100 word stories written and recorded by Laurence Simon every day, and a Weekly Challenge rounding up the best 100 word stories on a given topic every Sunday.
I like fans.
Even though the air conditioning is on, I still like the feel of a fan.
Some fans are loud. And others catch lint and dust and cat hair in the grating.
They’re a pain to clean out.
So, I looked at one of those Dyson fans.
They’re a bladeless design, and move more air while running much quieter than normal fans.
So, I got one. And I compared it to my normal fan.
It was quieter. I liked it.
Then I turned on my laptop to write a review, and it’s fan was as loud as hell.
The last minute trade
Sure, they’re a good team, but they can get better.
So, at the trade deadline, they shopped their star outfielder for a third baseman.
And the rest of their infield for starting pitching.
Their starting pitchers were dealt for a new outfield.
While the rest of their outfielders were exchanged for some bullpen pitchers, a closer, and a better catcher.
Another catcher came in an even deal for their existing catcher.
The next day, the locker room had a whole new bunch of guys suiting up.
In uniforms that the equipment manager had just barely finished sewing on their names.
The garage kitten
Someone found a kitten in the parking garage.
It was a small black kitten, and hiding under a car.
My black cat Myst has a bit of a cold, and I’ve been having to give her pills.
She bites and claws and spits them out, so it hasn’t been easy.
And last night, she fell asleep in my lap, fell off, and clawed my leg on the way down to the floor.
Maybe I should go back for the kitten?
I can show it to Myst and tell her that she’s been replaced.
Maybe then she’ll take her damn pills.
Weekly Challenge #782 – Advanced
* Norval Joe
* Planet Z
I joined the group for a laugh.
It was a dull Sunday afternoon, with nothing on TV, and I was bored; which is how I came to be trawling around communities on Reddit, just for the chance to wind up strangers on the internet.
The Advanced Subatomic Particle Physics subreddit caught my attention, and I thought it would be fun to inject a bit of humour into the proceedings.
Which is how my facetious comment about the interconnectedness of chocolate chip cookies and black holes, led to the discovery of a brand new subatomic particle.
Which, they named after me!
A cool course on something maritime, he couldn’t remember what. Something he had seen online, but he hadn’t paid much attention. And now he was in this predicament, surrounded by ice and no one in sight. The tiny boat was destroyed and that thing, whatever it was called, frantically blinking some sort of danger signal, was tossed aside.
“And now, Mr. Smart Ass who never reads anything ’til the end? And now? Well, now you’re gone.”
People searched for him. They did try…
Surprisingly, the advanced “cool course” had twice as many attendees. People like getting in trouble, don’t they?
The scientists tell us that The Doomsday Clock is ticking and we’re just one hundred seconds from midnight.
One hundred seconds aware from catastrophe, mass extinction and the end of the world.
And for me, I couldn’t be happier to see an end to it all.
When you’re immortal, time is an inconvenience; a never-ending, constant stream of boredom, irritation and near insanity.
Midnight can’t come soon enough for me.
So yesterday, I left my engine running, turned the aircon up to full, and spent all day dumping plastic waste into the ocean.
And the clock advanced one second closer.
The guard pointed at the sack of salt. The old man pulled it up on to his
shoulders. He moved steadily and evenly, which somehow made the guard
smile. I watched for about an hour, wondering how long the old man could
continue making the trip back and forth along the barber wire fence. Then
suddenly he drop face down, there were no demanding action on the part of
collection of guards. Just a moment of a hand a group of men materialize
out of the shadows. Then he pointed at me and I advanced. Work will set
you free I thought.
As spaceflight quickly advances, humans are soon returning to the moon. Mars would be next and I am encouraged that it could happen in my lifetime. A trip to Mars takes about seven months one way. For such a long flight the first crew should be Buddhist monks.
Buddhist monks are disciplined. They are accustomed to isolation. They already live a minimalist lifestyle. They could spend their downtime in contemplation of the Universe, while staring out at the Universe. Just think of the possibilities with meditation in zero gravity.
Landing on Mars, they would be in the ultimate zen garden.
Though Mr. Blanketmaker had advanced toward Linoliamanda’s father with his hand extended in a friendly greeting and a smile on his face, Mr. Withybottom turned his back on him, headed toward his house, and shouted over his shoulder, “Come on, Linny. Get in the house.”
It didn’t take an advanced degree in psycholog...
Jared – River Song
My story for last week is entitled Never Cross River Song
He stopped running. He was so tired of running. He had lost track of how long he’d been running long ago. But he couldn’t stop now. Running was the only thing keeping him out of the hands of his would-be killer. And she had a personal temporal displacement system. So, he had to run, but also jump – system to system, timestream to timestream.
He almost escaped for good. He did a multi-step jump through a planet moments before its destruction. But he triggered a traceable signature on the other side, allowing her to avoid his trap and regain his trail.
The topic of the next weekly challenge is SAINT
Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.
Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them.
Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is SAINT
Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE.
Include the following:
* The text of your story.
* A topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges.
* A website where people can learn more about you and your writing, include the URL to that website.
* A recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience.
I put the episode together on Sunday morning. But, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post.
Good luck, and as always… keep it brief.
JAN 3 Fire
JAN 10 Why is mother crying?
JAN 17 Get a life!
JAN 24 How does that grab you?
JAN 31 Prowling, Canon, Everything, To/Too/Two, Risk, Delinquent, Spray Tan
FEB 7 Smalltalk
FEB 14 Pizza
FEB 21 Wine
FAN 28 Ruins, Cone, A toast!, Rebel, Dive, Name change, Glow
MAR 7 Tilting
MAR 14 Behind a bush
MAR 21 Unlimited
MAR 28 Remember only this…, Scope, Church, Melt, Fade, Bare
APR 4 River crossing
APR 11 Advanced
APR 18 Saint
APR 25 Fuming, Bean, When will it stop raining, Vaccine, Quarantine, Helmet, Tin
MAY 2 List
MAY 9 Stay safe
MAY 16 Don’t press the button!
MAY 23 Hand
MAY 30 Address, Blundering buffoon, Bunny, View, Wizard, What’s that on the horizon?, Bark
JUN 6 Trade
JUN 13 Riding shotgun
JUN 20 Prompt
JUN 27 Crystalline, Copper, Outbreak, Demure, Paper thin, Bonus, Bleach
JUL 4 So many questions
JUL 11 Needle
JUL 18 Letter
JUL 25 Can you help me?, Enough, Market, Trial, Bundle, The noise is driving me mad!, Inventory
AUG 1 Discard
AUG 8 Misnomer
AUG 15 If I had a nickel for every time
AUG 22 Where do I begin?
AUG 29 Full, Where did they go?, Barrel, Your call, Universally, Joint, Some might say…
SEP 5 Doubtful
SEP 12 Over to you…
SEP 19 The heat of the moment
SEP 26 Craft, Ceremoniously, Empty spaces, Clickbait, Disposal protocol, You saved my life, Level
OCT 3 Binge
OCT 10 After
OCT 17 Disintegration
OCT 24 …Since records began
OCT 31 Vase, Rub, Top, Spring fresh, Chime, The End, Crop
NOV 7 Unsure
NOV 14 Arson
NOV 21 What’s that on your face?
NOV 28 Square, Unexpected message, Formation, The door flew open, Fret, Prediction, Jelly fish
DEC 5 Bee
DEC 12 Store
DEC 19 Left
DEC 26 Don’t push me…, Animated, Compassion, Indifferent, Ally, Whale, A fork in the road
THE REST OF THE TOPICS
Fight fire with fire
A thin veneer
I was very young
Are we there yet?
I’ll be there
Too much to bear
The sweet smell of success
Every good intention
Thousands of years
Shave your head, get a wet sponge, and flip the switch
I love this podcast. It's witty, sarcastic, and the stories can be rather thoughtful. They are very well written.
Podcast won't download to iPhone
It gets jammed up at 79kb.
Fun. Short. Fun. Did I mention fun? Great podcast idea and very entertaining.