Love, Commitment, and Courage to Keep Showing Up with guest Chad Roofener

Marriage isn’t about finding a perfect match—it’s about creating something strong, season after season. This July, Chad and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage, and one of the most common questions we get is, How do you keep going? The truth? It’s not about keeping a perfect balance or avoiding hard times. It’s about commitment—to the person, yes, but also to the marriage itself. We’ve had to choose each other over and over again, through the beautiful moments and the painful ones, in seasons where it felt easy and in times when it required everything we had.

One of the biggest misconceptions about marriage is that it’s always 50/50. The reality? It ebbs and flows. There have been seasons when I carried more, and times when Chad carried the weight for both of us. Marriage isn’t about keeping score—it’s about recognizing when your partner needs you to step up and when you need them to do the same. And sometimes, that means having the hard conversations—the ones that force you to be vulnerable, to face fears, and to admit when things need to change. I’ll never forget the moment Chad told me, I’m afraid you’re going to outgrow me. Instead of dismissing his words, I listened. That conversation wasn’t about doubt—it was about the natural shifts that happen as we grow. And that’s what marriage is: adjusting, again and again, while holding onto each other.

The courage to stay in love isn’t about never having struggles. It’s about showing up, even when it’s hard. It’s about being willing to grow together instead of growing apart, giving each other space to change while still making the marriage a priority. Love is more than just a feeling—it’s an active choice, one that we make daily. And after three decades, I can confidently say that while marriage has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it’s also been the easiest. Because at the end of the day, no matter what life throws at us, we know we’re in this together.

So, if you’re in a season where love feels heavy, where marriage feels like work—know that you’re not alone. The strongest relationships aren’t the ones without struggle; they’re the ones where both people are willing to fight for what they’ve built. Keep choosing each other, keep having the hard conversations, and never underestimate the power of simply showing up.