Talking to Strangers (About Music‪)‬ Steph Saull Thompson

When confusion reigns, where do you turn? We are strangers to ourselves in these moments, unfocused and unclear. I often turn to the piano, or other musical instruments to get at and get out what's going on inside. More even than writing, composing music allows thoughts and feelings to flow through me unencumbered (or, at least, less encumbered than the more rational reasoned way I sometimes feel I have to write, or talk.)

In this episode, I play some piano and talk through some ideas about how we go about expressing ourselves and getting at the confusing often chaotic feelings going on inside us, often as a result of the chaotic confusion in the world outside:) 

We are not in control, not of the decisions of the government, how the mountains shift and change, how other people act or even of our own hearts. That realization and understanding can be both dismaying and, for me, strangely empowering.  I can't control, I just have to soften and become more pliant in the way I move through decisions and actions. I have to be adaptable, and compassionate to myself and others. It is easy to say but hard to do that in relationships of all kinds, with ourselves, with each other, with the world, we have to sometimes live with the idea that we will not figure the perfect way. We will fly haphazardly around and about sometimes, like a crazy dragonfly, and then we will suddenly latch on to something as if we knew what we wanted all along. We will, eventually, come through it all to a landing place. 

As we head into the Cancer New Moon tonight at 8:00, Zen teacher Ji Hyang suggests adopting a "spirit of empowered authenticity." How do we identify and release primal feelings and nurture ourselves to get past what she calls "socially constructed suffering"? 

I choose often to play piano or other music, what about you? Find me at stephsthompson@gmail.com, or subscribe to SacredBloomTribe.com to experience a sound bath or join me in a drum circle, a great release!!!

XX
Steph

What makes us love a musician? The connection with a performer and their music is not unlike other loves probably, a slightly inexplicable alchemy that hits us hard, right off the bat.

Seeing a long line of people waiting mid-morning for the best seats for the Phoebe Bridgers benefit concert in Prospect Park last week, I was curious: why do these folks love her so much they’d wait all day in the hot sun to get as close as possible?

So I asked. I’d never even heard of the 27-year-old  indie phenom til the night before, when my husband couldn’t find parking because of her first night’s show in the park two blocks from our apartment. But these young women—(left to right Annecy, Gaby and Tatiana)—were the first three in line, and they very articulately expressed what drew them to the artist. It was heartfelt, and touching.

Ms. Bridgers’ music allowed them to safely feel their own feelings, to feel that someone could relate to their own experience, they said. ‘Sadness’ was mentioned by all. That she somehow helped them feel into that and come out of it, or at least feel less alone in it. 

“It’s like a collective catharsis,” Tatiana said, and I cheered, inwardly and outwardly. Yes! What a beautiful thing. I love talking to strangers about this amazing powerful phenomenon! Thank you Phoebe Bridgers for your incredible support of these young people, offering them a way to feel less alone in their lives.

My interaction with the young band Moxie is a direct result of saying 'yes.'

"Can a band stay with us a couple of nights?" my son Eli asked a couple weeks back and--based on my love of strangers, especially meeting them in my house--I didn't skip a beat. "Yes," I said.

And so it was that I found myself in my kitchen with four of the most lovely dynamic clear-headed young people ever, the Brattleboro, VT-based members of the fast-rising Moxie the Band, in the early days of their Summer 2022 East Coast tour.

My sons had met Rei Kimura, the band's lead vocalist, during a visit to Vermont with mutual friends, and though I'd heard about her, I had no idea of her incredibly engaging smile, her super positive energy and-I dare say-her 'moxie.' With her came likewise engaging bandmates and friends since elementary school, Leander Holzapfel (lead guitarist), Daniel Snyder (drums) and David "Inky" Cohen (bass).

As they emerged in the kitchen, they grabbed apple cider donuts and sat down with me one by one for a tarot reading. It came to me to pull out the Oracle Deck maybe from a place of understanding about the hugely exciting and slightly unnerving position they're in as their stars rise in the world at such tender ages of 18 and 19. What will the future bring? Rei's spread put Fulfillment of Wishes in the past position, the Third Eye Chakra in present, and Destiny card in the future, all auspicious picks and good food for thought for someone at a point of emerging popularity and leadership in the world. https://www.moxie-band.com. The role of a singer/songwriter is a powerful one, and it seems she is ready. Daniel noted that all three of the cards he chose featured rainbows...Dreams, once on the horizon, came into clear view for all of them in the present and future.

We recorded this podcast so that I could learn from the members of Moxie how it is that the band came into being, how they became such accomplished collaborative musicians at such a young age. Getting along so well, dealing with rising fame, and traveling for weeks on end in a dusty Subaru is not easy at any age!

Their stories of how and when they took up their instruments of choice (spoiler alert, INCREDIBLY YOUNG!) are awesome and hilarious. I was sad as they spoke that I'd missed their show at the Mercury Lounge in Manhattan, but was luckily in upstate New York when they played last night in Woodstock, NY, at Colony. It was there that I first saw these beautiful souls showcase what 'moxy' really means: they are indeed a force of character, determination and nerve.

As Rei's smile and smoothly swaying hips brought everyone deeper in to the band's luring rhythms, the crowd came to its feet and joined in wholeheartedly, moving and clapping and singing along. I felt grateful and hopeful for the next generation, including my own children dancing beside me. If there are such leaders as these musicians, creating and sharing such collective joy, they are in great shape. 

When I sat down to write about Dani Markham, the first thing I did was look up "cool." Even though it was the first word that came to mind when I thought to describe her, I guess I don't really know why, or what 'cool' really means...

Obviously, like all words, 'cool' is subjective. But what came up from psychologists who study perceptions of human behavior were qualities like 'attitude and behavior seen as uniquely their own" and "accepting who you are, showing up authentically, being kind to everyone." 

Cool, it seems, means becoming the person you genuinely feel you are internally and wish to be. And then being able to be kind to others because YOU are doing what you want, and don’t have to be jealous or mean. Huh. Inspiring thought!!

And this young woman, a renowned percussionist, a world traveler, with her big smile and even bigger heart, obviously has figured out who she wants to be, and has gone for it, with great results so…she could be a super sweetie, a stranger I immediately felt the need to hang onto!

We sat down to discuss how it had come to pass that Dani had ended up on stages of major arenas with Childish Gambino and plenty of other bands…Listen in to hear how exactly Dani Markham got so cool. There are lessons here, lots of them, on how to get what you want. (Spoiler alert: believe you can, and find others who believe you can too!)

For this episode, I sat down naked at the piano. Sometimes, it is only through music and rhythm that I am able to get at what I'm REALLY thinking and feeling, what I want to express. Sometimes, often, words don't work. 

I so like to express my naked thoughts and ideas. And I like to hear other people's. People often can see that in my eyes, in my body language. They tell me things, sometimes things they haven't told anybody else. I often wonder what that is, why people feel they can say things to me that they haven't felt comfortable sharing before, with  others. 

The reality is that I understand why people often don't share, why I don't (when I don't.) Because truly attempting to connect leaves you fully naked and vulnerable. And, mostly, we have been burned so much in the past that we might not trust, we might not let our guard down, we might stay clothed and covered and behind layer after layer of impenetrable walls. 

I discovered that rhythm can allow us to tear down those walls. In even a minute of playing percussion, people can forget to pretend, they can forget to dodge and dart and hide. They can be present, in the moment, with themselves first and foremost. And they can, often, be present with others. They can tune in, get in tune, find their rhythm, join in, create harmony. 

In this podcast, I play piano -- naked and nakedly -- to try to unearth the real thoughts in my head, then I explore some ideas about my very naked approach to connecting, through vibration and percussion, through rhythm. 

I want this space to explore more the world of connection through music, how in fact "Talking to Strangers" might best be done wordlessly, gathered in a circle with other humans. 

It is through rhythm that us humans might be able to shed some of those labels and monikers that divide us, might be able to truly see our ability to connect, joyfully and nakedly, with ease.

Music is a gift. It offers transcendence for all souls if we let it, if even for just a moment...

Trust is an interesting thing. To talk to someone, to engage with them, is to offer them a sort of trust. When I first talked to Jason Naradzay a few years back, it was to interview him for a piece I was writing in support of Musicambia, a nonprofit music education organization he had been involved with during his time served at Sing Sing Correctional Facility. He was out of Sing Sing and applying the therapeutic skills he'd learned inside the prison to help those still there. He knew firsthand the crucial importance of music and self expression to create the much-needed connections incarcerated people--really all people--need to survive. 

We hit it off right away. His philosophies and mine dove-tailed exactly. He told me about going fishing, and I expressed my desire to do that someday, and he right away put a date on the calendar. 

It is sometimes hard to talk to strangers, let alone make plans to go on their boat. But Jason struck me deeply as a kind soul, someone who cared immensely about people, a generous person. And so, I trusted. During a global pandemic, Jason and another Musicambia alumni, Dexter Nurse, visited me and my family in upstate New York, and my husband and I took turns going out fishing with them. During my time--some of my most joyous hours ever--Jason and I hatched some plans to do a retreat for some of the alumni of Musicambia's program, men who'd performed together in Carnegie Hall's Musical Connections program inside Sing Sing.

On June 25th, we are co-hosting a benefit to raise money for that retreat, and for Jason's work inside Sing Sing and potentially other prisons for the seriously mentally ill and violent individuals. But that event is also to build trust between disparate people, to allow for us to listen and play music together, to "break bread," as Jason would say, to bond. 

In this conversation, Jason and I talk about the Jeptha Group, the organization he started to do workshops in prisons and that he now wants to expand to help connect the guys who bonded over music in prison and are now out in the world, in desperate need of such connection and bonding. 

We talk about what to call people who've been incarcerated. Spoiler alert: "How about 'humans?'

Join us humans on June 25th at El Barrio's ArtSpace, 215 E. 99th St., NYC. In collaboration with Jazz Habitat and sponsored by Iwona Szatkowska for her 60th birthday, the evening will feature food and drink, a solo by Musicambia/Musical Connections alumni Kenyatta Emmanuel and music sets by the Joe Stone Band and DJ Funky Punky. Donations of $25 or more by Venmo @Stephanie-Thompson-229 or at the door.