61 episodes

Welcome to Back from the Borderline: the podcast that helps anyone who identifies with symptoms of borderline personality disorder overcome their biggest obstacle: themselves.
My name is Mollie, and it's my mission to help you break free from your self-limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviors, so you can more deeply connect with yourself, other people, and the present moment. Many people identify with the symptoms and traits of borderline personality disorder. Sadly, a quick Google search returns thousands of "resources" on BPD and EUPD that insinuate that recovery is impossible and that people with these "disorders" are manipulative and incapable of intimacy or leading happy lives. None of this is true.
 
Through weekly solo and guest episodes with a unique blend of philosophy, spirituality, and depth psychology, you'll learn why I no longer believe anyone's personality is inherently "disordered." As a regular listener, you'll start to view yourself and the idea of mental health disorders in an entirely new way. You'll begin to realize that you are not broken or unfixable. You'll learn how to harness and connect with your big feelings and disrupt the toxic cycles of reactivity and chaos that are keeping you stuck, miserable, and disconnected. 
 
Together, we will change. Together, we will grow. You don't have to do this alone anymore. I'll be here in your ear as we walk the path of recovery side by side. Once you join me, you’ll realize that anyone – including you – can come back from the borderline.

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Back From The Borderline Mollie

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.9 • 168 Ratings

Welcome to Back from the Borderline: the podcast that helps anyone who identifies with symptoms of borderline personality disorder overcome their biggest obstacle: themselves.
My name is Mollie, and it's my mission to help you break free from your self-limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviors, so you can more deeply connect with yourself, other people, and the present moment. Many people identify with the symptoms and traits of borderline personality disorder. Sadly, a quick Google search returns thousands of "resources" on BPD and EUPD that insinuate that recovery is impossible and that people with these "disorders" are manipulative and incapable of intimacy or leading happy lives. None of this is true.
 
Through weekly solo and guest episodes with a unique blend of philosophy, spirituality, and depth psychology, you'll learn why I no longer believe anyone's personality is inherently "disordered." As a regular listener, you'll start to view yourself and the idea of mental health disorders in an entirely new way. You'll begin to realize that you are not broken or unfixable. You'll learn how to harness and connect with your big feelings and disrupt the toxic cycles of reactivity and chaos that are keeping you stuck, miserable, and disconnected. 
 
Together, we will change. Together, we will grow. You don't have to do this alone anymore. I'll be here in your ear as we walk the path of recovery side by side. Once you join me, you’ll realize that anyone – including you – can come back from the borderline.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Become a premium subscriber at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline

    Helping someone with BPD traits (the best advice for loved ones and families)

    Helping someone with BPD traits (the best advice for loved ones and families)

    Coping with traits of borderline personality disorder can be exhausting for both the person experiencing them and those who love them. Splitting episodes, black and white thinking, and extreme emotional dysregulation can make it difficult to form and nurture intimate relationships.
     
    Many online resources advise friends and loved ones of those with BPD (EUPD) traits to cut ties or avoid relationships with these individuals altogether – citing that “borderlines” are toxic and incapable of love. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
     
    Can BPD traits and trauma make navigating intimacy? Sure. There’s no denying that. However, if both the person who identifies with BPD and their loved one(s) are open to developing deeper senses of self-awareness and are willing to learn new skills, deep and meaningful relationships can be nurtured.
     
    At the beginning of my recovery journey, I wished there was more content like this so that I could listen to it with my partner and family. It can be tough to put your intense feelings into words. I understand. I’ve been there. I hope this episode can become a helpful (and healing) bridge for individuals who identify with BPD and their loved ones.
     
    ​​💡 Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:
    ■ Understanding how childhood trauma can trigger borderline personality disorder and how this may have meant that your loved one did not learn the skills to self-soothe and become ultra-sensitive to rejection
    ■ Recognizing BPD triggers and providing validation (how not to get caught up in the “what’s” and “why’s” and instead learn to help your loved one feel SAFE)
    ■ Utilizing “behavior chain analysis” skills from DBT to help your loved one get into “wise mind”
    ■ Developing “crisis plans” to use during BPD episodes and learning to “assess vulnerabilities” to prevent episodes from happening in the first place
    ■ Understanding the role of the “inner critic” in BPD (dealing with self-hatred and shame)  
    ■ How to better and more effectively communicate with someone who has BPD
    ■ The role family and loved ones can play in therapy and treatment for BPD
    ■ Journaling prompts for loved ones of people with BPD traits
     
    📝Recommended resources: 
    ■ Supporting Loved One with BPD: Quickstart Guide (full YouTube video by clinical psychotherapist Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes)
    ■ Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes’ website: https://www.docsnipes.com/
     
    Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. 
     
    🔐Premium subscribers unlock my private podcast feed and gain instant access to full episodes and hours of exclusive bonus content with additional resources. Click the link at the bottom to learn more. ↓

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    • 1 hr 20 min
    Abusive friendships, men with BPD, and books I’m reading

    Abusive friendships, men with BPD, and books I’m reading

    In this laidback episode, I answer a few listener voicemails. We discuss tough topics like trauma-bonded friendships, why so many more women are diagnosed with BPD than men, and I share some books I’ve been reading lately that have contributed positively to my recovery journey.
    ​​💡 Questions answered in this episode:
    ■ How to recognize if you’re in an abusive or toxic friendship
    ■ Uncovering trauma bonding and love bombing in friendships
    ■ What is intermittent reinforcement in relationships?
    ■ Why borderline personality disorder is more common in women than men (gender differences in BPD)
    📝Recommended resources: 
    ■ (Soft White Underbelly Interview) Borderline Personality Disorder Woman – Shawna
     
    📚 Book recommendations:
     
    ■ What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D Perry and Oprah Winfrey
    ■ The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
    ■ Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab
    ■ Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor
    ■ Bringing Home the Dharma: Awakening Right Where You Are by Jack Kornfield and Daniel J. Siegel
    ■ Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brene Brown
    ■ A Life of Meaning: Exploring Our Deepest Questions and Motivations by James Hollis
    ■ Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live by Martha Beck
    ■ Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds by Thomas Hübel
    Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. 
     
    🔐Premium subscribers unlock my private podcast feed and gain instant access to full episodes and hours of exclusive bonus content with additional resources. Click the link at the bottom to learn more. ↓

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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    • 1 hr 35 min
    The hidden spiritual gifts buried beneath your BPD traits (ft. Dr. Lisa Miller)

    The hidden spiritual gifts buried beneath your BPD traits (ft. Dr. Lisa Miller)

    Do people who identify with symptoms of what is known as borderline personality disorder have a unique ability to connect to the transcendent? Are chronic feelings of emptiness less about being “disordered” and more about being spiritually starved? My guest on this episode, Dr. Lisa Miller, seems to think so.
     
    Lisa Miller has devoted her career to scientific research proving that spirituality is a natural aspect of our humanity and that our brains become more resilient and robust because of it. We are each born with an innate desire to question the world around us in search of something more.
     
    A leading generational psychologist on the benefits of spirituality, Lisa graduated from Yale University and the University of Pennsylvania, earning her doctorate in psychology. She is currently a professor of psychology and education at Teachers College, Columbia University, and the Founder and Director of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute, the first Ivy League graduate program and research institute in spirituality and psychology.
     
    In her book The Awakened Brain, Dr. Miller uses science to show that spirituality (different from religious belief) is one of the strongest protective factors against psychological suffering. Her research clearly shows that our physiological development presents us with occasional moments of crisis at certain times in our lives. When we meet those moments of crisis and trauma from a spiritual perspective, we are more protected against psychological suffering in later life stages. Dr. Miller believes that healing from trauma requires bringing greater awareness to the signs and lessons that the universe has for us and bringing those lessons into the future without getting stuck in rumination over the past.
     
    ​​💡 Questions answered in this episode:
     
    ■ The unexpected gifts inside the traits of borderline personality disorder (BPD / EUPD)
    ■ BPD and the importance of spirituality
    ■ Benefits of spirituality in recovery from trauma
    ■ How our current “me-centered” culture in the West (particularly in the US) is keeping us stuck – and sick
    ■ Lisa’s view on the future of mental health and personality disorder diagnoses
     
    📝Recommended resources: 
     
    ■ Lisa’s website (where you can find links to her books and work) - https://www.lisamillerphd.com/  
     
    Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. 
     
    ❤️Are you ready to take your recovery to master-class level and join the BFTB inner circle?
     
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    • 1 hr 5 min
    Let's take an online BPD quiz together and discuss the diagnosis process

    Let's take an online BPD quiz together and discuss the diagnosis process

    This is the second in my “BPD Shorties” series where I tackle some of the most commonly asked questions about borderline personality disorder. I remember when I first found out about BPD and felt like the symptoms described what I was going through, I went straight to Google to find a quiz or test that would tell me whether or not I “had it.” In today’s episode, we’ll take a PychCentral quiz together titled: “borderline personality disorder test.” We’ll also discuss how BPD (EUPD) is formally diagnosed and what types of licensed mental health providers are qualified to do so. 
    ​​💡 Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode: 
    ■ Why so many of us end up typing the phrase “do I have BPD quiz” into Google
    ■ Can an online quiz or test determine whether or not you have a personality disorder? 
    ■ How to treat a person with BPD (EUPD)
    ■ How to get a BPD diagnosis (the pros and cons of taking this path) 
    ■ What types of licensed mental health providers are qualified to formally diagnose someone with BPD
    ■ Questions to ask your therapist to help determine if they are a good fit for you and are up-to-date on current research of personality disorders 
    📝Recommended resources: 
    ■ Borderline Personality Disorder Test (PsychCentral) 
    Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. 
    ❤️Are you ready to take your recovery to master-class level and join the BFTB inner circle?
     
    🔐Premium subscribers unlock my private podcast feed and gain instant access to full episodes and hours of exclusive bonus content with additional resources. Click the link at the bottom to learn more. ↓

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    Become a premium subscriber at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

    • 20 min
    Reflections on relationships, social media detoxes, and, feeling toxic AF

    Reflections on relationships, social media detoxes, and, feeling toxic AF

    This episode gives big sitting-down-for-coffee-with-your-big-sister-for-a-heart-to-heart energy. Together, we'll discuss social media and its impact on BPD symptoms, discussing BPD with your family, how to heal after rushing into new relationships too quickly, and the inevitable post-honeymoon phase crash.
    ​​💡 Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:
    ■ The impact social media usage has on BPD symptoms (and the reason behind my current digital detox) 
    ■ How my views have changed regarding getting a BPD diagnosis (and why I no longer take psychiatrists' word as the "gospel truth" and encourage anyone to get a second opinion after getting any psychiatric diagnosis)
    ■ How to find and interview a BPD therapist (questions I ask mental health professionals to see if they're a good fit for me)
    ■ How to do a social media detox the right way (without splitting)
    ■ Tips on cleansing your social media feeds (that actually work)
    ■ Telling parents you have BPD (should you do it, and how should you approach these conversations?) 
    ■ Tips for managing BPD symptoms in new relationships (why it can sometimes feel like BPD relationships never work)
    ■ When love becomes an addiction: limerence and borderline personality disorder symptoms (is there a link?) 
    To access the second half of this episode, where I dive even more deeply into limerence and its connection to BPD symptoms, you’ll need to become a premium subscriber. Click the link at the bottom of the description of this episode to learn more.
    📝Recommended and mentioned resources: 
    ■ The Blindboy Podcast - Speaking to a Cyberpsychologist about the psychology of online behaviour
    ■ Article - "What is Limerence? 5 Signs You're Experiencing It (Not Love)"
    ■ My menstrual cycle awareness episode titled "Everything your mom never told you about your period (little-known PMS hacks)"
    ■ Book - "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" by Kristin Neff
    Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. 
    ❤️Are you ready to take your recovery to master-class level and join the BFTB inner circle?
     
    🔐Premium subscribers unlock my private podcast feed and gain instant access to full episodes and hours of exclusive bonus content with additional resources. Click the link at the bottom to learn more. ↓

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
    Become a premium subscriber at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

    • 1 hr 13 min
    What Causes BPD?

    What Causes BPD?

    This is the first in my “BPD Shorties” series where I tackle some of the most commonly asked questions about borderline personality disorder. Often, when someone first discovers that they identify with the symptoms of BPD or are struggling to come to terms with a new diagnosis, they find themselves wondering about the cause. It's only natural to wonder why we ended up experiencing these painful symptoms that can make us feel like life is nearly impossible to bear. In this mini-episode, I’ll attempt to tackle this extremely complex and nuanced question with some of the most up-to-date research and my own personal experience. 
    ​​💡 Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode: 
    ■ What causes BPD? 
    ■ Does BPD develop or are you born with it? 
    ■ What kind of trauma causes development of BPD symptoms 
    ■ The various factors that contribute to BPD development (temperamental and environmental) 
    ■ The role trauma plays in BPD development (sexual abuse, physical, verbal and emotional abuse, neglect and bullying) 
    📝Recommended resources: 
    ■ 2021 Frontiers in Psychiatry Article - The Role of Trauma in Early Onset Borderline Personality Disorder: A Biopsychosocial Perspective
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    Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. 
    ❤️Are you ready to take your recovery to master-class level and join the BFTB inner circle?
     
    🔐Premium subscribers unlock my private podcast feed and gain instant access to full episodes and hours of exclusive bonus content with additional resources. Click the link at the bottom to learn more. ↓

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
    Become a premium subscriber at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

    • 27 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
168 Ratings

168 Ratings

Belhavenite ,

Necessary good

I need it. You need it. If we are here looking for this there is no better resource. I have found then the soothing stories of folks who have gone through so much of the same stuff I have. A world with BPD can feel very isolating, confusing and scary. This podcast has been a balm for my soul well into my 30s.

fdshhvkoyrsvvh ,

Good info, a bit heavy on the spin

I definitely appreciate that a bpd podcast exists. It’s well researched, covers a wide range of topics, comes out regularly, is very grounded and not over dramatic or overly coddling. There’s a lot to be said for that.

But as much as I’m in this phase where all I want to do is absorb all information that exists about bpd, this podcast is a bit difficult for me to listen to because she spends SO much time talking about her opinions.

I understand that she doesn’t want the bpd diagnosis to exist, even though the existence of the diagnosis is what brought us all together and why she has a podcast in the first place. And I get that she doesn’t believe people can have a disordered personality, although I think I have a heavily disordered personality and I’m fine with it. To each their own.

But some people, me included, found unbelievable relief in the bpd diagnosis. When I discovered it, started doing research on it, connecting with communities and was finally diagnosed, it was the first time in my almost forty years of life that I’ve ever felt seen, that any of the chaos that I’d lived made any sort of sense. I couldn’t be more grateful that the label exists and that there is so much information, resources and community around it.

I get that a lot of people have been harmed by the stigma. I appreciate that I’m fortunate not to have been because I was really well informed about this world and knew how to navigate it before jumping into it. And maybe someday they will change how they refer to people with bpd traits and my new label will be some combo of adhd, autism and c-ptsd or something. Aces.

But I don’t think we need to turn on the label that so many people find comfort in, feel seen by, has legitimate treatments associated with it that really work, and helps us find one another because the stigma is so bad. I have no idea who I am, my personality and moods and relationships are in disorder, it’s okay.

It’s not a crime to have different opinions. Hers is hard won and I respect that. I just would have an easier time listening if she didn’t spend SO much time talking about them and put a little more emphasis on factual information, because her perspective just doesn’t reflect my experience.

At the end of the day we all want the same thing- education that fights against the ignorance and stigma that harms so many people with bpd, we just have different perspectives on how to get there. I think it’s the stigma that we should be fighting with research and education and I don’t think that requires putting a useful diagnosis out to pasture. But she’s out there every day working towards our shared goal of a world that doesn’t hate on people with bpd so much, and I’m just here writing a review on apple podcasts, so what do I know.

Regardless of our differences she’s contributing to a world where people are less harmed by the stigma of bpd and I appreciate that. It takes a lot of guts to come out publicly as having bpd and even more to dedicate your life to talking about it and we’re lucky to have her in our corner. Maybe there’s a happy medium in there somewhere.

Sm00thM0ve ,

Mind Blown

I cannot express enough how this podcast has truly opened my eyes to BPD and the struggles i constantly deal with. I was diagnosed last year and had no idea what it was, i did my research, i have a therapist that helps, im starting DBT in a month but little over 2 months ago i found this podcast and i am blown away by the accuracy. It has helped me so much in my times of struggle when i feel myself splitting, becoming impulsive and/ or really just not understanding my feelings at all. Looking for deeper understanding, knowledge, advice and just knowing I’m not alone in this is so refreshing. Mollie you are an amazing soul, thank you for being our voice!.

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