9 min
Marriage and Medicine Your Stories: Conquering Cancer
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- Relationships
Judith and Alan Kaur know more than most of us about the science of long-lasting love. And they use their unique experiences in the cancer community to advance research.
In this episode of Your Stories, the Kaurs reveal their non-traditional approach to marriage and medicine.
Judith, the first doctor to receive a Conquer Cancer grant more than 35 year ago and Alan, who encouraged his wife to go to med school in the 1970s after they’d started their family, teach us that relationships aren’t unlike clinical trials: If the participants are willing to do the work – to closely study their subjects, accept new information, and course correct when prompted by the heart and the mind - the discoveries can change lives.
Judith and Alan Kauer know more than most about the science of long-lasting love, and each use their unique experiences in the cancer community to advance research. In this episode of Your Stories, the Kauers reveal their non-traditional approach to marriage and medicine.
Judith, the first doctor to receive a Conquer Cancer grant more than 35 years ago, and Alan, who encouraged his wife to go to med school in the 1970s after they'd started their family, teach us that relationships aren't unlike clinical trials. If researchers are willing to do the work, to closely study their subjects, accept new information, and course correct when prompted by the heart and the mind, the discoveries can change lives.
You and I have never had a straightforward 52 years together. I met you when I was still a teenager and I was in college. And we got married after I finished graduate school. You were working as an actuary in downtown Chicago, and we thought, OK, I'm a teacher. You're an actuary. That's our life.
But we changed along the way. I supported you in going into that other profession, even though it meant that we were separated for a period of time. You had to go to New York for training. I was teaching school. And so that was the first time that we were sort of a non-traditional pair.
And then everything went along for a couple of years, and we had our daughter, and then I was a stay-at-home mom. And you were very supportive of my thinking about going back to school. But at the time, I had no money. Nobody in my family was a doctor. But you sort of challenged me to think about doing that. Do you remember a little bit about that time?
I was going into work every day, naturally. And when I came home, she always had a scientific book in front of her that she was reading. It was just going on all the time. And one night, I still remember, we sat down in the kitchen and we each had our food in front of us. And I just looked at her, and I said, do you want to be a doctor? And she said yes. And so that settled the discussion. I remember that clear as a bell.
And I said, then fine. If you want to be a medical doctor, why don't you take tomorrow off, drive down to Northwestern University, where you got your master's degree, and talk to the counselors down there and find out what it would take for you to get into medical school.
Back then, you know, in 1975, when I went to Northwestern, they said I was too old to go to medical school, that women, number one, were not being accepted, and many were told women aren't accepted. Number two, it was better if you go straight from college into medical school.
So over the years, seeing today that it's all different-- actually, probably slightly more women go to medical school than men, and many people do make career changes and pick oncology as an exciting field that has not only patient care, but research and education.
She kept applying, and finally she did get accepted into medical school at the University of North Dakota. And then I took care of our daughter, Christa. You finally got out of your training. At the age of 38, you took on your first real job in medicine.
That's right, after I finished my fellowship. And at the end of my fellowship, I
Judith and Alan Kaur know more than most of us about the science of long-lasting love. And they use their unique experiences in the cancer community to advance research.
In this episode of Your Stories, the Kaurs reveal their non-traditional approach to marriage and medicine.
Judith, the first doctor to receive a Conquer Cancer grant more than 35 year ago and Alan, who encouraged his wife to go to med school in the 1970s after they’d started their family, teach us that relationships aren’t unlike clinical trials: If the participants are willing to do the work – to closely study their subjects, accept new information, and course correct when prompted by the heart and the mind - the discoveries can change lives.
Judith and Alan Kauer know more than most about the science of long-lasting love, and each use their unique experiences in the cancer community to advance research. In this episode of Your Stories, the Kauers reveal their non-traditional approach to marriage and medicine.
Judith, the first doctor to receive a Conquer Cancer grant more than 35 years ago, and Alan, who encouraged his wife to go to med school in the 1970s after they'd started their family, teach us that relationships aren't unlike clinical trials. If researchers are willing to do the work, to closely study their subjects, accept new information, and course correct when prompted by the heart and the mind, the discoveries can change lives.
You and I have never had a straightforward 52 years together. I met you when I was still a teenager and I was in college. And we got married after I finished graduate school. You were working as an actuary in downtown Chicago, and we thought, OK, I'm a teacher. You're an actuary. That's our life.
But we changed along the way. I supported you in going into that other profession, even though it meant that we were separated for a period of time. You had to go to New York for training. I was teaching school. And so that was the first time that we were sort of a non-traditional pair.
And then everything went along for a couple of years, and we had our daughter, and then I was a stay-at-home mom. And you were very supportive of my thinking about going back to school. But at the time, I had no money. Nobody in my family was a doctor. But you sort of challenged me to think about doing that. Do you remember a little bit about that time?
I was going into work every day, naturally. And when I came home, she always had a scientific book in front of her that she was reading. It was just going on all the time. And one night, I still remember, we sat down in the kitchen and we each had our food in front of us. And I just looked at her, and I said, do you want to be a doctor? And she said yes. And so that settled the discussion. I remember that clear as a bell.
And I said, then fine. If you want to be a medical doctor, why don't you take tomorrow off, drive down to Northwestern University, where you got your master's degree, and talk to the counselors down there and find out what it would take for you to get into medical school.
Back then, you know, in 1975, when I went to Northwestern, they said I was too old to go to medical school, that women, number one, were not being accepted, and many were told women aren't accepted. Number two, it was better if you go straight from college into medical school.
So over the years, seeing today that it's all different-- actually, probably slightly more women go to medical school than men, and many people do make career changes and pick oncology as an exciting field that has not only patient care, but research and education.
She kept applying, and finally she did get accepted into medical school at the University of North Dakota. And then I took care of our daughter, Christa. You finally got out of your training. At the age of 38, you took on your first real job in medicine.
That's right, after I finished my fellowship. And at the end of my fellowship, I
9 min