Manhood, Purpose, Masculinity, Intimacy … Love? Join Bryan Reeves, Air Force Captain turned renowned Life Coach, on the search for wise, powerful, heart-connected men who can show us the essentials for living a truly masterful life as Men.
Don’t Overthink It w/ Sylvester McNutt III (067)
Are you addicted to overthinking? (like I am)
How do you know what to say yes to, or no to?
Do you understand the essential importance of being in a men’s group?
In this episode, my guest is author Sylvester McNutt III.
I loved this conversation with Sylvester. In fact, this conversation felt more like a meditation for me, personally. My lady Silvy Khoucasian turned me on to Sylvester’s work – she cautioned me, you and Sylvester are gonna get along swimmingly – and he’s a deep soul, and you’re both gonna wanna go deep. And she was right.
Sylvester is a mega selling author of 8 books – and I know this because his books have thousands of reviews on Amazon – inspiring titles such as Lust For Life (Oct. 2017) Care Package: A Path To Deep Healing (Jun 2018) Free Your Energy:The Path to Freedom, Mental Clarity, and a Life of Enjoyment (May 2019), and more.
Our conversation covered a healthy swath of topics, from overthinking to the importance of forgiving our fathers to the masculine joy of doing nothing (which is what meditation CAN be if we allow it), to how we can listen to the body’s wisdom to determine what to say yes to, and no to, and much more.
Note: One thing podcasters often do is remove all spaces from an interview. Because we want to make sure you’re attention isn’t given an opportunity to get bored. But I’m a bit thoughtful about that and allow some space, as in this interview when Sylvester would pause for a few seconds after I asked him a question, he’d close his eyes and let inspiration speak through him. I respect that. I like that. I think it can make for a truly inspired conversation, and so when there’s silence in this interview for a few seconds, don’t check to see if it stopped playing; just enjoy the silence, and the wisdom that comes with it.
So definitely stay tuned all the way through to Sylvester’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way …
One more thing, my new book, “CHOOSE HER EVERYDAY OR LEAVE HER” recently hit #12 on Amazon in the Dating genre. Overnight it shot up from 59,000th in all sales to 1600th in all sales. Now, I have no idea what any of that really means, except that it means people are buying it and reading it and word is spreading and they’re getting real value out of it … “Choose Her Every Day Or Leave Her” – essential reading for any man or woman who genuinely wants to thrive in intimacy. Go get it online wherever you buy your books.
Take a deep breath, and stay present with us, all the way through to the end of this episode of Men, This Way …
Let’s dive …
Sylvester’s Official Website
When Men Don’t Grow Up … Everyone Suffers (066)
Do you prefer the fantasy of relationship to the reality of it?
Does relationship seem like an ongoing problem (you have yet to solve)?
Could it be that …. we men have been set up to fail in love?
Recently, I got an excited call from one of my closest friends. Tait. Tait is actually the man with whom I am currently co-leading “Elevate 2021” the coaching journey for men that we are now smack dab in the midst of with 11 men. We’re having an amazing time with these men, regularly diving into real, raw, vulnerable conversations with each other, exploring new insights, empowering distinctions, and new life practices all in the service of discovering what it really means, for each of us, to thrive in life, as men.
Side note – before I tell you why Tait was so excited when he called me – in the next few months, perhaps even as you’re listening to this right now, we are finally opening up more opportunities for more men to join the Elevate experience, and step into actually living The 5 Pillars of a Thriving Man … Intimacy. Purpose. Spirituality. Family. Brotherhood. Go to bryanreeves.com/elevate for details. Though depending on when you hear this, you might see the page for our current ELEVATE 2021 coaching adventure, which is full, but if you’re listening to this episode a bit after it’s been published, then you may indeed see a new invitation to participate. If you do, do not hesitate! You are not supposed to figure out your life alone. And you are not alone in the challenges and struggles you face as a man. While your unique path in life is yours alone to discover and choose, you are not supposed to walk that path alone, and certainly not without other inspired and wise men by your side to help you find your way. That is what is at the core of the ELEVATE experience for men. We are men challenging and supporting each other to find each our own way into the thriving, beautiful, mature manhood that is our birthright!
www.bryanreeves.com/elevate is the link. Check it out.
Now, back to Tait’s excitement!
Tait had just listened to a weekly live broadcast I do on Instagram and Facebook, called Wisdom Wednesdays … I mostly do it weekly but I also sometimes just need a damn rest and will take a wednesday off, but anyway he had just listened to a live broadcast I did with a few hundred people – mostly women – in which the main topic was, “Why do Grown Men Ghost Women?” …
Well, Tait was just blown away by what I shared during that broadcast, and he insisted I turn it into a podcast episode.
He’s one of the smartest and most discerning men I know, so I listened to him. This episode is that live broadcast. Now, I believe I’ve edited out most of what might make a straight rebroadcast of an IG live annoying – like awkward delays and pauses and reading off people’s comments that don’t make any damn sense – so I think you’ll really enjoy this.
Whether or not you think ghosting by itself is an interesting subject, what I really dive into is the stuck adolescence that many men unknowingly find ourselves in, and why that contributes to our very real and persisting struggles in intimacy. I explore some key psychological differences between a boy and a man. I reference that 1980s movie, Weird Science, where two teenage boys literally invent a “perfect woman” with a computer.
I dive into really so much depth in just 40 minutes, and I do read off many of the comments – particularly from women – that are pertinent to the topic, and I think we men really need to hear what women experience in our presence. And it’s often faaaar easier to hear difficult truths from a woman you don’t know, than from the one you are intimate with. Reminds me of the time I finally heard everything an ex-girlfriend had been desperately trying to communicate to me for 5 years … I finally heard
The Journey of Soul Initiation w/ Bill Plotkin (065)
What does it look like to live a truly authentic life? Not just the way some 22-year old tik-tok’er might tell you to live “authentically” … but I mean to live daily connected to the your soul’s deepest purpose for living? … What does THAT kind of life look like?
Perhaps more importantly, how do you actually step into living a soul-centric life?
In this episode, my guest is the visionary depth psychologist and wilderness guide, Bill Plotkin.
Now, listen up. This episode is like no other. Bill is one of the most genius and inspired visionaries you’ve probably never heard of.
He’s the author of a few books that have been rocking my world the last few years, notably, Nature and The Human Soul, and now his latest book, The Journey of Soul Initiation: A Field Guide for Visionaries, Evolutionaries, and Revolutionaries.
I’m serious when I say listen up … this may be the most important podcast episode I ever create. I love all my guests, and what particularly excites me about Bill Plotkin, is that when I first read his book, Nature and The Human Soul, I felt like what the Israelites must have felt like when Moses came back from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments.
Not that Bill has brought back commandments of any sort, but through his work spanning probably 5 decades now, as a depth psychologist, wilderness guide, and founder of western Colorado’s Animas Valley Institute, where he has led thousands of women and men through nature-based initiatory passages, what he HAS brought back is a map of human development that I believe to be as all encompassing as any map modern day humanity has discovered. Building on Carl Jung’s work, and the work of countless other brilliant hearts and minds spanning a myriad of human cultures, when I read Bill’s work, I understand more clearly the adventure of my life, the story arcs that have played out, the excruciating bottoms I’ve hit at critical and pivotal moments of my life, and what the real tasks of the different stages of life are that, if I don’t accomplish those tasks, then I don’t truly grow or evolve, even though my body may age. In fact, this is one of the major themes throughout Bill’s work – which I assure you is a MASTER work; his books are just masterpieces of wisdom and insight and practical information – but a major theme he explores, and that we talk about in this episode, is the overwhelming lack of true adults in the modern world, the state of humanity as one currently made up largely of people stuck in adolescent ways of thinking, being, and doing. It’s certainly not hard to make the case for that these days; just read the news or scroll through your social media feed. You may not be able to quite put a finger on it, but something constantly nags at you that the world around you is largely devoid of real wisdom and nuance and maturity.
Bill’s masterfully explains why this is, and at a depth far beyond politics, and opinions, and even philosophy.
Bill’s work is sourced from nature, itself. And I mean that both poetically, and literally!
Look, I can’t possibly articulate to you how important and thorough his work is. Today he and I talk about perhaps the most critical phase of a life journey, The Journey of Soul Initiation. Bill might say all the phases of a life journey are critical, that you can’t grow beyond one stage until you successfully complete the tasks of that phase. I actually don’t know exactly what he’d say to that, and I don’t ask him in this conversation, but The Journey of Soul Initiation, is, according to Bill’s model of eco-centric human development,...
Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her) – Part Two (064)
Do you struggle with intimate relationship?
Do you have a hard time choosing your partner every … single … day?
Do you ever feel UNCHOSEN by your intimate partner?
This episode is a bit unusual in that it’s actually a rebroadcast of another podcast I was recently featured on, The Art of Authenticity, hosted by my friend, Laura Coe.
Typically, I reserve this podcast for wisdom conversations amongst men, not because I want to exclude women – God no! Shoot to be straight up with you, truth is I know far more women I consider to be wise than I do men! This podcast would be EASIER to produce if I brought in women, and I will almost surely do that eventually – but that’s exactly WHY I have so far reserved this space for conversations between men, because I believe the world desperately NEEDS more men to be having more of these kinds of real, raw, vulnerable conversations amongst men who have cultivated maturity and depth and insight through real life experience.
But Laura is a brilliant woman and an amazing host of her podcast, and I really enjoyed her ability to conduct an amazing conversation around my new book, “Choose Her Every Day Or Leave Her” … so I decided this would be a perfect way of bringing you deeper into the experience of this book, including a breakdown of some of its core insights and distinctions.
I highly recommend diving into “Choose Her Every Day Or Leave Her” whether you’re a man or a woman, in a relationship or single, because you’ll learn many of the secrets that should never be secrets!!! to creating exquisite intimacy with another, and with yourself, too. I certainly wish I knew these things 20 years ago; so much suffering – both for me and for many others – could have been averted! It’s available on most major book retailers’ websites, including Amazon, and you can also find links to buy the book on my website at bryanreeves.com/book …
One last thing, the audio is a little funky in places, but I’m a bit fanatic about these things; you might not even notice.
So, take a deep breath, and stay present with us, all the way through to the end of the rebroadcast of Laura Coe’s “Art of Authenticity” on this episode of Men, This Way …
Let’s dive …
Choose Her Every Day Or Leave Her (The Book)
Are You Being Authentic … Or Just A Jerk? w/ Dr. Aziz (063)
What does it (really) mean to be authentic?
How can you know when you’re being authentic, or just being a jerk?
Are you aware that your thoughts may be lying to you, actually preventing you from being authentic?
In this episode, my guest is Dr. Aziz Gazipura, the founder of The Social Confidence Center, author of a number of books on building confidence and breaking through social anxiety.
Truth is, I didn’t really know what to expect in our conversation today, because Dr Aziz is another man who’s work I wasn’t that familiar with. One thing I want you to know, my dear listener, is that this podcast, “Men, This Way,” is an act of service, a “heartwork” borne of the depths of my own soul’s yearning. I intend for it to be a carrier of wisdom. And as such, my conversations with guests are honest, real inquiries into a person’s experiences and life lessons, vulnerable explorations into the events and forces that have shaped their lives – and mine – as men.
This is not merely a platform to sell expertise, or workshops, or books, although we will sometimes talk about those things.
I get a lot of inquiries from men (and many women, too) to be guests. I don’t say yes to most of them, because I treat your listening as sacred, and my time as precious. There are plenty of podcasts that dive into someone’s “expertise” and the “life-hacks” they want to teach you.
We’ll offer some of that here, but these are wisdom conversations. Wisdom conversations don’t always – or perhaps ever – end with firm conclusions to life’s most enduring questions. Instead, a wisdom conversation opens up new doors of perception and possibility. They offer insight, and often they’ll offer even more inspired questions, to help light the path forward for your journey through life.
I really enjoyed my conversation with Dr. Aziz. He is clearly a man who is continuing to evolve and grow and deepen his own capacity to be of true service to the world.
He is a clinical psychologist who serves people through his books, videos, coaching, trainings, and his own podcast, as well, to break through challenges around confidence and social anxiety.
Like most of my episodes we cover a wide range of topics in this one, though we center around the question of authenticity – what does it look like, feel like, sound like, to BE authentic – as well as what does it NOT look like, feel like, or sound like. So even if you don’t think you struggle with confidence or social anxiety, I encourage you to listen through this episode, for this exploration around “what is authenticity” is an essential one for any man – or woman – who would live a truly fulfilling life.
One more thing, my new book is now out, “CHOOSE HER EVERYDAY OR LEAVE HER” “ A Guide For your journey through the transformational fires of love and intimacy. IT’s an anthology of my teaching stories, enlightening insights, practical tools, and secrets to creating extraordinary relationship (that should never be secrets!) in one beautifully bound and buttery red book that you can now own as you continue your own journey to thriving in love and intimacy. Get free domestic US shipping when you buy it @ https://bryanreeves.com/book …. If you are international, or like using Amazon, you can now order it in many more places around the world, including KOBO in Canada, and Kindle anywhere you have access to that. It’s also available on Barnes & Nobles and more and more platforms. “Choose Her Every Day Or Leave Her” – essential reading for any man or woman who genuinely wants to thrive in intimacy.
Alright, back to my episode with Dr. Aziz Gazipura … Take a deep breath, and stay present with us all the way through to Dr. Aziz’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way …
Let’s dive …
The Magic of Surrender w/ Kute Blackson (062)
Do you really think you’re in control of your life?
Do you ever feel stuck or stagnant, or like no matter how hard you grind, true happiness and fulfillment seem always just out of reach?
What if the fulfillment you seek, only comes through the practice of surrender?
In this episode, my guest, Kute Blackson, and I mine these questions and more for useful insights to make a meaningful difference in your life.
Kute is a return guest to the show. Kute and I have been friends for many years now, and I always love the rich experience of being in conversation with the wisdom being that is Kute.
Kute has just come out with a new book, The Magic of Surrender.
This practice of Surrender is one of the core practices I’ve been exploring for many years in my own life. There are so many myths and misunderstandings about what it means to live surrendered, and I’m excited to explore some of those with Kute today.
Kute is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He is author of the national bestselling book You.Are.The.One. and his new book, The Magic of Surrender. He has been featured on Larry King Now, Fox and Friends, Dr. Drew, and Inc magazine once called him ‘The Mindfulness Guru Billionaires Go To For Advice’.
In this episode, Kute and I talk about what people misunderstand about the practice of surrender, how to know when you are NOT practicing genuine surrender, why the ability to properly grieve is so important, how to actually practice surrender … and so much more. Oh, we also talk about the tendency to want our intimate partner’s to do any surrendering before we do – which usually kinda sounds like, “babe, will you just do everything the way I want you to so being with you is easier for me?” … and how obviously that never goes well!
Let’s dive …
Kute’s Book: The Magic Of Surrender
Powerful roadmap for living a life with freedom
Bryan shares wisdom and a wide range of perspectives for men to live deeper and more meaningful life. He is a vulnerable, courageous and present host that brings the best out of his guests. This podcast is a powerful roadmap for living a fulfilling life.
I grew up without a dad and I’ve had to figure out what it means to be a man in this world by myself mostly just guessing and figuring it out as I go
But every time Bryan speaks... it’s like I’m given a lens into what it means to be a man that I’ve always needed and never had.
This podcast is so deeply rooted in truth, experience, and heart that it’s unmatched in anything else I’ve ever seen.
He doesn’t just dump “information” on you... he immerses you in real time experience and expertise.
I’m a full yes to this podcast and to this man.
Thanks Bryan great podcast
Bryan brings wisdom and great perspectives on navigating our challenges as men in a particularly strange era that were all living in. So much heart from this guy, I would highly recommend this to any man!