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In today’s mailbox episode, Gemma and Justine address two questions submitted by two different listeners. One of the questions is about co-parenting children with a narcissistic ex-partner and how to protect them from the negative influences of their narcissistic parent. The other question is about supporting a partner while they have schema therapy.
Like any other personality trait, type, or disorder, narcissism falls on a continuum, so every case is different and comes with its own level of difficulty. People can fall anywhere on the spectrum, from having a few narcissistic traits to being an extremely toxic pathological and malignant narcissist. Some people with narcissistic traits could also have some healthy traits. So you might be able to communicate with them rationally in their healthy moments, while others may have more extreme traits and can be more difficult to deal with as a co-parent.
Narcissism is a complicated topic, and co-parenting your children with a narcissistic ex-partner can be very tricky. You can go back and listen to episodes 14, 17, 20, and 22 to gain a deeper understanding of narcissism and learn how to deal with the narcissist in your life. Those episodes also cover how to manage your narcissistic parents when you are an adult.
Justine reads out and discusses the email that Joe sent in asking how to support his teenage daughters without undermining their relationship with their narcissistic mother.Gemma explains how Joe can keep the lines of communication with his kids open. Justine explains to Joe how he can provide a safe space and be an emotional coach for his kids.What you can do when your child comes home and shares a distressing story about something that has happened at their other parent’s house.Talking to your kids about boundaries.There are many resources available on the topic of narcissism.Justine and Gemma summarize and discuss Karen’s question about how to help and support her partner while he is doing schema therapy.How to cope with a partner with an emotional deprivation and a self-sacrifice schema.Coming up with a plan when your partner and you both get triggered.Why you should never throw things that people have said to you when they are vulnerable back in their faces.How the subjugation and self-sacrifice schemas are correlated.Links:
Free webinar on co-parenting with a narcissist:
Emotion Coaching information
Disarming the Narcissist, by Wendy Behary