31 min

Meltdowns and Safety Mastermind Parenting Podcast

    • Parenting

In this episode, I breakdown the concept of emotional safety; what it really looks like to have it, create it and demand it.
My own little “armchair expert” theory has led me to believe that many of us were not raised in environments where it was safe to feel all the intense feelings.
Humans crave to feel unconditionally loved and celebrated for the real person we were born to be. I see this time and time again when I really get to know people. 
I think we are born as perfect little humans and then the big humans accidentally send the littles the message that it’s not safe to be the honest, real, raw, messy, beautiful person you were intended to become.
Those messages are internalized and there are a variety of ways people deal with the pain that comes from not feeling fully expressed. Some people learn coping skills that allow them to live life on the surface and pretend the pain doesn’t exist.
This can seem like it’s working for the most part AND spoiler alert, there is an expiration date on that coping pattern. When life throws a curveball like it always does, the people who seem most “together” are often the first to fall apart. 
Then there are others who can’t pretend they feel good when they don’t.  These are the people where life involves a pretty good deal of suffering.
They have no problem acting out no matter who’s around. These are the sensitive people. The highly intuitive ones. These. Are. Our. Strong. Willed. Kids. They are begging for the grown ups to create emotional safety for them so they can feel seen, understood and safe to develop better skills to deal with the overwhelming big feelings in their bodies.
The frequent meltdowns over seemingly trivial things are always a sign that they are in emotional pain. Meltdowns will never be squashed until emotional safety is created.
Get my problem-solving one-sheet!
I created a simple one-sheet roadmap that will assist you in replacing the old school lectures with a tool that actually improves behavior through productive convos. Grab your problem-solving cheat sheet here: mastermindparenting.com/problemsolving
For more help, reach out to me for support: http://Randirubenstein.com/discovery
Get my Free Guide!
This guide contains the condensed nuggets of my mind mastering parenting recipe. I've been developing my signature Mastermind Parenting method for over twenty years and I'm BEEEyond thrilled to share it with you. It has the power not to just improve the conversations and relationships in your family but digging in and doing this work will change your life. I can't wait for you to get started so I can teach you everything! Head over here to get your copy https://mastermindparenting.com/freeguide
Apply for Free Coaching! Thank you so much for listening and being an amazing mama that listens to parenting podcasts! I absolutely love connecting with other moms during the Real Coaching with Randi monthly segment and share their story. If you would like to get some free coaching on a future episode, head over to https://mastermindparenting.com/freecoaching/ and hit the Apply button.
Get my book!
Hear about my family history and the tools that have helped me replace old parenting patterns that simply don’t work with these puzzling kiddos. It's my way of paying it forward as a human...

In this episode, I breakdown the concept of emotional safety; what it really looks like to have it, create it and demand it.
My own little “armchair expert” theory has led me to believe that many of us were not raised in environments where it was safe to feel all the intense feelings.
Humans crave to feel unconditionally loved and celebrated for the real person we were born to be. I see this time and time again when I really get to know people. 
I think we are born as perfect little humans and then the big humans accidentally send the littles the message that it’s not safe to be the honest, real, raw, messy, beautiful person you were intended to become.
Those messages are internalized and there are a variety of ways people deal with the pain that comes from not feeling fully expressed. Some people learn coping skills that allow them to live life on the surface and pretend the pain doesn’t exist.
This can seem like it’s working for the most part AND spoiler alert, there is an expiration date on that coping pattern. When life throws a curveball like it always does, the people who seem most “together” are often the first to fall apart. 
Then there are others who can’t pretend they feel good when they don’t.  These are the people where life involves a pretty good deal of suffering.
They have no problem acting out no matter who’s around. These are the sensitive people. The highly intuitive ones. These. Are. Our. Strong. Willed. Kids. They are begging for the grown ups to create emotional safety for them so they can feel seen, understood and safe to develop better skills to deal with the overwhelming big feelings in their bodies.
The frequent meltdowns over seemingly trivial things are always a sign that they are in emotional pain. Meltdowns will never be squashed until emotional safety is created.
Get my problem-solving one-sheet!
I created a simple one-sheet roadmap that will assist you in replacing the old school lectures with a tool that actually improves behavior through productive convos. Grab your problem-solving cheat sheet here: mastermindparenting.com/problemsolving
For more help, reach out to me for support: http://Randirubenstein.com/discovery
Get my Free Guide!
This guide contains the condensed nuggets of my mind mastering parenting recipe. I've been developing my signature Mastermind Parenting method for over twenty years and I'm BEEEyond thrilled to share it with you. It has the power not to just improve the conversations and relationships in your family but digging in and doing this work will change your life. I can't wait for you to get started so I can teach you everything! Head over here to get your copy https://mastermindparenting.com/freeguide
Apply for Free Coaching! Thank you so much for listening and being an amazing mama that listens to parenting podcasts! I absolutely love connecting with other moms during the Real Coaching with Randi monthly segment and share their story. If you would like to get some free coaching on a future episode, head over to https://mastermindparenting.com/freecoaching/ and hit the Apply button.
Get my book!
Hear about my family history and the tools that have helped me replace old parenting patterns that simply don’t work with these puzzling kiddos. It's my way of paying it forward as a human...

31 min