LAWK: Life Advice with Keon Keon Boozarjomehri

This is a collaboration with Sweating the Small Stuff! Please go listen to their episode "019 - The Social Trap" on Black Mirror's Smithereen. I make a guest appearance and it's a hoot!


Black Mirror is never a show to shy away from the horrific elements of technology. However, Season 5 Episode 2 titled "Smithereen" is one of the few episodes that focuses the "mirror" on something universally understood today. Social Media. The Company Smithereen is so similar to the social media of today that the parallels are obvious. But instead of making the comparisons dystopic, Black Mirror shows how the simplest intentions can ripple into tragic consequences.


By constantly refining the excitement and pleasure we feel from social media, Facebook and companies like it have created mental reliance. Like B.F. Skinner and his birds, Social media has trained us to have a positive learned response to our phones, that keeps us wanting more. Though the word "addiction" may be strong, people have become emotionally reliant on their phones. I myself find it hard to fight the quick glance at my phone during dull moments.


But it is not all doom and gloom. We can fight our reliance on Social media by making the separation between ourselves and our phone more concrete. Turn off your notifications. That way you will not receive the instant gratification of a satisfying ringtone.


Don't take your phone everywhere. If you are in your home, leave your phone in one room. Don't take it with you. That way you know where it is . If you need it, you can go to that specific room, use the phone and then return to what you were doing.


Finally, utilize mindfulness practices when you feel you're running on "autopilot". If you have taken your phone out for the 20th time just to check notifications and not actually check the time or google something you need. Then it's worth taking a moment and re-evaluating your mental state.


Phones are a tool, and I don't remember ever fighting the urge to check a hammer or screwdriver. Use your phone and social media as the means to connect you to people and not as a distraction from the important things in your life.


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Everyone is usually sorry for something. "Sorry I'm late" "Sorry you didn't like it" "Sorry for the inconvenience". It's easy to be sorry. But its hard, and much more rewarding, to be thankful.


The next time you want to use the word Sorry, try using the word Thank you. This will open up your brain to a whole world of reasons to be thankful. "Thank you for being patient" "Thank you for being honest" "Thank you for understanding". When you approach a situation positively, you not only are showing your gratitude to people, but you make people feel respected and valued.


There are situations that might require a "Sorry" such as creating an issue for someone. But by using "Thank you" instead, you are immediately assigning people an adjective. "Thank you for understanding" now that person is understanding and kind. "Thank you for being patient" now that person is patient. You are paying people a compliment and they are more likely to reciprocate that compliment then feel bad about the situation.


And when you show people your gratitude and approach any issue with a positive attitude you'll want to say Thank you, not Sorry.


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It's impossible to know where you'll be in 6 months. But you can help that future version of yourself today. We are often real jerks to our future selves because we treat them like a personal butler. Signing them up for things we don't want to deal with now: "I'll get to it later", "I'll do that next week", "Why should I worry about that now?" But like taxes, you will have to pay sooner or later.


To combat this form of time entitlement, you should start thinking like a good roommate to future you. If you're waiting by the door, take out the trash. If you're taking off your shoes, untie them, so they're ready to be put on later. If you can accomplish something small right now, get it done as quickly as possible. Your future self will thank you for it the same way you thank a roommate when they do something nice.


Sometimes our future selves get overwhelmed because it's easy to get ambitious. Signing up for a lot of things now feels good, because we all want to be more accomplished when we're older. But remember that future you is not a Superhero. They need rest and relaxation just like you do right now. So budget time for long breaks and doing nothing. Making time to recharge will help you be even more productive in the long run. And don't forget that saying NO to unimportant obligations is always an option.


Future you has a life outside of work, give them the tools and time they need to succeed.


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What do you value most? Possibility or possessions? That is the major difference between the three items you can own. And they all are based on levels of potential.


Money, for example, has infinite potential. With enough money, you can fund any project you'd like, make anything, or buy anything. But when you use it, it loses all of it's potential and becomes an item or a possession. These are things like decorations, trinkets, and toys. And once you have it, the potential is almost completely gone (unless you're very crafty).


However, there is a third level of potential that sits in between money and items. These are tools. Tools can help you achieve your goals without losing their future possibilities. On the contrary, by having effective tools, you are now more free to make your dreams come true.


And by combining all three types of potential, you can create art and products. For example, by having wood (an item/trinket) and a saw (a tool) you can craft a chair. And then you can use money (infinite potential) to ship that chair to a customer.


By using all three levels of potential you can effectively achieve you goals.


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How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. You can never practice enough. But the spark sets world champions apart from everyone else is their love of practice. Their love of the process and creation.


Think back to when you've done something you disliked. Think about how you felt before and after. Did your level of excitement remain constant? Chances are your excitement and passion decreased (quickly).


Now think about doing something you love to do. How excited do you feel just thinking about doing it? How passionate are you about getting back to work?


By creating and doing that activity, your brain cycles through a few feelings. Such as fulfillment, purpose, curiosity, amazement, pride, and many others. And these feelings help create a desire to keep going. To continue the process and move onto the next step.


By Creating something you love, the process becomes what is important, not the destination or the outcome.


Support LAWK: Life Advice with Keon by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/lawk-life-advice-with-keon


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The Internet and Social media are one of the most powerful tools ever created. Communication has never been easier. However that constant flow of information can sometimes feel like drinking out of a fire hydrant. There is so much information and it's easy to feel overwhelmed with the news and updates you're recieving.


Social media websites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are designed to make you stay on the site. They want your attention so they created THE FEED. "THE FEED" is the unlimited stream of information that you can mindlessly scroll through and see all the updates from celebrities, friends, family and news outlets. However this stream is meant to show you the exciting as well as the mundane. And all of the interesting and exciting content you see can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and self doubt.


The way to take control of the feed is to only use Social Media for the features you really like. If you only use facebook for messanger and Facebook stories, then try to distance yourself from the feed. If you only use Twitter for the news or updates on few people you're interested in, then unsubscribe from the other accounts that are not adding value to your life.


By focusing on how Social Media can benefit your life and function as a tool, you can take back control of your internet experience.


Support LAWK: Life Advice with Keon by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/lawk-life-advice-with-keon


Find out more on the LAWK: Life Advice with Keon website.


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