Listening Well Podcast Stephanie Bovis

In every relationship, there are three entities to consider. There is yourself, your partner, and the relationship as a whole.

This conversation was so enlightening with Dr. Oberdan, as we explored the importance of getting to know one's Self, and how that extrapolates into the health of a relationship with another. Sharing your life with someone is a constant dance, and as continuously evolving creatures we always have to give and take, push and pull, and do so effectively with the help of effective communication. Easier said than done, of course! But as Dr. O so eloquently articulates, getting to know one's Self is first and foremost the most important thing.

Dr Oberdan Marianetti is a UK-trained psychologist with a US doctorate in Clinical Sexology and combines over two decades of international experience. First as an in-house psychologist for financial institutions where he was the Global Head of the Learning and Organisational Development team at the peak of his career and then as an independent professional.Having successfully transitioned in and out of the corporate world twice, he is well-versed in navigating and understanding the challenges of modern life from both ends of the spectrum.

In 2015, Dr Marianetti pursued his calling and opened his first clinic in Singapore to serve the local community, focusing on relationship and sexuality challenges.

Dr Marianetti’s trailblazing spirit extends beyond his field of work. Continually driven by a thirst for knowledge and innovation, he remains on a perpetual quest for new theories, approaches, and techniques, all aimed at finding more impactful ways to assist his clients in rediscovering their inner power and purpose.

To find out more about Dr. O's retreats, VISIT THIS LINK!

Episode Highlights:


Dr. O’s explanation of the Self and the importance of getting to know yourself
The 3 Core Types of Self
Getting to know your own dashboard
How to know when you’re veering off path and how to better listen to the alerts/signs that come from within
How conditioning prohibits us from connecting to the Self
The importance of connection as a predictor of success, longevity, health etc.
The three entities in a relationship (me, you, us)
The equation: Familiar = Safe and how this equation shows up in our relationships
Having awareness of your own triggers/patterns, and being curious of your partner's
What are the barriers to couples that are "stuck" in their marriage/relationship
Should couples stay together just for the kids?
The importance of course correcting when couples are in conflict
Working on your Self is not selfish, it is altruistic!

Get in touch with Stephanie:

www.listeningwellpodcast.com | @listeningwellpodcast

Thank you for Listening Well!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode may get your heads scratching if you're tuning in from a society that has very specific relationship dynamics and arrangements in place. My curiosity to how other's live their lives and what they deem as healthy for their relationships has never been higher, as I am in the process of becoming the best partner and friend myself.In this episode, I speak to Akil Apollo Davis, a full-time Performing Artist & Theatre Professor of Mask and Art Aesthetic. He has been a unique and influential presence in New York City’s performance, educational and cultural avant-garde for 2 decades. We discuss the ins and outs of this thing called Sex Positivity. And to give you a brief idea, sex positivity is a social and cultural movement that promotes an affirmative and open attitude towards all aspects of sexuality. It encourages individuals to embrace and explore their own sexual desires, preferences, and identities without judgment or shame. Sex positivity emphasizes the importance of consent, communication, and respect in sexual relationships.

He has trained with Monks in Thailand, Brahmans in Bali, Witches in New York, and has worked with Psychologists to bridge the gaps between esoteric knowledge and classical paradigms.

Akil’s Karmic mantra: there must be more light.

Episode Highlights


Meet the one and only Akil
How he went from celibacy to monogamy to discovering consensual non-monogamy
Akil's understanding of attachment and fear in relationships
The establishment of monogamy
Accessing your healthy sexual energy
The tiers of being non-monogamous, and the importance of communication on your wants and needs
Emotional maturity
Real life examples on how non-monogamy works
The ins and outs of play parties
The downsides of sex positivity/monogamy
Compersion - a new word to remember

Resources, courtesy of Akil:Sex-Positivity for Curious Minds

1.“The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy2.“Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life” by Emily Nagoski3.“Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá4.“Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships” by Tristan Taormino5.“What Makes a Baby” by Cory Silverberg (for all kinds of families)6.“Queer: A Graphic History” by Meg-John Barker and Julia Scheele7.“The New Topping Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy8.“The New Bottoming Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy9.“Girl Sex 101” by Allison Moon and KD Diamond10.“Pussy: A Reclamation” by Regena Thomashauer11.“Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century” by Barbara Carrellas12.“Sex God Method” by Daniel Rose13.“The Art of Sexual Magic: Cultivating Sexual Energy to Transform Your Life” by Margo Anand Psychological and Emotional Work for Curious Minds1.“The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk2.“The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse” by Wendy Maltz3.“Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma” by Staci Haines4.“Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha” by Tara Brach5.“The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship” by Don Miguel Ruiz6.“Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson7.“More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory” by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert8.“Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy” by Irvin D. Yalom9.“Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex—and How to Get It” by Marty Klein Improving Your Sex Life1.“She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner2.“The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know” by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams3.“The Ult

"Wise mind" is a concept often used in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a type of psychotherapy developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan. It refers to a state of mind where an individual integrates both emotional and rational thinking processes in order to lead to better decision-making and emotional regulation. In DBT, wise mind is considered the optimal mental state for making decisions and coping with life's challenges, and through my DBT journey and learning and integrating more of wise mind in my interactions, it has completely transformed my life in more ways than one.

The idea behind wise mind is that there are three primary states of mind: emotional mind, rational mind, and wise mind. Emotional mind is dominated by emotions, while rational mind is dominated by logical thinking. Wise mind is the balance between the two, where emotions are acknowledged and considered alongside rational thought.

Don't get me wrong I don't always get it right. I often get overwhelmed by certain choices and decisions and it is then that I feel my emotion mind come in. But like with everything, it's a journey. My goals are to make decisions that are both logical and emotionally healthy, and it all starts with a little mindfulness, baby.

I hope you enjoyed this episode, and thanks so much for Listening Well!

Get in touch with Stephanie:

www.listeningwellpodcast.com | @listeningwellpodcast
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Intimacy is something we all seek. Be it with a romantic partner, a friend, or even your parents! In this episode, I speak to Viv Kan to discuss mindful intimacy as it pertains to a romantic relationship.

Viv Kan  is a Mindful Intimacy Coach who helps busy individuals transform their  relationships by connecting the mind, body, breath, Yoni & Lingam.  Her mission is to help individuals and couples deepen their connection  through normalizing and educating the practice of mindful intimacy,  pleasure and desire. She is a trained practitioner of Yoni and Lingam massage and is a speaker at TEDx the Hong Kong Mental Health Conference. Viv is a certified Mindfulness Life Coach, Mental Health First Aider, RYT500, and the founder of Mindful Intimacy and Kan Elevate Corporate Wellness.

Episode Highlights:


Viv's journey into becoming a Mindful Intimacy Coach
Why intimacy is so important in your relationships
The importance of listening to one another in a relationship
How to mitigate communication blocks with your partner
Yoni and Lingam workshops
The ways ladies can achieve optimal orgasm
The importance in sleep in hormonal balance and libido
The difference between Doing energy and Being energy
How to overcome your addiction to your vibrator
Viv's tips on how to connect better with your Yoni or Lingam

Get in touch with Stephanie:

www.listeningwellpodcast.com | @listeningwellpodcast

Thank you for Listening Well!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, I reflect on how can we access our BEING mind in the midst of a DOING world? 

Upon recording this episode, I am in the depths of the alps, in a valley called Roseg, just outside of the bougie town of St. Moritz. My holiday mode is in full activation, and I can feel my body and mind in a very quiet, serene state of rest. I am far from the bustling city of Singapore, I am away from the friendship orbs and home responsibilities, I am away from the sheer buzz I can feel from my fellow neighbors. The complete change of environment has put in me in a state of BEING which I can feel so intimately.

It's like I’ve taken a back seat in life, where this time and space has allowed me to relish on the little miracles Life has to offer. I can find my breath with greater ease, and more often. The attitude of gratitude becomes more apparent. A stark contrast from the constant swirl of energy and the need to fill in moments of down time that I experience in Singapore. I often wonder why simply doing nothing proves to be such a challenge in the city, not to mention the perception that if you aren’t doing anything, you are wasting your time and thus aren’t moving efficiently on the hamster wheel.

As I feel my nervous system "smoothen" out, it has got me reflecting on what it means to be in BEING state of mind vs a DOING state of mind. I am reflecting on the ways I live in both extremes, and why it is that we can’t find this middle ground where there is a healthy balance of simply BEING, and thus so tied into the moment, but also to operate in a healthy state of DOING where we can support ourselves financially and to keep that drive and fire in our bellies burning.

Get in touch with Stephanie:

www.listeningwellpodcast.com | @listeningwellpodcast

Thank you for Listening Well!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Barlas Gunay is a licenced psychologist and a certified meditation and mindfulness teacher based in the Netherlands. He works with English and Turkish speakers from all over the world reparent themselves, heal their  inner child, and achieve their growth goals. In addition to running his  psychotherapy private practice, he also creates daily self-reparenting content for his quickly growing Instagram account, @acceptandact.To get  access to his exclusive teachings, and to support his work, you can become a member to his Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/acceptandact

Episode Highlights:


The archetypes of our inner child
The ways you can detect your inner child
Reparenting your inner child, and the ways you can do it
The importance of showing up for yourself
The ways emotions show up as a teacher
Reparenting as a constant process
Diving into schema therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT)
Emotion regulation
cPTSD and the myths around it 

Get in touch with Stephanie:

www.listeningwellpodcast.com | @listeningwellpodcast

Thank you for Listening Well!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.