269 episodes

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.

Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast John Brandon, Jim Banks, Matthew Van Zandt, Vanessa

    • Video Games
    • 4.7 • 269 Ratings

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.

    Fable II Part 3 - A Dog Named Jupus (Or Poshul)

    Fable II Part 3 - A Dog Named Jupus (Or Poshul)

    When Johnny's away, the podcast does talk about politics! On this week's episode Matthew, Jim and Vanessa tackle Libeartarianism, Jim googles stuff, and Vanessa decides to unwisely crush on Reaver! Also: the interesting choices of the Spire, the gentrification of Westcliff, and so much more!

    This Week: We reach the assault on Bloodstone!
    Next Week: We finish the game!

    • 1 hr 22 min
    Fable II - The Crooshible

    Fable II - The Crooshible

    Okay, I'm just going to say it: this week we mercilessly bully Matthew. It's true. Jim, Vanessa and Johnny focus on Matthew's pronunciation instead of on Lionhead Studio's classic action RPG Fable II. Also he isn't riding the wave of next-gen consoles. Otherwise, we help or hinder farmers, get married, get "divorced", and settle into the fleshy meat of this enjoyable game.

    This Week: We reach The Spire!
    Next Week: We reach the assault on Bloodstone!

    • 1 hr 33 min
    Fable II - Dog Box, You'll Call It

    Fable II - Dog Box, You'll Call It

    By harnessing the power of the Xbox 360, we move into Lionhead Studios' wacky, Discworld-esque Fable II. Topics touched on today: Blast Corps memories, travelling back to the Willenium, more Molyneux talk, the fine details of fridging, Fable 1 Nermal Edition, and Vanessa gambles on changing the podcast to cover FPSes. Will Sierra Roots ever return? FIND OUT!

    This Week: We start The Ritual quest, your first Hero mission in Fable II.
    Next Week: We reach The Spire!

    • 2 hr 10 min
    Chrono Cross - owo, wouwdst thou wike the taste of buttow?

    Chrono Cross - owo, wouwdst thou wike the taste of buttow?

    Oh boy. We finished Squaresoft's 2000 epic, Chrono Cross. And it didn't quite go the way we imagined. There's a lot to cover on this episode, including the WAT, PolisPolice, Clive, Jill and Joshua of Valisthea, Johnny's daydream, Jim trying to explain the plot in one breath and...daughter clones?!

    This Week: We finish the game!
    Next Week: We start The Ritual quest, your first Hero mission in Fable II.

    • 2 hr 1 min
    Chrono Cross - The Full Buns

    Chrono Cross - The Full Buns

    In this dragon-fighting episode of Square Roots, we finish Disc 1 of Squaresoft's Chrono Cross. Also: Jim describes a movie that cannot possibly exist, we try to guess who is in a werewolf movie, we see a dripping wet Time Twink, and Vanessa reminds you not to put too many worms before your cart, because they'll get squished.

    This Week: We finish Disc 1!
    Next Week: We finish the game!

    • 1 hr 28 min
    Chrono Cross - Time Echoes Are NOT Ghosts

    Chrono Cross - Time Echoes Are NOT Ghosts

    On this reality-warping episode of Square Roots, things get... complicated in Square's Chrono Cross. First of all: we're deep in Disc 3 crazy and it's just disc 1. Also: cookin' up enemies, how this game is just like Sleepaway Camp, and trying to determine what the Chrono Trigger of Chrono Trigger is.
    This Week: We reach the second dragon!
    Next Week: We finished Disc 1!

    • 1 hr 56 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
269 Ratings

269 Ratings

GrandMoffWow ,

Definitely subscribing

Just listened to the first episode but as soon as they slammed Last of Us I hit subscribe!

Elly☀️Wolfgirl🥑 ,

😮😶🙄😵

I knew it!
I really love Mario and Luigi RPG Art and Funny moments!

AndrewAdamides ,

I’m roundly for this podcast.

Without Square Roots I don’t know how I would have made it through quarantine. I started listening in March and since then, have worked my way through most of their back catalogue, and played a handful of games along with them. Thanks to the Squooters I played FF10, 10-2, Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana and more for the first time. They have reignited my love for video games, classic RPGs and for podcasts. If I had to pick my best end-game party I know that Jim, John, Matt and Vanessa would be my first choice.

P.S. The Patreon is the first real boss of the game and the Facebook Group is a little baby fresh eyes.

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