SOLACE: Soul + Grief

Candee Lucas

This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José/Santa Cruz area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality.  I hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side. "I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises OR seek spiritual direction while grieving.  I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings." BACKGROUND Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint IgnatiusCentro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent RetreatCenter for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, COCalifornia State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. IgnatiusSanta Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral MinistriesCONTACT ME:  candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com with questions to be answered in future episodes.

  1. 22h ago

    Pedro Arrupe At Hiroshima: Faith That Does Justice

    Send us Fan Mail The hardest part of grief is not always what happened. Sometimes it’s what it demands from you afterward: action when you have no tools, or patience when there’s nothing you can do at all. We share a story drawn from the documented life of Jesuit priest Pedro Arrupe, told as historical fiction, set at the Jesuit novitiate outside Hiroshima on August 6, 1945. Arrupe has enough medical training to be dangerous and just enough to be useful, and after the blast he finds himself responsible for young men and for a stream of wounded people when the city can no longer send help. With no supplies and no clean answers, he learns what compassionate presence really costs and why “staying” can be the most meaningful form of care. Then the story widens to Nagasaki and the destruction of the Urakami Cathedral district, home to one of Japan’s oldest Catholic communities. Arrupe doesn’t witness it with his eyes, and that becomes the point. Hiroshima puts work into his hands. Nagasaki leaves him with only something to carry. We talk about that difference as a map for mourning, trauma, and spiritual direction: the gap between fixing and witnessing, between helping and simply holding grief without escape. If you’re searching for grief support, Jesuit spirituality, or a clearer understanding of Pedro Arrupe’s “faith that does justice,” this episode offers a steady, human place to start. Subscribe, share with someone who needs gentleness this week, and leave a review with the line that stayed with you most. CONTACT ME AT:  candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com Art, Artifacts, Fabric and Design:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas and https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/vasonaarts ELECTRONIC BOOKS:  1000 IMAGES OF JESUS  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6  Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

  2. Oct 2

    Tonglen Turns Grief Into Shared Ground

    Send us Fan Mail Grief comes with a lot of advice, and most of it has the same hidden goal: get away from the pain. Stay busy. Distract yourself. Find a lesson. But what if the more honest move is the opposite, not as a dare, but as a practice of compassion? We talk about Tonglen, a Tibetan Buddhist “sending and taking” meditation that turns our usual instincts upside down. On the in-breath, we breathe in the real texture of suffering, our own or someone else’s. On the out-breath, we breathe out relief, spaciousness, and tenderness. I walk through why this can be a powerful grief support practice, especially when you’re sitting with someone who is mourning and you don’t know what to say. Instead of fixing, we learn how to make room for grief to be exactly as large as it is, while still offering warmth. We also get specific about what Tonglen is not. It’s not a technique for the rawest hours of acute trauma, and it’s not martyrdom or emotional self-sacrifice. The out-breath matters, and depletion is a signal to rest, not proof you’re doing it right. If you’re navigating overwhelming bereavement, I also share why pairing spiritual care and meditation with trauma-informed therapy or grief counseling can be the most supportive path. Subscribe, share this with someone who shows up for others, and leave a review if it helps. What’s one thing you wish people would stop saying to grieving people? Art, Artifacts, Fabric and Design:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas and https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/vasonaarts ELECTRONIC BOOKS:  1000 IMAGES OF JESUS  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6  Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

  3. Sep 25

    Agape For The Hard Times

    Send us Fan Mail Some rooms don’t reward you for showing up. The person you’re there to support might be frightened, angry, sarcastic, or completely shut down and if your ability to care depends on being liked, you won’t last long. Today we are naming the kind of love that can actually hold up under end-of-life care, hospice chaplaincy, and bereavement support: agape. Agape is love that doesn’t hinge on affection, attraction, familiarity, or shared theology. It’s a decision, repeated moment to moment, to extend care simply because someone exists and is suffering. That shift matters for compassion fatigue and burnout prevention because it keeps us from unconsciously rationing our presence, giving our best only to the “easy” patients or the most agreeable grieving families. We also talk about why agape frees us from measuring support by whether it “worked” whether the person felt better, thanked us, or received our words the way we hoped. There’s a harder, honest layer too: agape isn’t something a finite person can manufacture forever from willpower alone. Sustainable spiritual care requires replenishment through supervision, community, prayer or spiritual practice, and rest that isn’t optional. And for survivors, agape means we can receive the full truth of grief guilt, rage, unfinished business, even relief without flinching, correcting, or pulling away. If you’re walking with loss, supporting a dying loved one, or serving others as a caregiver, listen, share with someone who needs steadiness, and subscribe, rate, and leave a review so more people can find Solace. Art, Artifacts, Fabric and Design:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas and https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/vasonaarts ELECTRONIC BOOKS:  1000 IMAGES OF JESUS  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6  Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

  4. Sep 18

    Faith Is Fidelity Without Proof

    Send us Fan Mail “Good faith” sounds like a legal phrase, but what happens when you treat it as a spiritual practice instead, especially in grief? Slow the phrase down until it shows its older meaning: *bona fides*, a kind of fidelity kept without proof. When life hurts, when doubt gets sharp, when the future won’t cooperate, good faith becomes less about winning an argument and more about how we stay authentic, honest and present with each other. Explore what good faith asks of the person doing the accompanying, whether you’re a spiritual director, chaplain, pastor, or the friend someone trusts at 2 a.m. It means admitting you don’t already know where their story is going. Pattern recognition can be useful, but when we rush to the “helpful part,” we can quietly shift from accompaniment to management. Be uncomfortable with the clarity good faith requires: naming your limits, your differences, and your real vantage point so support doesn’t slip into persuasion with a hidden destination. Good faith is asked of the seeker too. Are you bringing the real question or a safer version that feels more acceptable? Can you stay in the room when the guidance isn’t what you hoped to hear long enough to tell the difference between thoughtful disagreement and reflex? Underneath it all is a “third partner” that shares the search for what is true, even when proof is missing. If this resonates, subscribe for new Friday episodes, share Solace:  Soul + Grief with someone who needs a gentler kind of support, and leave a review so more grieving hearts can find us. Art, Artifacts, Fabric and Design:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas and https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/vasonaarts ELECTRONIC BOOKS:  1000 IMAGES OF JESUS  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6 Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

  5. Sep 11

    Eulogy for Mom

    Send us Fan Mail A funeral recording fails, years pass, and a question refuses to let go: what did I say, and what do I wish I had said?  I’m offering a do-over eulogy for my mom, Joanne Frances Kimmel Lucas, who died from cancer. If you’ve ever wanted a second chance with your words, this story meets you right where you are.  Grief doesn’t stay polite.  We sit with Yeats’ line, “All changed, changed utterly. A terrible beauty is born,” and unpack why “terrible” belongs in our vocabulary of bereavement and coping with loss. The ache of parent loss is real, unapologetic, and allowed to sound that way. And still, beauty can exist alongside it, not as a lesson or a fix, but as love that refuses to disappear.  What changes when a parent dies, especially the loss of the lifelong witness who carried your earliest chapters, and what does it mean to carry legacy forward in small, human ways? If you’re looking for grief support, spiritual care, and honest language for mourning, press play. Subscribe, share with someone who needs gentleness today, and leave a review so this space of healing can reach more people. Art, Artifacts, Fabric and Design:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas and https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/vasonaarts ELECTRONIC BOOKS:  1000 IMAGES OF JESUS  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6 ('Old Rugged Cross' was her favorite hymn and she sang it in the car often) Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

  6. Sep 4

    He Left His Sandals at the Door

    Send us Fan Mail Grief can make your life feel like a place you don’t recognize. The sky looks different, familiar rooms tilt, and the road under your feet seems to belong to someone else.  Walk down the Emmaus Road, where two grieving disciples leave Jerusalem after everything they hoped for collapses. A stranger joins them, listens before speaking, and stays with them mile after mile until a simple breaking of bread opens their eyes. Then comes the sting and the mystery: at the exact moment of recognition, Jesus disappears. We talk about why that pairing mirrors bereavement, and how presence can be real even when you can’t feel it yet. A surprising image carries the heart of the message: Jesus leaves his sandals at the threshold. Not instructions. Not a neat explanation. Just something worn by real distance and real sorrow, still warm, already broken in. We explore what those sandals mean for Christian grief, spiritual care, and practical grief support: you are not walking barefoot, and you are not the first to cross this terrain. If you’re grieving, let this be a companion for a few minutes of your day. Subscribe for more, share this with someone who’s hurting, and leave a review so others can find the show. What part of the road are you walking right now? Art, Artifacts, Fabric and Design:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas and https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/vasonaarts ELECTRONIC BOOKS:  1000 IMAGES OF JESUS  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6 Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

  7. Aug 28

    Your Broken Place Is Sacred

    Send us Fan Mail (This one is best heard alone in private and not while driving.) Some losses don’t just hurt, they shock the whole body. If you’re carrying a death that came too suddenly, too violently, or too unfairly, you may know that lonely feeling of waking up at 3 a.m. with grief in your throat and no words that fix it. We’re not going to make it easy. We’re going to make it honest and we’re going to stay with you. We begin with an anchor from Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” We sit with what that does and does not promise. Then we turn to the shortest, sharpest grief line in the Gospels: “Jesus wept.” Even knowing how the story ends, Jesus chooses presence over bypassing. If your faith feels strong, worn thin, or somewhere in between, you’re welcome here exactly as you are. From there, we share practical support from an emergency response toolkit for trauma and traumatic grief developed by Patricia Mathes Cane, PhD. (Dr. Cane's website is: www.capacitar.org) If this brought you even a small sense of steadiness, subscribe so you don’t miss new Friday releases, share it with someone who’s grieving, and leave a review so more people can find a place to breathe. Art, Artifacts, Fabric and Design:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas and https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/vasonaarts ELECTRONIC BOOKS:  1000 IMAGES OF JESUS  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6 Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

  8. Aug 21

    A Better Map For Grief

    Send us Fan Mail Grief doesn’t follow a clean five-step route, and a lot of people feel worse because they think it should. We start from a different place: Psalm 23 and the honest promise of walking through the valley, not around it. Here is something practical and gentle map that doesn’t pretend the terrain is easy, but helps you find your footing when life after loss feels unreal. We talk about where the “five stages of grief” story came from, why it was never designed to describe the grieving, and why real mourning can look like accepting the loss at 9 AM and raging against it by noon. Instead of treating grief as a linear checklist that ends in closure, we reframe the grieving process as a landscape: quiet stretches, sudden cliffs, anniversaries, triggers, and blank spaces no one else can chart for you. If you’ve been searching for grief support that doesn’t shame you for cycling emotions, this perspective can be a relief. Here are three landmarks you can return to. First, the weather changes even when the land stays, so a stormy day doesn’t mean you’re going backward. Second, Lois Tonkin’s model shows how grief may not shrink, while your life expands around it through new routines, relationships, and capacity. Third, modern grief research on continuing bonds gives you permission to keep a healthy connection to what you lost, through ritual, memory, and the voice you still carry. If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with someone who’s grieving, and leave a review so more people can find this kind of steady companionship. Art, Artifacts, Fabric and Design:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas and https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/vasonaarts ELECTRONIC BOOKS:  1000 IMAGES OF JESUS  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6 Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José/Santa Cruz area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality.  I hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side. "I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises OR seek spiritual direction while grieving.  I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings." BACKGROUND Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint IgnatiusCentro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent RetreatCenter for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, COCalifornia State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. IgnatiusSanta Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral MinistriesCONTACT ME:  candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com with questions to be answered in future episodes.

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