Relationships: What About Your Friends‪?‬ Femmefluence Radio

When you’re a busy, driven, ambitious woman, having real friendships with other grown women can be difficult. It’s not easy to create time, space and energy to nurture relationships - so what are we supposed to do? In this episode we talk about the reality that is creating authentic friendships and prioritizing what we look for in other women. Your episode worksheet: Femmefluence.com/ep16
Key Points from this Episode:
Friendship has always been a love / wanna be loved relationship for me.  If you’ve just joined us on Femmefluence Radio, you may have heard my story of being heavily bullied growing up. So bullied that during the summers when we were out of school I was actually more scared than when we were in school - because it gave the bullies (all girls) more time to harass me. I spent a few summers literally without hair on my head because of being what we called in our little town “mobbed” when I was out and about. The few friends that I had, I cherished. But I did dream of a day when I’d have girls around me who not only had my back, but that I could have deep, meaningful relationships with. That I could bring myself fully to. I wanted that Sex in the City life - I wanted my personal Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte (of course I was Carrie because #shoes)... But in my early 20s, instead of making that a priority, I was swept up with marriage, motherhood, career...my few friends growing up were definitely on a different track than me - we had zero in common. I grieved that because the 2 friends I actually had growing up felt so distant. I thought I’d never have life-giving, nourishing, REAL-ationships with women in the way I dreamed ever. I felt envy for those those that seemed to have those girlfriend trips, book clubs, hangouts at church and after-work mixers - and it wasn’t that I wasn’t invited, I just felt that I didn’t belong. But I also knew that the type of women I wanted to become close with had to have at least a few qualities and values that made our interactions meaningful and deep. I abhor small talk so if I was going to spend time away from my kids and career, I wanted to create relationships that had a few things in common: ambitious and unapologetic about it, loved travel, and invested in personal development.  Optional: they had kids or a family life that has high on the priority list without being a victim to it. Also wasn’t overly sensitive and understood that we’re all busy, but were committed to each other in a “be there for you in a kind of way”.  Basically, I was always looking to build a relationship with grown women who genuinely cared. I honestly didn’t know it they existed because of my former programming and beliefs growing up. Plus, let’s get real: LIFE can totally get in the way. But it’s becoming even more important in today’s world (and it won’t be getting easier with technology replacing connection IRL). Western societies have become more socially isolated over the decades because of all of it. And it’s causing major health issues - mentally and physically.  Any amount of increase in our social isolation would be bad news, because friendship isn't just about fun, fellowship and emotional health. Having friends can improve physical health, too.  So my friend listening in here...here’s why WE need to make friendship a priority in our lives - while having discernment around who gets to have our time and energy (because hello, we’re ambitious women changing the world - we need to be sentinels of our time, while being with a squad that supports us) Here are the top 3 reasons why FRIENDSHIP makes us more effective Femmefluencers: Friends may extend your life and generally, make you healthier and sharper People who have strong social relationships are less likely to die prematurely than people who are isolated. In fact, according to a 2010 review of research, the effect of social ties on life span is twice as strong as that of exercising, an