Leading with Genuine Care Rob Dube

"All the past and all the future are present in this moment." — Blake D. Bauer
 
Blake D. Bauer is the author of the international best-seller You Were Not Born To Suffer. A speaker and teacher, he has studied a wide range of modalities, including psychology, nutrition, traditional Chinese medicine, and past life regression therapy-hypnosis. All that Blake has learned started as a quest when he was 18 to simply find a way to stop the pain he was experiencing. He found his calling in helping others find optimal mental, physical and emotional health. 
 
When Blake was a senior in high school, he was co-captain of his football team. One night he'd partied a bit too hard and found himself with a DUI, ending his aspirations to play football in college. Blake withdrew from the world and woke up every morning wondering how to stop the suffering and pain. Eventually he found yoga and meditation, which he credits with saving his life. 
 
Learning to meditate was only the beginning. Looking back, Blake realized he had to create a space of unconditional acceptance, of self-love and how this applies to all aspects of life. You can't really truly love another until you learn to love yourself, Blake says. Meditation, where you quiet the mind and simply observe your thoughts, is a space where you can learn this. 
 
Blake also observes the lack of initiation rituals in our culture, pointing to his own experimentation with alcohol and drugs and getting arrested as a kind of unhealthy self-initiation. Blake grew up seeing people in his family, including his biological father, achieve success but lose it all because of substance abuse. When he realized he was following the same path, he became determined to make a different life for himself. While he's studied various fields relating to the health of the body and mind, he has found qi gong, a Chinese practice of movement, especially meaningful. Meditation continues to be the core practice he uses as well as teaches. 
 
When Blake was 24, he started pitching his book idea to publishers. He was rejected 100 times. He eventually self-published his book, which was later bought by a publisher and has become an international best seller. While he's pleased with its success, the lesson he learned by all those rejections was showing him that he was still looking for validation from outside himself. It was deciding for himself his ideas had value that made the difference. 
 
In this episode of Leading with Genuine Care, you’ll also learn:



Blake's approach to meditation  The key to a healthy relationship  The two questions Blake asked himself every day when trying to relieve his suffering  The superpower Blake didn't know he had  How loving yourself is the basis of all healing   
Connect With Blake D. Bauer 
 
Websites
Unconditional Self-Love
 
15 min meditation
https://vimeo.com/768757355
 
Meditation intro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOUxF8l9csc
 
LinkedIn
Blake D. Bauer on LinkedIn
 
Facebook
Blake D. Bauer
 
Instagram
Blake D. Bauer
 
Book
You Were Not Born To Suffer
 
The 2024 Do Nothing Retreat is open for registration
Join us from September 22-26 for The Do Nothing Leadership Retreat. The retreat offers business leaders, entrepreneurs, and those seeking a more mindful life the most rewarding challenge they may ever take — a leadership-focused mindfulness and meditation retreat.
Discover why meditation and mindfulness practices can positively impact your life. After slowing down, unplugging, and looking within, you’ll understand why presence and awareness are the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves and others.
 
 
 
Get Rob’s Newsletter
Never miss an inspiring conversation about compassionate, positive leadership on the Leading with Genuine Care podcast, plus other great articles and insights. https://robdube.com/contact
 
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"Relationships are where we receive the greatest fulfillment and the greatest challenge."  — Elysabeth Williamson



Today's guest is Elysabeth Williamson, a self-taught yoga teacher of 35 years who developed Principle-Based Partner Yoga,™ a system of yoga that focuses on relationship and connection with others. She also uses this work to encourage people to think and talk about death and dying as a way to live life more fully. She is the author of the award-winning book The Pleasures and Principles of Partner Yoga and is working on a second book, Becoming Fully Human: How Learning To Feel Saved My Life. 
 
Williamson had a challenging start in life, marked by a mother with mental illness and addictions. This, she says, brought her to seek out healing and understanding, noting "human suffering is the great equalizer." She believes that "we're born into a circumstance that our soul is choosing" and that her life's work has been to integrate her human self with the wisdom nature we are all born with. 
 
Williamson started doing yoga when she was 16. At that time, the 1970s, there were not many places to learn yoga. After playing and touring with a rock band fo several years, at the age of 28 she returned to yoga and started learning more. She says that for her, yoga was about reconnecting with her intuition, and that many of the movements were ones she'd been doing since childhood. As yoga became more popular, Williamson resisted the trend of "competitive" yoga and instead developed a teaching based around the principles of relationship, which became her partner yoga system.
 Rather than focusing on just the physical, Williamson's teaching is based on universal qualities of humanity and the idea that yoga can be used to help people get in touch with and cultivate more of these principles. 
 
Williamson also completed training as a hospice worker, which she found helped her to prepare for her mother's death. Though she ultimately concluded, based on witnessing her mother's death, that how we live is how we die, she was able to come to peace and forgiveness for her childhood. She brings what she's learned to her teachings, offering workshops where she challenges people to look at and talk about death and dying. Williamson notes that many traditions use meditations on death to come to a deeper awakening to life.
 
Williamson strives to create a safe and supportive space for people to voice their fears about death. She uses the sivasana pose as a tool to help people relax and be guided into the "ultimate surrender." Participants report coming away from these experiences with less fear and more joy.  One woman told her 10 years after attending a workshop that it had helped her when she was witnessing her mother's death. 
 
Williamson will be offering a workshop as part of the Stanford University Contemplative Arts Summit in October. More information and other events can be found at partneryoga.net/events. 
 
In this episode of Leading with Genuine Care, you’ll also learn:
 
Why Williamson focuses on relationship in her yoga teachings
What she believes we can learn through relationships and connection
What the hallmarks of a good teacher are
Why she believes talking about and working with death is so important
What people experience in a weekend retreat on death and dying 
What she believes forgiveness is
How Williamson has come to terms with her family and her past, including her brother's suicide



Connect With Elysabeth Williamson 
 
Websites
PartnerYoga.net
ElysabethWilliamson.com



LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/elysabeth-williamson-98421a1aa/
 
Facebook
facebook.com/partneryoga
 
Twitter
https://twitter.com/ElysabethWilli1
 
Book
The Pleasures and Principles of Partner-Based Yoga
Available at https://partneryoga.net/shop-2/
 
The 2024 Do Nothing Retreat is open for registration
Join us from September 22-26 for The Do Nothing Re

"Really, death is a journey into and through the mind."  — Andrew Holocek
 In this episode, I speak with Andrew Holecek, the author of several books on meditation and lucid dreaming. While he's had a career as a dental surgeon, he has had a lifelong interest in meditation and the wisdom traditions. In 1998, he went on a three-year retreat at Sopa Choling in Nova Scotia, Canada. He calls this experience "transformative," and it was in his last year he had the idea for his first book, The Power and the Pain: Transforming Spiritual Hardship into Joy. He has gone on to publish several other books on dying, meditation, and dream yoga and speaks and teaches on these topics. His teachings draw on Buddhism, but he stresses that all wisdom traditions have something to offer and often teach the same things in different ways. 
Andrew's book Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom From the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition explains that how we prepare to die is just as important as how we live. Many of the spiritual masters understand that death is just another phase of life, and they make no distinction between life and death. The best way to prepare for death is to become familiar with your own mind, and the best way to do this is through the practice of meditation. Further, living your life to the fullest and living a life of goodness are also spiritual practices that prepare you for death. These masters seek to be at the moment of looking forward to death when they die. Having no fear and no regrets are also states to aim for. Indeed, the "awakened ones" see death as liberation. 
Andrew's work on lucid dreaming further extends these ideas, as this practice is really about becoming more conscious and intentional. In his books about dream yoga and lucid dreaming, he explains that dream yoga incorporates but also transcends lucid dreaming. Lucid dreaming is the act of becoming conscious when in a dream state, so that the "conscious mind can face the unconscious mind directly." It's a powerful practice that has helped people become more mindful and conscious in their awake states, as well as having mental and physical benefits. Most of our lives are spent in the phase of "non lucidity" or distraction; practicing meditation and lucid dreaming can help us become more conscious. It can "accelerate your psycho-spiritual development." 
Intention-setting is another important practice. At a dream yoga training, the teacher taught only that practice. This practice might involve the repetition of your intention throughout the course of the day, especially right before sleep.
As a dental surgeon and founder of Global Dental Relief, which provides dental care to people in developing countries, Andrew believes in the efficacy of Western medicine. However, as he notes, we are one of the only cultures that do not regard the dream state as important. He seeks to draw on the best of Eastern thought and Western medicine in his approach to sleep and dreaming. He gives examples of accounts of people who dreamed events that later became true and his own experiences with precognitive dreaming. 
Another topic Andrew has written about is "reverse meditation." This is a practice that teaches you to be with an unwanted experience instead of running away from it as an opportunity for transformation. Pain and suffering can be a pathway for change; tranquility "sedates, it doesn't liberate." The goal is to live in a state of expansion rather than contraction. Acceptance and open awareness are key in this practice. 
 Andrew offers retreats for people interested in learning more about his work and is hosting one in March in Costa Rica. He also hosts an online community, Night Club.
In this episode of Leading with Genuine Care, you’ll also learn:

More about the best way to prepare to die  How death can be seen as a form of liberation  The power of lucid dreaming and practices that help you get there  How the dre

"The fundamental idea of gross national happiness is to say that the center of our attention should be the happiness of all people as well as all life forms."  — Tho Va Hinh
 
This week I speak to a returning guest, Tho Va Hinh, author of The Culture of Happiness and founder of the Eurasia Foundation and the Eurasia Learning Institute for Happiness and Wellbeing. He's designed the Happy Schools curriculum, which started its first program in Vietnam and is now being tried in Switzerland and Germany.  He is also a Buddhist teacher ordained by Thich Nhat Hanh.
 
Tho's early life was shaped by being the child of a Vietnamese diplomat father and a French mother. Though he did not directly witness the Vietnam War growing up, he was impacted by it through extended family. He saw both sides, he explains. While he at first thought he'd study to be a doctor, he chose a less conventional path: he became a performer and dance teacher. The type of dance he did was Eurythmy, a dance form developed by Rudolf Steiner, whose philosophies shape Waldorf schools. 
 
Tho explains his early interest in Eurythmy and his journey as a teacher and a Buddhist have all been driven by a desire to connect inner transformational work with the outer work of social change.He pursued a PhD in psychology and education when he was over 40. He has held leadership roles in schools, including director of Camphill Seminar of Curative Education in Switzerland and director of learning and development for the International Committee of the Red Cross.  While serving in the latter role, he saw firsthand the devastating impact of wars in such places as Palestine and Darfur. He began to seek out ways to change the root of the problems, rather than addressing the consequences of violence. 
 
Tho's interests led him to Bhutan, where the government has implemented an alternative framework to replace the Gross National Product:  Gross National Happiness. He explains how and why this framework is based on the premise that the guiding principle for a society should be on wellbeing for individuals, connection with others, and caring for the planet. The economic system is only one part of this larger framework. However, most societies use the Gross National Product - an economic index - as one of the most important markers of how a society is doing. Tho describes the process of implementing an index to measure Gross National Happiness instead and how this has led to his development of the Happy Schools curriculum. 
 
Tho has also helped implement the principles of Gross National Happiness into business, working with companies in Vietnam, Switzerland and Germany. One first step is to gather information through employee surveys to find out what needs and concerns workers have in order to find ways that the company can help improve their employees' wellbeing. So far, the results have been encouraging, with leaders reporting higher employee engagement and a more positive work culture. \
 
Tho says that schools and businesses that have adopted these principles have proven more resilient through the pandemic and ultimately have come out stronger, and he's eager to see this grow in the future. His latest project hopes to do just that, through the creation of a "Happy Village" in Vietnam.
 
In this episode of Leading with Genuine Care, you’ll also learn:



How Tho's father responded when he told him he was going to study Eurythmy instead of medicine What Tho thinks of the current culture of information and how people need time to integrate all the information they are taking in  His experience of meeting Thich Nhat Hanh for the first time  The definition of dharma and why true Buddhist teachings are about freedom  Why he he started working on Gross National Happiness in Bhutan  What Tho thinks about artificial intelligence  How we need to shift education to respond to our current culture and create a better futur

“When we're no longer grasping for the money, it often flows more easily to us."  — Spencer Sherman
 
This week's guest is Spencer Sherman, CEO of Abacus Wealth Partners, a certified mindfulness teacher and author of The Cure for Money Madness. He also teaches people how to have a healthier relationship with money through his online courses and is on the faculty at NYU's Inner MBA program. 
 
In this episode Spencer and I dig into how our relationship with money is shaped by our parents, cultural messages, and the historical events we live through. Spencer grew up in Queens, where, he says, a lot of people focus on working hard, but he also grew up with the sense that there was never enough. After earning an MBA at Wharton Business School, he went to work for an investment firm. There, he focused on making moneynd and working long hours. 
 
Only when a fire broke out in his building did Sherman start to question whether money was needed for happiness at the expense of his health. He went on a ten-day silent retreat because, he says, "I'm a sucker for a challenge." That experience taught him that he could feel joy and a sense of having enough with few possessions, by just going inward. It was the beginning of redefining net worth to include more than just numbers on the balance sheet. 
 
Once he incorporated more mindfulness in his life, Spencer took a step back and started working on his relationship with money. He opened his own business and learned to set boundaries around his time for self-care activities like sleep and exercise. His business was one of the first to offer fee-only services, so he could help people objectively with their financial planning. In 2002, he joined with a friend to create Abacus Wealth Partners, a values-driven financial firm.
 
One practice Spencer teaches in his workshops is helping people become more conscious and aware of their thoughts and feelings around money. For example, he sometimes experiences anxiety about making a big purchase, even though he has the money. In those moments, Spencer explains, he reverts to being a child and feeling afraid he's going to run out of money. He has to take a moment, take a breath (he calls it the "money breath") and remind himself he's okay, that his adult self is in control. Similarly, he advises people take a few days to consider any big purchases, to make sure they are not acting out of impulse. 
 
Money can be our greatest teacher, Spencer says. Once we stop and become aware of our relationship with money, we can learn so much more about ourselves. 
 
In this episode of Leading with Genuine Care, you’ll also learn:



How lessons about money are learned, from previous generations and from the events we live through as a child and adolescent.  How improving our relationship with money can help us cultivate patience and  resilience.  Why finding your own balance - with work and play, with risk and safety - is important. How gratitude can help us focus more on what we have and less on what we don't. Why feeling the sense of "enoughness" may be the key in shifting to a healthier relationship with money, and open up more abundance into your life.  What practice Spencer has used when he's felt envious.  How a taxi driver in India taught him about having enough. What leaders can learn from the Dalai Lama.  Why beginners are often better at investing over the long term. 



Connect With Spencer Sherman
 
Website
www.spencer-sherman.com
 
Instagram
Mindful Spencer
 
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindfulspencer/



The 2023 Do Nothing Retreat is open for registration (5 spots remaining)
 
Join us from October 8-12 for The Do Nothing Retreat,  a mindfulness meditation retreat suitable for meditators at all levels The retreat will enable you to cultivate a deeper mindfulness practice while in a peaceful and rejuvenating mountain location. Previous attendees have reported experiencing inc

“If we want to be free, at some point we have to plant our staff in the ground and say, 'I am here.'"  — Koshin Paley Ellison
This week's guest is Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison, founder and guiding teacher of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care. Ellison is an author, Jungian psychotherapist and ACPE Certified Chaplain Educator. Koshin has served as the co-director for Contemplative Care Services in the Department of Integrative Medicine at Mount Sinai Beth Israel Medical Center and is currently on the faculty of the University of Arizona Medical School's Center for Integrative Medicine. His most recent book is Untangled: Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage and Compassion. 
While Koshin has extensive education, he explains that it's ultimately all been in search of deeper meaning. As a young man he discovered the poetry of Marie Howe and was moved to seek her out as a teacher. He subsequently studied under her, earning an MFA. Then, after serving as a hospital chaplain, he went on to get a degree in social work in order to learn how to help others better. This led him to studying psychoanalysis. But clearly what has most deeply informed Koshin's life is his practice of Zen meditation, which he's formally studied since 1987. 
"Zen," Koshin explains, simply means sitting meditation. It's one of the various practices of meditation, and all are valid routes to self-reflection and exploration. It was this practice that enabled him to sit with and be present with the dying as a hospital chaplain. He started in this work when his grandmother was dying, who observed that he and his "Zen people" were the only people who could be fully present with her, without distraction, fear, or busy-ness. He credits her as the real founder of the Zen Center for Contemplative Care. In an effort to bring these principles to the medical community, Koshin helps doctors and other clinicians bring a contemplative practice to their work and their lives, enabling them to be more present for their patients, as well as themselves. 
Ultimately, what's important, Koshin says, is that we not get too attached to our identity. We take on different identities throughout our days and lives depending on the situation we're in. Letting go of attachment to one's identity is key. He also believes that suffering is rooted in the gap between what we believe to be right and good and how we act daily, and he strives to help people to close that gap in order to live more authentic, meaningful lives.
In this episode of Leading with Genuine Care, you’ll also learn:
How a traumatic memory from Koshin's childhood came back to him and how he responded  His first lesson as an 11-year-old karate student  His own moments of insight with being attached to his identity   Why Buddhism is still relevant today How anxiety is an addiction  How he finds gratitude and appreciation in everyday life 


Connect With Koshin Paley Ellison
Website
https://zencare.org
Instagram
@koshipaleyellison
 
The 2023 Do Nothing Retreat is open for registration (5 spots remaining)
Join us from October 8-12 for The Do Nothing Retreat,  a mindfulness meditation retreat suitable for meditators at all levels The retreat will enable you to cultivate a deeper mindfulness practice while in a peaceful and rejuvenating mountain location. Previous attendees have reported experiencing increased productivity, increased focus, and new perspective – among other benefits – as a result of what they learned. 
 
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