NOBODY LIKES ONIONS Patrick Melton

Join Patrick and a cast of animated characters as they sing all the songs you know and love from the Harry Potter movies back to back! Jkjk welcome to the only podcast that can’t stop talking about mundane everyday things like who makes these smoke detectors and what’s the deal with batteries? Patrick annoys Big Irish Jay and the rest of the live audience by edging them constantly. Angie Krum is mad at Patrick but this is all just a big misunderstanding. We check in on Ocha Thai open mic, but it’s just unwatchable for so many reasons. Thai Rivera has issued a complete cope piece about Patrick and his interview with Dee Lila regarding his recent alleged assault. Thai doesn’t have one bad thing to say about Patrick in over thirty minutes of attempted analysis. It’s a weird one, and we’ve never seen Thai open up this much about Patrick, but perhaps they are friends now. Patrick offers Thai an olive branch.

Patrick is pleased to bring you one of the most wild and eventful group viewings in quite awhile. I hope you’ve all brought your bucket of crackered jack and caramelized corns. This Tuesday prior, Thai Rivera was at an open mic at Wiseguys Comedy Club in Las Vegas, one of his favorite klerbs, and honestly, one of the few he is still allowed to step foot in. After completely melting down on stage with a tirade of predictable slop directed at a peer comedian, Dee Lila, he was made to leave the stage in a fit of emotional panic. After this incident, Thai made the decision to put his hands on one, and possibly two, comedians. Is this the professionalism we need in the comedy community from the hero we deserve for pride month? Patrick talks to to comedian Dee Lila to get the real story, and find the truth about her claim that Thai yanked her venue, the Ocha Bar, from her well-manicured claws. We tune in live to Thai’s Comedy Dojo to watch his weekly dose of live lunacy. After making once of the most cringe announcements to the crowd ever uttered to a restaurant patrons, he can’t stop hiding from the camera and eventually is made to leave his own show twice due to his squirminess! Do not miss this 4-HOUR bonus bonanza!

It's SUNDAY! It's FUNDAY! It's time to see what's wrong in the world according to Patrick. We've got rumors swirling and comedy to watch! Pour yourself a glass of Tang and let's get to it! Thai is removed from a show by local comedy mom Irma Ruiz, and he isn't happy about it. That's not going to stop him from pretending to be Unbothered for 30 minutes about it. Our friend TommyNC2010 calls in to talk about dead dads, and of course tries to turn the conversation political and controversial. Vegas comedian Angie Krum has been taunting her new comedy special, but Patrick can't believe it's only ten minutes long. Some chat members are frothed over Patrick krumming the water, but is it worth it?

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It’s been a rough week. Patrick is super broke now, so please send in your offers of tribute. The Tesla was repossessed and Brad has been been through a terrible ordeal while away at training camp. She’s home to tell the tale, and the pictures will sicken you. While doing what he thought was best for his sweet dog, injuries on each and every one of her paws forced her to have to leave for a vet inspection, and the results are awful. People are getting more and more dug-in and stupid. Thai Rivera wants $5000 to perform on a show with Patrick, once again cementing his intense fear of competition and exposure. Patrick would love to do something to benefit a charity, but Thai needs more money for table tops. Exclusive chat logs reveal his thirst for money, lack of concern for others, and constant gaslighting of his own fans. Finally, we watch a suggested video of Thai embarrassing himself on stage in Arizona for ten minutes while spouting hacky stereotypes and calling a woman who doesn’t deserve it names.

It’s been a crazy week, but things could be worse! Join Patrick in discussing all the hot news and topics of the day in a fun new way! You’ll never believe how broken everyone is, and there are plenty of receipts to go around. Did Patrick make the most extravagant purchase of his life? Ask his new Tesla, baby! Patrick describes some recent difficulty with paint matching. DL Hughley and Mo’ Nique are fighting about who the headliner was at a show nobody cares about in Detroit. Denny does eBay, and you’ll never guess how much a pair of jeans with some guac cost in his silly broken brain. Did Josh Denny steal a tweet from Patrick? Mike Boudet has really let himself go. Nick Starr is old and want to move to Cancun. We’ve got a new nut on Facebook to talk about in the future, and Patrick’s recent interaction with a close friend is a microcosm of what’s going on in the world of independent thought. Could things get any worse? Probably! Just check out the aftershow!

Patrick returns after hunting for sharks in the Andes and he has souvenirs for all the children, and receipts and health tips for the elderly. Patrick talks about his recent activities in the Las Vegas comedy community. We listen to Thai Rivera and wonder how a man can be so delusional and project as much as this comedy zero. We watch him show off another video of a show that is super empty, cringe and embarrassing. It’s worse than can be described. Patrick talks more about Butch Bradley and his “issues.” This s a wholesome family show about how to cope with your worldly desires while balancing your relationship with the almighty. Enjoy!