In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, we sit down with trauma therapist and coach Fanny Tristan for a powerful conversation about what it really costs to be "the strong one." Fanny shares her story as a firstborn daughter, the child of Afro-Peruvian immigrants, and someone who grew up navigating mental illness, code-switching, and high expectations. We talk about how perfectionism and over-functioning get baked in early, how race and gender shape our roles in family systems, and what it takes to stop centering our lives around being chosen. This episode is a deep dive into patriarchy, healing, and the ways women—especially women of color—are taught to carry responsibility for everything, even their own pain. Fanny names the harm, but she also shows us the path forward. Whether you are partnered or single, a mother or not, this conversation is an invitation to unlearn the rules that kept you small and start choosing yourself. In this episode, we explore: Birth order and the unspoken contract of being firstSinglehood as freedom, not failureWhy women are expected to absorb pain and solve it tooThe pressure to settle and the power in saying noWhat real community looks like beyond romantic validationThe role of travel, sisterhood, and coaching in breaking cyclesFanny’s work is not about fixing you. It is about helping you reclaim what was always yours. Your voice. Your worth. Your time. Guest Bio Fanny Tristan is a licensed trauma therapist, social worker, coach, and founder of Her Soul Supply, a wellness collective dedicated to helping single Black and Brown women reclaim their worth, restore their energy, and live on their own terms. With over 15 years of clinical experience, Fanny brings a trauma-informed, culturally grounded, and liberation-focused lens to everything she offers. She works at the intersection of emotional healing, identity, and systems—helping women unpack perfectionism, set boundaries without guilt, and stop performing to be chosen. Her work speaks especially to high-functioning daughters of color who have spent years carrying the emotional weight of others while deprioritizing themselves. Through therapy, coaching, and international retreats, Fanny supports women in shedding the roles they were taught to play and stepping into self-defined freedom. Offerings Mentioned in the Episode : 🔹 Single, Empowered, and Free A live monthly workshop designed for single women of color to explore how patriarchy, family systems, and cultural messaging have shaped their sense of worth. Fanny breaks down these systems and helps participants begin to unlearn the patterns keeping them stuck. Sign up: hersoulsupply.com/workshops Instagram: @hersoulsupply
