New Rankings with Teddy‪!‬ Teddy Steinkellner

What was the scariest moment in a movie this year? Who was the most typecast actor? Which film was the most overrated? It's time to hand out the only movie awards that matter: the Teddies and the Jakies! Teddy welcomes Jake Longstreth back onto New Rankings to celebrate the very best films of 2017 (and also The Book of Henry, and also 47 Meters Down), plus they answer some other pressing questions along the way: Which actors won this year's Adam Driver award for "so ugly they're actually hot"? Was that firefighter movie (Only the Brave) just Republican porn, or was it actually kinda good? And why did Teddy mysteriously quit Boy Scouts as a youth? Why?!

Teddy welcomes back New Rankings film correspondent and James-Cameron-action-figure owner Kevin Best (Sequel Rewrite podcast) for a James-Cameron-movie-length discussion of the top 10 movies of 2017. Some of the films discussed include Coco, Logan, Kedi, Get Out, some cannibal movie that Kevin liked, The Florida Project, the season finale of Nathan for You, and of course, The Book of Henry. Additional conversations include: Why did all of the women on Wonder Woman's island speak in that weird, pseudo-Israeli accent? How come Lady Bird didn't feature a plot line related to the 2002 Sacramento Kings? And did Daniel Day-Lewis allow pennies on the set of Lincoln?
NOTE: The audio goes crackly for some of the second half of the episode. Also the first draft of this episode had two weird, Watergate-style ten-minute gaps of silence. Apologies for these inconveniences, but we have a new microphone now, so moving forward everything should be good!

Teddy got a new hat, and it's all he really wants to talk about anymore. On this New Rankings, he welcomes Emma back to predict the top ten hottest fashion trends of 2018, but mostly they just admire his hat. Additional topics of discussion include: the shockingly sustained relevance of the Big Dog brand, the "Coachella meets Renaissance Fair" look, the return of the dickprint, and 2018's color of the year -- it's brown, baby! Oh, and also, this is pretty cool: Teddy got a new hat.

Are you ready for some footbaw??? Just in time for the NFL playoffs (playoffs?!), Teddy welcomes his best man Jake Longstreth back onto New Rankings to draft their best fictional football squads, comprised of players from such classic gridiron tales as The Replacements, Friday Night Lights, Remember the Titans, and the Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon. Who will draft Forrest Gump in the second round? Who will land not one but two different Keanu Reeveses to play quarterback? And who will panic-draft Air Bud and Keisha from Backyard Football before realizing that his team sucks as he melts into a puddle of tears? Find out, and vote for your favorite team: #TeamTeddy or #TeamJake!

Happy 2018! Teddy welcomes his sister, noted bookworm Kit Steinkellner, back onto the New Rankings Book Club to count down their top 7 reads from 2017. Along the way, they give insight into their favorite literary genres: depressing politics books and "trashy thrillers" for Teddy; Asian women fiction and monster dog stories for Kit. In addition, they debate the following pressing questions: Why do people still read Hemingway and Fitzgerald but not John Dos Passos or Sinclair Lewis? Why do, uh, certain demographics vote against their economic interests? And... wait... realistic Flintstones???

Ho, ho, ho! On this episode of Yule Rankings, Teddy welcomes back Lindsey Toiaivao as they celebrate everyone's favorite holiday mascot-slash-horny dad, Santa Claus! Lindsey and Teddy rank their top ten Santas in film, fiction, and folklore, from Krampus to the Grinch, from Tim Allen to JTT. Additional pressing Santa questions include: Why is Jack Skellington the Macklemore of Santas? When will Mrs. Claus get something interesting to do?And how can you tell when a homeless person is actually just Santa in disguise?