After and another being a giveaway where you could win one of 3, 6 months of free UnDiet support. We’ll share more about it later on but to To learn more - go to bit.ly/btbagiveaway
Okay, here we go - let’s talk about bingeing and how we can help.
Things you may have heard that will help with bingeing:
-Eat MORE food
-Get foods that you restrict/ binge on IN the house
-Eat whatever you want, when you want
-Allow all food and give yourself unconditional permission to eat
You may be thinking - HOW is this possible? You want me to eat MORE? You want me to buy bags of chips, jars of peanut butter, and chocolate bars and keep them in my house? This seems counterintuitive!!! Are you trying to ruin me and fuel the fire underneath all my binges!?? I can’t trust myself to do any of these things. I am out of control around food!
These are very normal things to feel and to say.
So why are things that feel so counterintuitive, things that will actually help with bingeing?
Because allowing food and having an abundant mindset around food creates a healthy relationship with food. When you know it’s available to you at all times there is not a preoccupation with food anymore. This allows you to think clearly and actually have space to listen to your body signals. If you aren’t constantly thinking about food you’ll notice when your body starts to get hungry. You’ll start to only think of food when you get hungry - or at least it won't be all the time - it’ll just be fleeting thoughts that don’t feel obsessive.
Another part to this is trust - It may feel scary to allow food that you feel like you dont have control around. It may feel scary to allow food into your house that you never allow because you know most of the time it just leads to bingeing. But once the food is around you and you know you can have it whenever - it will shift. It’s about learning to trust your body. If you can allow and then let trust lead you, you’ll be able to get to the other side of the bingeing. It may feel like you are being led in the dark, it’s you challenging yourself to do things differently. That you are willing to let your body lead you through the dark - imagine your body in front of you and you having your hand on it’s shoulders so it can guide you - and what your body is doing is guiding you into the light. It may feel really dark and scary, that you can’t see - but you can trust there is light on the other side - you know it’s there you just have to travel through it - and on the other side the light will shine and the bingeing will end.
How to work on moving your way through the dark and into the light “aka allowing food and ending the binge” :
“Faith it till you make it” - I heard someone say this once and I liked it a lot better than “fake it till you make it” - because feeling fake just makes it feel like you’re lying to yourself - but if you can faith it till you make it - you know it’s challenging but you can tell yourself - this is hard but I have faith it can be different - so it really is choosing to allow the food. Choosing to get it in your house. And then having faith!
Learn more about the biology of binge eating if you feel resistant to taking this approach, the book Body Respect is a great resource. If you don’t believe this
Ep 131 - Does your Mom think IE is BS?
Welcome to another episode of How to Love Your Body -- on this week’s episode we want to talk about a question that does come up often - which is when a family member, partner, friend, etc doesn’t understand what IE is and thinks it’s BS - that if you aren’t dieting, you don’t care about your health.
Before we dive in - you can download your free worksheet that goes along with this episode at bit.ly/understandingundieting
We’ve been taught that if we aren’t constantly pursuing weight loss, eating “healthy” and restricting “bad” food then we don't care about our health - this could not be farther from the truth!
But this is most likely the information that your mom / loved one has ingrained in them too.
These aren’t your own thoughts - and they aren’t your mom’s either. It’s important to realize this is a societal issue and not a personal issue. This can make it a bit easier to be compassionate to those around you even when they are pushing against intuitive eating/ the non diet approach.
So when you see the light and realize dieting is damaging and does not work - and this IE, UnDieting, Body acceptance message comes around - that’s amazing - and even though you have seen the light and you are ready to change the generational patterns of dieting from people before you and around you - the people in your life may not be there yet - and they may never be. And that’s okay.
That may be hard to hear but really we have to be okay with them never understanding - great if they do someday but if they never do, this doesn’t change anything about you and what you can do for your life - which is un learn all that diet culture has taught you and relearn how to create a healthy relationship with food and your body and ultimately obtain true genuine health (physically, mentally, and emotionally).
Some other helpful tips to remember:
Release the pressure to make someone understand IE
Ask yourself Why do you feel the need to defend it if you know it works for you?
What if you made it Your own special thing that no one can effect?
If they genuinely want to learn - send them to some resources (IE book? Body respect? Our Ig / a pod episode we’ve done?) - you don’t need to mentally and emotionally exhaust yourself for others - give resources and they can choose to educate themselves on the topic or not.
Remember, them thinking it’s BS is their own projection onto you - they are most likely stuck in diet culture themselves as mentioned - It’s not you, it’s their own stories that are creating their judgements of IE
Boundaries: You live your life, they live their life - and don’t give anymore energy to the topic. Make it known that you don’t want to talk about IE / dieting if they can’t respect the concept of it. You can ask them to respect your choices and you will respect theirs and if they can't do that for you - then that’s information for you.
THE POINT IS - YOU DON’T NEED TO TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT it because you can do whatever the heck you want. Trying to convince anyone of anything will only drive you crazy - and most likely feel frustrated and invalidated - maybe even feeling some shame. We can’t change anyone unless they are open and willing and have the desire to change / learn about a new way of being in a relationship with food. You don’t have to diet again and they don’t have to do IE - everything’s a choice and the most powerful thing we can do is to create our own armor and stand strong in our beliefs about what IE has done for our lives and not let anyone or diet culture take us down.
A few tangible steps to take:
Figure out what your boundaries are - What will you tolerate and what will you not tolerate? What feels safe and what doesn’t? What would you be okay with talking about and what would you not be okay with talking about ? Who do you allow
Ep 130 - Scared to keep food in your house?
Welcome to this week’s episode of How to Love Your Body.
A reminder to Please rate and review if you find our podcast helpful in any way!
Today we are talking about a very common fear and that is keeping food in the house (anything “bad” of course).
Why do we fear this?
Because we feel out of control around food, like we cant be trusted around it, we just think about it until we give in, say screw it, eat it all, and then promise we won't buy it again.
Is this food addiction? Is this a lack of willpower? How come other people can keep chips in their pantry and ice cream in their freezer and it’s not gone in a day? They can just eat it in a normal way? There must be something wrong with me, I’ll just have to control myself forever, I’m just different and that’s the way it is.
This is not food addiction, has nothing to do with willpower and you aren’t different - you’re just restricting.
Dieting, trying to be “healthy” or good, eating in moderation, being sensible, WW, or Keto, whatever you call it - not allowing all food and listening to your body is considered restriction.
NOTE: Some people ask, I’m eating the food, why isn’t it getting better? - mental allowing is key too, having a healthy relationship with food is also needed! If you feel bad for eating the food or are stuck in retaliation of dieting, there are still some steps to take to get to freedom.
All this is being said so that you KNOW it can be different, you aren’t different or weird or just lack will power and you are NOT addicted to food, yes even you :).
Diet culture teaches us that we need to control MORE that it’s our fault if we’re weird with food - but it isn’t and that just makes it worse - making you more likely to run back to another diet next week - the diet industry is brilliant. It causes a problem and then sells the solution, over and over and over until we die.
Well we’ve seen the truth - ALLOWING food and repairing your relationship with food and your body is the key to being normal with food and be that person who can have the chips in the pantry and the ice cream in the freezer and eat them like any other food - enjoying it when you want and not worrying about it when you don’t.
Here are 3 steps to take to move towards being comfortable having any foods in your house with ease and enjoyment:
Like Jenna always says - she could live in a grocery store and would eat the same.
Step 1: Know, understand and believe that you aren’t weird with food, these fears and food obsessions have nothing to do with you as a person, you’re just another cog in the diet culture machine! Know and believe that allowing food and ditching diet culture, and repairing your relationship with food and your body will heal this. 100%, yes even you.
In order to move forward with confidence you need to know that this is possible, or when it takes a bit of time and experimentation, it makes it really easy to say SEE ITS ME! I’m just like this.
Step 2: Start slowly allowing all foods - this is a step that you may already be doing, if not start introducing a few things you’ve been wanting to eat. Such as bread, real salad dressing cheese, chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream, etc.
If you ARE physically allowing food, start assessing your beliefs around the food/ your relationship with these foods - do you feel like you really SHOULDN’T be eating this food? Not eating this much of it? Really SHOULDN’T be having dessert every night? This is still going to feel restrictive and the effects of allowing won’t be in full effect. Work on identifying shoulds and start questioning them! What if I do want dessert every night for the rest of my life? What if that lets me live a life that is less about food and my body and more about living? Does trying to restrict dessert work? What do I end up doing when I don’t let myself enjoy the things
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