The 100 Word Stories Podcast Laurence Simon

Lisa
Lizzie
Richard
Serendipidy
Norval Joe
Tom
Planet Z


The next topic is Has-beens

LISA

Our Adductor Explains

“The wealth we have is beyond comprehension. This has, in some respects, made us into outsiders. Neither of us fit into traditional society or, indeed, like society. So, we would like to start something else.

A sort of new community built on love and trusting. That’s why, you see, taking you all against your will wasn’t the right start for this. I’d prefer it if you’d chosen to be here in the first place. We both hope that now you’re here you’ll choose to stay with us. We won’t force anyone so please, do say if you’d rather leave.”

RICHARD

Outsider

Even after all these years, I'm treated like an outsider. So what if I've lived here since I was a young man? I wasn't born here: That's why I'll never fit in.

It doesn't matter to them that my accent is strange, or that my skin is a different colour. They don't care that I worship other gods and follow my own traditions.

None of this bothers them.

But they still watch me, with suspicion in their gaze; fall silent when I approach; they still keep their secrets from me.

I was born an outsider, and an outsider I remain.

TOM

Outsider

Frank and Bill met in grad-school. Both brilliant, top of class, destine for greatness. Frank became the consummate Insider. Walked the halls of powers. Knew the power elite. His council was sought out by the Half a Percent. Bill on the other hand was the consummate Outsider. He left no foot print in the corporal or the cyber world. Basically, he was off the grid, in deep cover. When Interpol finally caught up with Frank and sent him to the Hague for war crimes, it was Bill who sprung him. No one saw him coming no saw them go outside.

857

Crash

My dad had Chutzpah. If there was an event in his neighborhood where free-food was served, he and my godfather Eddie would crash it in the most brazen ways. Friend of the groom to her family. Friend of the bride to his. One night he got hold of the mic and sang to the newlyweds. Even got their names wrong, but it didn’t matter, boy could he sell it. My dad crashed funerals. In Chicago wakes had excellent spreads. He could turn on the water-works on cue. One time he broke down in tear in the arms of the archbishop.

SERENDIPIDY

Another Outsider came today
I threw stones at him, and he went away
I just want to help, I heard him say
But help from strangers isn't my way
He'll be back again sometime, I know
But I'll throw more stones, and away he'll go
The Outsiders say they have my welfare at heart
But I'd rather live my life apart
From those who think they are so smart.
Yet still they continue to come around
They shout and yell when I go to ground.
Why can't they all leave and let me be
And remain Outsiders, just like me?

LIZZIE

The family and the outsider. The mother, the father, the brother, the sister. A family like so many. The hugs and the smiles. The praises and the photos. A family like any other. Everyone smiled. Everyone thought, what a wonderful family. So loving, so caring. The kids look so happy. Except for the outsider. She was not happy. Why do you always have to frown for the photos? Why can't you be quiet? Why can't you be more like your sister? Why do we even bother? The outsider was never hugged or praised... or loved. The outsider was her daughter.

NORVAL JOE

After three days of getting the same answer to his calls to the hospital, Billbert was fed up. He left school and went straight to the hospital.
He picked up the phone outside the ICU and told the ward clerk he was there to see Sabrina Hecksaohos.
"I've told you before, Billbert. Only family members can come in to visit."
Frustrated, Billbert said, "And I told you before, I'm not some random outsider. I'm her only friend, and she needs me to see her. I'm going to sit here in the hallway, outside your door,

As I strolled down the avenue, I realized that my shadow was not my own.
The embassy frequently warned us about rogue shadows, the shadows of their greatest and most successful spies.
“Watch your back!” Say the posters.
This is why all official business happens in specially-built light rooms, with light coming from all directions to purge any rogue shadows.
Trapped in dark prisms and shadow boxes, kept in a massive safe.
Until the enemy offers an exchange.
Their captured shadows for ours.
Lining up on the bridge, facing each other, flashlights and spotlights to ensure they are genuine.

The problem with naming things New is that they eventually become old.
New Coke was a total flop, and Coke had to bring back their old formula.
They called it Coke Classic, eventually dropping the Classic along with New Coke.
New Wave music ruled the late 70's and early 80's, conquering consciousnesses through MTV.
Until the fad was replaced with newer music, coming back now and then as retro through tribute acts.
Then there's New York and New England.
What's so new there?
They're just old, dilapidated piles of rubble with the occasional bright and shiny sticking out of them.

I don't know what's so exciting about the home run derby.
Some guy lobs easy pitches to a batter, and they slug them over the fence.
Over and over and over.
Where's the challenge in that?
What I really want to see is the steal home plate derby.
That's where the real excitement is, a guy stealing home.
Although it's kind of hard to do in a derby, since they know the guy is going to try to steal home.
So, instead, let's go with a Bench Clearing Brawl Derby.
Give the winner a pickup truck.
And an ice pack.

Elwood had a decent credit rating, so he got a lot of credit card offers in the mail.
They were better than the high-interest service fee cards he'd gotten when he was poor and broke.
But he looked at the cashback offers for the store cards, and he noticed that they paid out less than other general bank cards for the same category.
So, he broke into his neighbors' mailboxes with better credit ratings, got cards in their names, and ran up huge tabs.
Then he drove off to Mexico.
At least the neighbors got good cashback on his fraud.

I like to walk to the grocery store every Saturday.
If it's going to be a very hot day, I go as early as I can.
And I take a route that's through a nice neighborhood with shady trees and wide sidewalks.
There's joggers, people pushing strollers, and others going to the store or coming back from it with their bags.
Today, I walked past a couple walking their two dogs.
Well, one was laying on the ground, not moving, and another was sniffing it and whining.
The couple was crying.
Maybe it's too hot out to walk, after all?