92 episodes

In this time of lockdown, it’s time to tune in and switch off. 

Let Em Rusciano speak to you in her soothing tones (NB: Not at all soothing) as she shuts out the c-word and thrives in isolation. There’s wine to be drunk! There’s shows to be watched! There’s family fights to be bitterly picked over! Em will bring the quality quarantine as she reminisces about past obsessions with her best friend Michael Lucas, gets positive advice from her life coach husband Scott (good luck Scotty), and socialises with social distance. Shut out the noise of the world, and get down in lockdown with Em.

Emsolation with Em Rusciano PodcastOne Australia

    • Comedy
    • 4.8 • 22 Ratings

In this time of lockdown, it’s time to tune in and switch off. 

Let Em Rusciano speak to you in her soothing tones (NB: Not at all soothing) as she shuts out the c-word and thrives in isolation. There’s wine to be drunk! There’s shows to be watched! There’s family fights to be bitterly picked over! Em will bring the quality quarantine as she reminisces about past obsessions with her best friend Michael Lucas, gets positive advice from her life coach husband Scott (good luck Scotty), and socialises with social distance. Shut out the noise of the world, and get down in lockdown with Em.

    The Final Meltdown

    The Final Meltdown

    Hands up who wants to hurriedly push 2020 out the door like it’s some long lost Uncle who gatecrashed your Christmas party, insulted and traumatised your guests, and sneezed all over your food. We’re gonna assume most of you raised your hands so fast that you pretty much punched the sky in your haste to confirm that we is all well and truly done with this dumpster fire of a year. As this will be our final episode of Emsolation for the year, Em and Michael have a bunch of stuff they wanna work through before they bid you bye bye. First up, they’ll tackle the backlash Lizzo is receiving for promoting a 10 day smoothie detox that she’s just completed on Instagram. Em and Michael also wanna talk about how the debut novel from a new feminist author called Florence Given, has been completely derailed, after a one time friend of Florence accused her of ripping off Black women's work for her book ‘Women Don’t Owe You Pretty’. Then it’s time to grab a large popcorn, a choc top and a stupidly large fizzy drink, and settle into your recliner for the greatest story ever told. Em is ready for the tea to be spilled as she runs us through what she’s calling ‘The Final Meltdown’. This ain't no movie, it’s not a musical, a book, or even a song, although it probably could be turned into all of those things, nope ‘The Final Meltdown’ is what Em is calling what went down when the whole year just came up and hit her in the face during her family beach holiday. Basically, Em just let her family know ALL the things they’d done during the year, that made her feel unappreciated. Em is describing it as The Greatest Tale that she’s ever told, she even likens herself to being a Slow Cooker. Finally, we wrap things up on some fun, with a Michael Lucas Madonna quiz, which we’re pretty much doing just so we can really illustrate how deep Michael’s complete obsession for Madge is. We also wanna thank everyone for coming along on this hilariously hectic and glitter stuffed ride, we promise there’s more of that to come in 2021 and we’re sending podcast hugs to you and yours.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 44 min
    Sticky Dickie as Saint Nicky

    Sticky Dickie as Saint Nicky

    This episode of Emsolation is a little on the hefty side, naturally it’s filled to the brim with the usual campery and fun, we even get a chance to revisit one of Em’s favourite topics, conspiracy theories, but the one thing helping to make this an extra long episode? Probably something to do with the solid 20 minutes that Em devotes to ranting about James Corden in the new Netflix movie ‘The Prom’. Ultimately Em loved ‘The Prom’, why wouldn’t she, it’s got Meryl Streep and Nicole Kidman in it, it’s got singing, dancing and LOTS of glitter and campery, so naturally all of that is a giant yaaas. However Em just wishes they’d hire proper singers and dancers, she was so mad, but then she still loved it because she’s meant to love it. Em stayed up all night thinking about it, so here’s the takeaways, Meryl is pretty solid, Nicole is loopy and definitely not a Fosse dancer, and James Corden...well you should probably just listen to get the full rundown on Em’s thoughts on James, so prep yourself for a lot of talk about ‘The Prom’, like, a LOT. Then we move onto Taylor Swift’s new album ‘evermore’ and some of the secret meanings behind the songs that her fans have decided are DEFINITELY true. Em is all about Taylor Swift song conspiracy theories, mostly because they are safe conspiracy theories, you know they’re not telling people to drink bleach or convince you every vaccine has microchips inside. Instead they push theories about the meanings of Taylor’s lyrics, who the songs are about, and even announcing the names of her famous friends' forthcoming babies. Finally we’ll devote a bit of time to Delta Goodrem’s Christmas Special, so this episode is pretty much camper than Christmas, so camp you should probs wrap yourself in tinsel and hang a Christmas bauble on each ear while you listen, you know, just to team with the theme. Or not, we’re not about to tell you how you should dress while you listen, so please feel free to get around it in the nude if that works better, you do you boo.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 41 min
    Sexy origin story.

    Sexy origin story.

    Let’s start this description off with an acknowledgement that Em and Michael, are both operating from weird, scatterbrained places this week. Michael is in the midst of filming his new TV series called ‘The Newsreader’ which is coming to the ABC in 2021. As you can imagine, filming a TV series is a HUGE effort, it’s full on from start to finish, so that means Michael needs to be everywhere, all at once, doing everything from putting out fires, to the general hysteria that comes from managing a bunch of creative people who are all working to bring your script to life. Meanwhile, Em was settling into her first counselling session with a brand spanking new psychologist this week, so she’s been pretty focussed on that. Hence Em and Michael figure why not talk about all of that in this podcast, let’s just talk about it. Once they’ve taken you from the pandemonium of filming a TV series during a pandemic, to the blurk of being on a brand new couch about to go over all of your things with a new psychologist, they’ll move onto the sexy retelling of the Colonel Sanders origin story, starring 90’s heart throb Mario Lopez. Yes you hungie percent read that right, and yes it is the same Colonel Sanders who introduced the world to Kentucky Fried Chicken. It would seem that Lifetime and KFC have partnered together to throw some money into making a sexy 15 minute mini movie, a romantic thriller if you will. Em and Michael have zero idea how much of this romantic rendering of the Colonel’s origin story is true, but they can report that they are here for it and also that there isn’t a sex scene that involves KFC gravy and a bed of hot chips, all filmed by a drone, which really does seem like a missed opportunity. There’s also a bunch of chat around the hardships of starting with a new therapist and the process of telling them ALL of the things. Then we wrap up by reflecting on Madge getting a tattoo, because when Madonna gets ink for the very first time, obviously we’re gonna be there to reflect it and critique it. So set your brains to scatter, with a sprinkling of weird (which is probably how most of us operate them on the regular anyway) and you’ll once again find this listening experience very agreeable.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 30 min
    All I want for Xmas is a banana

    All I want for Xmas is a banana

    As a regular consumer of this podcast, when we tell you that the content of today’s episode will cover everything from a Mariah Carey Christmas Special, the relentless weirdness of Rudy Giuiliani over the last few weeks, plus more on ‘The Crown’ and that doyen of all things soooo hot right now, Harry Styles, then you’d realise we’ve stumbled across peak Emsolation content. As you can no doubt imagine, having assembled THE perfect menu for Em and Michael to reflect on, most of this podcast will obviously be dominated by reflecting the Queen of Christmas returning to our TV screens. You’ll experience a full review from Em on ‘Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special’, mostly delivered without actually pausing for breath, so prepare yourself for a verbal tsunami of Diva inspired gushing. Then it’s onto Netflix’s refusal to acknowledge at the beginning of each episode of ‘The Crown’ that the series isn’t an actual documentary. That refusal has helped trigger a new round of hatred towards Camilla and Charles as they find themselves suddenly unpopular again as a result of the new seasons storyline. After we work through that, it’s onto the clusterfluff of relentless “What the actual WHAT!??!” that has been Rudy Guiliani over the last six weeks. Rudy has perfected his own brand of cray-cray and as a result we’ve been dragged through one of the most hectic rides we’ve ever witnessed...so naturally there’s a LOT to talk through. Finally, we see things out with the unending joy that is Harry Styles and his banana, which has inspired Michael to undertake the Harry Styles Banana Photo Challenge. That probably deserves an explanation...but also NOT giving you an explanation OR any context before you see the end result of all Michael’s banana wrangling (as presented in living colour with Em Rusciano approved insta filters attached) is waaaay more fun, hence we’ll be going with that. So grab your headphones, find your favourite space to let your giggles out, and have at the hilarity within, now with an added bonus photographic challenge for you to enjoy once you’re done as well...so many gifts to share hehe.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 41 min
    A very Melania Christmas

    A very Melania Christmas

    It’s the final year of the Trump administration living large at the White House, which also means it’s the final year of Melania doing the White House Christmas decorations. Thanks to a bit of leaked audio recorded by a former BFF of Melania, we know she doesn’t “give a f*** about Christmas stuff and decorating. But I need to do it right?”, yes, yes you do Melania. Hence she’s no doubt been showing off her lack of f***s by decking the halls with a variety of weird options, from a forest of 40 blood red Christmas trees, that looked like they’d been the victim of a Carrie style prom night prank, to hallways lined with dead branches, all painted stark white, then shoved into giant white pot plants. So for her final effort, Em was kind of hoping Melania would go for more of a gothic, emo expression with her festive festooning, just as her final f**k you to Americans, sadly she’s gone very traditional with her “America the beautiful” theming. Em and Michael also need to chat about Tara Reid approaching Nicole Kidman via the Instagram comments section on a post by our original BMX Bandit. Seems Tara is on the hustle for actors to appear in a new film she’s producing that revolves around drugging the attendees of a kids party with magic mushrooms, as you do. Rather than bother with agents, and her people talking to their people, Tara seems to have figured, pffft as if, I’m just gonna hit up Nicole Kidman in the comments section of that picture she just casually posted on the ‘gram. At the time of recording, we were still unsure if Nicole had responded yet, Tara and the rest of us, will probably be waiting for a very long time on that reply. Convo’s around Nicole Kidman naturally usher in discussions about whether it is okay or not, to be commenting on Nicole’s face. Naturally, Em would usually say “NO we just don’t comment on the way a woman looks” but she also found Nicole's face was actually distracting at times whilst watching her star in ‘The Undoing’. So prepare yourself for some yuletide yawning, a what the actual what moment of Tara Reid realness, and a tentative talk about how to freeze a face for all eternity, so standard Emsolation action really.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 36 min
    Michael talks smack about Carols in the domain.

    Michael talks smack about Carols in the domain.

    While we’ve been serving lockdown realness from our lounge rooms, our lady and saviour Dolly Parton has been busy. Not only has she used a stack of her millions to help fund the development of a Covid vaccine, she’s also just casually composed, co-produced and performed in a Christmas movie musical. So naturally Em and Michael will be spending a large portion of this episode deep diving into the seasonal wonder that is the Netflix movie ‘Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square’. To start we’ll need to talk about the outfits, we also need to talk about how Dolly is a VERY sparkly, glamourous, homeless woman, but...she’s Dolly, so as if she isn’t going to be Dolly. Christine Baranski is amazing as Lady Scrooge, but we need to state for the podcast record that Em is quoted as describing it as “really bad, it’s bad, but it’s so bad, it’s good, it really is in that realm”. Em and Michael’s excitement about Mariah Carey’s upcoming Christmas special needs to be reflected too. Speaking of being in Santa season, Michael feels that everyone’s been very eager to put up their Christmas decorations this year, something Em helped confirm when she dropped her “Jason Momoa in a Sparkly Leotard” Christmas extravaganza the previous week. There’s also Rhonda Burchmore being omitted from performing at Carols by Candlelight and how much they loved that she publicly called them out about the snub. Then Michael takes a moment to talk a lot of smack about Carols in the Domain, because he feels that Carols by Candlelight is vastly superior. So secure the drip guard around the base of that lit candle, grab a bag of festively tainted popcorn, and settle in for all that tea to be spilt. Then we talk about the brand new Shawn Mendes documentary that left Em feeling largely underwhelmed, her take away being “he’s clearly a young man who’s just terrified all the time”. Sadly it wasn’t a great rockumentary, especially when you compare it to the benchmark that Madonna set when she released her groundbreaking ‘Truth or Dare’/’In Bed with Madonna’ doco. To see us out Em has an announcement about how Drake should absolutely never play Barack Obama, so secure those headphones of yours over your listen holes or hit the volume on your speakers and get some Emsolation happening.  

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 35 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
22 Ratings

22 Ratings

Lin Michelle ,

Amazing

I have to say I have been binge listening to the podcast for the last few days and i am loving it! Episode 46 really resonated with me on so many levels, I have to “ground myself” go outside and sit/lay on the ground on this crazyness that is going on all around the world.

Thank you both for being real and sharing your lives with us!

Lindsay

Kikilonnie89 ,

Wonderful

These episodes are the highlight of my week! Em is like a pseudo mom that I can learn the nuisances of the world from! I have laughed so hard from the conversations between Em and Michael. I can not even express how much I LOVE this podcast. Just listen to it.

DRL9602 ,

Wonderfully real

I have followed Em from the states for years...I love her because she is so real and funny!!! Her dress up dinner with her family are greatness!! Look forward to this!

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