What if you had to choose between your own career and supporting your spouse? What if you were afraid to share photos of your kids and your spouse, or even share your last name in public, because of the constant threat of danger? What if you lived a cycle of meeting new people, finding a close friend, and then having to say goodbye because you were just told you will be moving to a place you did not choose - again? If you had to help your kids do the same?
That’s just a sliver of what it’s like to be married to an active duty member of the military. Tiffany and Tara - we can’t share their last names - know all about it.
Granted not all of the military community lives in fear of sharing their full identities, but many of the Special Forces do. As for the rest of it, it’s pretty much par for the course for those in the regular military. For those in the Reserve and National Guard communities, it’s a little different. Those families live among the civilian communities. They are your neighbors, your teachers, your landscapers, your doctors, your police and first responders, and even your elected officials. They live without the ever-revolving but still a tight-knit community of other families who understand the life attached to loving someone who must constantly leave their family to deploy to places they cannot always disclose.
Marrying a member of the military while that person is still in service means you face a staggering divorce rate, months of living alone, and constant worry.
It would be a terrible life if you chose to see it that way. But for women like Tiffany and Tara, it’s about more than the hard times. It’s about remembering to be grateful for the blessings in life. It’s about being proud of their spouses’ service and leading their children by example. It’s about the men these two women fell in love with and committed to spending their lives with. It’s hard but it’s not impossible, and Tiffany and Tara are easing the strain for themselves and other military spouses through their podcast, Real Talk With the Ms’s.