Our culture tends to be a really self centered. There is not much grace for the personal weakness of others. And so, in step with our culture, a lot of the things that you hear talked about when it comes to the difficulties of married life have to do with one of the partners being bothered by the actions or attitudes of the other partner.
As a result we hear complaining - we hear wishes of the things that the other spouse would do differently - and I think while that’s totally understandable, it is NOT the approach we as believers in Christ should be taking.
This episode is all about THAT - what do you do when it comes to your spouse’s personal weaknesses? My contention - you should love them not only in spite of those weaknesses, you should also love them IN those weaknesses.
Listen to this episode to hear my explanation.
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What you’ll learn about loving your spouse’s personal weaknesses… [2:00] The different approach believers in Christ need to take when it comes to the weaknesses of others - including our spouse [7:20] The approach of proactive love in the areas of weakness your spouse experiences [8:54] Jesus is the perfect example of proactive love - like we need to express to our spouse What I've discovered about proactively loving the personal weaknesses of my spouse (and that she’s learned about mine)... It was 8 to 10 years into my marriage before Iearned a very important truth about the way I’m supposed to love my wife. It has to do with those things that my spouse struggles with personally.
I'm talking about struggles here, things that give her a hard time in life - like in the securities and fears and doubts she feels, you know, those kinds of things that plague all of us but that we don't always readily want to admit to other people.
You know you get to see those in your spouse better than you get to see them in anyone else. And as time goes on you get to learn what it is that pushes their buttons…
Things that make them afraid Things that makes them doubt themselves Things that make them doubt God's work in their lives Instead of being bothered by those things, instead of being perturbed or irritated, or complaining - we as believers in Christ have a great opportunity to really care for our spouse in a proactive way when it comes to those things.
Take the time to listen to this short episode to find out how you can do that - how you can help your spouse in those very areas of personal weakness that plague them the most - by your effective use of proactive love.
Thinking ahead in light of your spouse’s personal weaknesses can help you help them through the power of love that never fails. Here’s how it works… Getting ourselves in a position where we're mindful of the struggles our spouses have, knowing the things that are hard for them is a great opportunity for us to help them overcome those very things that plague them the most.
What we need to do is to love them in a way that tries to help them with those very issues ahead of time. I can give you an example or two from my experience - and my wife does not mind me sharing this with you because she shares this with people all the time. It’s one of the examples she often shares to enable others to understand what it is to be human and how we fight our own failings and our own insecurities day after day after day in order to better follow Christ.
And so here's is the example when we first married.
My wife had this tendency to be very very concerned about what people thought of her. You know…
Did they approve of what she said there? Did they feel like she was being wise? Did they see her in some critical light or think badly of her? That may sound extreme but if we are honest we know that we all struggle with that sort of thing from time to time - we all have that sort of desire to please people. And with my