Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fai‪n‬ Karlee Fain

February is boundary month, so for the past few episodes, we’ve been exploring every facet of breaking, bridging, building, and most importantly, including ourselves in our boundary practice.
A big part of that work hangs in the vicinity of fear. We’re afraid of how we’ll be perceived if we ask for what we need. We think it’s easier to just say “ok”.  
But saying “ok” only ends up being more work for you. 
How do we bridge the boundaries we need without letting fear get in the way?
It starts with really understanding the nature of boundaries. 
When we’re afraid to set a boundary, it’s often because we question our authority to create it. We may be blocked by an absence of privilege or a lack of inclusivity. 
Today, Karlee welcomes Faith Clarke for an eye-opening conversation about boundaries, inclusion, support, and conflict. Faith is the best-selling author of  Parenting Like a Ninja: An Autism Mom's Guide to Professional Productivity. From her experience as a computer programer on Wall Street, to raising a child with Autism, she’s discovered a fascination with human motivation and performance psychology. Faith is the co-founder and CEO of Melody of Autism, an educational organization that helps other families with autistic children.
Her experience raising a child with needs that differ from the normative construct shed a light on how this construct really isn’t working for most people. Human beings thrive in environments that allow for connection, so we need to offer a more robust network of support. 
Building a better world means normalizing asking for what we want without fear.
It’s time to stop wasting energy on coping, and recognize that when we create a safe place for humans to be exactly who they are, we all thrive.
If you’re ready to embrace inclusivity, starting with yourself, then this episode is for you! 
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why winter is the time for a deep dive, not a lift-off (8:58)How fear holds us captive from asking for what we want (12:37)Acknowledging how and when we’re coping (17:40)Eliminating the categories we create around “support” (22:00)Learning through slowing down (34:57)Two signs that your ready for more inclusivity (37:02)Why conflict is actually constructive (43:17)The link between boundaries and power dynamics (48:13)Why inclusion needs to come before diversity (59:36)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode: 
Enroll In The Boundary Academy before Feb 26th HERE
Book: Parenting Like a Ninja: An Autism Mom's Guide to Professional Productivity by Faith Clarke
Video: Last Week’s Boundary Brunch
Episode 58: Being Lied To? The 4 Types of Power and What to Do When What Someone Says, And What They Do, Are Differen‪t‬
Connect With Faith Clark:
LinkedIn
Connect With Karlee: 
Website
LinkedIn
Instagram
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media. 

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“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
Sometimes when our agenda goes off-track, we can default to viewing it as a disruption. But, if we change our perspective and become open to the flow of the collective conscience, the greatest gifts are waiting to be revealed. 
The contents of this episode are one of those gifts. 
When conversation is given the space to flow organically, you can hit on something powerful that’s been lying dormant. Through sisterhood and the collective embrace of vulnerability, that thought can finally break out of the mind and into the conversation. 
“Who am I in the world?”
This profound question surfaced recently in one of Karlee’s professional circles, and in today’s episode, she’s sharing that conversation with you. This episode features the wisdom of the Council of Boundary Makers, the advisory and support group helping to shape Karlee’s upcoming Boundary Academy. 
If we want to create healthy boundaries in our own lives, we can’t do that fully without flipping the coin and considering the boundaries of others that we, ourselves, might be stretching too far, or overstepping completely.
We have to become boundary allies. And that alliance starts with acknowledgment. 
It begins with truly looking at the ethics of being a human being on this planet. The very land we occupy can often have an unknown history buried beneath it. The people we love can have beliefs sitting within them that are so contrary to our own that we don’t know how to feel about it. We might think we know how to right the wrongs when we actually don’t understand the nature of the problem at all. 
“Where have I allowed harm to occur through not paying attention to something that was important?”
If you’re ready to live the questions and be a humble, participatory student of grace, then this episode is for you. 
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
The boundary bridge between doing it all and being a source of support (7:26)Coming to terms with the realities of our roots (16:16)How the boundaries we set for ourselves actually serve the greater good (18:27)Acknowledging our complex histories and contributing to the conversation (22:01)How to be a student of grace (27:21)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode: 
Boundaries Like A Boss - FREE Course
Episode 65: Feel Like Your Life Isn’t Your Own? How Women Are Building Bridges and Setting Boundaries Like a Bos‪s‬
Episode 66: Boundary Bravery: How Women are Giving Themselves Permission to Set Boundaries with Amy Ziegert
Connect With Karlee: 
Website
LinkedIn
Instagram
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.  

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

RSVP for the Boundary Brunch Live with Karlee on Feb 12th
Have you ever had a moment where you’ve wondered to yourself “Am I worthy of what this world has to offer?”
If this thought has ever crossed your mind, don’t worry. You’re not crazy, you’re not unworthy, and you’re definitely not alone. This sentiment is all too common for women, especially those of us who are driven and drawn towards positions of leadership. 
We get to where we wanna be, but then, somehow, we still manage to get tripped up now and then by obstacles that seem to pile up along the path. Before we know it, we’re not moving so effortlessly anymore. It’s a struggle to keep moving when there are so many hands pulling on our coat-tails. 
 Eventually, we start to wonder where all of these commitments came from, and why we let so many of them latch onto us in the first place. 
When we allow ourselves to be overburdened with all the “yes’s”, it starts to build a wall. 
Removing bricks from that wall takes bravery. A lot of it. We actually have to write ourselves permission slips just to relieve ourselves of the guilt. Only then can we make room for what gives us life. So, how do we start? Well, first you need a solid foundation. 
This month, we’re focusing on how you can create a sturdy foundation that finally gives you the permission you need to create boundaries before guilt starts to weigh you down. 
Karlee’s guest today is Amy Ziegert, a Fortune 200 sales and strategy professional who helps women lean into their fullest potential. She’s also the host of a new and fabulous podcast called Bravefull, where she highlights the ceiling-shattering women who have been brave risk-takers in their own lives and careers. 
In this episode, Karlee and Amy talk candidly about knowing when it’s time to jump from situations that aren’t serving you, and how to finally issue yourself that permission slip to set the boundaries you need. Amy explains how you can create your own “boundary budget” so you can keep track of emotional debits and credits, and how to use that as the basis for knowing when it’s time to create a boundary or make a change. 
Let’s not wait until the next super crisis to start elevating our boundaries. Learn how to catch those potential potholes early, and save yourself from having to do that eventual roadwork.
If you’re ready to access your inner boundary-maker and become bravefull, then this episode is for you! 
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
What writing yourself a permission slip looks like (8:29)Summoning bravery by stepping into who you really are (11:16)Taking action at that moment of reckoning (15:35)Building bridges versus building walls (19:44)The contrasting motivations for power (24:45)Creating a boundary budget (38:50)Why messiness is a virtue (42:26)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode: 
Register for the Boundary Brunch on Feb 12th!
Podcast: Bravefull with Amy Ziegert
Website: Bravefull
Boundaries Like A Boss - FREE Course
Episode 65: Feel Like Your Life Isn’t Your Own? How Women Are Building Bridges and Setting Boundaries Like a Boss
Episode 17: Being Self-Full: How to get what you need without being selfish
Connect With Amy Ziegert:
Twitter
Instagram
Connect With Karlee: 
Website
LinkedIn
Instagram
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

RSVP for the Boundary Brunch Live with Karlee on Feb 12th
Ever feel like your spirit is running on empty? Sure, you tick every box on your to-do list, and yes, it gives you a sense of accomplishment. But, you’re just not feeling…. nourished. You’re too busy ticking all the boxes to stop and think about what makes you tick. 
Sounds like you might have a boundary problem.
The same way we update our phones and our computer software, we have to keep our boundaries up to date. Every once in a while, we have to re-boot. And for humans, that means re-establishing our boundaries so we don’t burn-out.
Boundaries are at the core of everything that women who do well in the world understand. If we’re not taking care of them, we’re not taking care of ourselves. Broken boundaries can manifest in little bursts and blow-ups when we don't mean it. They can deteriorate relationships. They can actually make us sick and form the root of chronic health problems. 
When boundaries need building, bridges lead the way. 
In this episode, Karlee shares her favorite b-word...boundaries. She’ll reveal the signs of overwhelm that result from a collapsed boundary, and equip you with the tools you need to repair and reinforce what needs safeguarding. You’ll also learn how to outwit the three myths that scare us away from actually setting those boundaries.
A life without boundaries is a life that is not your own. It’s time to build a bridge that will reconnect you with yourself, and re-establish the boundaries that make “you” thrive.
If you’re ready to start with the small steps and build the bridges that will make you feel a little lighter, then this episode is for you. 
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
What happens when the levee stays broken (1:06)Symptoms that you’re ready for a boundary upgrade (8:11)3 boundary myths and what works better(12:08)What bridge-building looks like (15:29)Calculating the cost of boundaries, and thinking outside of the box (21:06)The virtues of a boundary maker (24:41)Resources Mentioned In This Episode: 
RSVP To Attend Karlee's Live Boundary Brunch (on Zoom)
FREE Access to Karlee's Boundaries Like A Boss Online Course
Bridge Built to Bend, Not Break, During an Earthquake
Episode 32: Curing the Knee Jerk “Yes”: Doable Boundaries That Will Set You Free with Nancy Levin
Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free: The Ultimate Guide to Telling the Truth, Creating Connection, and Finding Freedom by Nancy Levin 
Connect With Karlee: 
Website
LinkedIn
Instagram
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media. 

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

GET FREE INSTANT ACCESS to the ELEVATE WITH "AND" GUIDE Karlee mentions on this episode
You’re scrolling through your phone, and the news is (as always) a never-ending cycle of doom and gloom. So, you close that app, make yourself a cup of tea, light your favorite smelly candle, and cozy up on the couch. 
Just when you’ve settled in, your phone pings with an unpleasant email from a co-worker, or another “breaking-news story”. Uggghhh. Why can’t the world just leave me alone?!?!
Our instinct is to feel the negativity of that moment; to let it run through our bodies and change our behavior. And ohhhhhh...the amount of guilt we’d feel if we just ignored it. 
Enough already. 
In times like these, when your willpower is waning, it’s time to call upon your waypower. 
We all know that the big issues the world is facing today aren’t quick-fixes. But, it’s entirely possible to acknowledge the challenging parts and still summon the good parts.
In today’s episode, Karlee reveals why willpower alone won’t get you over the humps in life. If you want to meet the challenges of today, and prep yourself for challenges yet to come, you have to be ready to face the world as one whole, unified being. 
Because humans aren’t fragmented. If we want to be sustainable, we have to know how to balance the lows by reaching for the highs. 
If this message rings a bell, then you’ve been paying attention. 
It’s time to connect the dots and revisit our very first episode of Messy & Magnificent: One Word That Will Elevate Everything You Do. It feels especially poignant these days as we’re witnessing so many changes that feel big and beyond the grasp of our own, individual control. 
We need to be reminded of what women have relied on for centuries: our waypower. 
Waypower is that ancestral resilience that rests within our bones until it’s called upon. It’s that superpower that’s gonna get us through the tough moments, over the unforeseen humps, and high-five us the other side. 
If you’re feeling the weight of the world right now and looking for a little hope to grasp onto, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
The most common characteristic of the driven people Karlee works with (9:39)When transformation happens (11:32)How to unify your whole being (14:46)The difference between willpower and waypower (16:15)Karlee’s waypower warrior (17:33)The power of AND (20:05)How positive psychology helps us bounce back (23:33)Traversing our swamps and ponds together (25:17)Karlee’s personal moment of calling on her waypower (32:40)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode: 
GET FREE INSTANT ACCESS to the "ELEVATE WITH AND GUIDE" Karlee mentions on this episode
Episode 1: One Word That Will Elevate Everything You Do
Episode 2: Nobody really gets you? How to upgrade your adult relationships
People Mentioned in This Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Connect With Karlee: 
Website
LinkedIn
Instagram
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.  

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

There’s a stack of unanswered emails mounting in your inbox and more than a few text messages that you’ve pushed aside for “later”. There are calls you need to make, deadlines relentlessly flying out the window, and you’re living off of peanut butter and celery because you haven’t been to the grocery store in two weeks. 
How did it get to this point? You’re successful. You’re the one who always has her s**t together. 
Unfortunately, having it “together” doesn’t make you immune to OVERWHELM.
On top of it all, it’s hard to forget that it’s not just your world that’s being rocked right now. We’ve got bigger issues. There’s a pandemic that’s been raging for nearly a year, we just witnessed an attempted coup at the White House, and the threads of systemic racism and white supremacy are being exposed so vividly that being too “busy” or “uninformed” to address them won’t pass anymore. 
Ok, take a moment. Pause. Deep breath. We got you.
In this episode, Karlee is gonna help bring you down from the ledge. She’ll talk about the two most common extremist beliefs that almost all high achievers share, and how you can save yourself from the resulting feelings of overwhelm. She’ll also tell you how these very beliefs tie into the history of white supremacy. Finally, you’ll hear about a tried and true antidote that her clients have found to be the most effective way to get unstuck from that all too common feeling of “too much”. 
Throw your hands in the air, fall into a comfy chair, and let out your most powerful exhale of submission. It’s not ok, and we can do something about that. In fact, acknowledging what isn’t ok is our starting point for moving forward. 
Next comes rest. Recoup from that pressure you’ve been bearing. Tend to what needs to be acknowledged. Be real. Get vulnerable. Then, we get back out there, together.
We all know that self-care is essential, but we also know that it can’t come at the expense of progress. 
Take the time you need. But remember that we have to nurture each other by supporting the collective community. If we sink too deep into our own comfort, we get stuck, and others will pay the price for our inaction. 
If you’re ready to look at the world differently, find focus, and off-load that feeling of overwhelm once and for all, then this episode is for you. 
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
How our desire for comfort is sabotaging our need for connection (6:38)Becoming a true kind of pioneer for change (8:42)How being hyper-self-focused can become self-destructive (14:10)Why extremism, in all of its forms, causes fragmenting (15:37)The antidote to overwhelm (20:02)Voices with insights and answers in the space of diversity, equity, and inclusion (21:37)Why quick-fixes don’t work in the long run (23:13)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode: 
Parenting Like a Ninja: An Autism Mom's Guide to Professional Productivity by Faith Clarke
The Conscious Kid
People Mentioned in This Episode:
Faith Clark- The Melody of Autism on Facebook
Debra Kaufman
Luvvie Ajayi
Brittany Packnett 
Alicia Garza
Brené Brown
Connect With Karlee: 
Website
LinkedIn
Instagram
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.  

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.