Love University' A Podcast Where you can Learn How to: Love-Yourself, Others, & a Higher Power! Hosted by Renowned Clinical Psychologist Dr. Alex Avila www.loveuniversity.love
HOW TO MARRY YOUR ENEMY AND LAUGH YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS: WITH BOB ECKSTEIN, NY TIMES BESTSELLING CARTOONIST AND HUMORIST
In a world of turmoil and strife, we need more laughter in our lives and our relationships. Married couples who laugh together tend to stay together and are happier. Moreover, it’s possible to marry your enemy and keep the joy alive. These are some of the fun and fascinating tidbits we learned on Love University from our good friend, Bob Eckstein (bobeckstein.com), award-winning illustrator and cartoonist (“All’s Fair in Love and War”). Bob brightened our day and enlightened us on how to bring more laughter, joy, and love into our everyday life. Here is what we learned:
*Humor is a turn-on. Research shows that women are more attracted, and have more sexual satisfaction, when they’re with men who make them laugh. Moreover, when wives used humor in the relationship, and it lowered their husband’s heart rate, their marriage had more stability and satisfaction. Also, the key is not whether the couple share the same type of humor (slapstick, wordplay), but whether they create humor together through their shared life experiences. Overall, humor is seen as a sign of intelligence, creativity, and fun—making the humorous person a more attractive and desirable mate. Santa Claus was reaching for his wife in bed, and she said: “Take a shower first; you smell like chimney.”
*Humor gives us perspective. When you are hurting and in pain, humor and laughter can be the balm that soothes you. Taking a difficult and painful situation, and turning it on its head, gives you the comforting feeling that “Everything will be OK.” Research shows that wartime survivors with a sense of humor report lower levels of PTSD after experiencing wartime trauma. Also, singles who suffer from dating difficulties can have a good laugh and feel better about their experiences. Two panda bears were in a room together—one said to another: “Look, until there’s a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists.”
*Look for the inner beauty. When Bob was in school, he was in art class with a young lady who was very competitive with him. He says they were competitive enemies and couldn’t stand each other. Twelve years later, they were invited by mutual friends to a funeral, and they fell in love and eloped. The turning point, says Bob, was when he saw her good heart—she volunteered for “Meals on Wheels” –a program bringing meals to people who need them. Her inner beauty is what sealed the deal. When it comes to choosing a potential friend or love partner, therefore, it’s a good idea to place importance on their inner goodness—compassion, optimism, kindness—more than their surface charm or looks. Their inner qualities are what will last in a long-term friendship or love partnership. One snail was talking to another as they looked at a tape dispenser. The snail said: “I know she’s a tape dispenser, but I love her.”
Things can’t get any worse but they can get funnier. Laughter is contagious and uplifting. You can walk into a room full of gloomy people, and if you can make them laugh, they will be grateful to you. To sharpen your funny bone, keep a funny notebook. Write down things that bug you or make you curious about people, and turn it into a humorous joke or story. Watch funny videos, shows, movies, or stand-up by yourself (or with your love partner), and note the things that make you laugh. Practice your humor with your love partner and close friends and family members. Then, try it out with acquaintances and even strangers. Have a “Laughter Party” in which you get a group of friends together and just start laughing for no reason. Do it for about 5-10 minutes and you will see an immediate uplift of everyone’s mood. You don’t need a reason to laugh—just laugh. Research shows that you release pleasure brain ch
THE POWER OF ALTRUISM: HOW HELPING OTHERS CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE
Did you know that helping others without expectation, also known as Altruism, can boost your happiness and success? Research shows that when you help others—smile, hold open a door, volunteer, listen with empathy—you will tend to have reduced stress, greater mental well-being, less physical illness, and even a longer life. Not only that, but when you help others, it becomes contagious and others “pay it forward”—creating a society of giving people who help each other and spread loving energy. In times of trouble and turmoil, giving is often the best remedy to what ails us. Here are some ways you can become more altruistic and create a positive impact in your life and the lives of others:
*Increase your empathy. Empathy is when you put yourself in the shoes of another—when you see life as they see it; feel life as they feel it. Empathy is a beautiful thing. In fact, the more empathetic you are, the more altruistic you are likely to be. The more you see another person’s point of view, their joys and suffering, the more you will want to help them. Try this: On a daily basis, ask people questions about their life dreams and what bothers them (and what makes them happy)—listen carefully to their answers. Maybe that waitress you see regularly tells you that she is a single mom who is struggling at working two jobs to make ends meet. Perhaps, your car mechanic confides that he is a devoted son who is caring for his dying elderly parents. Put yourself in the mindset of others, and you will have a stronger desire to help them and relieve their suffering, also known as having compassion.
*Give what you do best. If you want to volunteer for a charitable or humanitarian cause or organization, give based on your best talent. If you’re not good at working with your hands, then perhaps helping to build a house for homeless people may not be the best use of your talents. But, if you’re good with numbers or words, you can help with the organization’s needs for accounting or writing press releases. Think about your best skill and give that to others. You may be a good writer, teacher, organizer, or caretaker; maybe you’re good with numbers or working with your hands. Whatever your skills or talent is, donate that to help others. You will feel better when you give something you’re good at, and you will be more effective in giving something of value to others.
*Imagine giving love without expectation. Try this exercise: Imagine that you are smiling and giving loving energy to the most beloved person(s) in your life, perhaps your spouse or children. See them smiling and laughing—expressing joy and love to you in return. Next imagine smiling with love toward your close friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. Visualize them smiling and laughing as they send joy and positive energy your way. As you do this, you will start to fill your heart with joyful and loving energy, and you will be more inspired and motivated to help others.
*Help one person each day. Now go out and help people—strive to help at least one person every day. Your altruistic act can be as small as smiling, holding open a door, or paying someone a sincere compliment. Perhaps, you will give advice, money, energy, or time. Or you can offer one of the greatest gifts of all: Listening with love and acceptance to someone who is in pain. Your loving and accepting presence may be exactly what they need for their healing process to begin.
Remember: the more altruistic you are—the more you give to others without expecting anything in return—the stronger and more loving you will become. You will realize that you have an abundance of love and energy to give, and you will find that the universe will often reciprocate and give back to you great benefits in the form of love and material and spiritual help, as well as favorable circ
LEARN THE 3 SECRETS OF HAPPINESS: FOREVER JOY CAN BE YOURS TODAY, RIGHT NOW.
You can be happy, despite the circumstances. No matter how much you have suffered in the past, you can learn now to be happy as a consistent habit. All you have to do is learn 3 time-tested, research-proven secrets of happiness: They are:
*Gratitude: Be thankful for the good that comes to you—from your loved ones, the Higher Nature, even strangers (help you on the side of the road). Keep a gratitude journal and write down three things you're grateful for every day: Your life, family, friends, career, hobbies, talents and interests; for the air, sunshine, birds, and trees—everything you can think of. Research shows that keeping a gratitude journal increases your happiness by 30% and improves your sleep by 40%. Try it this week and notice the difference in your daily mood.
*Joyful Optimism: Optimism comes from the root word, “Optimus,”—"the best." When you are optimistic, you expect the best; you anticipate that things will work out well for you; you feel that “I am going to be OK.” Research shows that optimistic people are also luckier in life. They’re more likely to win the lottery, make money in business deals, pick the right love partner and friends, and make the best health and financial decisions. Because they are more open to experience, and can turn problems into possibilities, they are more flexible, motivated, and perseverant. As a result, they usually get better results and are happier.
*Forgiveness: Forgiveness erases the pain of your past. When you forgive others for wrongs committed against you, you liberate yourself from resentment, anger, and hatred. Although you may have nothing more to do with those who hurt you, you are forgiving them so you can be mentally free of them and the harms they committed against you. By doing this, you can move on with your life with a free and positive mind. Although you may be able to forgive others, one of the hardest things to do is to forgive yourself—for your flaws, mistakes, and blunders. You are probably your harshest critic. Start today to forgive yourself for all of your real or imagined errors. Realize that there is no need to regret your past mistakes. The truth is that you can only act at your current level of psychological awareness. When you’re in 6th grade, you make 6th grade mistakes; now that you’re in college (higher level of psychological development), you won’t make the same mistakes. Resolve that you will learn from your errors and grow as a human being—looking forward, not backward, to a bright and promising future.
There you have it: Practice the 3 Secrets of Happiness today and live with joy and success. Let us know your results by writing to us at email@example.com. To get your copy of the 3 Secrets of Happiness go to Amazon at shorturl.at/mwD89. We welcome your success stories.
MAKE YOUR LIFE A MAGICAL MIRACLE: 7 KEYS TO A HAPPY LIFE, WITH SPECIAL GUEST WENDELL MIRACLE, HAPPINESS INFLUENCER
In our world of turmoil and strife, we need more positivity; more miracles, more loving energy—to lighten our minds and lift our spirits. Recently, Wendell Miracle, happiness influencer and author, appeared on Love University and inspired us with his story of triumph over tragedy. Born in The Philippines, when Wendell became a US citizen he decided to change his last name to “Miracle” because he wanted to be an inspiration to many suffering people worldwide. After losing his beloved mother to breast cancer, and being broke and suicidal, Wendell transformed his life by giving to others through his inspirational pieces of advice, Hope Nuggets (#hopenuggets) on Instagram. Here are some of the Hope Nuggets we discussed on the show:
Gratitude is your magic elixir. Research shows that keeping a gratitude journal—writing three things you’re grateful for every day—can reduce your depression by 30% and improve your sleep by 40%. When Wendell wakes up each morning, he gives thanks for two gifts—his eyes—and then proceeds to list all of the things he’s grateful for: his bed, toothpaste, car, life, friends, family, health, career, spirituality, and so on. As a result, he feels constantly blessed and joyful. If you’re feeling down, start a Gratitude Journal and write down all of the things that you’re grateful for, starting with your life, loved ones, and so forth. When you bring more gratitude into your life on a consistent basis, you will uplift your mood and reclaim your spirit of positivity.
Use generosity as a reversal to eradicate feelings of deprivation and sadness. When you’re feeling sad or lonely, and engaging in self-pity, there is a sure-fire solution: Go out and help people, be generous, and give them what you believe you are lacking. If you’re lonely and want love, find the loneliest person in the room and cheer them up with loving energy. If you’re lacking finances, give time or money to a charity or a needy person. Being generous when you feel you have nothing to give will transform your mindset—from a mentality of lack and scarcity to one of glorious abundance. When you give loving energy to others, you realize that you already have love inside you. After all, you can’t give something you don’t already have. If you are short of money, yet give money or practical resources to others, you start to stimulate a prosperity mindset in yourself. You begin to believe that there is enough money to go around. You will understand how the world is an abundant place where there is constant growth: there can always be more money, more creativity, and more love.
Love and forgive yourself. You may be able to forgive others, but you probably find it difficult to forgive yourself—for your mistakes, inadequacies, and weaknesses. Yet, one of the most important elements of success and happiness is to be compassionate with yourself—to love yourself enough to forgive your past errors and blunders. When you are self-compassionate you accept yourself as you are—with your strengths and weaknesses. You also realize that you can contribute a great deal to the world if you utilize your Don—your God/nature-given talent or gift—to help others. It’s also important that you take good care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs—don’t neglect your health just to get more work done or to meet other people’s expectations. On a regular basis, take time for self-care. Get a massage or facial, spend time with loved ones, do your favorite hobby, engage in an exercise or spiritual practice; take a break from working too hard and just relax. When you love and take care of yourself, you will have more energy and ability to love and help others. In fact, the most selfless thing you can do is to nurture and reenergize yourself so you're able to redirect your loving and nurturing energy out
Customer ReviewsSee All
I enjoy that Dr. Avila presents us with actual terms that describe what he is teaching us, but also does a great job in explaining them so that anyone can follow along. This podcast not only informs us about all types of love, but it gives us the opportunity to put it into practice. Therefore, I have some homework to catch up on!
His interviewing techniques are not engaging. He rushes through their answers and interrupts guests, he has very scattered questions, and he changes topics on the drop of the dime. I listened to a few episodes and just couldn’t follow anymore.
Dr. Avila's knowledge and insight about love and relationships is very refreshing and informative. I like how he breaks it down for the average listener to understand, especially when it comes to topics that are more scientifically based. It's great that these podcasts go straight to the point and don't waste any time talking about unnecessary fluff. I am really enjoying his podcasts every week and I feel it's helped me understand myself on a whole different level. I look forward to many more!