Rethinking Sex Addiction: Trauma, Shame & Compulsive Sexuality, with Diana Safta & Silva Neves

Hosted by J'aime Rothbard and Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard.

In this soft and flowing conversation, Silva Neves differentiates the term "sex addiction" from "sexual compulsivity," as addiction is an independent disorder, while compulsion arises from environmental distress. Like food, sex is a primary drive, and has a natural physiological stopping point not present in other addictions. The analogy of food and diverse cuisines to normalize conversations about sexuality, highlighting that different tastes and preferences in food are accepted, but similar differences in sexuality are often judged.

Diana and Silva also highlight: - How religions' prohibition of 'sex for pleasure' causes widespread shame, which has been identified as a significant driver of sexual compulsivity and distress. - Why medical professionals and therapists feel discomfort discussing sexual issues - How societal judgments about sexual behaviors suppress curiosity and open communication. - Why problematic porn viewing is often a symptom of underlying mental health issues

The episode concludes with a message of love, connection, and the idea that sexuality is not the opposite of spirituality, but a part of our common humanity, inviting us to bring softness and curiosity to our inner worlds of pleasure and intimacy.

About Silva Neves, Psychosexual, Relationship EMDR & Trauma Psychotherapist

An award-winning, experienced psychosexual and relationship therapist, Silva is a specialist in the treatment of compulsive sexual behaviours and in working with survivors of sexual abuse. He also offers clinical supervision to psychotherapists, psychologists, counselors and other mental health professionals.

• The author of 4 books: Compulsive Sexual Behaviours, (2021) Sexology, (2023). Erotically Queer, (2023) and Relationally Queer, (2023) Silva also provides clinical training on the topics of sex and relationships, compulsive sexual behaviours, trauma and grief to his international following.

• An editorial board member of Sexual and Relationship Therapy (an international journal) and a Clinical Associate with Pink Therapy, in 2023, Silva was the recipient of the Sexual Freedom Ally Award for his contribution to the field of sexology. His many accreditations include: AccCOSRT, AccCOSRT(sup), UKCP registered, MNCPS(Acc.), Reg.MBACP, and Accred AGSRDT.

About Diana Safta, Compassionate Inquiry Facilitator and Psychotherapist

An active psychologist with a MA in Clinical Psychology, Diana blends Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Schema Therapy, Systemic Therapy and the teachings of countless diverse courses, workshops and retreats on topics ranging from shamanic practices to mindfulness and meditation. Along with her expertise, Diana's clients receive her openness, kindness, and compassion.

After realizing that her art career, while interesting, lacked fundamental meaning, then experiencing a divorce, Diana began a personal healing journey in which she learned that her childhood traumas were still actively influencing her adult life decisions.

After 8+ years of psychotherapy, Diana discovered Compassionate Inquiry, which enabled her to release her old coping mechanisms and habits, and move to a higher level of consciousness, embodiment, and self-connection.

Today, in addition to offering therapy to clients in Romanian and English, both online and in-person (in Bucharest), Diana supports the Compassionate Inquiry Community as a Facilitator, Mentor and Circle Leader.

Promotional Message:

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Resources

Websites:

Diana's Professional Profile

Silva's Professional Website

Silva's Sex Positivity Website

Silva's Counselling Directory Profile

Silva's Sexology Institute Profile

Courses:

Compassionate Inquiry Training Programs

Silva's NScience Courses

Silva's PesiUK Courses

Podcasts:

The Meaningful Life (2021)

The Smart Connector (2023)

Events:

ReConnect 2025 - Bucharest

Books:

Compulsive Sexual Behaviours. A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians

Sexology: The Basics

Erotically Queer. A Pink Therapy Guide for Practitioners

Relationally Queer. A Pink Therapy Guide for Practitioners

Quotes:

"There was a time before the modern religions, as we know them today, when there was such a different relationship with sex and sexuality,..modern religions… have lots of prohibitions around sexuality.... there are so many things about sex that people believe to be true [that] are just constructs that have [their] origins in religion." - Silva Neves

"It's much easier to speak about pleasure when it's the culinary taste. But a different aspect of pleasure that [we've] been conditioned for hundreds of years not to speak about,. [This] made us exile our connection to sexuality and life force and creativity and the joys of life." - Diana Safta

Social Media:

IG: Diana, Silva

FB: Diana

X: Silva