56 episodes

If you're like many ambitious women, you have big visions and deep desires for every area of your life. But if your RELATIONSHIP vision seems elusive, if you find yourself feeling frustrated, disappointed, and wondering “Is it me? Is it you? Or are passion and desire just doomed to fade over years together?” you’re not alone. But here’s the good news: You are not the problem, your partner is not the problem, and you CAN have the relationship you envision! Creating the love and sex you want simply requires a new mindset and practicing a few key skills and habits. Welcome to Sex. Love. Power. This is the only intimacy podcast devoted to helping powerful women create deeply satisfying love & sex in committed long-term relationships. I'm your host Michele Lisenbury Christensen. I've been helping high-profile couples create what they desire in love and sex for more than twenty-four years, and I’ve been through my share of joys and pains in my own twenty-plus year marriage to Kurt. Now, I’m here to help you get more peace, more connection, and more passion in your days and nights, so you’ve got the energy and attention left over to be the change you wish to see in the wider world. Everything you want in love and sex starts with YOU, and it starts right now. Let’s reignite your spark!

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them Michele Lisenbury Christensen

    • Society & Culture
    • 5.0 • 20 Ratings

If you're like many ambitious women, you have big visions and deep desires for every area of your life. But if your RELATIONSHIP vision seems elusive, if you find yourself feeling frustrated, disappointed, and wondering “Is it me? Is it you? Or are passion and desire just doomed to fade over years together?” you’re not alone. But here’s the good news: You are not the problem, your partner is not the problem, and you CAN have the relationship you envision! Creating the love and sex you want simply requires a new mindset and practicing a few key skills and habits. Welcome to Sex. Love. Power. This is the only intimacy podcast devoted to helping powerful women create deeply satisfying love & sex in committed long-term relationships. I'm your host Michele Lisenbury Christensen. I've been helping high-profile couples create what they desire in love and sex for more than twenty-four years, and I’ve been through my share of joys and pains in my own twenty-plus year marriage to Kurt. Now, I’m here to help you get more peace, more connection, and more passion in your days and nights, so you’ve got the energy and attention left over to be the change you wish to see in the wider world. Everything you want in love and sex starts with YOU, and it starts right now. Let’s reignite your spark!

    Time Alone Together Ambivalence

    Time Alone Together Ambivalence

    Do you find yourself saying, "We're so busy, I feel like roommates?” Or maybe you say, "We know we need to go on dates, but we never seem to get around to it. And then if we do go, a lot of times we get into a fight." Today on Sex. Love. Power., we're talking about spending more time together. Whether that's talking, having fun, or getting naked together. We're going to cover how to recognize the resistance so you can break through those totally understandable obstacles and actually get more closeness and heat between you.

    As you listen to this episode, we’ll talk about:
    Why time alone together matters for your relationship in the long-termThe reasons you don’t spend time together, even if you know you shouldHow to keep alone time from turning into a conflictThe habits that are keeping you from truly connecting and new ones you can formAnd more. 

    E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

    “We need to have more fun together. In order to help us resolve some of these conflicts. It's not the other way around, where we have to resolve these conflicts before we can have fun together.”
    -Michele Lisenbury Christensen


    Hot Moments in This Episode:
    The six reasons time together can be uncomfortable [5:44]What to do if you don’t have anything to talk about together [8:51]Why you are disappointed with the time you spend with your partner [13:23]Why you might want to start with being alone with yourself first [17:05]I hope that you are inspired to experiment with these ideas just a little bit, and then build from there so that you can give and receive more joy or pleasure and more care.

    If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

    • 20 min
    Dominance and Submission

    Dominance and Submission

    Do you feel like you're always in charge, like you're always handling all the heavy lifting in your shared life? Or do you ever feel your partner can be so controlling or perfectionistic that you tend to hang back? Both of these situations are issues of what I call polarity - the interaction between dominance and submission (and, no, I’m not just talking about in bed). If you want to go from frustration and jockeying for position, or avoiding conflict, over to playful, effective interactions sizzling with energy, this is the episode for you. 
    As you listen to this episode, you’ll learn:
    How the dynamics of dominance and submission play out in everyday lifeWhat can go wrong when you’re missing polarityThe three keys to creating an arc of polarity in your relationshipHow to get more of the energy you want from yourself and your partnerHow you can tell if you’re in the dominant or submissive roleAnd more. 

    E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.
    “We tend to reject so many of the sensations of aliveness that arise because we put them in that box that we label ‘bad sensations.’ So tear the label off that box and follow the sensations that are arising now.”
    -Michele Lisenbury Christensen
    Hot Moments in This Episode:
    The three mistakes nice guys make [4:16]How your marriage is like a pair of magnets [6:00]How to speak in a penetrating way [8:29]When your partner’s standard for you is too oppressive [10:39]

    I hope that whether you are choosing to lead or to follow, you use these keys to polarity to create delicious connections and deeper love.
    If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

    • 16 min
    Defensiveness

    Defensiveness

    I want to devote a whole episode to the topic of defensiveness: how we engender it in each other, and why we get defensive ourselves. This is one of the biggest things I see stopping couples from communicating effectively, from connecting more deeply, and from experiencing more turn-on and erotic charge in their relationships. So if you've had defensiveness on either side of the conversation, this episode is for you.
    As you listen to this episode, we’ll cover:
    Reasons you get defensive- whether it’s stemming from you or from your partnerWhat to do when your partner or someone else seems defensive. What to do when you feel unfairly attacked or accusedHow to calm down when either of you has gotten defensiveAnd more. 
    E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.
    “It's a tremendous challenge and opportunity to be fresh in today's conversation, rather than to call up that whole library of painful experiences that everybody, even in a good relationship, has over years and years together, because you're both human.”
    -Michele Lisenbury Christensen

    Hot Moments in This Episode:
    Why you should celebrate when defensiveness comes up [5:37]One of the best tools for dismantling defensiveness when bringing up an issue [15:25]Signs that your partner may be becoming defensive [17:35]What happens when you “throw in the kitchen sink” [26:40]I wish for every couple listening today is to be able to talk about the most tender things, the most raw things, the deepest reactions you have to one another because those contain the gold of both your personal evolutions and the most intimate relationship that you can possibly have with each other.
    Resources mentioned in this episode:
    Arbinger Institute books
    Self-Regulation Toolkit Part I: Regulating The Freeze Response
    Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 2: Fight or Flight
    If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

    • 36 min
    Elements of Power in Relationship [Rebroadcast]

    Elements of Power in Relationship [Rebroadcast]

    This week, I'm bringing back the most popular episode of the podcast for your listening pleasure.

    The 12 Elements of Power framework is more relevant now than ever for for us as feminists who don't want to think about power in an essentialist sense, don't want to think that there are particular qualities that we don't have access to because that hasn't been our lived experience. What we know is that we have within us, for instance, both the capacity to be self-reliant, and the capacity to be connected. Those are two of the elements of power. And all of the elements come in pairs like this that we'll talk through today. 

    In this episode, we’ll talk about :
    How Driving and Receiving are two sides of the same coin… We can only do so much “making it happen” without a commensurate capacity to “let it in.”Why “masculine” traits and “feminine” traits are a fallacy, even though there’s plenty of evidence for them, and what’s more true than that kind of gender essentialismThe twelve precise capacities every human possesses and needs to master to be fully powerful in love and elsewhere in life Hot Moments in this episode:
    What “psychological patriarchy” is and how it affects us [7:19]How the 12 Elements of Power can be like bodybuilding [11:18]The element of power that looks the least like power, but may be the most powerful [15:06]Taking the elements of power into the realm of intimacy [17:15]I hope you find this episode is just what you need to hear as you navigate your relationship in these intense times. I hope you are able to remember your exquisite beauty, divinity, and intrinsic aliveness.  And I hope you let the light within you illuminate the world around you.

    • 22 min
    The Heart of Intimacy, The Root of Conflict

    The Heart of Intimacy, The Root of Conflict

    This is a different kind of episode. Often, I record podcast episodes about things that have come up with clients recently or I initiate out of conversations that I feel like we need to have in the culture that we haven't been having. Today's episode is about a topic that is blowing my mind right now, because I didn't think of it this way until I was reading this amazing book, "The Audacity to Be You" by Brad Reedy. In this episode, I want to talk about Reedy’s concept of the “three circles” because I believe that this concept is at the heart of intimacy. And it's also at the root of most conflict, especially between two people.

    As you listen to this episode, you'll discover:
    Brad Reedy’s “three circles model” and how it ties in with what I am learning about myselfHow we get walled off from one another or tangled up in each other's selves How we can use the three circles model to better know ourselves and our partnerWhere to start to create more of a sense of self and healthier intimacy with other peopleHow this can apply to many of your relationships- whether it’s your spouse, children, or friends And more. 

    E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

    “The inner work of being an adult is to find those pieces of ourselves that we've disowned, that we thought weren't lovable, that we thought that no one could both see and care about us and to bring those backup.”
    -Michele Lisenbury Christensen


    Hot Moments in This Episode:
    What it means to keep people out of your circle (6:34)The two jobs you each have in your relationship circle (8:46)What I do when my husband’s bad mood causes me anxiety (13:31)The messages we learn from childhood about our true selves (16:09)
    RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
    The Audacity to be You by Brad Reedy

    If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and  my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

    • 22 min
    Why Therapy Didn’t Get You There

    Why Therapy Didn’t Get You There

    You've tried therapy before, and it didn't get you where you wanted to go. Maybe it helped. Many people report to me that it got them on the right path, but not really to their goals. My goal is to help couples not just reduce the “itching, burning and swelling”- the immediate pains that they're facing when they come to me- but truly create a great relationship. And, truly, what many of the couples that come to me want is to go from a good really solid relationship to a great relationship, which I call Legacy Love. Today, we're going to talk about why couples counseling often doesn't get couples to that place, and how to make sure that next time you do make an investment in your relationship, it can get you where you really want to go.

    As you listen to this episode, you'll hear about:
    The point at which most couples seek counseling What I’ve learned about couples counseling from my own experiences in therapyWhat you need to be doing between your sessions is to get the results you wantThe importance of putting the conversation about the relationship in the context of trauma, power, patriarchy, and colonizationThe difference between treating the symptoms and actually building towards our visionAnd more. 

    E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

    “Our rates of normal marital mediocrity can be chalked up to not having a high enough vision and a deep enough devotion to being one another's person.”
    -Michele Lisenbury Christensen


    Hot Moments in This Episode:
    How to “shovel while the pile is small”  [3:28]The “twofer” that gets in the way of building Legacy Love in therapy [4:17]How the patriarchy affects your relationship that a therapist may miss [11:08]What I hope your next investment in your relationship looks like [18:17]
     I hope this episode gives you what you need to seek the support that will help the two of you keep going all the way to the shining, emotional and energetic aliveness that you really want in our relationship. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

    RESOURCES OR LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
    Tony Porter Man Box Ted Talk

    If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously.
    CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation

    • 20 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
20 Ratings

20 Ratings

Catalina Rex ,

Listen, share, repeat

Wish I had heard this years ago. Fantastic exploration of too little-charted terrain...

cindywhitesides ,

Brilliantly insightful

This podcast gives me new insights to chew on each week. A whole new way of thinking about sex, love, and power!

pcolagloria ,

Thought provoking without shame!

I love Michele!! For years, I’ve been following her journey and I cannot say enough good things about her and all that she has to say ... She has this amazing way of saying the tough stuff that creates amazing change without leaving a dust cloud of shame in the wake. Love her and this!! ❤️

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