Lives of the Unconscious. A Podcast on Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy Cécile Loetz & Jakob Mueller

The idea of split personality is fertile ground for stories of great imagination—while regrettably also inspiring and perpetuating numerous misunderstandings that continue to cling to the kind of personality organization that we will take up in this episode.

*there is a small cultural variation in the episode. We use the German abbreviation "DIS" for Dissociative Identity Disorder. In English, however, the expression "DID" is common. We think that the episode is still easy to understand and hope you enjoy listening to it.

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In contrast to “black depression,” white depression denotes an often inconspicuous, insidious affliction that can last a lifetime. Its distinguishing quality is a feeling of meaninglessness and emptiness that is nearly impossible to grasp, even if everything in life actually appears to be working out and there is reason to be joyful. As if, despite all efforts, it was simply impossible to truly believe in anything at all, as if all love and enthusiasm were simply a stage play, acted out for others. What this is all about and where such feelings towards life can come from is the subject of this episode.

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“You’re free to do anything you want! But this man, of all people—you’ll never be happy with him.” Or: “Of course, if you don’t have time, you don’t have to come to the birthday dinner. But Uncle Henry will be very sad if you don’t. He was asking about you.” Or: “Yeah, yeah, I got it, independence is very important. But your own apartment, what’s the point? You can live with us, it’s much cheaper—and we’ll leave you alone.”
Sentences like this are likely to be familiar in every family. In some families, however, there is a system to this way of communicating. In this episode, we look at the so-called “family behind the rubber fence.” Generally unremarkable from the outside, while highly prone to conflict on the inside, the force binding these kinds of families together is nearly inescapable. In contrast to the “clan-family,” in which deviation is openly disapproved of and attacked, communications within the pseudo-community convey a subtle message of dependency, an intangible ban on separating and individuating oneself from the family: beyond the family, lies the threat of catastrophe. A violent clash ensues if any family member risks breaking away from the family, sometimes even lead-ing to illness.

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One couple fights over household responsibilities. Another is trapped in a cycle of jealousy and control. Still another strives for total harmony and oneness—only to be tormented by intense anxiety the moment small differences arise. With the help of the famous psychodynamic concept of collusion, this episode deals with the often conflictual relations between couples. We often encounter in romantic relationships the contours of our unconscious longings and fears, factors that are anchored in our personal history and that are decisive in the selection of a partner. Topics include: the relationship dynamics of jealousy, narcissistic relationship dynamics, as well as helper dynamics.

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Addiction is one of the most widespread forms of mental illness. However, it is also burdened with many stigmas, and those suffering from it are often stigmatized. Treating it is considered difficult. But why do people become addicted? Can anyone become an addict? What is the psychological function of addictive behavior? This episode is an introduction to the psychoanalytic understanding of addictive disorders, focusing especially on the unconscious dynamics of shame and guilt.

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“You are what you eat.” We are continuously negotiating our identity through food, setting the boundaries of the self. Inscribed into the symptoms of anorexia is an unconscious conflict of identity, which has something to do with one’s own longings and cravings, with a hunger for the other. In psychodynamic therapies, these longings become part of the therapeutic exchange, while also leading to a characteristic dilemma.

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