Infant and Child’s Sleep: A Process of Separation and Emotional Regulation Therapy on the Cutting Edge

In this episode, Angelique discusses her career as a sleep consultant for parents of newborns. She explained that she started off as a midwife, then a birth doula, and a post partum doula, and spent a great deal of time helping babies sleep through the night, and new families navigate the transition to parenthood. She explained that she saw sleep as a portal into multiple areas such as post partum depression, parent-infant bonding, and other aspects of the transition to parenthood. She found that there was not a great deal of research on the subject, only research focused on extinction or “cry it out” method of helping infants with sleep issues when she started in the field. She went to conferences, obtained a doctorate in psychology, and used her field work to develop an approach to helping children sleep, which she named the MIllette Method, which takes into account development, temperament, attachment, culture, and numerous other factors that play in to sleep and separation between caregiver and child. She talked about assessing the proximity of the parent to the child, range of crying, parental responsiveness, and charting these factors in order to develop a plan for the family. She discussed the “rinse and repeat” method where the parent will notice sleep signs, put the baby down, soothe them, step away, and then come back again after a little bit to continue soothing, then stepping away again. She explained that sleep is also a process of developing self regulation and the different self regulating behaviors that babies aquire as they develop. Angelique pointed out that the research is mixed on cosleeping or having the child sleep in another room, so it really depends on the family’s preferences, although early on, the rate of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is lower when the baby is sleeping in the room with the parents for the first six months. She discussed the interval method of sleep training, which allows for more crying, where there may be more crying, but isn’t used until the infant has a number of self soothing abilities. Lastly, she described her approach to helping toddlers and children falling asleep, using two phases. The first is based on her child psychology background, and using play activities to help parents and children practice separation, since separation is the key element of sleeping alone. Sometimes, that in itself leads to better sleep, but if not, she institutes the second phase where the parent sleeps in the child’s room for a few nights, and slowly moves out of the room after consecutive nights. She explained that the key element of separation that is inherent in helping infants and children sleep. ​

Angelique Millette, PhD, CLE, CD/PCD is a parent-child coach, pediatric sleep consultant, and family sleep researcher. Angelique’s diverse background includes training in child play, art, and nature therapies, child development and sleep, and work as a child psychologist. Her commitment to children and parents spans twenty-five years and she continues to develop programs to meet families “where they are at.” Her approach allows her to work with diverse communities both nationally and internationally. Angelique has developed The Millette Method™ a multi-disciplinary approach to family sleep and child behavior. The Millette Method™ does not follow one specific sleep or behavioral method, but rather uses a “tool-box” of different methods and approaches and takes into account various factors including child temperament and history, culture, family social support, access to nature/play, parental overwhelm, history of trauma, and parent/child mental health and wellness. Angelique has worked with more than 15,000 families, and presents professional workshops to non-profits, government agencies, Fortune 500 companies, universities, and parents groups across the country and internationally. She also consults with juvenile products manufactur