Idiots On Parade, the Too Ugly for TV Podcast Idiots On Parade

This week, Anthony Eugenio joins the idiots to mock all that’s in the news.



00:00 Welcome!

01:06 Iran Gets Frisky

11:33 Christians vs. The Eclipse

17:13 Justice by Crime and Country

25:15 Catholics Double Down 

30:17 Obesity in America



The breakdown: 



—Hamas attacks Israel. Israel whomps the unholy hell out of the Gaza Strip. Iran thinks that’s no bueno, arms Hezbollah. Israel says, “Oh, F-you,” and bombs the Iranian Embassy in Syria, killing one of Iran’s biggest douchebags, Brigadier General Mohammad Reza Zahedi, and other Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) commanders… and now, Iran has launched a drone attack on Israel. What’s next? I suppose that’s what we’re about to find out…



—I wish, I wish, I wish I could find a legitimate source for this next story. According to Reddit—noted home of QAnon and various other wonderful conspiracies—a Christian woman who believed the eclipse was a sign the rapture was upon us, went to a restaurant and tipped generously. And not “50%” generously, several hundred dollars on a $40 bill generous. Aaaaaand, when the rapture didn’t happen, again, she went returned and demanded her money back. Because of course she did.



—Italy: come for the pasta, stay for the murder. Amanda Knox was in the news again, so nathan did a little digging… Did you know that Rudy Guede, the man who actually murdered Meredith Kercher, only got a 30-year prison sentence? Even better, he was released early, to finish his sentence doing community service. Seems they’re kinda light on crime there.



Meanwhile, over in Vietnam, Truong My Lan was sentenced to death for a white collar crime. Man, God bless Vietnam! Imagine if the U.S.A. had put to death all the douchenozzles behind the economic collapse in 2008?


(Or, for that matter, any economic collapse.)



—Oh, Catholicism… your numbers are shrinking, and every time people are asked why they’ve left the church, they say, “It’s 2024. People are gay. Get over it.” So, what did the church just do? Double down on their anti-LGBTQ rhetoric. 



But wait, there’s more!



They’ve added surrogacy to the list! Yes, if there’s one thing women love, it’s being told what they can and cannot do with their bodies.



—TikTok: it’s where stupid people go to “learn.” Well, anti-diet influencers started telling people to listen to their gut when it came to diet. Eat right and exercise? That’s for losers. Your body will tell you what you’re supposed to eat, and if it’s telling you candy bars and donuts? More power to ya!
Oh, and by the way, the food industry is backing these influencers, and you’re gonna gain weight and get fat if you listen to them.


Who could have seen this coming? Anyone with an IQ above that of your average potato(e).



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss



00:00 Welcome!

00:44 Eclipse

07:45 Trans Visibility Day

24:10 Oregon Drug Use

31:41 Amazon Grocery Store

35:33 Viewer Comment



The breakdown: 



—Who knew we were still living in the dark ages, where an eclipse would send the dumbest of the dumb into a tizzy? Sure, they’re tracked, which means we know exactly when and where they’re going to happen, but they’re also A SIGN FROM GOD THAT AMERICA IS A SINFUL COUNTRY!



—Who is stupider, Marjorie “Jewish Space Lasers” Greene, or the people who support and vote for her? Serious question, because she is just beyond dumb. Before she threw a fit over the eclipse, conservative commentators wet their pants and cried their eyes out because Trans Visibility Day fell on Easter. Most notably, Caitlyn Jenner joined in the chorus of idiots blaming Joe Biden for “declaring” Easter was Trans Visibility Day.



—Oregon voted to decriminalize all drugs. How did that work out for them? Not well. Who saw it coming? EVERYBODY.



—Amazon was going to revolutionize grocery shopping. You’d walk into a store, grab what you wanted, and walk out. AI and modern technology would keep track of everything and charge your Amazon account, easy-peasy. No clerks, no fuss, no muss. Except it never worked, and now they’re pulling the plug. Turns out, the “technology” was basically a big call center in India, with poorly-paid workers hunched over computer screens, watching footage of shoppers. 



—We respond to a troll who likes Trump more than reality.



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss



00:00 Welcome!

00:36 ISIS Attacks Russia

07:44 Francis Scott Key Bridge

16:16 Trump Bibles for Sale

27:41 Columbia Breaks up with Israel

29:02 Twitter Loses Lawsuit

32:53 Candice Owens Gets Fired



The breakdown: 



—Vladimir Putin wanted the ISIS attack on the Crocus City Hall attack in Moscow to be Ukraine so badly. He still wants Ukraine to be involved. We discuss the joys of living in a police state (dictatorship)—namely the ability to beat the unholy hell out of captured terrorists—as well as the downside—state controlled media. 



—Six people lost their lives when the Francis Scott Key bridge in Baltimore, Maryland. That tragedy should give people pause to reflect and discuss the event with respectful tones, right? Ha! Not when conservatives (as well as insane people, like Alex Jones and Kevin Sorbo) are involved. Tragedies are meant to be twisted, don’t ‘cha know? What really caused the Dali to hit the bridge? Nothing being spewed by Fox News, that’s for sure.



(Side note: the idiots also discuss the stupidest of the stupid among us, QAnon believers, and how they believe conspiracies over the truth every single time.)



—The Idiots love Donald Trump. That’s all there is to it. Imagine how beautiful it would be to have insanely loyal followers like he does. He said it himself: he could shoot someone, and his followers wouldn’t bat an eye. And now he’s selling the dumbest of the dumb bibles.



—Columbia is done with Israel. Did they break off diplomatic ties? Nah, Columbian president  Gustavo Petro sent a Tweet. Well done, Gustavo.



—Speaking of Twitter, Elon Musk just lost an obvious lawsuit. He’s a champion for free speech, which is fine, but you can’t be both a champion of free speech, and cry foul when it’s pointed out that hate speech increased under your watch. When you allow the worst of the worst to spew their stupid on Twitter, don’t be surprised when you’re called out. Elon tried to sue the Center for Countering Digital Hate, and because facts matter (sometimes), the case was tossed. Go justice.



—What kind of world do we live in where two hate-filled people can’t get along and hate together? Ben Shapiro and Candice Owens are perfect together on paper. So, Ben hired Candice to spread garbage on his garbage site, The Daily Wire, but for reasons unknown to the outside world, they couldn’t make it work. Oh well.



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss



00:00 The Supreme Court, Immigration

06:28 The Supreme Court, Cowboys for Trump

09:55 Princess Kate follow up

11:44 Trump Takes Over the RNC

18:14 Insurance in the USA

27:16 Julia Reel vs. The Hubbard Inn

35:18 Student Debt Forgiveness & Ozempic Babies



The breakdown: 



—The Supreme Court let a lower court’s ruling stand, stating Texas could act independent of the federal government, and deal with immigrants crossing their border. This caused a second lower court to say, “No, Texas can’t!” which means it’s gonna get kicked back up to SCOTUS. Meanwhile, Republicans continue to run on the border problem, which they could have ended, had they voted for the border bill they wrote. It’s quite fascinating.



—Couy Griffin, a New Mexico resident who founded “Cowboys for Trump,” was kicked off a ballot for public office. “But SCOTUS said Trump couldn’t be kicked off ballots!” he argued. True, but Trump wasn’t convicted of being involved in an insurrection. Griffin was. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy.



—Well, we certainly hope that everyone involved with freaking out about Princess Kate being MIA feels bad right now. The poor woman (mom) has cancer. Leave her be, why don’t ya?



—This is pretty amazing: Donald Trump is being honest. He’s taken over the RNC, and is now openly telling donors that their money will first be put to use paying his legal bills… and THEN used to get Republicans elected to office. And yet, people still throw money at him, the “billionaire.” Amazing.



(Side discussions of the idiotic Republican impeachment hearings against Biden take place here.)



—Insurance giant State Farm is going to stop insuring some homes in California. Other insurance companies don’t cover squat in Florida. Yeah, that’s insurance. They want to take your money, and they don’t want to pay out. So if you live in a (say it with me) high risk area, they’re either going to charge you massive premiums, or not cover you. That’s the game.



(Side discussions of Don Lemon interviewing Elon Musk take place here.)



—Julia Reel got kicked out of the Hubbard Inn (a Chicago based bar & restaurant), and wasn’t happy about it. She went on TikTok, made a video claiming she’d been thrown down the stairs, and it went viral. Well, “Not so fast,” said the Hubbard Inn, and then posted security footage of their staff being completely respectful to the newly nicknamed “Julia Smollett.” The Hubbard Inn is fighting back with a lawsuit against Julia. Can’t wait to see how it plays out.



—And in closing… More student debt is being forgiven, and women supposedly on birth control are getting pregnant if they take Ozempic.



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss:



00:00 Princess Catherine 

08:41 James and Jennifer Crumbly are guilty

21:57 Fani Willis 

28:23 COVID vaccinations and political parties

34:57 Aaron Bushnell



The breakdown: 



—Princess Catherine, is she alive, is she dead? Who knows? The Shadow? Who knew a simple photoshop could turn into a massive, silly and stupid scandal. And most importantly, why in God’s name does anyone care? 



—Hopefully we’re making headway when it comes to gun violence. Who is responsible for raising a garbage kid? The parents. Well, now two parents in Michigan, the parents of Ethan Robert Crumbley, have been found guilty of involuntary manslaughter. Good.



(Side discussions of Alex Jones, Kanye West, and Cardi B take place here.)



—Trump is on trial in Georgia, and though he’s guilty, guilty, guilty, focus was taken off the case because Fani Willis and Nathan Wade couldn’t not get naked with one another.



—Republicans are dying from COVID at a much higher rate than Democrats. Why? Because they believe the vaccinations are full of microchips, blood clotting agents, and whatever else they’ve been told to believe by Newsmax, Fox, and OAN. It’s pretty funny, actually.



(Side discussions of Trump flip-flopping on banning TikTok here.)



—Want to protest something? Light yourself on fire! Will your idiot move change anything? Nope! But hey, maybe you’ll get a street named after you! Winning!



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots discuss



00:00 President Biden’s State of the Union address, as well as the insane response by Kate Britt.

08:53 A German fella decided to get the COVID vaccine 217 times. He needs a new hobby.

13:30 Liberal cities are finally tackling crime… in an election year. Shocking!

18:26 Immigration… Republicans tanked a bill they wrote. Why?

22:22 Marjorie Taylor Greene, one of the dumbest people on the planet, is also a hypocrite. Shocking!

30:35 A Texas mom is in trouble, but should she be?

34:04 Madonna: just how weak is her ego?



Specific discussions include:



—The unhinged fears of the left and right. Conservatives freak out over immigration, but don’t seem to care about gun violence, or women’s reproductive rights. 



At the same time, liberals are so concerned with language use, idiots like Ilham Omar started crying the instant Biden used the term “illegal alien” (or immigrant, I forget) to describe an illegal immigrant.



(Even worse, social media algorithms fear language of all sorts.)



—If the COVID vaccination is so deadly, then why is the German fella who took it nonstop for two years fine ’n’ dandy?



—Jake is suspicious, and probably right. New York City and San Francisco are both changing their ineffective stances on crime. Is it because they’ve finally realized that letting criminals run riot doesn’t work for anyone, or is it because it’s an election year, and Democrats know they’re gonna get hammered on crime?
(Even though rates everywhere (except Oakland, CA) are declining.)



—Immigration: Republicans demanded a border bill. Then they wrote one. Democrats said, “We’ll vote for it!” and Biden said, “I’ll sign it.” So, did Republicans pass it? Of course not. If they had, they couldn’t use immigration as a scare tactic and garner votes from dumb people.



—MTG… she tries to say reality is a conspiracy theory (“Election 2020 was stolen!”) while propping up the most outlandish, hateful, anti-semitic conspiracies herself. And when confronted? She lashes out. Because that’s what horrible people do.



—Is Jennifer Lynn Rossi a great mom, or a dumb one? She exacted revenge on her son’s bully, and in a clever way. But the story is vague… We’ll explain how/why.



—Madonna… instead of allowing people to enjoy her concert in their own way, she has to ask why one person is sitting down, only to discover the person is in a wheelchair.



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com