In My Humble Opinion In My Humble Opinion Talk Show

Charles Lewis: Welcome to First Person Cville, the podcast. I'm Charles Lewis, your host, and also the co-host of In My Humble Opinion, from 101.3 FM.
Marian Dixon was born in Charlottesville. At 80 years old, her wisdom and insights are an inspiration—even if her experiences haven’t always been uplifting. See, Marian knows about intense grief.

Marian Dixon: Everybody has their own way of grieving. Some people can get over it faster than others and some of it takes a long time to do. It affects you both mentally and physically. It really does.

Charles Lewis: When Marian was just 19 years old, her infant daughter Varinia suddenly died.

Marian Dixon: It was just a shock, you know, to play with your baby, nurse her, and then go back to get her up and she's gone. I hadn't cried through our daughter's death. I hadn't cried through making arrangements, the funeral, the burial, none of it. I had not cried. I went from them telling me she was gone into this -- the best I can explain it -- it was like I was in this room inside of a room, and it was like I could see everything going on around me and what everybody was doing, but I was not a part of that. I was just in limbo. I was just there. I wasn't hurting anybody. I just wasn't functioning. I had been going through what they classified massive depression for a while it had been, I guess, a couple of months. And I was standing at the window in my glass box, my invisible glass box, looking out the window. And our oldest daughter, she came into the house and I was standing and she grabbed me by my dress. And she told me, “Mama, [daughter’s name?] is gone, but you still have us.” That was all she said. Which was really shocking to hear a six year old say that. And when she when she said that it was though someone just really hit me in my stomach and I start screaming and crying and I cried and cried. I don't know how long I cried A couple of hours. About two or 3 hours, I don't know. But I cried and cried and I could hear my mama say, “Just leave her alone. Let her get it out. Let her get it out.” And a couple of days after that, I was back to myself.

Charles Lewis: So what do you believe is the lesson in all of it? You know, especially when you think about I'm going through grief and depression to that to that level. Like, do you feel like there was a lesson to learn?

Marian Dixon: Not necessarily a lesson, but it's just something some time we have to go through. And it does make us stronger on the other side once you get through it. And it's been a lot of things that, as far as my family is concerned and the deaths in my family that I had to go through, but I was better equipped to accept them after going through what I did in the past. It makes it easier for you to deal with other things, especially if something else happens. That fear was there for a while, quite some time. And not realize that we don't have no control over how long a person lives or anything like that. Two years later, we had our middle son. And it was sort of like, we all spoiled him. We were thinking something was going to happen to him. So, we spoiled him. All of us did, is, you know, every time he went to sleep or anything like that is this is sisters and his brothers was looking at him to make sure he was all right, you know. But after that, after, you know, the fear left in that extra fear that was in the back of your mind and left after he began to grow and be with the rest of them.

Charles Lewis: Baby Varinia’s death wasn’t the only time that Marian would wrestle with grief. She’s also buried two of adult daughters—and her husband of 60 years. Marian admits that, even though she’s a woman of strong faith, she used to be angry with God.

Marian Dixon: I had to humble myself and ask for forgiveness. It was years later when our youngest daughter at that particular time died and I was angry with God. I mean, Rinia was a baby, you can kind of accept that that she was younger. Bu

Marian Dixon: A Story of Resilience and Hope in the Face of Grief

Charles Lewis: Welcome to First Person Cville, the podcast. I'm Charles Lewis, your host, and also the co-host of In My Humble Opinion, from 101.3 FM.
One night—while visiting a friend in New York City—photographer Marley Nichelle had a weird dream. 

Marley Nichelle: In the dream it was this woman telling me that I was a messenger. She said, You got to send out the message. And I was like, What message? Like? What is she talking about?

CL: The next morning, Marley didn’t have much to do. So they started going through their harddrive, organizing old photos.  

Marley Nichelle: And as I was going through all my photos, I was like, while I. I really got some nice portraits of a lot of Black people like we are not opposed, like and that's when it hit me. I said, that's it. And I realized my whole career I have been creating work that surrounds things that are not oppressive. And that's the message. 

CL: Marley decided to put together a photo essay to capture that message—in Marley’s own words, they wanted to “create a narrative of liberation and healing for communities of blackness by showing them power through language and visual arts.” And they called the series: “No, We Are Not Oppressed.” 

Charles Lewis: How have you used your camera to self liberate as well as liberate others?
 
Marley Nichelle: Through the stories I tell. As artists, it's our job to evoke emotions. I had to be taught that and not be afraid to. You know, tap to my emotions and how I'm feeling, because honestly, that is what helps me create the world. Liberating work is not just for people, it's for me too. And I feel like every artist should have a way to where they take their pain and trauma, their negatives, their bads, their pain, and make it something beautiful. It’s so important for me when I navigate through my emotions and my healing is like, how do I take these things and put it into art? And a lot of times when I have conversations with people just in Charlottesville, I hear, like I say, hearing people's stories is so heartbreaking and I'm so compassionate because I don't want people feeling that way. Like I don't want Black people here to feel like they can't thrive or they can't succeed because it's so oppressing. And it's like oppression is a mindset for real. It's really a mindset. Llike, when I realized that, I was like, okay, I feel like the easiest way to help people is through art. 
And I hate that my work only pertains, like a lot of people do tell me like, you only do work for Black people. I your work is just around like, so run around Black people only like why don't you, you know, have it diverse? And I'd be like, because this is a real life reality of my life. Like this is how I was raised, this is how I grew up. This is all I know. HBCU life, all of those things, like just being around blackness is all I know. I don't want to change that because I benefited from that. Like, I can go anywhere and know that I belong, especially with a camera, you know, and I want to just show other Black people, that too. And you can go anywhere and belong. And I get to tell those stories behind my lens, and that's why I create those liberating stories. And that to me is, is empowering because it's like, yes, figure it out. 
 
Charles Lewis: Now when you have you would people considered oppression In Charlottesville. How has it been different than what oppression may look like in the Gullah Geechee community?
 
Marley Nichelle: You know, this is why I always encourage people to leave away from home, because you get to see a different perspective of oppression. And when you live in Gullah culture, we really are self-sufficient culture like, land is important to us. Surviving is like we don't depend on anybody. You know. To provide for us. We just do we have a do it ourselves mentality. And so being raised like that and coming here, like a lot of times I would look at Black people and be like, Well, why don't you just d

Marley Nichelle wanted to “create a narrative of liberation and healing for communities of blackness by showing them power through language and visual arts.” And they called the series: “No, We Are Not Oppressed.”

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Charles Lewis: Welcome to First Person Cville, the podcast. I'm Charles Lewis, your host, and also the co-host of In My Humble Opinion, from 101.3 FM. Today's episode features India Sims, author of: “India Sims can do everything you can do — just sitting down.” India describes herself as “a woman in a wheelchair” and she wants you to know that she can speak for herself. 

Charles Lewis: When someone thinks of India Sims, what strengths come to mind? 

India Sims: That girl can do anything that she puts her mind to. Like if she says she's going to do it, she's going to find a way. She's a go getter. At the end of the day, my children, they don't see their mom as struggling. Right. Right. They see their mother as. Okay. Well, this is a goal. What–how she's going to overcome this today? So let's see! That's how they describe me, as a go getter. 

Charles Lewis: When she’s not fishing, swimming, skydiving, or bungee jumping, India is working to change how able bodied people treat disabled people. Her mission is to get the City of Charlottesville—and its residents—to recognize that wheelchair accessibility is just an everyday reality. But so far: no one is listening.

Charles Lewis: How do people interact with you when they see you? 

India Sims: Oh, lordy. So. First, when people see me, they look at me like I'm this foreign object like. Disrespectful. Walk past. No politeness at all. That's how they see me as just a creature. But when people. Talk to me and get to know me and I'll speak to them. They'd be like, “Oh! She can speak. Oh, she doesn't need help.” Then they start grasping who I am. And understanding a little bit that, “Oh. She's a human.”
 
Charles Lewis: So we know that that you and your husband are looking to purchase a home and touring them was a barrier. Can you explain what what issues you faced?

India Sims: So first of all, when I got approved, I explained to them that I was looking for a unique home because I'm the only disabled person or unique person in the house. And they were like, “Oh, that's fine. You know, you can come and look at some homes. You know, fine.” But when I went to go look at the home, I had to stay outside because it was all steps. There was no way for me to get in. So I called. Nobody answered. I blew the horn. Nobody answered. I'm like, “Okay.” Then somebody looked through the door and they were like, “Oh, can I help you?” And I was like, “Hi, I'm India.” And they were like, “Oh, hi, Come on in.” And I'm like, “You remember? I don't know who I spoke with, but you remember I told you I was, you know, in a wheelchair.” And they were like, “What do you want me to do about it?” Wow. And I said, “Excuse me?” And they was like, “There's steps here.” I said, “Well, I'm by myself. And y'all knew that I was by myself. Y'all help me.” “Oh, I can bring some blueprints to you.” I said, “You mean blueprints as paper?” And they were like, “Yeah.” They were like, “Well, you can figure it out that way.” I said, I would refuse to do that. And they were like, “Well, I don't know what else to tell you.” And they walked away.
 
Charles Lewis: So what would have been, in your opinion, the ideal response? 

India Sims: So the ideal response is, “Okay, this woman has a disability. There's going to be more people that may have disability. So let me figure a way before she gets here, let me figure a way for her to get into the building.” Whether it is to get a portable ramp or either have some people help me up there, I shouldn't have to have someone near me in order for somebody to understand me and to grasp that I need assistance on certain things. And I say key word: certain things. Right. Um, so that would have been the ideal. So they should have already been prepared for me to come there instead of wasting my time and disrespecting me. 
 
Charles Lewis: Talk about a time where you were denied accommodations o

India Sims, author of: “India Sims can do everything you can do — just sitting down.”