280 episodes

Real Men Feel was founded to encourage men to allow for and express all of their emotions. We remind men that they are human beings. Producer and host, Andy Grant is an author, speaker, transformation coach, healer, and suicide attempt survivor. See show notes at http://realmenfeel.org. Learn more about Andy at http://TheAndyGrant.com. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support

Real Men Feel Andy Grant

    • Health & Fitness
    • 5.0 • 56 Ratings

Real Men Feel was founded to encourage men to allow for and express all of their emotions. We remind men that they are human beings. Producer and host, Andy Grant is an author, speaker, transformation coach, healer, and suicide attempt survivor. See show notes at http://realmenfeel.org. Learn more about Andy at http://TheAndyGrant.com. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support

    Never Give Up | It Does Get Better

    Never Give Up | It Does Get Better

    WARNING: This episode discusses suicidal thoughts and attempts.

    If you are in crisis, do not listen to this episode. Please call or text 988 to be connected to trained counselors that are part of the National  Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. https://988lifeline.org

    If you are outside of the US, please search for suicide prevention in your country.
    https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11181469

    Last November - 2021 - I stopped doing all the positive things in my life. I chose to dive straight into depression, solitude, and misery. I stopped doing this podcast. I stopped leading men's groups. I stopped being open to new coaching clients. I stopped exercising. I stopped every positive daily ritual I've developed over the years.

    The exact circumstances of what started this dark period aren't important because there is always something we can focus on to our detriment. This life can be heaven or hell; it comes down to us; our outlook, perception, thinking, judgment, and actions.

    I took minimal action for months.

    I wanted to remind you and myself where I was a year ago because of the rapid change, resilience, support, and positive energy that is available to all of us - but not until we are willing to accept it.

    Whenever you feel like shit, if you are under siege by your own thoughts saying you should check out of life early - do something for somebody. Make some effort of service for another human being. I find that always changes my mood and outlook.

    Life is good. You are good. Please allow yourself to feel that truth.

    If you need daily reminders to be of service, to share yourself, and better your mood - I recently discovered Do Good December - a monthly calendar of simple things you can do to spread more love and kindness. I've posted it to Real Men Feel Facebook and IG pages, and I'll make sure it is part of this episode's post on RealMenFeel.org if you want to track it down.



    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    YouTube | Real Men Feel


    ---

    Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/message
    Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support

    • 5 min
    Men & Sex | Fear in Our Sexual Relationships with Women

    Men & Sex | Fear in Our Sexual Relationships with Women

    My returning guest today is Dr. Avrum Weiss. Dr. Weiss is a psychotherapist, award-winning author, speaker, and teacher. His decade-long work on understanding the inner lives of men culminated with his recently published bestseller "Hidden in Plain Sight: How Men's Fears of Women Shape Their Intimate Relationships."

    We talk about what a man's lack of sexual desire means for a relationship and the root causes of that low desire. Learn what men are taught about sex that harms our relationships and how not to see sex as a performance.

    "Think of foreplay as starting the minute you open your eyes in the morning" ~Dr. Avrum Weiss

    Too many men ignore their sexual desires and use sex as validation and reassurance. Sex is about more than orgasm. Men often get a bad rap as being selfish lovers, but your pleasure does matter.

    Topics and Questions


    1:50 Is there a particular fear that men have of women, or are there lots of them?
    2:50 - The reason behind low sexual desire in men.
    4:15 - Why are men so preoccupied with women's orgasms?
    6:55 Men are not experiencing a whole lot of pleasure in sex.
    10:23 - If men's fear of women goes back to Adam and Eve, is that just how it is?
    11:49 - Do men cover up their distress from women?
    12:21 - How do men go over this sense of competition in sex?
    14:43 - How do we get men and women to understand each other better?
    15:24 - What are men afraid of related to sex?
    17:27 - Is monogamy an artificial creation?
    20:07 - Humans are driven by fear.
    20:52 - Do women and men see sexual issues or challenges the same way?
    22:34 - Cultural differences around the world.
    23:22 - What is the best step for a man with low sexual desire to change that and improve his relationship?
    24:33 - Is there one more thing you wish more men knew about sex?
    26:48 - Don't make sex the last thing you do in a day
    31:08 - What women say they learned from their mothers about men.
    32:32 - What is the best way for people to learn more about your work?

    Links

    Avrum Weiss PhD -- https://www.avrumweissphd.com/

    Hidden in Plain Sight: How Men's Fears of Women Shape Their Intimate Relationships -- On Amazon

    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    YouTube | Real Men Feel


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    Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/message
    Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support

    • 35 min
    Covenant House Sleep Out | On Location

    Covenant House Sleep Out | On Location

    For the first time, Real Men Feel is on location. This week's show checks in from Covenant House's Sleep Out in Boxboro, Massachusetts.

    Andy took part in a fundraising event for Covenant House that involved giving up his bed for one night to raise funds to get more young people off the streets. People choose to spend a night outside to help those who don't have a choice.

    We talk with Jill Vorndran, Covenant House's Chief Development Officer.

    Topics and Questions

    2:59 - What is going on tonight?
    3:25 - Is this a global event?
    3:54 - What is the point of the Sleep Out?
    4:34 - What is the age range of Covenant House clients?
    5:30 - What are you saving people from?
    8:12 - Is this an annual event?
    9:38 - It is an issue of individual circumstances that brings someone to Covenant House.

    You can create a Sleep Out event at any time by visiting CovenantHouse.org.

    Andy shares his immense gratitude for all his blessing. You can contribute to the cause until the end of the year. Please visit https://www.sleepout.org/participant/andygrant

    "I attempted to treat Friday like a typical day, but it wasn't possible. I knew I'd get less sleep at the Sleep Out, but I didn't expect how little I got. My thinking and energy were a struggle. I fell asleep twice in my office chair while attempting to work. I couldn't hit the gym, conversations were a challenge, and editing this week's show took much longer than it would normally. I fell asleep around 9 pm Friday and slept straight till 7 am Saturday.

    This was all from only one night on the streets. Many homeless people have full-time jobs, are full-time students, or even both, and can't afford a safe place to live. They deal with the daily battle of never having enough sleep and struggling to think clearly. If you are not in that situation, please give some compassion to those who are."

    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    YouTube | Real Men Feel


    ---

    Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/message
    Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support

    • 13 min
    Being Of Service | One Man's Journey

    Being Of Service | One Man's Journey

    Real Men Feel hosts conversations that most men aren't having but that all men can benefit from. My favorite sort of guest is someone who shares their journey and how they are now serving people. That's what we have for you today.

    My guest is healer, coach, and men's group facilitator Justin Gagne. We talk about seeking more depth, being called to your purpose, loss, grief, anger, and recovery from alcoholism. Justin's experience in the darkness made him want to help others through that faster.

    We explore being an empathetic child, the gifts of Covid isolation, and doing the inner work to become a better version of yourself. Justin expresses his anger over losing his mother and the resulting spiritual awakening. Including powerful experiences and lucid dreams with his guides.

    We discuss the importance of embracing your masculine and feminine energy. Justin shares how his father was a role model for service to others, showing him what soft, kind, gentle men could look like.

    Topics and Questions

    1:04 - What prompted you to want to lead men's groups?

    1:52 - Have you always been seeking more depth?

    2:22 - What experiences let you know you were being called to something?

    4:04 - What were you angry about?

    6:40 - What was the turning point for you?

    7:45 - Could you work on yourself while drinking or only after?

    11:57 - The healing power of being of service.

    13:00 - What were your experiences as a kid?

    15:52 - What first got you into healing?

    19:31 - What does divine masculine mean to you?

    21:53 - What man had the most significant impact on you?

    23:36 - Does he know how much he means to you?

    24:37 -What are you proud of?

    26:10 - What are you looking forward to?

    26:45 - How does someone know the right direction?

    29:45 - Is there anything you wish you had learned at a younger age?

    31:08 -What is one thing you wish more men knew?

    33:02 - How can people learn more or connect with you?



    Connect with Justin at
    https://www.facebook.com/TheSavingLight

    Grab some gear at realmenfeel.org/swag.

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    YouTube | Real Men Feel


    ---

    Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/message
    Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support

    • 35 min
    Cultural Appropriation | Misappropriations and The ManKind Project

    Cultural Appropriation | Misappropriations and The ManKind Project

    Right now, I should be volunteering at a New Warrior Training Adventure, a weekend event run worldwide by the ManKind Project. But a couple of weeks ago, Oct 11 to be exact, it was canceled by MKP USA. All the planned New Warrior Training Adventures, NWTAs, were canceled in the US for the rest of 2022. The cancellations were due to charges of cultural appropriation from a group of Native American elders called Spirit.

    First off, let me clarify that I am a middle-aged white American man. I have no insight into what it means to be Native American, or any other race or culture for that matter. I am sharing my opinions and asking questions. I am not representing any other individual or group.

    And I'm willing to be wrong about everything I think I know.

    When I discovered that all NWTAs were canceled, I was shocked, disappointed, and hurt. My NWTA was back in October 2016. There was a lot of Native American ritual and ceremony, and it was presented very respectfully, honoring where they came from and giving full acknowledgment. It was stressed how much training ManKindProject (MKP) men had with the Lakota people to learn what we would be doing.

    I thought cultural appropriation meant taking something from another culture and claiming it as your own. MKP never did that in anything I was involved in. Nobody in MKP claimed to have invented the sweat lodge or any other rituals I took part in. The sweat lodge seems to be the main point of contention, but it is just one of many different events that make up the NWTA weekend.

    My brief research found that many cultures have used sweat lodges for purification, healing, and relaxation. Most commonly known are Native Americans, but also the Mayans, Aztecs, and across Europe as early as the 5th century. https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Sweat_lodge

    MKP Statement included: "A public campaign against the ManKind Project over concerns about cultural appropriation launched in the evening of Oct 6, 2022. One aspect of the campaign encourages public protests at NWTA locations across the country. The locations of our events were published.

    After assessing the content on the website, it became apparent that to proceed would put MKP participants and volunteers at risk."

    America is a melting pot of hundreds of cultures. Borrowing from other cultures is inevitable; it can be positive. To me, it is the evolution of society.

    Centuries ago, people came to North America and saw natives as less than.

    The letter from Spirit (https://www.spiritprotection.org/letter-to-mkp) makes it clear that native people are still hurting.

    To me, MKP has been trying to honor the native practices they use, but it is not seen that way by all native leaders.

    You can do the right thing and still have it be the wrong thing.

    Earlier this year, the ManKind Project USA published a statement, “Acknowledging and Evolving Our Relationship with Indigenous Peoples and Practices.”

    Note: NWTA  events continue to happen outside of the US.

    Connect with Andy and RMF

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant
    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!
    YouTube | Real Men Feel


    ---

    Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/message
    Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support

    • 9 min
    Gender Role Socialization | How Men Learn To Be Men

    Gender Role Socialization | How Men Learn To Be Men

    #RealMenFeel ep 276 Gender Role Socialization | How Men Learn To Be Men

    Real Men Feel hosts conversations that most men aren't having but that all men can benefit from. Today we explore the ways we learn how to be men. Much of that comes from a life-long socialization process, specifically gender role socialization.

    My guest Dr. Bill DeFranc is a licensed psychologist who has worked in schools, hospitals, group practices, and college counseling centers and had a parenting consulting business. He was an Instructor at Harvard Medical School and has published research on men's gender role socialization.

    We discuss the positive and negative outcomes of gender role socialization and why men often hold themselves to a more rigid definition of manliness. Bill shares how his research impacted his being a father and the one thing he wishes more men knew.

    "If you can't see shades of grey, it's going to be a problem." Dr. Bill DeFranc

    Listen in to discover the most common issues Dr. DeFranc sees in clients related to men's gender role conflict and the shame it can create.

    Topics and Questions


    0:55 - What is gender role socialization?
    1:31 - What are some common ways that men are socialized?
    2:43 - Does socialization ever stop?
    3:34 - Is it difficult to go against your gender socialization?
    5:57 - What are some problematic issues for me?
    8:22 - What are some beneficial outcomes of gender role socialization for men?
    11:12 - Is age a significant factor in the impact of receiving gender role messages?
    12:13 - What is toxic masculinity?
    14:14 - What is gender role conflict?
    15:08 - What got you interested in this?
    17:08 - Did anything surprise you in your research?
    18:33 - How did that research affect you as a father?
    22:11 - Is it each generation's job to push back at their socialization?
    24:30 - Do you have advice for parents raising boys?
    28:08 - What issues are you seeing in male clients?
    31:05 - Who had the most significant impact on you learning what it means to be a man?
    32:54 - Did attending an all-male school give you a more rigid version of masculinity or a more expanded one?
    34:55 - What is one thing you wish more men knew?
    36:17 - What's the best way to find out more about you?

    Grab some men's gear at realmenfeel.org/swag.

    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    YouTube | Real Men Feel


    ---

    Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/message
    Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support

    • 37 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
56 Ratings

56 Ratings

Cg911 ,

Andy is a real man

Thinking about you Andy. Good to hear your voice again.

anxiouslyattached ,

Just a hello and a thank you

Andy, you are an amazing human being and I just want to thank you for your body of work and for your vulnerability at this difficult time for you. I am the wife of a man that faithfully listens and when he finds content of yours that resonates he shares it with me. You have helped us both immensely improve ourselves as individuals and as a unit. We still have a long way to go and it’s still a lot of ups and downs but your very raw, real return reminded me that just because you’re in a struggle doesn’t mean you’re not still on a path to enlightenment and healing. It’s a part of the journey. I am in a terrible depression right now and it’s definitely the most dark, painful parts of my childhood that are surfacing. I think that sometimes stuff is so hard that we have to heal other things first in order to have the strength to handle the the things that hurt us the most, the things that we’ve carried with us for most, if not all of our lives. I want you to know that you don’t just help men, you help people, couples, their children, and anyone that loves the person that is listening, reading or watching your content. I want you to know that you help me, and if knowing that helps you in some small way, which I hope it does, that gives me more hope too. More hope that I can come out of my depression. We really are all connected. Love and light to you, kind sir.

malfoxley ,

Great show!

Andy, host of the podcast, highlights all aspects of men’s mental health and more in this can’t miss podcast! The host and expert guests offer insightful advice and information that is helpful to anyone that listens!

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