The Art of Friendship. Pursuing social/racial/economic justice through the art of friendship. A thought-provoking conversation series, changing the world with the friends we show up for, seeking wisdom -about our society, culture, history, and life experiences, transforming the way we heal and build our worlds, from families to corporations and neighborhoods around the world. Words create coherent energy of compassion, appreciation, love, and respect for all life, ourselves, humanity, and our natural world. Friendship is the key to social / economic justice, health, joy, and peace for ourselves and our global family.
The Gossipy Friend, how Twitter has destroyed our bond with one button; why friendship is so important and can save our society, especially right at this moment in time.
Sharing stories is the key to bonding. We explain the difference between sharing and telling a story. Then we get to the bad sharing which is another kind of storytelling/sharing (gossip) that destroys our bond, and we use Twitter as an example of how our society has lost the ability to connect. In this episode, we have a solution to bring us back together again. There is a way out of this. There is a way to have a better life, to have a beautiful society. And it's not as hard as you think. You don't have to figure out how to move mountains. You just have to sit in simplicity
#Twitter, #gossip, #bonding, #connection, #storytelling, #misinformation, #crazy, #stupid, #the art of friendship, #land of Shinar, #The story of Babel, #Tower of Babel, #fragmentation, #confirmation bias,
The Gossipy Friend[00:00:00] Fawn: Yay for us. Hi everybody. Yay for us, meaning all of us together listening right now. Hi everyone. Guess what? I was partaking in a very boring conversation yesterday [00:00:15] Matt: was [00:00:15] Fawn: that with me? You were there, but you were not the reason for the boredom, but you were. I think we were all contributing to the boredom because neither side wanted to talk about anything.Because one side lives and believes radically different than ours. All this [00:00:32] Matt: would be yes, yes. The call [00:00:34] Fawn: with family[00:00:35] Matt: family. [00:00:36] Fawn: So as the conversation was being had on speakerphone and the whole family's at the table, I must admit that I was zoning out ( Matt exclaims sarcastically) and we are surrounded by boxes in our kitchen, at the moment, there was one box that was in front of me and it had in big, big letters "BELONG", like belong B E L O N G. And I started to play like, oh, what other words can I make out of belong? And so I realized with belong, you can create "ONE GLOBE". We all belong to one globe. So I was tripping out on that, the whole conversation; one global. Am I the only one tripping out on that?Isn't that great?!?! Anyway, [00:01:20] Matt: you know, actually, nevermind. [00:01:21] Fawn: No, go ahead. [00:01:22] Matt: Well, I wrote a computer program because that's what I do. And I programmed peoples, I programmed all of the house names of the house into it. And as it turns out, if I scramble up the letters in ALLEGRA, it actually spells like a genus of birds or something random.I mean, it's weird. Yeah, nobody else's full names came out to anything, but,[00:01:43] Fawn: but collectively our names come to "FAME". [00:01:46] Matt: Well, that's the first letter of each [00:01:48] Fawn: that's as complex as I can get.[00:01:50] Matt: I understand. Oh my God. I should get all the letters together. Scramble them up. [00:01:56] Fawn: Okay. Stop. So we digress. We have digressed even before we have started, we have a really good show today.Oh, well, you know, show we have a really important topic we want to talk about. We're really eager to get into. So I'm going to start. And then Matt, you come in. Okay. Matt is covering his mouth cause I told them don't you interrupt me? Let me, let me get my thoughts out first because I am the Chewbacca. I can't play games with people. If you interrupt me, or if you disagree with me or if you win, I get really mad, I, I can't function after that in a normal way.Matt is looking away. All right. So here we go. Initially, we were going to talk about the, what did we call it initially? The title we were going to use[00:02:47] Matt: "The Disagreeable Friend" , [00:02:48] Fawn: "The Disagreeable Friend" , and as we were delving into it, I realized, oh my goodness, this goes back to what we learned some years ago that, people get labeled as crazy or stupid.Right? When you are no longe
The Ikigai of Friendship - Moving to Everyday Meaning and Joy in Life
Let's look at the word, the concept, and the root of Ikigai, which is about giving everyday meaning and joy. Let's look at the Ikigai. The word Ikigai comes from Iki meaning, life and gai, meaning, value.
Ikigai can be interpreted as the values in your life that make it worth living. We're going to talk about how that relates to work, in the corporate world, in the business world, and most importantly, how that works in our lives; with our friendships with our families, with the joy in life. This episode is about Ikigai, joy, happiness, life purpose, how we see the world, Who and What we love, how we make a difference, where we excel, passion, values, possibilities, gifts, the value in life, the art of finding true friendship, the art of friendship, and moving towards a meaningful life.
The Art of Ceremony and the Value of Ritual
Ceremony, what does it really mean? What is it? What is a daily ceremony? It's an intentional routine that's connected with how you start, how you move through, or how you end your day, the goal of ceremony is to be aware of time passing, but not to stress out about it;to observe it and notice that it counts. The little things in life, count.
Why do we have ceremony? They make life's, essential moments. They may reflect our beliefs, hopes, our traditions, culture, and spirituality. It's a way to bring people together and provide a sense of belonging. A ritual is defined by psychologists as a predefined sequence of symbolic actions.
Rituals make us less anxious. Ritualistic practices can help to bring a degree of predictability to an uncertain future. They convince our brains of constancy. It brings about a sense of predictability.
The Art of Ceremony
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hi, welcome back. We've got a good one for you today. Folks. We've got a great one for you today. Folks. Welcome back everybody to our friendly world. Today we're talking ceremony and I have a whole thing I'm going to go through and Matt's probably going to get mad at me because that's what he does. He has his notes.
I guarantee you I've become divergent. So I'm going to start first. And then Matt, you're just going to have to like flow with it. Here we go. The art of ceremony, ceremony as a work of art, I'm here to comfort you. We're here to comfort you, the opposite of people saying; I'm going to challenge you to something.
So today I'm going to comfort you with something it's the opposite of, I'm going to challenge you to do something because we all have enough that we're challenged by. Thank you very much. We're challenged enough, taxed enough, overworked, overtired, overdone, We need comfort. There's so much out there
that could seem so out of control. Like you have the feeling the sense that there's no rhyme or reason to anything that the world is crazy, if you look at it through the news, or if you listen to certain people. Life can seem out of control, like there's no sense to anything.
For us, we just went through a ceremony of the end of life ceremony. Matt's mother passed away. And so I'm looking at Matt's dad and I got an email from your brother, basically saying, you know, this is what dad's been going through. Over the years he's felt a sense of losing control.
He gave me a whole list of things that your dad has lost control of. in life, with his body, with just everything in life and that's his perception, right? We all can look at life and we can see things differently depending on how we look at it. What is our thought form? What is our belief system?
Our belief systems can create a whole other life from one incident to another. So today we're talking about the art of ceremony and how ritual, ceremony, all of that can really help us with friendship, with feeling connected with turning our lives around and creating the life that we really want.
So I looked at the etymology of first ceremony, and then it led me thr
The Ceremonies of Life and the Disappointed Friend
It was about the ceremony. It was about the experience. It was about the grief. It was about the, it was about my mom. It wasn't about these random people. I don't care really don't care. And honestly, don't care. So that's me, but just be careful with your words out there folks. Cause the problem is, is my dad said you are a disappointment, not that very disappointing or I'm disappointed that you're not coming.
He said you are a disappointment. Because that's his attempt to define my entire being versus defining an action. So just be careful, be careful at work. I was told very early on by somebody who wasn't particularly wise, but God, he nailed this one. You never say, you know, Bad. You say the work you did today was bad because it's inherently different.
You're not ascribing value to the person you're ascribing value to the work the person produces. It's entirely different.
This episode is about the friends who are disappointed; the people you can't please, and how to follow your own guidance in life.
Fawn: I have things on my mind, and I don't want to lose it because yesterday I said, let's talk about this on the show with, with, with the outbursts that I have been having that I was holding in for a few days. So let's get going before I lose my nerve or just lose it, like whatever. I don't know.
Um, all right. If you're about a quick, hello, you're bound to disappoint everybody at some point. So don't worry about. When people say they're disappointed in you, that disappointed friend, not only that today is not about the disappointing friend or, um, well, maybe disappointing friend that could be you.
We're going to use ourselves as an example to talk about what we're talking about today to really convey the message out there that you're bound to disappoint others in life. Okay. It has very little to do with you is, is my understanding, because I'll tell you the whole thing and we're going to use ourselves as the example.
Matt is leaning back and kind of bracing himself because it's mostly about him today. Um, bear with me. So it's not just the disappointed friend. It is the self-absorbed friends, the distraught friend, the born. Okay. I'm going to put this in quotes, "born of an older generation" friend, the "stuck in the old way" friend. Here we go. So, like I said, living life, living your authentic life, living, what you think is right for you and your immediate surroundings from your perspective, no one else can see your perspective, but you, so when you make decisions based on that, and it's not to say that you don't you're, uh, you're not
caring about other people or other situations, you know, most of us are. And that's what makes some decisions so gut wrenching, that's why certain situations in life are so hard. And you waste a lot of time going back and forth because you do see the other perspective, but no one very few people, especially these days have the capacity to put themselves in your shoes and really understand where you're coming from to have compassion, not only for themselves, but for you and why you're making the decisions that you're making.
Saying that that's one of the reasons why people get disappointed when you realize really you are responsible for your life, you are responsible for the decisions that you make. You are responsible for seeing your perspective and you have to live by that. And there are consequences. So what does that really mean?
The Art of the Compliment - Compliment vs Complement
How can a compliment open the doors to friendship or even save someone's life? We discuss in this episode of "The Art of the Compliment" as we understand the ways to establish joy, kindness, and sincerity and see how a compliment is an invitation to a beautiful friendship. What is the difference between COMPLIMENT and COMPLEMENT? We discuss this question and much more.
[00:00:00] Fawn: you complete me Hello? Hello. Hello. Welcome back. Are you ready for a very intense, not intense in a negative way, but an in depth topic, a topic I'm actually going to teach a course on
[00:00:14] Matt: super serious.
[00:00:16] Fawn: It's not super serious, but it has a lot of moving parts and it's quite deep actually.
[00:00:22] Matt: Would you
it more nuanced?.
[00:00:23] Fawn: I don't like that word, but it's the art of the compliment.
[00:00:32] Matt: Oh, dear.
[00:00:32] Fawn: Much like when you come into our home and all of the different homes we've had since the big house we used to own that, you know, through the pitfalls of society, went to hell and ever since then, we've been so gunshy. Ugh, gunshy. We've been so resistant on owning property ever again because of what happened in the financial crisis some years ago, that is, seems to be happening again.
But whatever, we've moved a lot since then, and it's never been a place that's been ours, it's been some rentals and some of them have been ugly, depressing, just ugly , gray. It started with the first apartment we had after we lost the house.
it was Valentine's day. We've said this story before. Sorry, but quick refresher. It was Valentine's day. Matt had this job with this horrible person there that was stressing him out so much. It was awful. It was horrible. It was Valentine's day. And. I was teaching our little, little, little girls and I decided, all right, let's do an art project.
We cut hundreds of hearts out of different kinds of paper, different colors, everything. And then I got like sewing thread and I attached them to the hearts and I hung them on the ceiling.
I taped them on the ceiling in the entryway. So when Matt came home, he had to walk through this hall of hearts. So many hearts and they were low enough where his
The Art of Conversation and SEL (Social Emotional Learning)
We discuss the art of conversation as the basis for the art of friendship, as we share three main components for conversing (Invite Insight Incite). We explore social-emotional learning and how we can feel and dance together no matter how difficult the topic of conversation or the particular life situation we may be in.
#conversation, #Invite, #Invitation, #Insight, #Incite, #TheArtofConversation, #Social-emotionalLearning, #Theartoffriendship, #ESL
[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome
back to our friendly world, everyone.
[00:00:03] Matt: Hello
[00:00:04] Fawn: Reflecting on the art of friendship, we are starting a conversation on the art of conversation. I'm gonna start with some definitions. First, obviously conversation. Let's look at that.
It's a noun the use of speech for informal exchange of views, ideas or information simple. Right?
[00:00:25] Matt: Sounds like
[00:00:26] Fawn: Well, you know, I always try to have conversation, but you really have to get a feel for what's going on and you have to get a feel for what the person is going through and where they stand in life.
Do they have a very strong core, a strong sense of self. I wanna say that previous generations didn't have that, or they didn't have that once they started experiencing a lot of other stresses, a lot of other things that would cause them to stretch, for example, having children or just, you know, Obviously with having children, it causes you to be thinking of other people and having your lives have this inter dance back and forth.
I'm just talking about this because everything you're going through with your family right now, right? Your mom is passing. People under duress or under stress.
Start misbehaving and there's no. Oh, here we go. Matt's going to start. Um, no, well, I'm keep it easy. The apologia starts coming in. So, you know, when you're speaking with someone, they don't hear what you're saying. When you speak to a crowd, when you're speaking to one person, they only can understand through a filtered process
of their own experiences in life for them to understand what you're saying. So they're not hearing what you are saying. They're hearing only from their perspective. So for example, if they're used to looking at certain shades of blue all the time,
a lovely, lighthearted conversation
i love listening to fawn and matt because i feel like they’re in the room with me. their conversations are relaxed, but also very informative. their topics are relatable and they take info from their personal lives, metaphors but also outside knowledge.
Inspiring & Informative
I love the lightness of this show! I feel the serenity of Fawn come through and it puts my mind at ease. She and Matt interview amazing people who share about the deeper and more subtle (but powerful) aspects of life, too.
I highly recommend you subscribe and add Our Friendly World to your routine. 😃
These two are so so sweet! I love their deep conversations so inspiring and relatable.