Permission To Desire: Relationships, Sex, Love, and Liberation

Brian G. Murphy
  • 5.0 (4)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

What if wanting more wasn’t selfish, but sacred?Permission to Want is a podcast for the curious, the courageous, the quirky, and consciously nontraditional. Hosted by author and certified relationship coach Brian G. Murphy, this show explores what it means to build fuller, more alive relationships and erotic lives and paints a picture of what’s possible when you find the courage to tell the truth about what you really want and say goodbye to shame or “shoulds.”Grounded in the wisdom of polyamory and other forms of ethical nonmonogamy, you’ll hear real-life stories and actionable insights that can enrich every relationship type: monogamous, open, polyamorous, single, or solo. Whether you're hoping to rekindle passion in a long-term relationship, healing from sexual shame, considering opening up, or just craving more intention in how you live and love, this is your permission slip.

  1. 1D AGO

    If you feel overwhelmed in your open relationship...

    In this episode, Brian G. Murphy explores the importance of embracing uncomfortable feelings in open and polyamorous relationships. If you're in an open or polyamorous relationship and you feel overwhelmed, jealous, frustrated, or insecure, there's nothing wrong with you. And you aren't "bad" for feeling that way. So where do you go from there? Push down those feelings and try to make them go away? Abandon non-monogamy and try to go back to monogamy? (or end the relationship?!) There's another path. One that doesn't ask you to ignore your feelings nor to drastically change a relationship structure that has the potential to be meaningful (and fun) for everyone involved. In this episode, you'll get some practical advice on how to acknowledge and work uncomfortable feelings to build stronger, more authentic connections. These feelings you're most afraid of? They are doorways to even more strength, commitment, and confidence in your relationship if you learn how to listen to them and take care of each other. Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgm Get the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.com Apply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

    19 min

  2. APR 9

    Watch out for this common conflict mistake

    If you try hard to communicate well in your relationship, and you care deeply about your partner, and so you try really hard to fix any problems in your relationship right when they come up... ... that's understandable. It's even a loving and helpful impulse. BUT you might be skipping one important step and making a mistake that actually makes your conflict harder than it needs to be. In this episode, you'll learn: a big conflict mistake Brian sees in his coaching clients (and has dealt with himself, too)how Brian approached conflict in the past—and why that didn't serve him wellhow to spot this conflict mistake in your own relationshiptools to approach conflict differently so you can handle conflict more productively (and with less frustration!) Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgm Get the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.com Apply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

    13 min

  3. APR 2

    Monogam-ish vs. Open-ish Relationship: Are You Stuck in the Grey Zone?

    In between "monogamy" and an "open relationship," there’s a grey area… you’re technically monogamous anymore but “open” isn’t really accurate either. This ish space can be fun and fulfilling or it can be stressful and unsatisfying. It depends on which ish you’re in. In this episode you'll learn the difference between monogamish (a term coined by Dan Savage) and open-ish — a term Brian uses to describe couples who are in transition, in a blurry in between, or not-quite-monogamous circumstances you've sorta sumbled intowho a monogamish relationship is right forhow to spot if you're in an open-ish relationshipWhat makes an open-ish relationship work well (vs wha will make it feel miserable)4 steps you need to get unstuck from an open-ish relationship that isn't serving you Whether monogamish is your happy place or you're ready to move toward something more open (or back toward monogamy entirely), our goal is the same: helping you stop gritting your teeth in your relationship and get back to enjoying it even more. Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgm Get the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.com Apply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

    16 min

  4. MAR 26

    Open Relationship Myths

    Whether you're considering opening up your relationship, already in an open relationship and wondering "maybe this is just how its supposed to be?," or new dating match say he's polyamorous... you may or may not have some ideas about what it means to be open or polyamorous and they may or may not be accurate. In this episode, Brian G Murphy busts many of the common nonmonogamy myths and shares with you what it's really like to be in an open relationship. If your open relationship isn't working the way you'd like—or you're considering opening up and want to make sure do it well—Relationshift private coaching is your guide to a right-fit relationship and satisfying sex life. Apply at thisisbgm.com/apply   Links to resources referenced in this episode: "Good" vs "Bad" Feelings In A Relationship - YouTube7 Tips for Dealing With Uncomfortable Feelings In A Relationship - YouTubeThe Ethical Slut - BookshopDo you know what "cheating" means in your relationship? - podcastThe State of Affairs - Amazon | Bookshop  Have a question about non-monogamy for Brian? Ask him by sending a message on Instagram (@ThisIsBGM) or by email to brian@thisisbgm.com. Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgm Get the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.com Apply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

    10 min

  5. MAR 19

    Do you know what "cheating" means in your relationship?

    Is watching porn cheating? What about dancing with a stranger? or sexting with a friend? Whatever your answer is, I know that there is someone out there equally confident that the opposite is true. In my work as a relationship coach, nearly every person I talk to has a different idea about what would "count" as cheating—and sometimes partners even have different definitions! In this episode, I want to help you avoid the accidental cheating trap, get clear on what commitment means to you, and build a thriving relationship on your own terms. Whether you're monogamous, open, polyamorous, or in the process of figuring that out right now, it's important that you and your partner are on the same page about what the structure of your relationship and what everyone involved is comfortable with. This is especially important if you're considering opening up or in the process of opening up! I know you may be excited to jump into the fun, but breaches of trust based on misunderstands will only complicate the process. So let's get you some clarity! If you want a short, simple guide to walk you through the process of clarifying what the agreements of your relationship are right now, download the free Commitment Clarity Checklist at thisisbgm.com/clarity Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgm Get the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.com Apply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

    9 min

  6. MAR 12

    Harder & Easier Ways to Open a Relationship

    If you're thinking about opening up your relationship—or have opened it partway already—you may think that if you just go slow enough, everything will work out. While it's important to go at a slow and steady pace, there are 3 major pitfalls I see when partners are starting to open their relationship. In this episode, Brian shares what those are so you can avoid unnecessary stress, conflict, fear, or resentment as well as changes you can make to the process to make opening up (or deciding not to open up) smoother. Opening up can bring you closer together if you do it well. This episode will help you do just that. Resources mentioned in this episode: Commitment Clarity Checklist - thisisbbm.com/clarityWeekly Sync Session workbook and training - thisisbgm.com/syncPrivate support to make opening up feel smooth, safe, and secure: thisisbgm.com/apply Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgm Get the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.com Apply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

    11 min

  7. MAR 5

    Pleasure Is Political

    What if your sex life wasn't a distraction from everything going on in the world right now but actually one of your most powerful responses to it? In this episode, Brian shares how your sex life is political. He breaks down how sex shame has been used as a tool of control, why it's important to feed your own sexual pleasure as a way to tend to your relationship (even when doing so feels scary), and what it actually means to claim sex and pleasure as an act of defiance in a political moment designed to make you feel small. This one is equal parts liberation theory and practical invitation. We need you fully alive and sex is part of that. If you're ready to stop putting your desire on hold and build a fuller, more alive erotic life, Relationshift private coaching with Brian will get you there. Your next step is to schedule a free Next Steps Call. Apply at thisisbgm.com/apply. Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgm Get the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.com Apply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

    15 min

  8. FEB 26

    How Sex Parties Can Lead to Connection and Creativity feat Jonah Wheeler

    In this episode, Brian G. Murphy talks with Jonah Wheeler (@ShowOffJonah) about finding community and meaning in group sex. Tune in if you're curious to give group sex try or wanting to feel more comfortable, less nervous, more confident, and less ashamed about the sex you're already having. This is one part how-to and best practices and another part about how to see group experiences not as something scandalous, secretive, or shameful but rather as fun, sexy, and even meaningful experiences. You'll learn some practical tips on cruising and consent, hear personal stories about two of Jonah's group experiences, and explore how to find confidence, connection, and community in group spaces. If you want more when it comes to sex—more confidence, more connection, more meaning, or just more of it... Relationshift private coaching with Brian will get you there. Interested? Your next step is to schedule a decision making call so Brian can do a deep dive into your desires and challenges, share all the details about coaching, and answer any questions you have. Apply here. This interview conversation was recorded as part of preparation for Brian's book Love Beyond Monogamy which is available everywhere books are sold. If you want to find even more connections sex, relationships, and spirituality (and hear even gems from Jonah), pick up a copy today! There's a part-two of this interview coming in a few weeks so make sure you're subscribed to get it when it drops! Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgm Get the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.com Apply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

    24 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

What if wanting more wasn’t selfish, but sacred?Permission to Want is a podcast for the curious, the courageous, the quirky, and consciously nontraditional. Hosted by author and certified relationship coach Brian G. Murphy, this show explores what it means to build fuller, more alive relationships and erotic lives and paints a picture of what’s possible when you find the courage to tell the truth about what you really want and say goodbye to shame or “shoulds.”Grounded in the wisdom of polyamory and other forms of ethical nonmonogamy, you’ll hear real-life stories and actionable insights that can enrich every relationship type: monogamous, open, polyamorous, single, or solo. Whether you're hoping to rekindle passion in a long-term relationship, healing from sexual shame, considering opening up, or just craving more intention in how you live and love, this is your permission slip.

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