Love University with Dr. Alexander Avila Dr. Alexander Avila

Have you ever felt shy, lonely, or disconnected from others?  Now there’s a way to connect with others and have great friends.  Our guest on Love University, Cat Moore (cat-moore.com), USC Director of belonging, shared some insights on how to bring positive people into your life and feel a powerful sense of belonging and connection with others. Here’s what we learned:
*Make yourself “Tappable.”  Put yourself out there to interact with people. Go to public spaces, activities, and events. Smile at others, say “Hi,” pay sincere compliments.  Make yourself approachable and chances are someone interesting will start a conversation with you. If you’re shy or Introverted, start small. Say “Hi” to a couple of people and see how that feels. Practice your smile with others. The more you send loving energy into the environment, the more likely someone will respond favorably to you.
*Show Empathy and Listen.  Cat says, “Being listened to with empathy  is the closest thing to feeling loved.  When you’re with others, make sure you listen without judgement—put yourself in their shoes. Ask: “How would I feel if I were in their position?”  When you show up with loving intention, you will be able to develop deeper, more meaningful relationships.
*Meet your friends in person. In our hyperconnected society, many people are overwhelmed with virtual relationships, but lack deep meaningful connections on a personal level.  Cat suggests that you meet your friends on a regular basis (weekly) in person if possible (homes, coffeeshops, outdoor locations). According to Cat, we need embodied experiences (not just zoom) to sustain quality connections. Relationships are a living organism that have to be fed regularly for true bonding to take place.  
Although we’ve become more of an internal society with more people working and entertaining from home, it’s important that we balance our social and self-care needs. If you’re more Introverted or shy, you may be perfectly content staying home and not interacting too much with people. Yet, it’s important to remember that other people may need you—your companionship, attention, advice, and love. Also, you can learn valuable things from others, and you can feel that you’re not alone in this big unpredictable world. Love and be loved. That is the essence of human connection. It’s simple, but if you do it, you will achieve a great sense of belonging, peace, and joy.

There once was a lion cub who got separated from his mother. A sheep found him and took him in as her own. The lion cub grew into a lion and one day an amazing thing happened. In the distance, he heard the roar of a lion. Suddenly, something powerful emerged within the lost lion—surprising himself, he started roaring as well.  Realizing his destiny, he left his sheep mother without looking back and went in search of his lion heritage. In a similar way, our guest on Love University, Jesse Leon, underwent an amazing transformation to discover his inner lion. Raised in a horrific environment of sexual abuse, drug addiction, homelessness, and hopelessness, Jesse awakened to his true nature by graduating from prestigious universities and making a tremendous impact on his community and the world. He also embraced his authentic nature as a gay Latino man who wants to inspire others to shine their light and love to their communities. We were honored to hear his story, as described in his bestselling memoir, I’m Not Broken (https://rb.gy/uruyp). Here’s what we learned from Jesse:
Channel Your Inner Nerd:  We all have innate intelligence.  You’re smart and resilient no matter where you come from and what you’ve been through. You just need to code switch—apply your knowledge and experience to the environment you’re in and do it for the good of all.
Be Ready for Unexpected Mentors:  Be open for moments of magic when remarkable people come into your life to help you. They may not look like individuals you expect to help you, but they can help transform your life if you let them.
Just Go For It: If you have a desire, don’t think twice, just go for it. Jesse thought his ceiling was to graduate from community college (cosmetology), but he didn’t realize that he could do much more.  With motivating people to guide him, he applied to UC Berkeley and Harvard, and graduated from these prestigious institutions. Jesse says that if you want something, just put yourself out there. Go for it, and you will be pleasantly surprised that you accomplished it.
Jesse’s message can be summarized in a simple phrase: Don’t Stop Until the Miracle Happens.  No one gave Jesse a chance, but he found faith, friendship, and hope in embracing his true authenticity and power within. You can do the same. No matter what you’ve gone through, no matter where you come from, You Are Not Broken. You are perfect just the way are. Embrace yourself, love yourself, and extend your love to others without expectation. Nothing can stop you now.

What would you do if the one you loved cheated on you with their ex and then a gun was pulled on you?  And what if your mind’s expectations of what your parent wanted you to do drove you to think about jumping off a building and ending your life? Sounds hopeless and miserable. Yet, our guest on Love University, Daniel Perez, 3D, overcame all of these challenges to become an up and coming producer, MC, and rapper who is happy to share his amazing story of acceptance, authenticity, and transformation. Listen as Dr. Avila helps Daniel see the beauty of his own inner nature and find the love inside he has been searching for all his life.   

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You can live the most amazing life possible, despite any setbacks, obstacles, or problems you may face. On our Love University podcast, we learned the secrets of impeccable living and reaching your most treasured goals.  Here’s what we learned:
*Claim your birthright as a King or Queen.  Remind yourself daily of who you are: A Queen or King by virtue of being a creation of the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). Claim your inner royalty and decide that you will live joyfully every moment of every wondrous day.
*Expand your Love Energy daily.  In the East, the vital flow of life energy is known as Qi or Chi.  On a daily basis, decide that you will express your positive and loving energy—smile at others, act kindly, listen attentively. When you extend your loving energy into the world, the world will reciprocate with good and wonderful things in your favor.
*Say “I am” and follow it with great things.  The words “I am” are very powerful. When you add positive and uplifting words to the “I am” sentence, you will be uplifted and encouraged.  Say “I am healthy,”  “I am rich—both materially and spiritually,” and “I am loved.” When you speak positives after “I am,” you can accomplish great things and live joyfully.
There you have it.  Three simple things you can do daily to live an extraordinary life:  Claim your royal birthright, expand your love energy daily, and say “I am” followed by great statements of positivity.  You’re on your way now to actualizing your full potential and achieving your deepest desires.   Enjoy every minute of your journey to the ultimate You.

Have you ever given up on a relationship, career/business, or lifestyle choice and then later regretted it? Would you like to have more power in your life to persist and accomplish the things you truly desire? If you answered “yes,” your solution is to catch your second wind.  William James, the esteemed psychologist, coined the term “second wind” to describe how you can persist through obstacles and tap into a deeper layer of energy and motivation to achieve your goals. Runners catch their second wind after running for a period of time. They are able to enter into the mindset called “Flow,” in which they lose track of time, worries, and even their very body—feeling joyous and uplifted in the process. Here are some ways you can access the power of your second wind:
*Cultivate a Fruitful State of Mind.  Adopt a mindset of positive expectancy (“things will work out just fine”), gratitude (“I am thankful”), and meaning (“I have a purpose”). When you do this, you will be able to push through barriers easier to reach your goals.
 *Practice Kaizen.  Kaizen is a Japanese term that means “continuous improvement.” Every day strive to make small improvements.  If you want to get in shape, you may start by working out only 15 minutes, and then gradually increase your time and frequency as you feel the pleasure and gains of your workout.
 *Participate in Persistent Contagion. Moods and mindsets can be contagious. Study and learn from successful “Second Winders” who have overcome great obstacles in life. J.K. Rowling was a single welfare mom when she wrote Harry Potter and became one of the wealthiest authors of all time.  Thomas Edison, famed inventor, “failed” thousands of times in his quest for the ideal light bulb filament, but he never saw failure. He said he learned many ways that wouldn’t work so he could find the way that would.
*Have a Strong Back, Soft Front. Another term from the East, this means that you will have resilience (strong back) when you face problems, but you will also have compassion for self and others (soft front).  In this way, you are balanced and firm when circumstances go against you, while maintaining your sense of love and humanity along the way.
*Take a Second Wind Inventory. In a pad, tablet, or notebook, write down the times when you got a second wind. Although you wanted to quit, you didn’t give up on a relationship, business/career/educational, or lifestyle decision. By not giving up, you experienced something wonderful and beneficial. Also, for the next two weeks, push your comfort zone a bit to get to your second wind. Maintain that yoga position or fast a little longer, make that uncomfortable call you need to make, do less of the bad habit (excessive social media use) that drains your energy. Record how you feel and your results—you will find that Second Wind becomes more natural and ingrained in you the more you do it.
In the end, you will realize an important truth: The wind is always blowing. It’s up to you to flow with the wind—instead of trying to fight against it. Be like a kite who is taken up by the wind—soaring majestically into the skies as you actualize your dreams of love, joy, success, contribution, and legacy.
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Do you love your work or is it mainly a way to make a living? Now there’s a way to love your work and make as much money as you need. On our Love University Podcast, we explored the secrets of doing work you love and achieving everything you desire.  Here’s what we learned:
*Tap into your Don. You Don is your Higher Nature (God/nature)—given talent.  Perhaps you’re gifted in writing, entertaining, caretaking, teaching, science, business, hands-on crafts, mechanics, or the like.  When doing an activity, ask yourself: “Does this activity make my heart sing and my spirit soar?” If it does, then it is your Don. Once you discover your Don, devote as much of your time to developing it as you can. When you tap into your Don, your self-esteem and self-confidence increases and you realize that your Don, used rightly, can be part of the restoration of the earth.
*Give the fruits of Your Don to the Higher Nature.  After you’ve discovered and developed your Don, your next step is to mentally give the fruits or results of your Don (money, accolades, status) to the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). In other words, you’re not working for the rewards of your work. You’re simply doing what you love to do and that is all. You’re giving away your talents in service to others as a result. You’re not burdened by the expectation or pressure of earning a certain amount of money or receiving some type of benefit from your labor.  As a result, you can do infinite work without getting tired because you are approaching it with a lighthearted and loving mindset.  In turn, the Universe/Higher Nature will bring to you all of the success, well-being, and joy that belongs to you.  It will come to you naturally and abundantly.
*Express kindness in the workplace.  They say the workplace can be filled with hostile, gossiping, and conflictual people and situations. Although this may be true, your task is to bring the energy of kindness to the workplace. On a daily basis, strive to relieve the suffering of the people in your work environment, including employees, manager, customers, affiliates,  and business partner. On a regular basis, perform acts of kindness.  For customers or clients, you can offer an unexpected gift or discount; for service providers, you may give them an extra tip or bonus.  At the office, you can help a co-worker with a difficult task. You can tell your supervisors, co-worker, and clients how much you appreciate them. In this way you create a “Kindness Chain” in which one person’s kindness inspires another to be kind as well. In this atmosphere of kindness and compassion, work satisfaction and productivity will be significantly increased.  
Yes, you can love your work and love your life. All you have to do is tap into your Don, give the fruits of your Don to the Higher Nature, and express kindness in the workplace. When you do these things, you will be one step closer to actualizing your true potential and using your gifts to uplift yourself, your loved ones, and the world.  As the famed Lebanese poet once said, Khalil Gibran said, “Work is love made visible.” Now it’s your turn: Go out this week and make your love visible in the work you do as you leave a legacy of goodness, light, and contribution.
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