75 episodes

My mom’s King Ranch Chicken casserole. My small hometown in East Texas. My eleventh grade choir teacher. Know what all of these things have in common? None of them are famous. None have been written about or sung about or reported on. You might call them “ordinary.”

Welcome to Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. Where we talk about all the things that we see and touch and fear and feel and eat and hope for - every day. Because that’s what life is, you know? It’s one miracle after another - we just get so used to seeing them...we call them ordinary.

“THE WORLD IS A SERIES OF MIRACLES. BUT WE’RE SO USED TO SEEING THEM WE JUST CALL THEM ORDINARY THINGS." - Hans Christian Anderson

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke Melissa Radke

    • Christianity

My mom’s King Ranch Chicken casserole. My small hometown in East Texas. My eleventh grade choir teacher. Know what all of these things have in common? None of them are famous. None have been written about or sung about or reported on. You might call them “ordinary.”

Welcome to Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. Where we talk about all the things that we see and touch and fear and feel and eat and hope for - every day. Because that’s what life is, you know? It’s one miracle after another - we just get so used to seeing them...we call them ordinary.

“THE WORLD IS A SERIES OF MIRACLES. BUT WE’RE SO USED TO SEEING THEM WE JUST CALL THEM ORDINARY THINGS." - Hans Christian Anderson

    Melissa & David Q&A

    Melissa & David Q&A

    Melissa and David are here today to answer listener questions. Melissa loves it when people ask questions. We appreciate you trusting us with all of the things we'll be talking about today and on future episodes. The last couple of weeks have been dedicated to something that Melissa just can't wrap her mind around. We've been talking about being still, organizing, and decluttering our homes and our hearts, space, and putting your phone away. 
    If someone would have told me that in the year 1994 when David and I got married that someday David would be checking his phone while we were having conversations, and I would be checking my watch for incoming messages, I would have laughed them out of house and home. Here we are learning how to create space and balance in a way that we didn't have to learn back then. We are navigating a whole new world.
    Before we dive into the listener questions, we just want to say thank you for trusting us with your questions, even though we don't have all of the answers. We do love each other very much, and we are in this marriage for the long haul. We work really hard on our marriage, so we are going to try and do the best we can with your questions. David also wanted to share that just asking the question or talking about it or hearing someone else talk it can help you feel less alone.
    Show Notes:
    [06:34] Someone from Vista, California said she loves the show. Her and her husband will be married 35 years. The only way she could keep balance when the kids were young was to go away on weekends every three to four months. [09:00] Question from Sarah: How to get a guilt free girls night? Her husband only does stuff with her. He doesn't have any friends and doesn't go out. [10:27] Sarah has guilt going out, because her husband just wants to be with her. [11:48] David suggests Sarah's husband be supportive. One of the ways Melissa recharges is by spending time by herself or by spending time with other people. [12:20] When Melissa and David got married, David was jealous of her time. This has changed, because David discovered that Melissa becomes better after having time off with her friends or family.  [14:29] It's a good idea to have moments of conversation about how important it is and be nice and treat other people well. Say thank you, and it wouldn't hurt to help him find a hobby.  [15:19] Selena is the adoptive mother of a special-needs child. He is now an adult, and Selena is struggling with drawing lines in the sand and kind of pushing him out of the nest. At what point does she say you're ready and it's time to go? [17:04] We are at a double deficit when it comes to answering this question. We don't have a special needs child, and we haven't come to the season where we release our children out into the world. [18:00] Every situation with every child is going to be different. Seeking counseling with people who have expertise and can give true insight on your specific situation would be a good idea. [18:33] It seems to Melissa that you have dealt with this for so many years that you and your husband are a little off-balance on how to be alone and how to make time for one another. [21:45] Ellen asks how to schedule sex in your life when you and your partner have opposite schedules? [22:12] Men can be more flexible, try to find a time that works for Ellen. There's something romantic and life giving when the other partner is intentional.  [25:29] It can't be pushed away for too long without having some effect. [27:29] Donna asks how to come to an agreement when it's time to talk about a problem? This gives her anxiety. If we don't communicate to begin with, how could we communicate about a problem? [28:25] Not communicating at all is a red flag. We are firm believers in marriage counseling. When there are problems, husbands don't want to go. Invest in a counselor now, before you are engulfed

    • 41 min
    Uncluttered

    Uncluttered

    A few months ago I got a book in the mail titled Uncluttered. Imagine that frozen moment in time, when I was holding this book while standing in my kitchen surrounded by, you guessed it, clutter! In spite of the stuff that creates clutter, today's podcast isn't about removing physical clutter. It's about removing noise, stress, and over commitments. This show is for anyone who wakes up from a nap and says, "I wish I could do that again." 
    It's for people who buy books and find them later dusty and unread. It's for those who meet God on vacation or in quiet moments and wish they had more times like that. Courtney Ellis is a writer, speaker, and mom of three. She serves alongside her husband as a Presbyterian pastor in Southern California. She is the author of Uncluttered and Almost Holy Mama. Courtney is also an advocate for minimal-ish living, a crossword puzzle nerd, and a candy connoisseur. 
    This episode will hit home for a lot of you, because it’s about discovering that there is room and space in our lives for the things that matter. We just have to sometimes make that room. Courtney shares her journey with getting rid of physical, digital, and time clutter and learning to let go and rest. She shares how to make it a personal experience depending on the seasons and preferences of your family. It’s all about living with less to create more. This is a fun, practical, and sweet interview. I know you’re going to love Courtney as much as I do. 
    Show Notes:
    [03:20] Courtney grew up in the Midwest. She's from Wisconsin. She now lives in Southern California with her family where she has a fear of earthquakes. [04:38] Her oldest son is seven. Her middle son is 3 and 1/2. She also has a nine month old baby girl. [04:59] Courtney and her husband are co-pastors in a Presbyterian Church. They take turns being home with the kids. [06:08] It's easy to burn out if you aren't caring for your marriage and caring for your soul. Simplicity, Sabbath practice, and resting are even more important for those of us who serve in ministry. [06:53] Courtney has written two books, and they both came out the same year.  [07:43] Writing is what fills Courtney's cup back up.  [08:09] The lessons of Courtney's books are universal, because they aren't how to books, they are me to books. They are invitations to practice spiritual practices and live with less, so God can give you more. [09:29] Uncluttered is about going from overwhelmed to rest. Her schedule, closets, and digital media were too full. Something had to change, because she couldn't go on that way any longer. [10:04] The book is all about less. It's about how she pared down her digital life and cleaned out her closets. The second half of the book was the biggest surprise to her, because she started writing about less and God started teaching her about more. [10:36] God wanted to give her amazing things, but her schedule had no room. It's the story of more to less to more. [15:24] Courtney and her family began the journey by stopping. They stopped buying non-essentials, and they stopped putting things on their calendar. [16:10] They also have a sacred family Sabbath. They rest, play, and nap. They have to say no to a lot to make it happen, but it reset every other area in their lives. [19:26] Possessions aren't neutral. Everything we have takes time to store, care for, and manage. Each possession was stealing time from Courtney. She wanted that valuable time back. [22:28] Uncluttering the soul and the spirit has changed everything for Courtney and her family. She also pared-down social media. We can make the choices whether we want to give our time away or not. [25:49] What would you do if the end result was hearing God better? [28:46] For Courtney, it was a journey of God being willing to meet her where she is in her life now. [29:26] Courtney would meditate on scripture in the s

    • 38 min
    The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

    The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

    I was sent a copy of The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by author John Mark Comer. This book and topic were so wonderful and so needed in my life, that I found myself a bit nervous to interview John on this show. He turned out to be as smart, kind, well-spoken, and humble as his book. He's done his research, and he's lived what he writes about. You'll enjoy every moment of this wonderful interview. John lives, works, and writes in the urban core of Portland, Oregon, with his wife, Tammy, and their three children, Jude, Moses, and Sunday. 
    He is the pastor for teaching and vision at Bridgetown Church. A church built around the very simple idea of practicing the way of Jesus, together, in Portland. As for education, John Mark holds a master’s degree in biblical and theological studies from Western Seminary, and is currently at work on a doctorate in spiritual formation through Fuller Seminary and the Dallas Willard Center. I love everything about John’s book, and I think you will too. 
    Show Notes:
    [06:52] John dedicated this book to Dallas Willard. I first heard of Dallas Willard in John Ortberg's book Soul Keeping. [07:23] John reads Soul Keeping every summer. [08:05] John Ortberg was mentored by Dallas Willard.  [09:02] As Dallas Willard was dying he narrated the event. His last words were thank you. [11:08] John had three or four aha moments before writing this book. [11:47] John had emotional, relational, and spiritual symptoms. He was burnt out. He wasn't enjoying his work. [12:52] When he came across the concept of hurry that Willard called the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. He realized this was the naming of one of the key issues under all of his symptoms. This was all her moment number one. [13:17] Aha moment number two was when he realized that people are just too busy to live emotionally healthy and spiritually rich lives. [15:02] His third aha moment was when he put his thoughts together on hurry and it resonated and connected with the community. [16:32] He decided to put all these thoughts together and write a book. [19:32] By the time you're in your twenties or thirties, you can take a guess at who you're becoming. This feeling eventually goes away and is replaced with this is who I became. [22:37] The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry was from a quote by Dallas Willard, who was a philosopher at the University of Southern California. He is best known as a writer and a teacher of the way of Jesus. [24:05] John Ortberg was mentored by Willard who told him he must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from life. Hurry is the great spiritual enemy of life today. [24:37] His entire book was built around this story. [25:37] A physician in the 50s was the first to connect the dots between stress and heart disease. [27:48] The 1950's were the beginning of hurry disease. [28:42] 2007 and 2010 was the release of the smartphone. It's easy to think that this pace of life is normal.  [30:32] The badge of honor that we wear for our business makes us seem important.  [31:05] The problem is when we have too much to do and have to hurry. [31:42] Healthy business is that you are giving your life away.  [32:09] Pathological busyness is where you have too much to do but not enough time to do it. [32:30] The frenetic fast pace can kill off love, deep relationships, longevity, soul care, and awareness. [33:56] What we feed we call forth. Your life is no more than the sum of what you devote your attention too. [35:03] What we give our time to is what we will become. [36:08] The end of the book is practical with a step-by-step method.  [37:22] Life is complex. Slowing down can be hard. There are practices from the ways of Jesus that are incredibly effective at slowing down and tapping into what Jesus called live's that are full. [39:07] Followers of Jesus are usually referred to as disciples or family. A better translation for

    • 55 min
    Start in the Home

    Start in the Home

    I've had several guests come on the show, and they all want to talk about decluttering. Some want to declutter our schedules and some want to declutter our kitchen cabinets, but they all say to declutter our lives is to declutter our souls. Today's guest is knowledgeable, funny, charming, and she is an expert at getting rid of clutter. I know I’ll learn a thing or two from her and so will you. Allie Casazza is the host of The Purpose Show - a top-rated podcast - and the creator of online courses that have earned her international attention for her fresh, practical lifestyle strategies for moms. Known as 'The Life Minimalist', she encourages and inspires women to pursue abundant life by creating space for what matters most. Allie and her husband, Brian, live with their four young children in Southern California wine country. Her signature course, Your Uncluttered Home, is available for $100 off (normally $297) for a limited time only. She's running this sale in coordination with her annual free challenge called Declutter Like A Mother. This price will be available through January 15th at midnight PST.  Show Notes: [03:06] Allie serves women and mothers who feel overwhelmed with life and schedule. She loves helping them find routines that are light and bright and serve their lifestyles. [04:02] Allie has four children and lives in Southern California. [04:26] Most people who have something to offer the world find it was born out of going through a really hard time in life. That's what happened to Allie. [04:37] She was depressed and overwhelmed with her role as a mother and wife. [06:10] She was overwhelmed and wasn't happy with the way she was showing up and living her life with her family. [09:14] Allie knew she needed to fix the source, but she was so desperate that she almost went and got medication. [09:35] She decided to get rid of everything that wasn't used or loved. It took a few months to get rid of the clutter, but her health felt different after the first day. [10:48] Having what needs to be and nothing extra enables her to travel and run a business and do all the things that she does. [11:10] Allie teaches online classes. She shared her journey on her blog. People were sharing her great ideas.  [12:05] She wrote an ebook, but realized online courses were a better format. She is good at marketing and loves working from home and helping other women. [14:02] Melissa is a mom who gets overwhelmed easily. She admires Allies organizational skills and entrepreneurial ability. [15:51] It all starts at home. We can only do one thing at a time. The physical act of decluttering and letting go of weight in your physical space will make you feel better.  [18:25] If you have a beautiful room you want to spend time in, you are more likely to pray or meditate or spend time with God. [19:03] Any habit you want to change begins with your environment. Decluttering is a physical act that can make your life better. [20:21] You become a better person by creating spaces that you enjoy. [22:24] Allie just started blogging for herself and now she has a huge following. [28:18] Allie has big plans. Her revenue comes from courses about getting your life together at home. When you trip over a secret and have the audacity to share it money follows. [30:12] Once Allie's business started taking off, minimalism became a trend. She was worried that she wasn't famous or fast enough.  [30:38] Even though, there are multiple teachers in this niche, they do not have Allie's voice and Allie's legacy. [33:12] In Allie's business, she is working on simplifying and only doing things that move the needle forward. [33:49] She wants to show up in a way that brings impact, revenue, and change. She is also coaching, and she has some new courses coming out including a simplifying homeschooling course. [34:47] This season is about taking out the unnecessar

    • 43 min
    This Christmas

    This Christmas

    I am sitting down with my friend Billie Jean Johnson on this very special Christmas, because any Christmas we are lucky enough to have is special. Even more so for some of us. Billie Jean is funny, sarcastic, and loud. She has a smile that spreads all the way across her face. She’s the queen of laughing at her own jokes, and she thinks she’s the funniest person in the room. The first time we met, I attended a party she was hosting and nothing was home cooked.
    She's been married to the love of her life over 25 years. She’s a parent and a grandparent. She’s a faithful and loyal friend who’s never met a purse or a fake set of nails that she doesn't love. She likes big Texas cars and long hair extensions. She is more girly girl than I am on my best day. Every time I've seen her she's been dressed to the nines. Yet, she's never uppity and has zero pretense.
    She is someone who believes in community. She built a rehabilitation and recovery center for people with addictions. She has fed inner-city families on Thanksgiving with her giant walk-through Thanksgiving buffet. She has literally brought hundreds of volunteers together to serve dinner plates to shut-ins. Billie Jean isn’t on the show today  for the amazing things that she has done. She’s here because of where she’s going.
    Unless a miracle happens, this will be the last Christmas that Billie Jean has with her husband Jeramy and her girls, Haley and Jessica. It will be the last Christmas she watches her grandson or son-in-law open gifts. Stupid, horrible, spiteful cancer may very well win this one. I asked Billy Jean a few weeks ago if I could sit with her in silence and grief and ask her some questions. We often want to ask questions of those with one foot on the other side, but are too afraid too. It’s an honor to sit and talk with Billie Jean on this episode.
    Show Notes:
    [05:17] Billy Jeans go to meal in Lufkin would be a turkey burger from Mom's Diner. [05:54] Friendship means family and being there through the good and the ugly.  [06:20] Every one Billie Jean knows has risen to this season.  [07:13] Billie Jean has many roles and the actress who would play her might surprise you. [07:43] Billie Jean has always been an optimistic person. She believes that God is good and only gives good gifts.  [08:19] Her perspective on life is taking care of what God has put her here to do and nothing else matters. [09:40] Her family is her greatest testimony, so she's letting them see how she can live and die graciously. [12:12] Billie Jean had a great health report from the doctor. Two weeks later they went back to the doctor, and found out that the tumors had grown. There were so many tumors that Billie Jean wouldn't make it through the surgery to remove them. [13:17] When Billie Jean and her husband heard this news, they were shocked.  [14:22] Billie Jean doesn't worry about the fear of dying, it's what she leaves behind that has to wrestle with the pain.  [15:17] Years ago, Billie Jean dealt with losing her dad from addiction and her sister's addiction. She then took care of her sister's children. The whole experience was an emotional roller coaster for Billie Jean.  [16:28] She cried out to God, and he took the pain away from her. [19:29] She can't complain about cancer or ask God for anymore, because of all the wonderful things he has done for her in this life. [20:26] Billie Jean trusts that God's going to help take care of her family. She believes that whatever the reason for all of this is that God's fulfilling his purpose. [21:16] Moms want to prepare their children as much as they can, but they don't really know how. We don't know what we're doing, but what we do know is that we're going to be gracious to each other. [22:45] Billie Jean's relationship with God is very sweet.  [23:40] When she is really having a hard day, she listens to worship m

    • 48 min
    Blue Christmas

    Blue Christmas

    Hello everyone! It's the holidays. Are you feeling it yet? I remember when I was working outside the home, and I felt like I just couldn't get Christmas right. My time was limited. My funds were limited. And Christmas Eve or the day before would be just like a blur. I hated that feeling. 
    Eventually, I was able to leave that job. Even though I loved it, and start working for myself. It was from home, and I thought that now I can do Christmas right. I thought I would conquer Christmas and be able to rest and delight in it. Guess what happens when you work from home? Your time is still limited. Your funds are still Limited. Maybe even more so.
    There aren't enough Starbucks peppermint mochas in the world or Hallmark movies to slow down the busyness of the season. I don't think highly enough of myself that I'm going to fix it with this one podcast. I'm not even going to try. Christmas is busy. Christmas is costly. It was that way for your parents, your grandparents, and it'll be that way for your kids.
    So what I'm actually going to talk about today is what do we do when the holidays are upon us, but we are grieving. It's one thing to be busy, but it's another thing entirely to be broken. On Christmas morning 2005 at 6:30 am, my son Elisha Cooper Radke came into this world. An hour later we were handing him back to God. This is what it’s like to be broken on Christmas. 
    Show Notes:
    [04:04] Elisha came, stayed for one hour and he left. Christmas has never been the same.  [04:54] Every Christmas Eve around 10:40 p.m. I will feel a pain in my heart. It happens every year at that time, because that's when I went into labor. [06:09] I tell people that I walk with a limp through the holidays and I do and I probably always will. [07:06] I have a feeling that today some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. [08:29] For some of you, this will be your first Christmas without your spouse or your child. It could be your first Christmas without a job, home or best friend.  [09:43] This episode is for you. There is nothing wrong with you. I'm speaking to anyone and everyone who walks with a limp at Christmas time. [10:33] We are drawn to Hallmark movies because everything ends up perfectly. [11:10] Holidays are the time of year when we want everything to end up perfectly. [11:46] A day will come when love fills the room more than pain does. The pain of what you lost will pale in comparison to the joy of what you found. [12:54] Take a moment and look around. Everyone is hurting with their own pain. Pain comes to us all. So does love. [15:52] If things had happened differently, would I have experienced the same joy and pain? Would Christmas mean as much? Even though I walk with a limp on Christmas, love has the final say. [17:31] I wouldn't choose it, but I wouldn't change it. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.
    Links and Resources:
    Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Home Chef Use promo code MelissaR80 to get $20 off your first four meals $80 off total

    • 18 min

Customer Reviews

choatenc ,

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

Exceptional podcast. I have enjoyed Melissa Radke and her guests for some time but this one was exceptional. Melissa, you did such a wonderful job. I felt like I was in your living room with you and John during a Book Club. I received so much out of this podcast thank you John Mark for your incredible writing and speaking directly to my heart. This is one I will listen to Over and over.

RachelYo99 ,

Thank you

Thank you Melissa for being real. Love your show and love your podcast so much. Your podcast gives me hope and brings me closer to reconnecting to my spiritual self. I fear death a lot - panicked over it. Your This Christmas podcast with Billie Jean had me sobbing. Hit me like a ton of bricks!! When you started crying I did too. Fear is so powerful, but I want to conquer fear like Billie Jean did. Thank you for your voice Melissa!!

Victorywoman ,

Mind our own business

Provided understand to past childhood issues. Explains so much.

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