Real conversations about aging parents

Rebecca Tapia, MD
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Real conversations about aging parents

Join me every week for REAL conversations about the ups, downs and sideways of navigating life with aging parents. We focus on mindset, education and collaboration through a willingness to discuss raw stories and all the sticky topics. Cultural pressure? Financial problems? Family dynamics? Fascinating!! No judgement here. No shoulds. Just a bunch of people figuring this out together. About the host: I am a recovering perfect daughter, elective roommate of my 90 year old grandmother, and a rehabilitation physician who has seen *thousands* of families navigate the chaos that can occur when the unexpected happens (falls, strokes, etc). I've been taking notes and I'm ready to share and listen.

  1. 1D AGO

    90 || Solo Podcast: Who is on your "Affection and Duty List"?

    Welcome! Establishing My Affection and Duty List In this episode I introduce a six-part series designed to help you navigate the complexities of supporting aging parents. I start by focusing on the 'who,' proposing the creation of an Affection and Duty List (ADL) to categorize individuals you might support. Using scales to measure affection (from -5 to +5) and duty (from 0 to 10), I discuss how emotions and obligations intertwine. Emphasizing the importance of connection, I encourage you to understand the underlying reasons for your feelings towards those on your list. This episode aims to give you a structured approach to identifying who in your orbit may require support now or in the future. 00:00 Introduction to the Series 01:33 Understanding the 'Who' in Caregiving 05:35 Affection and Duty: The ADL List 06:55 Affection Scale Explained 10:06 Duty Scale Explained 12:50 Combining Affection and Duty Scores 25:35 Fluidity of Affection and Duty Over Time 31:32 Conclusion and Next Steps Caveats: This is a judgement free zoneThere are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosityTake what works well for you, leave the rest!This podcast is for informational purposes only; it is not intended as formal legal, financial or medical advice If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too! Rebecca Website: rebeccatapiamd.com Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

    33 min

  2. JUL 2

    89 || Experts Opine: Senior Living 101 with Benjamin Surmi

    Welcome! In this episode I interview social gerontologist Benjamin Surmi and we discuss various aspects of aging, from professional roles in senior living to the importance of community and the different types of senior living arrangements available today. Introduction What Is Social Gerontology? Academic Path to Gerontology Work in Senior Living Communities Designing Senior Living Experiences Types of Senior Living Communities Financial Considerations Role of Long-Term Care Insurance Chooser a Senior Living Community Innovative and Future Trends More information About Benjamin Surmi and his communities: Koelsch Communities' website: https://koelschseniorcommunities.com Koelsch Communities' social media:  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KoelschCommunitiesLLC Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koelschcommunities/ Benjamin Surmi's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/benjaminsurmi/ Caveats: This is a judgement free zoneThere are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosityTake what works well for you, leave the rest!This podcast is for informational purposes only; it is not intended as formal legal, financial or medical advice If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too! Rebecca Link to my website Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

    58 min

  3. JUN 4

    88 || Wheelchairs, rollators, and walking sticks oh my

    Welcome! In this episode I discuss various broad types of mobility aids (wheelchairs, walkers, canes) just to give you an insight into how and when they are used to help people getting from point A to point B. Caveats: This is a judgement free zoneThere are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosityTake what works well for you, leave the rest!This podcast is for informational purposes only; it is not intended as formal legal, financial or medical advice If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too! Rebecca Website: rebeccatapiamd.com Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

    44 min

  4. MAY 21

    87 || Solo Podcast: Let's Talk Hospital Discharge Pitfalls

    Welcome! In this episode I review several pitfalls related to discharging from a hospital or rehab setting. Caveats: This is a judgement free zoneThere are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosityTake what works well for you, leave the rest!This podcast is for informational purposes only; it is not intended as formal legal, financial or medical advice If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too! Rebecca Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

    45 min

  5. APR 23

    86 || Solo Podcast: Keeping up Appearances

    Welcome! In this episode I talk about the visual experience of aging loved ones, what the nuerological basis is for these interactions, and some tips on how to adjust over time. Caveats: This is a judgement free zoneThere are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosityTake what works well for you, leave the rest!This podcast is for informational purposes only; it is not intended as formal legal, financial or medical advice If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too! Rebecca Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

    27 min

  6. APR 9

    85 || Doug: One day the shots won't work

    Welcome! In this episode of Real Conversations About Aging Parents, host Rebecca Tapia talks with Doug about his personal journey with his aging mother, who is currently in a nursing home. Doug shares insights into the emotional and logistical challenges involved, including the impact of his father's early death, his brother's passing, and his mother's health issues due to weight gain. The discussion covers the importance of pre-planning, having candid conversations about future care, and the financial and administrative aspects of long-term nursing home care. Doug also reflects on the emotional toll and the continuous need to adapt and find practical solutions. 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Scene 00:29 Doug's Background and Family History 01:28 Challenges with Aging Parents 04:44 Health Issues and Assisted Living Decisions 06:42 Transition to Nursing Home 11:40 Maintaining the Household 12:07 Selling the Car 12:43 Rising Costs of Care 13:52 Living Arrangements and Acceptance 14:26 Financial Concerns and Future Planning 14:54 Health and Support System 15:34 Challenges of Moving 16:20 Symbiotic Relationships 20:12 Power of Attorney and Financial Oversight 21:20 Preparing for the Future 25:00 Adapting to Nursing Home Life 25:53 Final Thoughts and Gratitude Caveats: This is a judgement free zoneThere are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosityTake what works well for you, leave the rest!This podcast is for informational purposes only; it is not intended as formal legal, financial or medical advice If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too! Rebecca Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

    30 min

  7. MAR 26

    84 || Mike: Dementia and the housekeeper who doesn't do a good job

    Welcome! In this episode I get to interview another volleyball parent, Mike, who shares a valuable journey in caring for his Mom who has worsening dementia. Caveats: This is a judgement free zoneThere are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosityTake what works well for you, leave the rest!This podcast is for informational purposes only; it is not intended as formal legal, financial or medical advice If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too! Rebecca Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

    39 min

  8. FEB 26

    83 || Frances: On Parenting your Parents

    Welcome! In this episode we discuss navigating Elder Care Challenges with Frances Reeves In this insightful episode of 'Real Conversations About Aging Parents,' host Rebecca welcomes Frances Reeves, an accomplished attorney and author. Frances shares her deeply personal journey dealing with her parents' aging process, including her mother's dementia and her father's cognitive decline. She discusses the challenges of long-term care insurance, Medicaid, and the emotional turmoil of caregiving. Frances also offers practical advice for adult children facing similar situations and touches on the importance of planning and elder care resources. The conversation covers a range of topics from financial planning to the emotional complexities of caring for aging parents. 00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction 00:38 Frances Reeves' Passion for Elder Care 01:39 Personal Journey with Aging Parents 02:39 Challenges of Long-Term Care 07:35 Navigating Long-Term Care Insurance 13:57 Transition to Assisted Living 22:07 Advice for Caregivers 25:22 Navigating Complex Parent-Child Relationships 26:16 Personal Struggles and Growth 30:08 Dealing with Estranged Parents 31:42 Transition to Elder Care Law 32:46 Challenges in Elder Care 38:27 Future Projects and Philosophies 40:03 Support Systems and Resources 44:25 Personal Anecdotes and Reflections 49:38 Conclusion and Contact Information H. Frances Reaves is an elder law attorney and author of Boomers Booming: How to Thrive After 65. Frances is the founder of Parent Your Parents (PYP), an organization dedicated to providing seniors with access to benefits and resources while safeguarding them from scams and exploitation. PYP offers a comprehensive approach, including legal support, therapy, and medical record reviews, ensuring that seniors and their families make informed decisions to create meaningful final chapters in their lives. More info at: https://parentyourparents.com/expert/frances-reaves/ If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too! Rebecca Caveats: This is a judgement free zoneThere are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosityTake what works well for you, leave the rest!This podcast is for informational purposes only; it is not intended as formal legal, financial or medical advice Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

    55 min
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About

Join me every week for REAL conversations about the ups, downs and sideways of navigating life with aging parents. We focus on mindset, education and collaboration through a willingness to discuss raw stories and all the sticky topics. Cultural pressure? Financial problems? Family dynamics? Fascinating!! No judgement here. No shoulds. Just a bunch of people figuring this out together. About the host: I am a recovering perfect daughter, elective roommate of my 90 year old grandmother, and a rehabilitation physician who has seen *thousands* of families navigate the chaos that can occur when the unexpected happens (falls, strokes, etc). I've been taking notes and I'm ready to share and listen.

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