172 episodes

Going places you don't want in your browser history. Lou Reads explores the side of the internet you never wanted to know about and reads it for you. No snappy comments. No insults. Just reading the comments & articles of the web as found. How is that funny or interesting? Well, you'll just have to check it out and decide for yourself!

Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! King Lou Fernandez

    • Comedy
    • 4.9, 442 Ratings

Going places you don't want in your browser history. Lou Reads explores the side of the internet you never wanted to know about and reads it for you. No snappy comments. No insults. Just reading the comments & articles of the web as found. How is that funny or interesting? Well, you'll just have to check it out and decide for yourself!

    Lou Reads episode 188 – The Forums Measurection.com

    Lou Reads episode 188 – The Forums Measurection.com

    According to Medical News Today, “As much as 45 percent of men believe they have a small penis.” Certainly, there are a lot of factors to this low self-opinion. While I’m not going to offer a solid argument on all the reasons I think it’s safe to say that pornography featuring an over-indexing of massive dongs and general societal theories about big dicks’ connections to virility and manliness play a big part. Unfortunately, insulting the size of man’s penis is very common, can be seriously injurious and it’s one of the things in life that men can literally do nothing about outside of surgery and weird stretching rituals I’ve read about before.















    So, this month’s episode of Lou Reads revisits the world of men with penises which are smaller than the average. When we last ventured to this topic it was back in the first year of Lou Reads in an unfortunately titled episode, My Tiny Dick Forum of Horrors. Now, Measurection is a forum for men who consider themselves to have below-average length penises to come and share in a community of similarly endowed guys. The forum has been around for over a decade and was even a focus of a Weekend Web posting before I got involved in WW. As always, I have selected a bunch of random threads of interest to read from without comment. I hope you enjoy it. And as the owner of My Tiny Dick wrote in a comment on the episode about their site “You’d be surprised at how small a penis can be before women really considers it small.”

    • 57 min
    Lou Reads ep 187 – NSFW Stories from High School

    Lou Reads ep 187 – NSFW Stories from High School

    I don’t remember a lot from High School but what I do recall is mainly the dumb shit my friends and fellow classmates got into. Most of my stories from High School revolve around drinking too much and doing graffiti (separately). A kid did bring a gun to school but he was just showing off, not trying to kill everyone for some teen angsty reason. IIRC he was kicked out of the school at a later date for something minor that appeared to be the final straw/excuse the principle was looking for to get the guy out. This episode of Lou Reads I went to AskReddit and read a bunch of stories of people’s most NSFW memories from High School. I hope you enjoy it!

    • 35 min
    Lou Reads ep 186 – Rub Maps – Happy Ending Advice

    Lou Reads ep 186 – Rub Maps – Happy Ending Advice

    Have you ever had this conversation? “Look, it’s my first time going to get a “massage” and I’m not sure how to make sure my “massage” ends in a “happy ending.” I mean, if it just ends in just getting my body relaxed with a real “massage” I guess that would be okay, too… but I’m really hoping to, you know… get a certain muscle worked on… you know? Oh, you don’t? Look, mom, I need to go…” Well, if you have then you should be checking out RUB MAPS instead of asking your mom for Asian Massage Parlour advice. RUB MAPS is a consumer review site for illicit massages with an entire, active forum for its users. Unfortunately you have to pay to see the reviews. Luckily you can see the forums for free and it’s a great source for all your “going to have sex with a masseuse” questions.















    This time around I didn’t actually read any of the site reviews but I may do so if I ever revisit. I hope this doesn’t give you blue balls… Also, if you get confused by any of the slang in this episode please consult this amazing massage parlour slang guide. You’re gonna need it!

    • 43 min
    Lou Reads ep 185 – Adult DVD Forums

    Lou Reads ep 185 – Adult DVD Forums

    It wasn’t so long ago that DVD’s were the awesome collectables. Now, of course DVD’s are taking up space in your home because we all just stream everything. This month’s forum is all about people who hang out the AdultDVDTalk Forums. It’s a fairly active forum with threads that sometimes run for over a decade. What do they talk about there? Well, mostly they talk about how much they love or hate different kinds of porn. Mostly they talk about how much they love anal porn but are sometimes disappointed by it. Occasionally they throw in some other topics as well.







    If I can see the red inside it’s over for me.







    Thanks for listening! Tell your friends! Ask for a magnet!

    • 56 min
    Lou Reads ep 184 – Complaining About Friends on The Internet from Something Awful.

    Lou Reads ep 184 – Complaining About Friends on The Internet from Something Awful.

    WHYYY!!?!11







    Everyone has problems with their friends and family. But sometimes it can be too complicated to actual confront them with these problems. Why? Well, maybe because if you did your friend might shoot you! Or maybe your family might also shoot you! Or, you know, maybe they’d just kind of think you’re a jerk or maybe, just maybe, they’d listen and understand that you have a legitimate point about and take it into consideration. Either way, this month’s episode is basically people airing their grievances in a place where their friends are basically never going to see them. That is unless they are part of the Something Awful forums. And let’s face it, these days that is less and less likely. The thread I am reading from started over a decade ago and is over 400 pages long! That’s a lot of complaining! If I learned anything from this episode it’s that there are a lot of people with issues around weed in this world…







    This image says it all.







    Thanks for listening!

    • 1 hr
    Lou Reads ep 183 – The Best of Craigslist –

    Lou Reads ep 183 – The Best of Craigslist –

    Well, something happened last time and the audio file disappeared from the post… ANYWAY, Craigslist is an anomaly on the internet. While some minor tweaking and tinkering has gone on, it remains basically the same ugly-but-useful website that was it was when it first appeared in 1995. Over the years someone, I don’t know who, has been selecting certain posts to be classified as BEST OF CRAIGSLIST.  So you can imagine that after 24 years there have been a lot of qualifying posts!















    This episode was a sort of palette cleanser for me. After doing three mainly gross episodes in a row it was time for some lighter content. I hope you found it entertaining. Thanks for listening! And be sure to follow, subscribe or whatever for all of my various media outlets.







    Join the Lou Reads FaceBook Page for frequent posts of Internet nonsense! Follow me on Instagram to see random pictures from my random life! Sometimes I stream on Twitch.tv so follow me there to get updated when I go live. And if you miss me live you can check out the videos on my YouTube Channel. There are probably more but that’s already too many requests than I’m comfortable with!







    Thanks for listening and spreading the word friends!

    • 41 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
442 Ratings

442 Ratings

Noahfatih ,

Awesome Podcast

Lou is a such a great orator. I wonder where the podcast went though? Oh well, 5/5 stars, this is a hidden gem, and I am one happy miner.

Kickintitties ,

Glorious!

Lou is hilarious and this podcast is a treasure! I wish I could give 100 stars! Thanks so much for creating this and please don’t ever stop!

otterwoman22 ,

Now THIS is entertainment

There are only a few podcasts I have been able to find that will hold my attention, but I can’t get enough of this podcast. I don’t know how he finds his stuff, but it is almost always hilarious, and when I’m not laughing because of the humor, it is because I am stunned into silence by the sheer craziness of the people that are out there and what they post. I have learned about things that I never even knew existed, and laughed all the while. Give it a try, find a couple episodes that look like topics you will find interesting, and after a few of those, you will want to hear them all!!!

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