The 4 Types of Friends and Why They All Matter

What if friendship isn’t all or nothing? 

In this episode, we’re redefining adult friendship and exploring the 4 types of friends that bring connection, belonging, and everyday value into our lives. 

What actually makes someone a friend? Is it shared history, emotional intimacy, or how often you talk? In this solo episode, Alex Alexander unpacks the friendship spectrum — from casual “familiar friends” to deeply rooted “present friends” — and shows why every type of friendship matters. 

By letting go of the pressure to define friendships in black-and-white terms, we open ourselves up to more connection, more support, and more opportunities to show up for one another. Whether you're navigating adult friendship challenges, feeling the grief of changing relationships, or just wondering how to know if someone is your friend — this episode will shift your perspective in the best way. 

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The trap of “friendship markers” — and why they’re holding us back
• How to redefine friendship using the 4 types: Familiar, Defined, Present, and Historic
• Why emotional intimacy is built through repeated, small actions over time
• Ways to connect and appreciate your friendships, even if they’ve changed
• Letting go of the pressure to "be everything" in every relationship

Reflection Question:

Which type of friend do you have the most of right now? Is there a small action you can take today to make that person feel appreciated?

Key Quotes:

"Sometimes I think we forget our closest friends were once just people we said hi to." — Alex Alexander, 20:00

"Redefining adult friendship means valuing what’s there, not what’s missing." — Alex Alexander, 17:31

Resources & Links

Learn more about emotional intimacy roots on my blog.

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Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!