100 episodes

Marriage. Real. Fun. Simple.
Because when your marriage is better, everything is better.

Married People Podcas‪t‬ Ted Lowe

    • Kids & Family
    • 4.8 • 66 Ratings

Marriage. Real. Fun. Simple.
Because when your marriage is better, everything is better.

    MP 099: How Do I Lower My Chances of Divorce by 31% and Increase Happiness by a third? (Interview with Dr. Les Parrott)

    MP 099: How Do I Lower My Chances of Divorce by 31% and Increase Happiness by a third? (Interview with Dr. Les Parrott)

    Today we hear from the person who posed and answers that question - Dr. Les Parrott. Les works with his wife, Leslie, to empower marriages all over the world. Dr. Parrott is a renowned psychologist, his wife is a marriage and family therapist and they’re both New York Times bestselling authors. They’ve been featured in USA Today, The New York Times and many others. Les is brilliant on so many levels, this is going to be a great conversation! 
     
    Interview:
     
    You’ve been interviewed a lot, but what people really want to know is what it was like to be on Oprah (1:18) What’s it like for two psychologists to be married? (3:31) What does this season look like for you and Leslie? (6:47) What are some of the things you’re seeing with couples that is unique to this season we’re going through? (8:47) What are some of the positive things you’ve seen couples experience during this time? (12:34) You brought up the question - how do I lower my chances of divorce by 31% and increase happiness by a third?  Can you dive into that? (15:03) Is this assessment one of those moments where the truth will set you free? (21:28) An action plan comes with the Better Love assessment. Tell us about that. (25:16) Each week we leave people with one simple thing. What would you tell them to do? (31:35)  
    RESOURCES:
    Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
    Better Love
     
    We’d love to connect with you on Instagram or Facebook!
     
    This episode was brought to you by the Married People Membership—an affordable, monthly subscription that provides married couples like you a ton of great resources every month to help you do marriage better. That means new date nights, videos, eBooks, messages, and more available to you when you need it - all in one place at one low price. Go to our website to find out more about the Married People Membership.
     
    We hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode!

    • 36 min
    MP 098: How Do We Make Our Marriage Work As A Blended Family?

    MP 098: How Do We Make Our Marriage Work As A Blended Family?

    I’ve invited my friend Ron Deal to tackle this question with us. Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist and is one of the most widely read experts on blended families in the country. He’s the founder of Smart Step Families, the director of Family Life Blended and the creator and author of numerous books on step family living. He and his wife, Nan, have three sons and live in Little Rock, Arkansas. Ron Deal is a wealth of knowledge and has an amazing heart. Join us for this conversation  
     
    Interview:
     
    What has COVID looked like at the Deal house? (1:42) How many families or marriages are impacted by being blended families? (2:54) You did not grow up in a step family. Where did your passion for this come from? (5:08) We need to get real on the tension. When we hear ‘blended family’ we often think Brady Bunch. Is that how they work? (6:40) What are some of the common family dilemmas a blended family may be facing? (11:45) A lot of divorced parents get remarried and they’re doing well. But the kids are the ones feeling like they’re tossed all over the place. Talk to that family. (17:38) I read in your book with Gary Chapman - The 7 Blended Family Principles For Loving Well. Can you share those with us? (26:40) As a step child, what is it like for their parent to take up for the step-parent? (32:04) What are some other blended family principles? (36:57) What is one simple thing blended families could do in the middle of chaos? (45:19) We’re going to give some books away - leave your info in the comments! (47:47)  
    RESOURCES:
    The Smart Step Family
    Building Love Together in Blended Families
    Smart Stepfamilies
    Family Life Blended
    Ron Deal’s website
     
     
    We’d love to connect with you on Instagram or Facebook!
     
    This episode was brought to you by the Married People Membership—an affordable, monthly subscription that provides married couples like you a ton of great resources every month to help you do marriage better. That means new date nights, videos, eBooks, messages, and more available to you when you need it - all in one place at one low price. Go to our website to find out more about the Married People Membership.
     
    We hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode!

    • 48 min
    MP 097: How Do I Connect With My Spouse When We Both Feel Flooded From a Pandemic?

    MP 097: How Do I Connect With My Spouse When We Both Feel Flooded From a Pandemic?

    To help us explore this question, I interview Tim and Pam Elmore. Tim has written a book called The Pandemic Population. Dr. Tim Elmore is the founder and president of Growing Leaders. While Tim was becoming an expert in how to lead the next generation, Pam was putting in the hours in the field of leading their two kids. Tim and Pam have an amazing way of taking research and making it practical and hopeful. I know this is going to really enlighten you. 
     
    Interview:
     
    What does it look like at the Elmore house during pandemic times? (1:23) You say there’s some amazing research about why this is such a tough time for couples. What are you finding in your research? (2:24) Tim, what’s going on in our brains right now? (4:08) Do you ever feel like you’re having moments of an out of body experience? (5:18) Pam, do you have a story for our neuroscientist friends? (7:20) What do you guys think about all the structure that’s been removed - does that play any role in this? (11:34) Give me a couple examples of what these things could look like for couples (15:40) What’s the difference between accepting that these are tough times and normalizing it, versus not taking action? (18:50) Pam, it also feels like guys are fixers and I keep forgetting that during this time. Are you that way - do you just want to feel this instead of being ‘guided’? (20:45) Things are so emotional right now, I think if we can figure out how to practice marriage right now we can have opportunities to try things again. We haven’t had this much tension back-to-back in a long time (25:40) From a faith perspective, how do you see God in the middle of all this chaos? (27:32) We always want to make marriage real, fun and simple. Can you guys speak to the folks listening who don’t have hope right now? (33:30) It feels like we’re triggering each other a lot during these days. Talk to those of us who are in flight or fight mode - what do they do in that moment when they get triggered that will lead to growth later and not damage? (39:36)  
    RESOURCES:
    Growing Leaders
    The Pandemic Population: Eight Strategies to Help Generation Z Rediscover Hope After Coronavirus
     
     
    We’d love to connect with you on Instagram or Facebook!
     
    This episode was brought to you by the Married People Membership—an affordable, monthly subscription that provides married couples like you a ton of great resources every month to help you do marriage better. That means new date nights, videos, eBooks, messages, and more available to you when you need it - all in one place at one low price. Go to our website to find out more about the Married People Membership.
     
    We hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode!

    • 44 min
    MP 096: Do Politics Have To Be Divisive To My Marriage and Other Close Relationships?

    MP 096: Do Politics Have To Be Divisive To My Marriage and Other Close Relationships?

    This may be one of the most sensitive questions we’ve tackled on this podcast. But let me give you some good news when it comes to handling faith and politics in this conversation with Sarah Anderson on her view and approach to this topic. Regardless of where you land politically, I’m so excited she’s able to have that conversation with us. Sarah is a writer and speaker and she currently lives in Roswell, GA with her husband and two boys. Because we’re a podcast devoted to marriage, I’ve invited her husband Rodney to join us for this conversation. 
     
    Interview:
     
    Sarah, talk a little bit about your story - where you grew up and all that stuff (2:34) Rodney, what about you? Give us a little about your growing up (4:13) I know what people are wanting to know now - politically are you two on the same page? (6:21) Sarah, your story is unique and this attitude I hear from you is so fresh and countercultural. But this was birthed long ago when your views started evolving and changing. Take us back to the story of when you started shifting away from your family of origin (9:45) You hit a point of crisis where you didn’t know if you could vote or not vote and you called your parents. (12:37) I’ll ask you this - you said you felt like you had to tell them. What was that birthed out of? (16:15) What is the Jesus-like response in the moments where your convictions take you to anger? (25:32) What’s the line between people who are not going to listen and people who are just brutal. What do you say to those folks? (30:15) What about those listening who say, “this feels really complicated - I’m never going to change their mind and they’re not going to change mine. Why bring it up?” (33:13) You guys share a story I’d love for you to share - about a moment you had about whether to wrap Santa gifts or not to wrap Santa gifts (36:23) I feel like what you’re talking about is throughout the whole book - let’s keep the relationship the most important thing (43:12)  
     
    RESOURCES:
    The Space Between Us: How Jesus Teaches Us To Live Together When Politics And Religion Tear Us Apart
     
    We’d love to connect with you on Instagram or Facebook!
     
    This episode was brought to you by the Married People Membership—an affordable, monthly subscription that provides married couples like you a ton of great resources every month to help you do marriage better. That means new date nights, videos, eBooks, messages, and more available to you when you need it - all in one place at one low price. Go to our website to find out more about the Married People Membership.
     
    We hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode!

    • 45 min
    MP 095: How Does Parenting Adult Children Impact My Empty Nester Marriage?

    MP 095: How Does Parenting Adult Children Impact My Empty Nester Marriage?

    There is no one on the planet I’d rather you hear from on this question than Dr. Jim Burns. Jim is the president of Homeword He speaks all over the world and wrote the book Doing Life With Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut & The Welcome Mat Out. Jim and his wife Cathy live in Southern California and have three grown daughters and two grandchildren. Whether you’re an empty nester or not, you’re going to get a lot of encouragement out of this conversation with Dr. Jim Burns. 
     
    Interview:
     
    One of the questions we get is that people hear a lot about navigating life with littles or teens, but there’s not a ton of stuff out there about empty nesters. Talk to us a little about the tensions empty nesters feel (2:10) I’ve heard you say before that you and Cathy have a “high maintenance marriage”. What does that mean and how does that tie into being an empty nester? (4:37) Speak to the empty nesters where the kids have left and they’re trying to find their way as a couple (8:46) What are some of the questions or topics you would give to an empty nester couple to ask each other? (14:53) We talk a lot on this podcast about ‘micro moves’ - tiny things that mean big things. It may even be asking if you’ve affirmed your spouse lately (22:06) Our question is “how does parenting adult children impact my empty nester marriage?” How does parenting adult children create tensions? (25:36) I’ve seen a lot of couples need permission to not bring things up or to let things go (28:58) How does having your kids move back in with you impact couples? (30:36) I’ve heard you say that adult children hear opinions as advice - is that right? (34:40) What do you say to the couple who says they made an agreement with the kids, and they see their spouse become lenient about it (or the other way around)? (35:51) You have so many principles and you’ve talked about so many amazing things but if you’re speaking to empty nesters, what is one simple thing they could do today? (40:08) If you were to point empty nesters to one of your resources, which one would that be? (41:19)  
     
     
    RESOURCES:
    Doing Life With Your Adult Children 
     
    We’d love to connect with you on Instagram or Facebook!
     
    This episode was brought to you by the Married People Membership—an affordable, monthly subscription that provides married couples like you a ton of great resources every month to help you do marriage better. That means new date nights, videos, eBooks, messages, and more available to you when you need it - all in one place at one low price. Go to our website to find out more about the Married People Membership.
     
    We hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode!

    • 43 min
    MP 094: How do I handle my spouse’s pet peeves? [RE AIR]

    MP 094: How do I handle my spouse’s pet peeves? [RE AIR]

    What do we do when our spouse is doing something that’s driving us crazy? One of the definitions we found is, "minor complaint or irritation that’s more annoying to you than anyone else." We’re not talking about deeper level things, just those little things that drive you nuts.
     
    We found a list of the most common pet peeves:
     
    Toilet seat left up Driving distracted by electronic devices Empty cartons put back in the fridge Leaving clothes on the floor or on a chair in the bedroom Whistling Your spouse telling the same joke over and over and expecting you to laugh Leaving trash in the car Not asking for directions or using the GPS Falling asleep on the sofa instead of going to bed Not putting your keys in the place where you go to get the keys Chewing with your mouth open at the table Chronic lateness Taking the covers at night Squeezing the toothpaste from the wrong part of the tube Leaving stuff in your clothes pockets when it goes to the laundry  
    Ted and Nancie Lowe Text Exchange
    Ted: We are talking about pet peeves on the podcast tomorrow. What is something I do that drives you nuts? This is the minor stuff, not the big stuff. Nancie: That sounds like a question designed to hurt somebody’s feelings (especially mine). Ted: You don’t have any and I’m not mentioning them. But I can mention my own.... so what are they my love. Nancie: You break rules. Ted: That hurts my feelings.  
    So what do we actually do with pet peeves?
     
    A lot of times there is ‘Misattribution’ - This is when you attribute something to the wrong thing or person. You aren’t really the frustration with your spouse; you are frustrated by work and yet attribute to your spouse. It’s thinking, “I feel all this because of them”, not realizing your ‘tank of frustration’ may already be full and it comes out on these small things. On the opposite side is ‘Affective Association’. They did a study where they brought in couples over a few weeks and showed one group images of their spouse interspersed with beautiful things. The other group saw their spouse and then a slide show of neutral images. All the people who saw the first slide show ranked their marriage higher than when they started.  
     
    The Truth: How we handle pet peeves matters because silly fights can cause serious damage.
     
    Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
     
    You can choose to let a pet peeve go or you can talk to them in a way that is loving and encouraging.  We all know we do some things that drive our spouse crazy and we want to be treated this way. How you do this depends on your relationship – it may be playful or more serious. For some people, the humor really helps. For others it may just be talking about it in a softer way.
     
    Your one simple thing for this week: When it comes to your spouse’s pet peeves, there are some things you can drop and some things you have to say. But do both in truth and grace. You could start by asking your spouse for one thing that you do that drives them crazy. Then be brave enough to take it.
     
    Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better.
     
    We want to hear from you. Share with us on Facebook, Instagram or our site.  If you want more resources, check out Your Best Us.
     
    Finally, we hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode!

    • 44 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
66 Ratings

66 Ratings

JoshCrist ,

Empowering, insightful and actionable! 🔥

Whether you’re well along on your marriage journey, or just getting started cultivating a loving and fulfilling partnership - this is a must-listen podcast for you! Ted and the entire Married People team do an incredible job leading conversations that cover a huge breadth of topics related to the ins and outs of nurturing a thriving marriage and life you can be proud of - with leaders who’ve actually walked the path. Highly recommend listening and subscribing!

S&K07 ,

Exceptional content

Whether it is finances, romance, communication, date ideas, or hot topics for this current generation, MarriedPeople puts together an amazing set speakers to help nudge you further in your marriage.

robinlilly423 ,

Great advice but could use a check on the female

This is with love and empathy but the girl won’t take anything seriously, is critical and judgmental in her poking fun, and basically has a God complex in coming off as her way is the right way about parenting. That would make me not even try as the other member of her team

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