taking B-F-A The "So Now What?" Podcast

Thanks for joining us back at the So Now What Podcast. And this brings me to the culmination of what I would call a mini lesson. If you're part of my membership, or a client of mine, you know that I like to segment my content and teach it to you in a lesson form so that each week you can build on something and implement it in your life. So this is the combination of some pretty important foundational things that we learn in my life coaching practice is really the basis of how you're going to make the changes in your life in order to move from feeling a lot of self doubt, a lot of sorrow and sadness around not being able to have a child and taking the life that you've been given and deciding to transform it and become the next best version of yourself as a woman without children. This week, we're going to talk about the Believe, Feel, Act cycle, the BFA cycle, which sounds kind of similar to a “BFN”, for those of us that have been through IVF cycles and transfers, many of us have gotten used to the BFN. But this is the BFA, we're taking big freakin action in our Believe, Feel, Act cycles. This cycle that I'm going to teach you about will help you to understand your current beliefs, and then give you the power to create new beliefs.
 
What you let yourself believe about your infertility in your childlessness is really what's going to create your future. And the Believe, Feel, Act cycle is how your brain processes anything that you encounter in the world. So as a review of our last couple episodes, which if this is your first episode you're catching, I would advise you to go back starting with episode 20, 21 & 22. And just kind of listen in on those and build every week on what the content is that we're covering off on. And then this will be kind of like that cherry on top. As we've gone through before and discussed. Everything that goes on outside of us, is the collection of facts and circumstances. And it's all super boring until our brain creates a belief about what's going on. So some of those boring facts in the world are your age, the number of IVF cycles, you've been through things people say or don't say to you how much money you make, all of these things have absolutely zero meaning to you until you have a belief about them. And as we talked about in Episode 21, your brain is designed to judge and come up with the negative first because it is a defense mechanism that we have compiled throughout the 1000s of years ago, when we used to have to protect ourselves and we were living in this much different environment than we live in today. So if you went through 7 years of fertility treatments and didn't have a child, you might be believing something like, “My future is gonna suck”, or you could believe, “My future is going to look a lot different than I thought, but I'm committed to creating a future I love”. The brain just goes along all day, having and creating beliefs for everything that it sees and experiences in the world. So it's actually quite simple. You have a belief about something that you experience in the world. And that belief creates a feeling inside of you like confused, disappointed or possibly excited. And based on how you feel you decide what action you will or won't take each day as a result of what you are believing and feeling. And that's basically the “Believe-Feel-Act” cycle. So how do you implement this into your life each day? The most important thing to do is your paper thinking because when you paper think you're going to give yourself pages of beliefs, pages of feelings, and actions that You did or didn't take. What you likely won't have, however, is very many facts. Because frankly, most of our lives are pretty boring. People say words, women are infertile babies are born, you weigh a certain amount. And our facts have no feelings. And they don't mean much unless you add in opinions, assessments of good and bad, and adjectives. I suggested in a previous episode that when yo