Ringheads Bill Corbett & Sean Thomason

We're hanging out with the horselords for a while. Having funerals, discussing imminent war, performing wizard-exorcisms. It's a fun place these days. Also, Edoras: magnificent seat of kings or scrubby little town? Finally, the new duo of Saruman and Wormtongue start their twisted relationship, and all the couples counselors in Middle Earth can't help them.

This part of the movie has lots of critters emerging in Middle Earth: incredibly big, incredibly dumb trolls; beautifully-styled godlike horses; giant tree-men who recite their own bad poetry; other trees who are basically serial killers; and maybe most astonishing: dudes who ride horses! Is this the turn of the tide, or is the newly resurrected version of Gandalf a shiny white liar? Find out!

Gollum gives a tour of the Dead Marshes, which is full of ghouls, evil intent and, possibly worse - it really really stinks. And Gandalf is back from the great beyond! He brings great light and hope, but stresses that he is color-coded differently this time. No one else understands what he means.

Saruman keeps hating on trees. Trees keep hating on him, and everyone else. Trees are weird as hell. Also - it's Rohan time! Wormtongue makes a strong, wormy entrance. Plus: find out why the Rohirrim are "horse famous" even though they might be more closely related to bears.

What, there's another movie?? We begin delving, in our usual excessively greedy and deep fashion, into the second film of the Peter Jackson LOTR trilogy. It contains a certain number of towers. Also: Gollum's back in town, baby!

We've reached the end of Fellowship of the Ring. So that's it, there's no more Lord of the Rings movies! ....hahaha. Ha. No. Wrapping up FOTR with some of most emotionally wrenching parts of the entire trilogy [*sniff* Boromir *sniff*], plus a twisted pain-loving Uruk Hai leader with a goofy name, hobbits who can throw rocks with the deadliness of bazooka fire, and even more crying (by Aragorn, Sam and especially Bill).