Kagro in the Morning David Waldman

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present the KITM Patriots Day Special… which was a holiday even before it became day one of Donald Trump’s first criminal trial. So far the trial is the trial of the century, despite Trump’s pleading, raging, ranting, and contempt. You know that it’s a big deal, even without Donald telling you so, because it’s so hard to bully or fake out a trial. 
Outside the courthouse, Trump’s follower covers his face. TFFG’s argument has been that “Everyone’s a crook so I have to be the biggest one.”, which usually is unpersuasive to judges, juries, and hopefully enough voters. People do tell pollsters whatever they feel like telling them, then vote however they feel like, when they feel like voting. Chris Sununu gave Republican voters permission to vote for Trump no matter what they have ever said.
Probably fewer people will vote for Robert F. Kennedy Jr. than who are related to him, but still enough to do damage.
Donald Trump’s bond insurer insurer has insured that their money will be staying in the Cayman islands.
As of press time, World War Three has not yet kicked off, thanks to the whole world being being cool and all. Now, if everyone stays that way, and slowly backs up, it could turn out just fine… if anyone does something stupid, or worse, it might not. Remember that time Republicans said they did something, but really didn’t?

Let’s see… What happened since we last talked? Trump supporter and wingman OJ Simpson died, which other than freeing up some tee time and reminding everyone of Norm Macdonald, doesn’t solve much. Allen Weisselberg has been taken into custody, again, for criming for Trump, again, but every little incarceration helps. And, David Waldman dropped a brand-new Friday KITM, which is always nice.
Speaking of Donald Trump, and when isn’t anybody speaking about Donald Trump? But maybe, just maybe, he’s going to criminal court... and maybe, just maybe, he’s heading towards justice. Maybe not.
Meanwhile, incumbent President Joe Biden is fighting to get on the ballot in Alabama and Ohio. Them’s the rules. The rules they always let slide until right about now.
And, what if the rules they’ve always followed were never the rules, but only a typo? Qualified Immunity isn't a law, is not in the Constitution, and as it turns out it has been all a misunderstanding.
The Justice Department urged House Republicans to “avoid conflict”, but that is kind of their thing.
Who is Nick Adams? What is Nick Adams? Does it really matter?
The more Trumpy VP contender Kristi Noem becomes, the less anyone likes her, and eventually Donald will hate her too.

On Today’s KITM David Waldman coaxed Greg Dworkin almost out to the full hour mark! Unfortunately David wasn’t able to do much better with our live feed, which passed away shortly after. Catch the full two hours on the link!
 
Let’s return to yesteryear, to the wild west of 1864 Arizona, 15 years before Wyatt Earp got a job with the Pima County Sheriff’s department. We see a lonesome stranger ride into town, though not just any ”stranger”, but probably one of the “strangest” ever:  W. Claude Jones, politician, poet, fabulist, "pursuer of nubile females," including several child brides... and one of the founders of AZ’s near-total ban on abortions.
 
Today’s Republicans clearly want these laws to happen. AZ Democrats trying to repeal the law were driven away. Trump and Kari Lake are on the record, with their support and also their opposition. Everybody gets what Republicans are trying to pull, except the New York Times, who refuse to tell dishonesty from complexity.
 
Potemkin Gop outreach centers are now filled with a wholly different array of dildos for 2024.
 
Donald Trump lost his third bid this week to delay next week’s “paying a porn star hush money to win an election” trial. Oh look! Donald just found exonerating evidence under this box of stolen atomic weapon secrets!
 
TFFG has no friends, but he sure does have a lot of acquaintances always ready to help him out. Trump Media was saved back in 2022 by Anton Postolnikov, nephew of Aleksandr Yakov Smirnov, and a deep acquaintance of Vladimir Putin. Postolnikov has a little bank on the Caribbean island of Dominica, Paxum Bank, a pornography investment concern… Not to be confused with Axos Bank, who saved Trump tower for Donald with their few hundred million. Axos is run by Gregory Garrabrants, who is heavily acquainted with Don Hankey and well, you know him. All of these guys rub elbows occasionally at various events, and the cash seems to just flake off. Young girls, lots of them, and very young, are also there, for some reason.

On today’s show, David Waldman coaxed Greg Dworkin to pull his Raft O’ Stories several more feet up the Big Kagro River. We might get to 10 tomorrow!
Everyone knows that the secret to comedy is... Donald Trump established himself as the 2024 Pro-Choice Candidate and Gops got in line to be lead out of the wilderness... Timing! The Arizona Supreme Court has gone pre-abolition, pre-suffrage, pre-antibiotics, pre-statehood, to illuminate what states rights really can do to human rights, banning abortion for everyone but their daughters, wives, etc. Democrats feel that this might work towards their benefit in the upcoming election. The New York Times warns that just because that happened the last few dozen times, doesn’t guarantee it will happen again. Americans might be ambivalent about abortion, but they do prefer their rights be left right where they left them.
Trump’s hush money charges are seen as serious by most voters. It might change a few minds, but you know MAGA. Keeping DJT stock at $9 billion requires mass delusion heretofore unwitnessed. And yet, President Joe Biden is making money and laying down tracks, and is maybe, an inch or so ahead. Maybe MAGA will become distracted by RFK Jr. and the Gerald Ford Foundation.
Allen Weisselberg is going back to jail, again for Trump. Don Hankey charged Donald a low, low, LOW craaaazy low fee upfront, but unlike Hankey’s previous customers, the repo men just might be coming for Hankey this time. Right-wing fraudsters are fined $1.25 million for their robocall scam, but who will pay their bill?
Trump’s lawyers not only go bad for Trump, but they go stupid too, just cannon fodder for the Big Stall.

Wasn’t that nice? We all had a pleasant experience together. The solar eclipse was partially visible from 49 U.S. states yesterday, with 15 of those being in the “path of totality”. David Waldman made his eclipse encounter extra exciting by also viewing missile launches at the slightly forebodingly named Wallops Flight Facility. No one, not even Fox could ruin the moment, although Marjorie Taylor Greene really, really tried.
Joan McCarter, out west with many natural wonders, wasn’t so impressed with the eclipse, or with Marge Greene either. Mike Johnson wants to be Marge’s friend oh so much, but nothing works, not even letting her run the sham impeachment of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, which Moscow Marjorie will no doubt gavel in using the butt of a handgun. (Mike has spent his entire House “Leadership” waiting for Ukraine to die, but no such deal for him.) The rest of her Gop comrades do nothing, just like they have for months, waiting for marching orders on abortion and IVF… at least orders that they can repeat with a straight face.
Meanwhile, even as the hounds close in on fugitive from justice Donald Trump, he continues to lure more into his life of crime. Trump’s $175 million bond makes no sense, unless you view it as his accomplices’ covering fire while he continues to make his escape.
Have you heard about the Kaspereks? The Lowes Island Kaspereks? It seems that they ran into a bit of trouble about January 6.

Are you better off now than you were four years ago?
Find out, with our April 8, 2020 episode!
As per tradition, it was the day David Waldman reserves a chair and facemask for Elijah. It was also a Wednesday, the day David reserves for Greg Dworkin, who traditionally visits via Skype. 
Dateline Somalia: A nation ravaged by pirates and rampant corruption, a population in anarchy as aid to those in need is commandeered by competing warlords for their own profit. Civilization crumbles into savagery. Back in the US, agents are seizing masks and other coronavirus supplies without a word, selling it to GOP-connected middlemen, intercepting, seizing, and "outbidding" the sales from those middlemen, then selling the gear thus seized BACK to those same middlemen in a victory for the free market. Of course these medical supplies aren’t counterfeit, are they? That would be Un-American. We’ll sue!
Barbados knows from pirates. The US introduces them to extortion after Rihanna tried to run the blockade.
Hydroxychloroquine could cause cardiac arrests. Hell, COVID-19 could cause cardiac arrests, so who  needs any more? Donald Trump does, because he and his voters need to feel smarter than doctors, and if Trump finds only one tenuous connection to one dubious success, well, that’s better than nothing. Also: money.
Donald Trump broke the agencies that were supposed to stop the Covid-19 epidemic and is killing all the watchdogs. The people who knew all along it was a hoax, will soon come to the conclusion that they knew along this was big trouble. (Unless they are already dead.) Will those people still vote for Trump, once they know this is all Donald’s fault? Maybe.
Bernie Sanders is correct as usual. The second most important vote of our lifetime has to be taken seriously, right now. Yesterday, the Wisconsin Republican party risked thousands of Democratic lives and even sacrificed a few of their own in what could be a template for November. It will take a while to figure out what just happened.
It is no longer infrastructure week, at least for a while, as Nancy Pelosi and Mitch McConnell make Phase 4 happen remotely.