201 episodes

A weekly podcast designed to strengthen your marriage, parenting, and personal relationship with Jesus.

Let's Parent on Purpose with Jay Holland Christian Parenting

    • Parenting
    • 4.9 • 154 Ratings

A weekly podcast designed to strengthen your marriage, parenting, and personal relationship with Jesus.

    202. Hope and Freedom from Pornography Addiction with Shane O'Neill

    202. Hope and Freedom from Pornography Addiction with Shane O'Neill

    Pornography is becoming an issue for younger and younger Christian youth – and a challenge for their parents. For our final episode in the Technology and Family series, we talk about this often hard-to-breach subject, with a message of freedom and hope from guest Shane O'Neill.
    Show Highlights
    Shane O’Neill is the host of The Naked Gospel podcast. He is also the Editorial Director for Proven Ministries, a non-profit, sexual integrity organization that partners with individuals, churches, and organizations to see men, women, and families discover Jesus’ freedom. Shane is currently working on a graduate degree in apologetics at Liberty University’s Rawling School of Divinity.
    "I needed to re-imagine with a biblical ethic the value of my body," Shane says on his own addiction. Our addictions often stem from the need to anesthetize ourselves from pain or as a stimulant, just like a drug.
    Pornography, especially in the technological age, has everything needed to form a habit – being obvious, easy, attractive, and rewarding in an immediate way. Getting over the addiction means taking time to re-train these habits.
    Your kids' devices are constantly being updated with apps and it gets easier and easier for them to view pornography, even accidentally, at a younger age. Understandably, when a parent catches their child watching porn, the immediate response is to scold them, but remember that often a child stumbling upon pornography for the first time is usually just exploring or expressing wonder. Instead, try to sit down and have a serious conversation with them to answer their questions about intimacy.
    Parents can go through a range of emotions dealing with their kids' exposure to pornography. There is fear for the path of addiction they might go down; guilt that they did not protect their children well enough; shame of making their kids feel dirty in their response.
    Process this situation with your child in a healthy way. There are ways to walk with your child though this. There are practical ways to deal with technology, but even more so, show your kids that intimacy can be beautiful with marriage. Rather than having them look for answers to their questions elsewhere, be there to answer their questions in a healthy way.
    [bctt tweet="I needed to re-imagine with a biblical ethic the value of my body" username="jaydholland"]
    Resources Mentioned
    Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers Website: www.provenmen.org Podcast: The Naked Gospel Book: Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson Book: Good Pictures, Bad Pictures by Kristen Jenson Previous episode: The Prodigal Son Comes Home with Shane O'Neill If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.
    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.
    Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

    • 52 min
    201. Raising Kids in a Screen-Saturated World with Eliza Huie

    201. Raising Kids in a Screen-Saturated World with Eliza Huie

    In today's world, we and our children are bombarded by screens. Eliza Huie shows us how we can raise kids in a screen saturated world. She also reveals what the real enemy is – and it's not technology
    Show Highlights Eliza is the Director of Counseling at McLean Bible Church in Virginia and the Dean of Biblical Counseling at Metro Baltimore Seminary. As a licensed counselor with biblical training, she brings expertise to the challenges parents face in a way that emphasizes organic gospel connections. Eliza and her husband Ken raised three children and recently had the joy of adding a daughter-in-law to their family. She is the author of Raising Kids in a Screen-Saturated World, Raising Teens in a Hyper-Sexualized World, and The Whole Life 52-Weeks of Biblical Self-Care available summer 2021.
    Most of us parents right now are not digital natives. We didn't grow up with screens everywhere, so we need a little guidance on how to navigate technology in our homes.
    Now it's common for a kid to have more than one gadget! Because of the COVID situation right now, their world is surrounded by screens from schooling to socialization. Eliza says, parents need to realize that this is a season and it's not always going to be like this.
    It's just the reality that screens are a necessity in your kid's life right now, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't still exercise healthy habits and parameters when it comes to using them. Too much can lead to feelings of disconnection from our family and children.
    Eliza reminds parents, not all screen time is created equal. If your child has to be online on a Zoom class, that doesn't count as leisure screen time. Sometimes your kids really need to connect with their friends online. But, when you notice them getting screen fatigue – headaches, eye strain, difficulty sleeping – you might need to regulate even their necessary screen time.
    Model digital discipline and courtesy. Even if we are all working from home, on our computers, try your best to be available for face to face interaction when your kids are in the room. Let them see that you put your phone away and you have your own limits when it comes to using tech.
    Before you hand over a new device to your child, have three important conversations: set the parameters and the conditions around it, like appropriate times and places to use it; talk to them about confidentiality; have the conversation about cost – even if it's a gift. Help them budget their data and the time they spend online. It's important your kids know that having a device is a privilege, not an entitlement.
    The devices and screens are not the enemy. Eliza says, the enemy is the enemy of our souls. Don't look at screens as evil, rather think of how you can use them in a positive way that promotes good in your family.
    [bctt tweet="not all screen time is created equal." username="jaydholland"]
    Resources Mentioned Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers Eliza's Website: http://www.elizahuie.com Eliza's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ElizaJaneHuie Eliza's Books: Raising Kids in a Screen-Saturated World and Raising Teens in a Hyper-Sexualized World Previous episode: A Homeschooling Peptalk with Eliza Huie Previous episode: Raising Teens in a Hyper-Sexualized World with Eliza Huie If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.
    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.
    Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you h

    • 40 min
    200. The Most Important Thing for Moms and Dads

    200. The Most Important Thing for Moms and Dads

    Studies have shown that the average teen is in church maybe 50 hours a year, but they get about 3,000 hours a year with their parents. What happens in the home is so impactful on a child's spiritual life. As a youth minister, I find it so important to connect not just with young people, but to their moms and dads too. That's how the idea for this podcast started. Now, Let's Parent on Purpose is on its 200th episode!
    Show Highlights
    Through all the parenting struggles I've gone through as a father and a foster father, I've learned that the most important thing as a parent is this: believe in the gospel. Believe the gospel in its entirety.
    As parents, I want to point you back to the reality that the most important thing in your life is not your bank account or your service at church, or even how well your kids are doing. The most important thing in your life is the reality that Jesus died for your sins and he rose again. Put your faith and trust in Jesus.
    Many of us believe that gospel, and know that Jesus died for our sins and when we die He will take us to heaven, but we forget to believe the gospel in the moment as it applies to our daily life.
    Believing the gospel in the day to day will radically change your narrative as you walk through any event.
    Romans 8:1 "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." However crappy of a parent you were this week, there is no condemnation for you. God is not sitting in heaven rating your righteousness. Even if you may have failed today in your parenting, ask yourself: How do I think about that in light of the fact that Jesus died and rose again? In Romans 8 we also learn that God sends his Holy Spirit to dwell within us. There is nothing that God would require in your life that He is not there and empowering you to do. God prays to God for you. You are not alone. God is interceding on your behalf. One of the greatest verses in the Bible is Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good." You can believe that gospel that what ever is happening in your life, if you love God and you belong to Jesus, all of those things will work together for your good. Romans 8:29 "For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His son in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." What does good look like to God? It is for you to be conformed to the image of Jesus. God is working all your victories and trials together to make you more like Jesus. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" When you believe the gospel, it changes how you parent. Because you believe that you are not alone and you are not separated from the love of God.
    [bctt tweet="Believe the gospel in its entirety." username="jaydholland"]
    Resources Mentioned
    Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers Website: Christian Parenting If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.
    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.
    Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

    • 30 min
    199. My Key Takeaways from The Social Dilemma Documentary

    199. My Key Takeaways from The Social Dilemma Documentary

    Netflix recently released a documentary called the Social Dilemma. This is film is part interview, part family drama, part recreation of the Pixar Movie Inside Out.
    In interviews with some of the primary behavioral and software engineers of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest, we learn how these products are not only designed to be addictive, but also to change user’s behavior.
    I think every parent who is on social media needs to watch, and every parent of a child who is on social media should watch it with their children. Here are some of my key takeaways from the documentary.
    Show Highlights The drug industry and the social media industry are the only two industries that refer to their customers as "users." But, you may not realize that you are not the customer of the social media industry. As a customer, you would have to be paying for the product, but someone else is – advertisers. With social media, you are the product. Advertisers pay social media platforms to influence you into long term behavioral change.
    As parents, it is alarming to know that our kids are not sophisticated enough to pick up on the nuance that social media is manipulating them like a tool.
    Posts become engaging when they are shocking, outrageous, or incites strong emotions. Social media also tends to show you more and more of what you are biased towards. This makes us eventually see things only from one side and view the other side with contempt.
    What makes conversation more difficult than contempt? This is being fueled by the social media platforms that we are on.
    Protecting our children's privacy is another very important consideration when it comes to social media. But, social media is reaching a point where it's not just about your privacy. It's about changing who you are – ever more so with your kids.
    Together with the normalization of young people having their own gadgets and being on social media at an early age, as a youth pastor I have noticed a much higher rate of pornography addiction among young men and women, higher rates of self-esteem issues and suicide than ever before.
    To be a good example to my kids, I have deleted my social media apps from my phone so that I am not compelled to check notifications all day. If I want to get on my social media accounts, I have to wait to get on my computer at home. I have found that being on social media less has made me more engaged with actual human beings. I want to model to my children that this is not something that has to rule our life.
    Think about how social media has changed your behavior and attitude. Has it raised your level of jealousy? Has it raised your level of isolation or loneliness? Has it raised your level of true connectedness? If you see unhealthy fruits from your habits, maybe you have to go on a social media diet.
    Resources Mentioned Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers Article: “The Social Dilemma - My Top 9 Top Takeaways from the Netflix Documentary” by Catherine N. Wright Documentary: The Social Dilemma

    • 24 min
    198. Technology is Not the Devil with Scott Pleasants

    198. Technology is Not the Devil with Scott Pleasants

    Technology is an ever-present entity in our lives and sometimes we can become scared of it, but there are also several wonderful things made possible by it. This new series tackles various aspects of technology and how it navigate through it with your family.
    Show Highlights
    Scott Pleasants is currently the Strategic Innovations Advisor for Innovate Lynchburg where he is responsible for helping businesses with technology and helping tech-based entrepreneurs with their go-to-market strategies.
    Before being named SAI, Scott was the CIO for TRBC World-wide and the Director of Engineering Technology and Operations for the Liberty University School of Engineering and Computational Sciences.
    Even if Scott is a tech guy and his family is inevitably hooked on their own gadgets, they still make it a point to put their technology down and spend time together, take a hike, or enjoy sometime unplugged – "and not make it the center of our lives," says Scott.
    That said, Scott says, technology in itself is not bad – there are just people who do bad things with it. In fact, we can do major good with the technology we have.
    Technology and platforms should be tools for you to use. You should not be a slave to it. Empower your kids to use these platforms for good using these tools.
    Scott suggests not allowing kids to have technology in their own rooms. Make sure that the technology is in a common area and there are no secrets.
    Encourage a healthy use of technology. Let your kids know that they are not being given restrictions because you are treating them like children. They should understand that these precautions are meant to protect them and it is for the whole family's safety.
    Technology can be dangerous, so as parents, really sit down with your family and have a serious conversation about how you are going to use technology. Ask you kids, how can you do good with the technology that you have?
    [bctt tweet="technology in itself is not bad – there are just people who do bad things with it." username="jaydholland"]
    Resources Mentioned
    Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers Service: Apple Family Sharing DNS Filtering - blocks malicious or forbidden websites App: Bark - parental control tool App: Circle - parental control tool Sophos - cybersecurity Life 360 - family safety service If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.
    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.
    Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

    • 46 min
    197. Generations of Generosity with Lisa Gibson

    197. Generations of Generosity with Lisa Gibson

    To wrap up this series on Money Matters, I wanted to talk about the power of service and generosity in the family and how transformative that could be. In this episode, Lisa Gibson talks about the impact of three generations of generosity and serving as a family.
    Show Highlights
    Lisa Gibson is a wife to Brent, the mother of three, and follower of Jesus. She’s an active member of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church, and also happens to be my wife Emily’s sister. Lisa was profoundly shaped by her parent’s reliance on the Lord and generosity with others, and she and Brent are seeking to model the same spirit in their household.
    Learning from her own father's generosity, Lisa saw first-hand how it can change lives. She remembers him saying "Ask the Lord to show you people who you can be a blessing to." There is no shortage of people who need your help.
    In her own family, Lisa and her husband Brent strive to intentionally guide their children in putting feet to their faith on a regular basis.
    As a family, they host a life group each week, which entails the kids in the family to make small sacrifices like sharing their rooms with others to make space for the group to gather and study the Bible. The Gibson family has also fostered children.
    They make sure to do a variety of hands-on activities that instill the value of service in their kids, such as cleaning the church cafe once a week and inviting some of the older people in the community over to dinner. 
    At the same time, remember that you can't schedule out every moment of your family's lives. Leave some space for growth and development, and just time together.
    While Lisa sees how her children want to serve in their own different ways, she knows there is more room for growth and she believes that the Lord will enable this in their hearts.
    [bctt tweet=""Ask the Lord to show you people who you can be a blessing to." There is no shortage of people who need your help." username="jaydholland"]
    Resources Mentioned
    Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers Previous episode: Episode 123: Creating a Plan for Summer Growth If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.
    I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.
    Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

    • 30 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
154 Ratings

154 Ratings

Dan991234 ,

Great podcast for parents!

This podcast shares valuable information for parents. I’ve learned a lot from each interview. Keep up the great work!!

Life&RelationshipCoach ,

Fabulous show for all Parents

I really enjoyed listening to this show - I am Faith-based and feel all Parents need support and extra help to raise Consciously-aware kids...Keep up all the great work Jay! Coach Riana Milne

N@MRG ,

Financial Literacy: Sooner is Better

Loved the podcast on teaching kids to be smart with money. Great principles.

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