Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

lost queer spaces
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  • UPDATED WEEKLY
Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

How do queer spaces help to shape people's lives?  Why are they so important to the LGBTQ+ community? What is the impact of losing these spaces? Lost Spaces explores these questions (and more!) through conversations with members of the LGBT community. Each week host K Anderson sits down with a different guest to discuss a space from their past, why it was important to them, and how it helped shape who they are. Expect conversations about coming out, going out, and getting down. And snogging strangers on sweaty dancefloors. We can't talk about gay history without that coming up.

  1. 2D AGO

    'Single and Celibate for Jesus' - with Alex Ray

    Have you ever decided that you were going to go celibate and swear off sex forever? Probably. It happens. Now, my follow up question - have you ever promised that you'd go celibate to... oh, i don't know, let's say,,,, thousands upon thousands of evangelical christians and then felt the weight of all of their expectations upon you whilst you're still trying to wrestle with your sexuality and identity? No, I didn't think so. Me either. But this week's guest, the sex and intimacy coach, porn star, and podcast host, Alex Ray did just that, promising the world that he would remain celibate. But that was all to come crashing down when he went to Washington, DC's club Town. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Website: https://alexxxgay.univer.se/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heyalexgay Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyalexgay

    47 min

  2. MAY 7

    'The Part I Couldn't Stand About The Lesbian Community' - with comedian Glo Butler

    Do you remember the person that you were before you first had your heart broken? How you moved through the world? How you approached relationships and falling in love? Do you ever miss that person? This week I caught up with comedian Glo Butler, and though we sat down to talk about the Fab Lounge, a lesbian bar in Washington DC, what we talked about was the people she met there and how they changed her outlook on life, love, and lesbian bars. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/glo_inthecity/

    1h 3m

  3. APR 30

    'Oh, You Know, The 'Gay' Thing' - with actor Paul Cram

    This week's episode feels like a bit of a culmination of different thoughts that have been bubbling up from recent conversations on the show. First, there’s my realisation that I’m more of a sponge than an island — and I know that sounds cryptic, but it’s really not. It's just this idea that who we are is shaped as much by what’s going on around us as it is by what’s inside us. Then there’s been a lot of talk about people pleasing — that’s come up in a few conversations lately too. But don't worry, it’s not all existential crises! That’s only half of the conversation. The other half is a lovely chat with actor and founder of the 'Men Who Read' book club, Paul Cram, about the lost Minneapolis space Jet Set, where he and his friend Robert used to go religiously, embracing the opportunity to leave behind the rest of the world if only for the evening. Sound familiar? Yeah, me too. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Website: http://www.iampaulcram.com/

    54 min

  4. APR 23

    'It Validated That I Am Gay' - with Greg R Baird

    This week it's the story of The Copa, a club that was found (across two different sites) in Flint, Michigan between the years of 1980-1995 But, really, it's a love story. And the first scene in this love story just happened to be at The Copa.  And, who is here to tell us all about it? Why, it's the self-proclaimed 'professional homosexual' Greg R Baird, who is a Global Lecturer on LGBTQIA+ Civil Rights, Allyship & Community. Greg is currently working on his memoir, and so was in a reflective mood when we sat down. And I learnt some really important things in this conversation, like how Greg learnt to m********e, and how he managed to fit in his really tight trousers that he bought especially for his first night in the club. But, most importantly, I learnt about the power of unconditional love. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/greggerspeaks/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@greggerspeaks YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GregRBaird Website: https://www.gregrbaird.com/

    48 min

  5. APR 16

    'Experiencing Gay Culture For The First Time...' - with drag queen Tita Baby

    Subscribe to my newsletter Queer Word, where we explore and unpack a different queer word every week. You know how we talk about queer spaces as a place where you can just be yourself? And we talk about how liberating and exciting and freeing that is? Well, what if the opposite is also true? What if being someone else in a queer space is also really liberating? What if being someone else actually helps you to realise who you are? Ok, I seem to be tying myself up in knots here. So, instead of pondering that massive question, why don't I introduce you to this week's guest? If you are a fan of Drag Race, but you haven't yet watched any of the international versions of the franchise then let me recommend you go straight to Drag Race Philippines. And, in particular, season 3 because it's chaotic and ridiculous in all the best ways. And it's where I found this week's guest, the delightful Tita Baby. Tita and I caught up to talk about Bed, which was a club in the capital city of the Philipines, Manila. And, of course, we also talked about much, much more - her childhood growing up in a sheltered catholic family, never being picked to play basketball with the other boys, and her relationship with her bisexuality. I loved this conversation because Tita was so open and honest throughout. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourtitababy/

    54 min

  6. APR 9

    'The 'Gay Age'' - with Koby Falks

    Have you ever heard of the concept of a “gay age”? If not, here's the gist: the idea goes that we each have a gay age, which starts from the moment we come out. So, that means if I came out yesterday, I’d be zero. If you came out a decade ago you’re ten years old in gay years. It’s a really fascinating concept, but the more I sit with it, the more I find it to be a little problematic. But I won’t get into all that now (I'll actually be talking about it in this week's issue of my newsletter, Queer Word. If you haven't signed up yet, make sure you do before Friday!) Let me instead introduce you to this week’s guest, Koby Falks—an adult entertainer from Australia who started going out in the early 2000s at one of Melbourne’s most iconic queer clubs, The Market. It was in this space that he really got to step into his queerness—and no other place was this more true than on the dancefloor where he could feel free, open... and shirtless. If the whole “gay age” thing has piqued your interest, I’ll be writing about it in this week’s issue of Queer Word, my newsletter all about queer language and its history. If you haven’t already signed up, you’ll find all the details in the show notes—I’d love to hear your thoughts on the idea. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kobyfalks/

    52 min

  7. APR 2

    'A Queer Kid In A Small Town' - with comedian Sunny Laprade

    Sometimes when you live in a small close-knit community there is nowhere to hide. No where to disappear to. It can feel like you're always on guard, always wearing the false smile and maintaining the pretence for everyone else around you. So, what would happen if you found somewhere that you knew no one else was going to be? Somewhere that you could totally relax, and just be yourself for an hour or two? How would that impact you? Well, we're about to find out, because this week's guest is comedian Sunny Laprade, who grew up in small town America , and found an abandoned building as a teen where she got to be away from the judgemental eyes of... well... everyone else in her life. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sunnylcomedy/

    1h 1m

  8. MAR 26

    'I Don't Do Very Well With Binaries' - with drag king Mr Wesley Dykes

    We talk a lot about — and when I say 'we,' I mean the wider queer community — how upsetting it is that queer bars and clubs are closing at an accelerated rate. But I think the bigger tragedy is the disappearance of queer cafés. And maybe it’s wrong to pit them against each other, but queer cafés offer that beautiful intermediate step. They’re not as full-on or intimidating as a bar or a club, and they’re places where you can just be. There’s no pressure to perform, no need to match the thump of a bassline — just you, your overpriced oat flat white, and the comforting hum of conversations that sound a little more like home. One of the absolute best queer cafés that ever existed — and I won't hear any counterarguments — was First Out Café in Central London. Before it closed in 2011 to make way for yet another railway construction project, it was a sanctuary. A place where you could nervously nurse a tea while pretending to read the free gay magazines that used to exist, all the while sneaking glances at the other queers who had found refuge there too. It’s also where today’s guest, drag king extraordinaire Mr Wesley Dykes, took his first tentative steps into queerdom. Growing up between Lagos and South London, Wesley navigated the complexities of identity, family expectations, and self-acceptance. And when that weight felt a little too heavy, First Out Café was there — offering a cup of tea and the reassuring presence of a community. Other episodes about First Out Cafe 'The First Gay Place That I Went Inside...' - with Alex Iantaffi from Gender Stories Podcast First Out Cafe, London (with Ali Brumfitt) Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrwesleydykes/

    48 min
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4.9
out of 5
45 Ratings

About

How do queer spaces help to shape people's lives?  Why are they so important to the LGBTQ+ community? What is the impact of losing these spaces? Lost Spaces explores these questions (and more!) through conversations with members of the LGBT community. Each week host K Anderson sits down with a different guest to discuss a space from their past, why it was important to them, and how it helped shape who they are. Expect conversations about coming out, going out, and getting down. And snogging strangers on sweaty dancefloors. We can't talk about gay history without that coming up.

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