In the red corner Jon, a socialist. In the other his old comrade Adam, a new Labourite who is now back in the big tent. They attempt to talk about Labour and politics nicely together. The nicely bit is hard.
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A long awaited return, as the Labour leadership have now finally said something we can talk about. Although they're very keen we don't talk about that.
We do talk about us not being able to talk, and also:
Whether Sir Keith's response to the Tory handling of Covid is the right way.
Why Jon shouldn't leave the party
Becoming a branch delegate as a tiny way to influence things.
Stay alert, Constructive opposition, Save Lives
We rock down to forensic PMQs, where Keir Starmer got a letter from the government the other day, opened it and read it… is he a sucker? Adam thinks Sir Haircut’s playing a long game, can Jon agree constructively where he’s right and challenge where there are gaps.
Is the NHS the wedge issue for Labour that we always seem to think it is. Is it too big to be conceived to be in danger?
As we pass the date of the 2020 election that should have been - will Johnson or Starmer make it to 2024?
And some navel gazing: a month since the Labour report - have we any confidence that the truth will be allowed out?
Re-Arranging the Shadow Furniture
Recorded as part of a mega-session a few days ago, while the Prime Minister's health was still deterioating rather than merely his personality and competence (so we couldn't be as rude about him as he likely deserves), we instead kept on topic (Labour) and tackled the meaning of the new Shadow Cabinet.
Interestingly, after "Who are the members of the Shadow Cabinent," Google's next assumed question is "What is the point of the shadow cabinet?"
Well, for us (and especially Jon) it gives us a chance to determine the future policy direction of the Labour Party. The choices made by Kier (were they his choices?) are revealing (or are they?). Listen and you will know.
From that, in just a few minutes of chat, we determine when, exactly, the planet will end. Give or take. And, of course, whether there is train-travelling future for Dianne Abbot or Richard Burgon.
The Shadow Cabinet: See their faces on the Labour site
See why Adam took so long to edit this: @Covid Street Photography Project
Since we recorded...
It seems Ed Miliband is still podcasting, for now (discussed in the episode).
The part-time prime minister has been in ICU and is now out using convalescense as an excuse. No one has explained his lack of attention to detail before that date.
An RAF plane going to Turkey (or not) has taken up a lot of media coverage.
Left v. right on the Corbyn legacy
Locked down, no-one can leave. Oh, how we wish that was the membership of the Labour party as the inevitable post-leadership election exodus takes place. Or does it?
Jon is placing the leadership election as an event worse than coronavirus, but not as bad as 12 December 2019. Adam thinks thr party has come back to him.
What is the legacy of five years of supposed left hegemony, is it positive?
And how much does Adam give the Corbyn era out of ten?
More coughing, though fewer answers than that edition of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (and which ones are funding Sir Keir)?
Not cock-up nor conspiracy, some people had just gone down the pub
And why, with all the toilet roll panic buying we're glad we had those posters of Sir Keir through the post.
Jon and Adam clash, comradely, on the leadership election (again…well, it does go on), and on open selection. We speculate about just who is funding Keir Starmer, and how you're meant to sell the Green New Deal.
But mainly we spend our self-isolation telling each other why it is impossible to draw conslusions from local meetings - when no-one is able to really understand what's going on in them.
Leadership in 160 characters or less
It's a trickly time in the Labour Leadership. It really seems to have the potential to drag on, but all the candidates have been 'personally' texting Adam, even getting their buddies to give him a call.
They don't give a flying SMS about Jon though. Has his choice of Twitter icon spared him from a deluge of internal party marketing or does the keeper of the database simply not believe Jon has something as sophisticated as a cellular telephone. They are a bit capitalist, after all.
After a quick analysis of Adam's inbox, we look at the campaign to destroy the BBC – is it a distraction from destroying the economy, the NHS, or an essential elimination of an evil part of the capitalist status quo.
Oh, and find out what happens if you lick the window of Tottenham Ikea.
Clever or Stupid: EU Associate Citizenship, as promoted by Sadiq Khan.