Not By Chance Podcast Dr. Tim Thayne

Dr. Thayne speaks about the role of fear when we are trying to be our teen's number one influencer. Fear is natural and can be healthy in doses, but when it isn't handled right, it can spiral out of control and have a domino effect on the family. Tim explains that you have to recognize the fear first. Then you can address it by talking yourself down from expecting the worst and taking action despite your fear. 


Challenge: When you feel fearful, articulate what you are afraid of. Communicate with someone, talk yourself down from catastrophising, and act despite your fear. 


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Listening is one of the most influential things you could do.  We might think that listening is too passive to possibly have an influence. Most of the time, however,  no one cares to be swayed by someone they feel doesn't understand them. Dr. Tim Thayne gives some practical tips on how to listen to your teen. Some of them include going into the conversation being willing to have your mind changed.

Challenge: Prioritize listening. Let go of the need to control the conversation. At the end of the day ask yourself how you did.

 Along with being a deliberate example, parents need to be aware of the values you are modeling.  Today’s episode explores some virtues that seem to be less common in today’s self-centered and fast paced world.  We also discuss how to create moral literacy with stories.

Would you allow a stranger to sit on your teen's bed and talk to them for hours a day? Never. Yet this is what's happening and this is how you can put yourself back in the number one influencer position with your teen, through your deliberate, though not perfect, example.

What if you could read your teen's thoughts about themselves?  Would their story of their worth match yours about them?  Dr. Thayne talks about how the stories we choose to tell ourselves can lead to vastly different outcomes, ranging from destructive to a springboard for success.


0:00
Intro
1:28
Self Esteem Stat
4:58
Student Body President
9:04
Daughter Wants To Drop Out
14:07
App Announcement
15:15
Driving To the Airport
17:11
Closing Self Esteem Talk
20:23
Outro

Dr. Thayne takes this opportunity to share with Casi Fariello of OPLM why he felt it was time to turn his attention to the needs of families after their teen's out-of-home treatment programs.  He shares his journey from an owner and therapist in a wilderness treatment program, to working where the "rubber meets the road" of therapeutic treatment . . . in the home.