185 episodes

Learning how to do gentle towards yourself can be, for you, the key to loving living life. At least, that's what doing gentle did to me, Helena Roth, once I understood that it was actually an option.

Imagine having turned 30+ before ever realizing it's possible to be gentle with myself. From that moment in time, I've re-learned how to be in the world - both inside and outside of myself. Here I will be sharing the tools and tricks I've picked up along the way, hoping it will help you transform from a victim of the epidemic of harshness into a proud practitioner of doing gentle.

Tankespjärn with Helena Roth Helena Roth

    • Education
    • 5.0 • 3 Ratings

Learning how to do gentle towards yourself can be, for you, the key to loving living life. At least, that's what doing gentle did to me, Helena Roth, once I understood that it was actually an option.

Imagine having turned 30+ before ever realizing it's possible to be gentle with myself. From that moment in time, I've re-learned how to be in the world - both inside and outside of myself. Here I will be sharing the tools and tricks I've picked up along the way, hoping it will help you transform from a victim of the epidemic of harshness into a proud practitioner of doing gentle.

    07. Judgment vs Discernment

    07. Judgment vs Discernment

    First published on my blog on May 7, 2018. Read the post here →

    With curiosity and a wish for more, Tess picked up on the distinction between judgment and discernment in the post on Intuitive living, and I can only agree: it is a distinction which piqued my curiosity as well.

    “You may have noticed that we have never discussed forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a concept of the All. Forgiveness implies judgment. Forgiveness implies right and wrong. Your Western culture and religions have created the concepts of sin and forgiveness as a way of controlling people’s minds. Judgment was created in this way. (You must understand judgment as being different from discernment. Discernment is an important skill to develop.) There is no place for judgment. The concepts of sin and forgiveness and redemption are not concepts borne out of Love. Love is within each one of you, bestowing mercy upon you in each moment of your existence.” [As voiced by Spirit.]



    Full blog post on link above. 

    • 7 min
    06. Open.

    06. Open.

    First published on my blog on May 24, 2020. Read the post here →



    Open.
    To receive. To give.
    Both actions require openness.
    Otherwise nothing can come in; nothing can get out.

    If I am not open to receiving, I am not open to giving either.

    Being open is my default-state. And yet… I am not always open.
    Sometimes I shut down, close up, not having enough energy to give, nor receive.
    Both actions require energy.

    It takes discernment and self-knowledge to know,
    when it is time to shut the aperture, restricting intake as well as output.

    • 2 min
    05. Procrastination

    05. Procrastination

    First published on my blog on September 14, 2020. Read the post here: https://tankespjarn.com/procrastination/

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tankespjarn/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERO_Respondi

    Website: https://tankespjarn.com/

    • 6 min
    04. Present to what?

    04. Present to what?

    First published on my blog on January 25, 2021. Read the post here → 

    The bottom line: I get to experience that which I am present to, and not experience that which I am not present to, as I cannot be present to everything all at once.

    I’m sitting in bed. It’s 8:24 am and I’ve just completed my regular Wim Hof breathing practice. Before that, I did a seven-minute pelvic exercise in my morning gown, standing in the kitchen awaiting the kettle coming to a boil. Just drank the by-now lukewarm cup of water, grabbing my iPad to do a bit of morning writing before getting up, for real.

    Open PAGES, look at the screen.
    Blank.

    Raising my head, I look out the two windows facing me as I sit, propped up by pillows in my bed, and it’s snowing. Big flakes.

    Surprised, I immediately put fingers to keyboard and start to write, only to look up again three minutes later… no snow.Snow flakes have given way to raindrops. Huh
    Go figure.

    In an instant.
    There.
    And then, not there.

    If I hadn’t looked up.
    I would have missed them, the snow flakes.
    Makes me wonder.
    How much do I miss?
    And… kind of like the question if a tree that falls all by its own out in the forest actually makes a noise even with no one around to hear, I wonder if it actually matters? Do I miss out on things, if I do not know they exist? If I had missed out on seeing these snow flakes, not knowing that there was a brief interlude of heavy snowfall, just for a minute or two… would I really have missed out?

    Doesn’t the missing-out-aspect require me to know what was, and know that I did not get to experience it?
    Is knowledge a prerequisite to missing out on something or other?

    Hah!
    It’s now 8:33 and as I raise my head (this is what I do when I look for inspiration, my head and eyes tend to veer towards upper left), guess what?

    Yeah.
    Snowing.
    Again.

    I cannot be present to everything all at once.
    I cannot be present to everything, period.

    And what I am not present to I cannot experience.
    What I am present to, I experience. And the better I get at being present, the deeper those experiences impact me. It’s as if I am thrown a piece of string, with each experience, a piece of string that I can then follow, outwards, beyond. To more experiences, to a wider perspective.

    Snow. Rain. Snow.
    Must be around freezing for that to happen, or perhaps a few degrees above. But not more. And definitely not less.
    Will it cause slippery streets and pavements? Will people hurt themselves on account of this?
    Might it snow enough for kids to be able to start a snow ball fight, make a snowman or even go sledding?
    Will I have to shovel snow when I leave the house later today, for a walk?
    Might it turn colder, affecting the five pieces of maple logs D brought this weekend, logs we intend to inoculate with mushroom mycelium? Is winter finally coming? What will we do with the logs then, how to keep them from freezing?

    8:44.
    Again. No snow flakes falling.
    Part of a dance that might well continue if it wasn’t for the fact that I have a Zoom-meeting starting in fifteen minutes. I tear myself away from my musings, as I realize it’s high time to get out of bed to get ready.

    What might I miss out on as a result?
    And what might I experience?
    To what am I present?

    • 5 min
    03. I'm not enough

    03. I'm not enough

    First published on my blog on January 10, 2017. Read the post here →

    The feeling that I’m not enough. That no matter how hard I try, how hard I work, I will never be able to do enough, never able to do all that which I feel I should be doing. The frustration of not being able to make a difference, the difference I should make.

    It’s not a feeling that I experience often anymore.
    I used to. A lot. I had so many thoughts about what I should be doing, how I should be doing it, how fast it should be done and so on, infinitely. Know that feeling? Are you there? Or have been there?

    I think a lot of us know that feeling. That’s what I perceive at least, looking at the world around me. Listening to friends and family, seeing their struggles with not being enough, never being enough. And I have to say… it really makes me question the way we’ve shaped society. Because I have a hard time to see how this serves anyone, let alone all of us collectively. I mean, you can argue that it makes people put their best effort to whatever it is they are involved in. But I honestly think it costs more than we get. The energy drained is more than what’s generated from those efforts, performed under stress, duress, unhappiness.

    I, for one, know that when I stopped engaging so much with that type of thought/feeling, all of a sudden, I had so much more energy! The energy I used in beating myself up for not being enough, all of a sudden could be utilized for much more contructive things. I had energy to spare, to engage myself, to activate myself, to take better care of myself, to interact with the world around me in the way I want to show up in the world.

    I am not enough.
    It’s a thought. And perhaps, at times, it’s fact. That’s true. But I do believe, more often it’s an opinion. And as such, it’s worthwhile asking yourself How does this serve me? Asking that question might help you see the opinion for what it is, and realize that you have a choice in whether or not to engage in it, or not. Where’s your energy best spent, I ask? Beating yourself up for not being enough, or for more constructive things?

    • 4 min
    02. Slowing down to the speed of life

    02. Slowing down to the speed of life

    First published on my blog on August 19, 2020. Read the post here →

    I turn off Spotify.
    The pipes leading to the heaters gargle a bit, and a car drives by on the residential road outside. And there’s another one, farther away, on one of the larger streets a block or two away. My 16-year old son Benjamin semi-shouts Hey, hey upstairs, ensconced in his room, involved in a Valorant online-tournament with some friends, online-friends.
    Car.
    Another car.
    And this ringing noise, slightly whining… is it but a figment of my imagination? Or perhaps, the residue of noise from just before, ruffling the sensory hairs in my ear canals, generating a high-pitched, yet more grass-rustling-in-the-wind-like noise.
    I hear myself, breathing out. Breathing out again, and then, there, an even softer exhalation.
    Benjamin scrapes his chair against the floor, which just so happens to be my ceiling, as he’s upstairs, and I am downstairs.
    He laughs and yammers away, as I raise my head, looking out the window right in front of me, a head-movement accompanied by a crack in my neck, oops, another car on the street just outside the other window, the one to my right.
    I’m sitting at the dining room table, the only table around, the kitchen too small for a kitchen table.
    Look up again, another crack, but softer, more of a crick.
    I inhale long, and deep, exhaling even longer.

    In October of 2015, I went for a walk in the recreational park just across the street. It was a walk that etched itself deeply into my memories, as, for the first time, I s a w. I was more fully present to the beauty surrounding us, surrounding me, than I’d ever been before.

    I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the beauty of fall as I am this year. And I don’t think fall has gotten more beautiful – I think the change is in me. I’ve never been so aware, never taken the time, to look, to see the colors, the contrast, the smell, the vibrancy. The energy!

    Looking up once more, and yes, you know it, another crack.

    It’s like an undulating wave, this paying attention and noticing. Now and again, I am at the peak of the undulation, totally present, attentive, noticing. Now and again, I am at the very bottom, lost to the world, nowhere close to the here and now. Most of the time, in movement along those undulations, headed towards attentiveness, or towards not-presenceness (a habit of mine. I make up words. Sometimes really good ones. Not sure this one qualifies though).

    I started to slow down to the speed of life in 2013, perhaps even more so in 2014, and have kept on with that practice ever since. And I see now, as I sit here, that ringing tone still present within me, starting to believe it’s not within me after all, but something you might also hear, if you were here, sitting opposite me at the table, that me slowing down, simultaneously made me level up in the art of noticing and paying attention. Within, as well as without.

    And I love it.
    But, without a doubt, there’s a lot more attention- and noticing-powers within me, so I am upping the ante, willing myself to play around with this for the next few days (and… hopefully, forever and ever!).

    • 6 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
3 Ratings

3 Ratings

HowardH ,

Helena has done a great job

Many people are extremely hard on themselves. This podcast is about being gentle. The numbered podcast episodes give you something to think about, and the following episode covers an application of the concept. Very actionable and very helpful. To get the most out of it, be sure to listen to them in sequential order from oldest to newest.

Top Podcasts In Education

Mel Robbins
Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
The Atlantic
Jordan Harbinger
Duolingo
Iyanna Jones and Kayla Scott